26

Hailey

Christian's brothers and father left early the next morning after breakfast. The men embraced each other and said their goodbyes in the lobby in front of the limo. I hadn't known them for more than a day, but my throat clogged up when Christian wrapped his arm around Jager and squeezed tightly. It may be awhile before he'd see them again.

I had been so wrong about them being just his friends. He had referred to them as his brothers, but I thought he'd meant his ‘bros' or something. But no. Those men were his family.

When we arrived back at my place, I took the luggage from him and steered it away. Pulling him aside, I asked, "What would you like to eat?"

He frowned. "I'm not sure. I guess I can whip up something. Let me check what's in the fridge."

I held him back and shook my head. "No. I'm going to take care of you today. I know it's not easy to say goodbye, even if it's just for a little while."

He ran his fingers through my hair and lifted my chin with his index finger. "It wasn't fun, but it wasn't the worst thing I've had to do. I love my brothers, but we've been through a lot together. Distance isn't going to stop us from being there for one another. We all know that. So, you don't have to feel guilty, Hailey."

He caught me. I blinked. Was I feeling guilty? Yes. That could describe the emptiness in the pit of my stomach. "I just want you to be happy. And I don't ever want you to regret your decision."

He kissed me gently. "I am happy. And I've only ever regretted not doing something."

He grabbed my hand. "Come on. I've got a better idea. Let's go grab some burritos for lunch instead."

My stomach growled, and I smiled. "Sounds like a plan."

***

"I just got a text from Kendra," I said, after inhaling the last bite of my veggie burrito. "She says her producer Fitz wants to speak to us about something."

Christian packed away our trash and cleared the table. "All right, let's go, then."

He drove me to her studio and opened the glass door for me. I loved the little things he did. I kissed him on the cheek to show him how much.

The receptionist told me that Kendra and Fitz were waiting for me inside the studio. I kissed Christian goodbye and walked right in.

Kendra stood next to Fitz, who sat at the controls. She wore a black velvet one-piece jumpsuit with the word ‘superstar' written in gold across her chest.

"Hey, girl. How was your weekend? Heard you got some R&R."

I smiled, thinking of the little sleep I got with Christian waking me most of the night. "Sure did."

"Great. You're gonna need it because Fitz right here, has a brilliant idea."

"Cool. What is it?"

Fitz swiveled in his black chair, revealing a 1950s-style bowling shirt. It looked vintage. "I played your track to a friend of mine. He runs a charity, raising funds to save young girls forced into sex trafficking. He would like to know how you feel about partnering up and having some of the proceeds go to the charity."

I hadn't expected this news. I thought it was some self-promotion thing or a concert he would try to convince me to sing with Kendra. But this?

"I don't think we should donate part of the proceeds," I said.

Fitz's face fell. "You don't?"

I shook my head. "I can't speak for Kendra, but I want to donate all of mine."

Fitz's shoulders slumped, and he shook his finger at me. "You had me going, you know that."

I shrugged. "I wasn't trying to tease you. I just think it's an important cause and I want to do whatever I can to help."

"In that case," said Kendra. "How do you feel about creating a promotional video with the two of us singing the song that can be shared on social media? I think we'd raise more awareness that way."

"I'm game. Whatever you think will work. Oh, and I'm sort of short a social media manager right now, so let's go with your guy."

Kendra arched her eyebrow. "Definitely."

"Should we work on the video today since I'm here?"

"No. We're going to need to figure out where to shoot it and what to wear. We can't just shoot it now."

"Yes, of course, you're right. I suck at the actual performance stuff. Just let Sam or Frankie know and I'll be there. I'll head out then. It was great seeing you both." I shook both their hands and turned to leave.

Just before I opened the door, Fitz called out. "Hey, Hailey."

I looked over my shoulder. "Mmm?"

"There was one more thing I wanted to talk to you about."

"Shoot."

"Have you ever thought about writing for other artists?"

