5

Bianca

I laughed so hard that I fell off the blue beanbag chair in my bedroom. ‘Thank you.’ I typed, wiping the tears from my face. ‘I had a stressful day at work, and you always make me feel better.’

‘You’re welcome.’ Ruby’s message popped up on my large screen. We’d been chatting for over thirty minutes, mainly about nothing, but it meant everything to me. I often wondered if there was something wrong with me that I got along better with someone online than I did with most of my friends. She always made me feel safe and knew how to make me smile.

‘I had a pretty shit day at work today, too,’ Ruby typed.

‘Really? Tell me about it.’

‘Nah. I’d rather play video games.’

Ruby rarely opened up. She kept her personal life private, but I didn’t mind. I did the same too. I think we both appreciated the escape and while we preferred our solitude rather than hanging out at a bar, I think we both liked having the other there for moral support.

‘I have to go,’ she typed about fifteen minutes later. ‘I tangled myself into some plans tonight.’

I smiled. It was just as I’d thought. ‘No worries. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.’

‘Talk then.’

After Ruby logged off, I stayed in the game for only a few more minutes before shutting it down. I checked my messages and email, and I realized that I should probably get ready, too. Stewart was coming by tonight.

I dragged myself to my closet and stared at my clothes. Ugh, I should go shopping.

Besides black skirts and blouses for work, I only had sweatpants and hoodies. There was no in-between. I’d gotten away with some work clothes in the past for our dates, but I felt I was giving Stewart the impression that I didn’t have much of a life. The truth was, I desperately wanted to save money for my own place, so new clothes would have to wait.

I pulled out a pair of black leggings and a long white shirt. It was loose, so I grabbed an oversized black belt and tied it around my waist.

There. That should be good .

We were only going bowling, anyway. I’d known Stewart for most of my life. He was my brother’s friend in elementary and high school, but only recently asked me out. I would normally say no, but I was trying to push myself more—get out of my comfort zone. My job was hectic with events. I was always chatting with people, meeting with vendors and clients, and I usually preferred a quiet night on my own. But my brother was worried about me, so I promised I’d go out a few times with Stewart.

Speaking of the devil, I found my brother on the worn out couch in our living room. He twisted his body to look at me when I walked past him to the kitchen.

“Didn’t you wear that on your last date?” he asked, running a hand through his already disheveled hair.

I shook my head as I opened the fridge. “Nope. I wore gray tights last time and no belt.”

“Look, I don’t know much about fashion, but maybe Lizzie can help you out.”

“I don’t need help with fashion, River. I’m just not prioritizing my wardrobe right now. I have what I need for work and I’ll make do with everything else.”

He sighed. “I don’t understand. You can stay with me for as long as you want. I’m not kicking you out.”

Smiling, I walked over to my brother and ruffled his hair. Although he was older by only eighteen months, he constantly took it upon himself to take care of me. “I appreciate you letting me stay here until I can get back on my feet…” I paused as I remembered the reason I’d left home and mentally shut the door on the memory. “But I don’t think I can take your loud parties for much longer.” I smiled, but he saw through it.

“I love you, kid. You don’t have to ever leave.”

A lump grew in my throat, and I had a hard time swallowing. I wrapped my arms around his neck while he sat on the couch and planted a kiss on his cheek. “I love you, too.”

He squirmed. “All right, all right. I think you’re choking me.”

I rubbed my cheek next to his just to piss him off as I knew he wasn’t keen on physical touch, but I also knew as much as he pushed me out of my comfort zone, I would do the same for him.

We both grew up with the same parents, but dealt with our upbringing differently. We each had our emotional scars, but they weren’t the same.

He glanced at his phone. “Hey, what are you still doing here? Wasn’t Stewart supposed to pick you up at 7:30?”

“Yeah. He texted a little while ago to say he’d be late.”

As though on cue, the doorbell rang.

Shit. “That must be him. Do you mind answering the door? I just want to finish my makeup and need a few more minutes.”

He eyed the door wearily. “Yeah. Sure. Just don’t let the man wait too long.”

I waved him off and jogged to the bathroom. I heard some muffled sounds behind the closed door, but focused on applying my red lipstick. Puckering a couple of times in front of the mirror, I ensured that I’d applied it evenly, and that there was no lipstick on my teeth. Red was not a forgiving color.

With one last check in the mirror, I opened the door and walked toward the living room.

“Sorry for being early. When I saw there were no cars in your driveway, I figured your company had left.”

That deep and raspy voice.

I would recognize it anywhere.

What the hell was Jager doing here?

My body moved toward him before my mind even processed, taking the first step.

He turned at the movement. “Bianca?” His eyes widened as he took me in from head to toe as though I were an apparition instead of a woman. “What are you doing here?”

I raised my eyebrow. “I should be asking you that question. I live here.”

“You do?”

“You didn’t know?”

He shook his head. “No, uh…” He glanced at my brother and rubbed his mouth. “River and I don’t usually talk about you.”

Huh.

Well, that stung. But at the same time, I wasn’t surprised.

“Of course. Well…” I looked around for my purse. Where the heck did I leave it? “I’ll be going soon, so don’t let me interrupt you two.”

I turned to search for my purse in my room when his voice stopped me. “Where are you going?”

