Chapter 22

Felix

Felix felt like a failure. He'd missed catching the ball too many times lately, and it was pissing him off. Maybe he wasn't cut out for the job. Maybe he should quit, and they could get someone else to do it better.

He focused on the computer screen as the conversation continued around him, the words bleeding into muted tones as his eyes scanned the data on it. Why hadn't he checked? It was something he did regularly, just as a general upkeep type of task, but he hadn't checked since… He couldn't remember the last time, which meant it had been far too long. How long had they been listening to them? Had his mistake cost them something? Was he the cause of Tarrant's death?

A hand gripped his nape, and he didn't flinch, recognising the hold and closing his eyes.

"Stop it," Brett said. "It wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was. I should've checked."

"Yes, you should have, but then I should've told you to, as well. Things happen, and things get missed. It's not all on your shoulders, Felix."

Felix glanced at him. "It's just on yours instead, you mean?"

Brett stared back, his eyes showing a bank of stories he would never tell anyone. No matter how close they were. Not even Felix. His hand tightened.

"It's my job."

"It's mine, too."

Brett sighed and shook his head slowly. "You don't need this on you, Felix. Let me bear the weight. You need to keep going. Keep being the brilliant IT guy and bodyguard that I know you are."

A lump appeared in Felix's throat at his words. It was almost like a goodbye, but that couldn't be right. The only way Brett was leaving this place was in a coffin, and that was something he himself had said several times. He loved the Sutcliffes—they all did—but there was something about Brett's need to keep them safe that had always perked Felix's interest. He wanted to dig deep into Brett's past, but he'd once promised he wouldn't. That he would accept whatever information Brett gave him without questioning or researching for more. And Felix would keep that promise. But only if it meant he was safe. If Brett or anyone else was in danger because of something he didn't know, he would break that promise with only a second thought. It was nothing anyone else hadn't voiced before. Just not about Brett.

"I'm still here," he said instead of pouring out his thoughts.

Brett brushed his thumb against Felix's neck and then released him. "Good." He turned away. "I can't do this without you," he murmured.

Felix's heart began beating again, harder than before, but with purpose. He wouldn't let anyone down. He would find out what the fuck was going on, and they would stop it all.

These fuckers were going down.

****