"Oh, I don't think so. I hardly have the time to write, create, and perform my stuff. Besides, I don't think other artists would be interested in my work."

He pursed his lips. "I beg to differ. I know a couple of artists and producers who would love to work with you in the studio right now." He smiled. "And you won't have to perform."

My lips twitched. "That is tempting."

He interlaced his hands over his belly. "Think about it. If you ever wish to stop touring and start writing full time, I've got enough artists to keep you busy."

I tilted my head and smiled, thinking that he was teasing me. But his face remained unchanged.

"I'll think about it," I said and waved goodbye.

I closed the door behind me and spotted Christian standing with his hands clasped behind his back, looking out the window.

"See any crazy fans looking to stab me in the back?"

He shook his head. "Don't even joke about that. It makes my blood boil to think about it."

He held my hand as we exited the building. "Hailey, I have some things to take care of in town. I'm sending a bodyguard I've vetted to the house to stay with you. I won't be there for more than a couple of hours."

Starting the car, he waited for my reply. "Sure. That's fine with me." I said. "I think my mom's coming by soon. She mentioned going over some financial stuff with me."

When we arrived at my house, another car was already waiting there for us. The bodyguard stepped out of the vehicle. He wore blue jeans and a black T-shirt. He didn't look like Christian and his friends, instead was a lot smaller but wiry. I bet he was fast, though.

He walked up to Christian and shook his hand. "Dean, this is Hailey. Hailey, Dean."

We shook hands, and I left Christian alone to give Dean the rundown of the house and his duties.

Stepping inside, I inhaled deeply and looked around. It felt like forever since I laid down on my couch and did nothing for a while. I crawled over to the gray couch, grabbed a blanket on my way, and pulled it up to my chin.

I closed my eyes and let sleep take over.

It felt like only minutes had gone by when a door slammed and woke me up. I groaned and squinted towards the foyer.

My mother stood at the door with her hands on her hips. "Are you sleeping in the middle of the afternoon, Hailey? What's gotten into you? First a weekend away and now sleeping. I didn't raise you to be lazy. Don't you have something you should be doing?"

I pulled the blanket over my head to drown out her voice.

But she pulled it down, anyway, and placed a hand on my forehead. "You're fine. No fever."

"I'm just tired."

"You came back from a weekend away. You should have gotten plenty of rest."

"Christian didn't let me get much sleep."

"That's disgusting, Hailey."

"Well, if you don't want to hear it, you're welcome to leave and let me sleep."

"You know we need to discuss finances. Come on," she pulled the blanket off of me. "Get up."

I shivered in my shorts and T-shirt. Despite her cold tactics, we did have this meeting booked, so I relented and got up.

Dragging my feet to the dining room table, I pulled out a chair and fell into the seat. I held my head with both hands while my mother reviewed my expenses.

"We have the usual car payments for the three of us, as well as Anya's private school and Joe's monthly stipend."

"What does Uncle Joe do for me again?" I muttered with my eyes closed, trying to focus on what she was saying.

She sighed. "He does odd jobs here and there. You know he can't go back to that dreadful job of his."

I nodded, unable to remember what my uncle had done for work before I started supporting his family.

"There are a few new expenses. There's Christian's fee, which is nothing to sneeze at, and you're going to need new outfits for the tour, so we have to add that in, too." She chewed on her pencil. "Do you think Christian will lower his fee now that you two are…" she cringed, "seeing each other?"

I smiled. "I'm sure there will be no fee this month. We're moving in together."

"You are?" my mother asked with a frown.

I snapped up my head. "Yes. What's the problem?"

"He's moving here, right?"

"Yes."

She wiped her brow. "OK, good. You scared me for a second. I worried you might have been thinking of moving to New York. You know how the cold weather wreaks havoc on my rosacea."

I rolled my eyes, but her remark made me uneasy. She didn't know how much Christian was sacrificing to be here, and she was worried about her complexion.