“Out,” my brother replied rather quickly. Jager had noticed his eagerness as well and didn’t ask anything further.

“I think I left my purse in my bedroom. I’m just going to go and grab it.”

There was an awkwardness in the room that I couldn’t wait to escape. Luckily, I found my purse on my bed and fixed the strap on my shoulder before heading out. I decided to wait for Stewart on the porch. I couldn’t explain why, only that having him inside would only add to the awkwardness. I wasn’t sure if Jager remembered Stewart, and if he did, I wasn’t sure how he’d react to me going out with him.

I preferred to keep Jager out of my personal life as much as possible and keep our conversations and interactions to the office.

It was easier that way. I preferred not to think of the past, and Stewart would certainly conjure it up.

But when I walked out of my bedroom, Stewart was already there. He rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet with his hands in his pocket as Jager stared him down. My brother was no longer on the couch but in the kitchen, grabbing something from the refrigerator.

Stewart noticed me first. “Oh, hey. There you are!” His toothy smile was one of the biggest I’d seen so far. The relief on his face was obvious and the tension in the room was palpable.

Jager didn’t look away, though. He stared at Stewart; his gaze measured him from the black patent leather shoes on his feet to the brown fedora on his head.

I cringed. Stewart had terrible fashion sense, but tonight’s ensemble was particularly hideous. At first, I thought it was quirky, but having gotten to know him better, I was starting to think he just put on whatever he saw first in his closet.

“Ready?” I asked.

“Definitely.” I nearly expected Stewart to wipe his brow after that statement.

I wondered if Jager had said something to intimidate him like this. But when I looked at Jager’s six-foot-two frame, bulging biceps, and chiseled jaw, I realized he probably didn’t have to say a word.

I grabbed my coat and waved to Jager and River. “Have a good night and I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

“You mean tonight,” said Jager, but he continued to stare at Stewart although I’d been the one talking.

“Pardon?” I asked.

“You’ll see me tomorrow, but you’ll see your brother tonight. When you get back from your date.”

I furrowed my brow. “Yeah. I guess so. If he’s still up.”

“He’ll be up,” replied Jager without as much as a glance in my brother’s direction to confirm the statement.

River stepped out of the kitchen with two cans of beer in his hand. “Have fun, kid.”

“Thanks, River.”

Stewart shut the door behind us and exhaled. “Geez, when did Jager Payne get so huge?”

I shrugged. “I think he was always muscular.”

“Muscular, yes, but in a Bruce Lee kind of way. Now he looks more like Bruce Banner.”

I sputtered out a laugh and covered my mouth. “I wouldn’t call him the Incredible Hulk, Stewart.”

He shook his head. “You weren’t standing where I was standing. From my point of view, he was seething like him, too. I wonder what your brother might have said to upset him before I got there.”

I pursed my lips and wondered about that, too. Jager did look upset, but that could be attributed to several things. “He has a lot going on at work right now. He’s Mr. Towers’ new bodyguard.”

“Bodyguard, huh?”

I nodded.

“You know? I think we should stop talking about Jager Payne.”

“All right. What should we talk about?” I turned to look at Stewart as he backed out of the driveway. “Oh, I know. Let’s discuss what you’re wearing to my cousin Amy’s wedding next weekend.”

Stewart’s face fell and my heart sank. “What? What is it?”

He rubbed his palm over his thigh as he drove down the street. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.”

That sinking feeling persisted. “Okay. What did you want to talk about? I will take care of the gift and, of course, you can wear whatever you want. It’ll be super chill.”

“No. No. That’s not it.”

“What is it then?”

“I just don’t think I’m ready to take such a big step in this relationship. I think we should slow it down.”

I stared at Stewart and wondered what the hell he was talking about. “Okay. We’re not the ones getting married, though. You’ll just be my guest, and you know how much I hate going to family functions alone. It won’t be a big deal to anyone else there but me.”

“I know. I guess I’m just feeling pressured.”

I inhaled deeply and tried to speak calmly, even though I wanted to shake him. “I’m not taking this as anything more than another date. I swear. I just need someone there with me that night. Family functions can be…I don’t know…uncomfortable for me.” I usually had the worst stomach aches before and terrible migraines afterward from the stress.

“But who will they think I am? Your boyfriend? I’m not sure we’ve labeled our relationship yet.” He pulled up into the bowling alley parking lot, but didn’t turn to face me.

I couldn’t contain my frustration anymore. I shook my head and blew out my breath. “Just forget it, Stewart. If you’re not comfortable going to the wedding with me, that’s fine.”

He exhaled again and smiled as though I’d just told him he didn’t have to file his taxes this year. “Thanks. Ready to get our bowl groove on?”

Who said something like that? What was I thinking dating this guy? I’d promised River I would get out more, but this wasn’t it. The words, ‘take me home’, nearly spilled out of my mouth when I remembered that Jager was there, and I didn’t want to see him right now. Being rejected by Stewart and coming home to the man who had rejected me ten years ago was more than I could handle right now. I’d rather hit several pins with a heavy bowling ball than go home.

“Yeah. Sounds great,” I said with so little enthusiasm I was sure Stewart would notice. But he didn’t.

Instead, he smiled and walked on ahead as I trailed behind, wondering how the heck I’d get through the next few hours.