"You need to be nicer to Christian. He's leaving his family behind."

She shrugged. "Or he sees a new meal ticket here."

I snorted. "He doesn't need my money, Mom. He's got plenty of his own."

She narrowed her eyes, wondering if what I was telling her was true. "I can guarantee you, he's not with me for money. He's staying because he loves me."

She went back to her spreadsheet, undeterred. "Anyway, I'm glad to hear you're not thinking of moving. So, whom do you think we should hire to design the outfits? I hear Kendra's got a great stylist."

"She does," I said non-committedly. My mind wandered to Fitz's comments. How would I feel about not performing? Would I be happy just writing and composing songs?

The thought made me sit up straighter. It energized me. Worrying about performance anxiety, social media, or how to work an audience always weighed heavy on my mind. Those were the parts of this business that I dreaded and couldn't wait to be done with so I could get back to making music.

What if I could focus only on the music?

I inhaled deeply.

"I'm not sure I'm going to need those outfits," I said.

My mother scrolled through Kendra's social media, looking at her wardrobe. "You have a different style, I know. But I'm sure the stylist will accommodate for that."

"No. I'm not sure I'm going to tour."

My mother put down her phone. "What are you talking about? We already told Frankie we would do it. He's booked some dates across America this summer. Don't be ridiculous."

I fisted my hands. "I'm not being ridiculous. I'm thinking about my future. I don't like performing, and touring around the world isn't for me. I met with Kendra's producer and he said he could get me work as a writer for other artists."

She leaned back and crossed her arms. "You want to watch other people become famous with your songs? You want to be behind the scenes while someone else takes the spotlight?"

I shrugged. "Yes. That sounds kind of nice."

She shook her head. "You've lost your mind. Maybe you're right. You're tired and not thinking straight." She gathered her things. "I'll come back tomorrow after you've rested."

I placed a hand on her arm. "I'm thinking quite clearly. This makes sense. I still get to do what I love without having to do the things I don't love. If Christian can pivot, then so can I. I shouldn't be afraid of change."

My mother shook her head and smiled. "I should have known this was about him. Look, I know he's taken up a lot of your world right now, but this isn't a decision you make after having a weekend with someone. Your head's in the clouds, Hailey. I'm not going to let you do this."

"It's not your decision. It's mine."

Her face hardened, and she placed both hands on her hips. "You would be that selfish? You would forget about your responsibilities to your father and me? To your aunt, uncle, and cousin? You would do that for some guy who can, as you say, afford to take care of himself?"

"I'm not doing it for him, Mom. I'm doing it for me. And I have not forgotten my responsibilities. I will still take care of all of you."

"Not in the same fashion as you could if you were touring the world. Do you think someone would buy a fragrance with the name of the person with the writing credit or the one working her ass off on stage? Don't ruin everything we've worked hard for because you're tired."

"Now who's the one being selfish? My whole life, I've made decisions based on other people's advice and needs. I'm going to finally take what I want into consideration."

She was shaking her head, not believing me. Frustrated, I added, "If you ever paid close attention, you would have noticed how much I hate the spotlight or that I would rather not have a perfume with my name on it. I love music and I would never give that up. With this opportunity, I could focus on it more, instead of having to do the other stuff I don't like."

My mother's lip trembled. I'd never seen my mother cry. She was the strongest person I knew. I pulled her into my arms. For a second, I thought about giving in, but I closed my eyes and bit my tongue.

I'd meant what I said. I was finally doing something for myself and I wouldn't go back on it. "It's not going to be so bad, Mom. We'll be fine. I promise."

She nodded and sniffed. "I know. I know." She wiped her cheek. "I guess, I don't know." She shook her head. "I guess it's more than just the tour. Being a writer means you won't need me anymore. You won't need someone to organize and book things for you."

"Right. I won't need a personal assistant." I pulled back and held her face in my hands. "But I'll always need my mother."

I kissed her forehead, and another tear fell down her cheeks. "I'm a watery mess. Just look at me."

"You're beautiful, Mom. And I love you."

Her bottom lip quivered again, and she pulled me into her arms where I nuzzled her neck. "I love you so much, Hailey. I guess I was just worried that you wouldn't need me anymore. My whole life I've dedicated to you and your dreams. I don't know how else to live."

"That's sad," I said. My words were muffled in our embrace. "It's time you start living for yourself."

She nodded. "Maybe I will. Maybe I'll take your father on the Mediterranean cruise he's been wanting to go on."

I chuckled. "You get seasick on the ferry, Mom."

"Right. Don't tell him that, though. I'll figure something out."

Christian walked in just as we were both laughing and wiping the tears from our eyes. His eyes grew bigger as he took in the tableau before him. He looked less scared when he kicked open that restaurant door to save me.

"Is everything all right?"

"Yes. Perfectly fine. I just told my mom I wasn't going to go on tour."

"What?"

My mom shrugged. "You might want to sit down for this," she said and patted his shoulder. "Our girl is making moves."

Christian stared at me as my mother kissed me goodbye and closed the door behind her.

"What's going on, Hailey? I'm getting a little worried."

I laughed. "There's nothing for you to worry about. It's good news, actually."

I pulled him toward the couch and snuggled up next to him. "I'm not going on tour."

"I thought it was booked."

"I'll have to see what the contracts are like, but I'm telling my management company not to book anything else."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Before I left the studio today, Fitz said something that got me thinking."

"What did he say?"

"That I could make a career out of writing songs."

He shook his head. "Isn't that what you're doing now?"

I chuckled. "Yes. But I could do just that. Write for other artists and not have to perform. Just write. Do you know what that means?"

"Not really."

I grabbed his hands and turned to face him. "You don't have to move to L.A. We can live wherever we want. I can write from anywhere. Yes, I'll have to come to L.A. once a month to meet with artists and producers, but I can work that out."

I rubbed the crease between his brows. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I guess it's just a lot to take in. Is this what you want? I don't want you giving anything up for me, Hailey."

"I'm not. I'm truly doing it for me. The more I think about it and say it aloud, the more I want this." I smiled and kissed him.

He dropped his head and rubbed his face.

"What is it?"

"Well, I was out this afternoon speaking to some guys. I wanted to figure out a way to still keep busy while you were working. I was going to start a bodyguard business here with some of the guys I know from my time in the military.

"Oh."

I let go of his hands. "What does that mean? Do you want to stay here, then?"

"I don't know now. You've changed it all up on me."

He shook his head. "But this is good, Hailey. Now neither one of us feels as though the other is sacrificing something. We can decide together how we want to move ahead with our lives. Do you want to stay here in L.A. or move to New York?"

I hadn't thought about it like that. But he was right. We both had options now and we could move ahead with whatever felt right.

"Well, my parents will be staying here and your family is there. What if we split our time up? We spend fall and winter in L.A. and summers in New York?"

He kissed me gently. "That sounds perfect. I'm excited to start up an L.A. office of our bodyguard business, and I'll get to see my family for the other half of the year." He pressed a kiss on my forehead. "I never imagined loving someone could be this easy."

"It hasn't been easy," I said, thinking about the stabbing and the kidnapping. "But I know if we can communicate, we'll get through anything together."

"I promise you that, Hailey. I'll always tell you what I'm feeling. And I want you to do the same. I love you and will protect you for the rest of my life."

I threw my arms around him and squeezed until my chest burned. "I love you more than I ever imagined I could love someone."

"Who's going to break the news to Jake that I'm coming back home? I think he was looking forward to being the biggest one in our lineup of bodyguards."

I chuckled. "You guys tease each other, but you know you love him."

"I do. I am lucky to have them in my life. They prepared me for you."

He kissed me and we fell back on the couch, excited to start the next chapter of our lives together.