Chapter Three

Collette

I water the plants I keep by the front window, make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and settle down on the couch with an aching sigh. My feet are killing me… desperately killing me. I sat a little bit during the day, but by the time I got home, they were swollen to double their size.

Why do people like being pregnant?I haven’t figured that part out yet. Maybe it’s different when you have someone doting after you, telling you how cute you look with your bloated belly, reminding you how sweet life will be when you finally have your bundle of joy in your arms.

That’s not what’s happening right now. Right now, I’m a giant whale in search of a constant infusion of trans fats and sugar. I can’t remember the last time someone told me I looked cute.

I flick on the TV and turn the station to some cooking show. I don’t cook anymore because I can’t afford food. The piece of pie I had today in the diner was a treat. A rare treat. It’s the first time in months I’ve given into a craving like that. That said, I still love watching people cook. It’s relaxing and the repetitive motions and light banter is exactly what I need after a long day of lugging this stomach around.

“Knock, knock.” My friend Faith stands on the opposite side of the screen door. She’s dressed in a cute little sundress with pink flowers dotted along the hem and her hair is tied up in a purple bow. She reminds me of a 1950’s housewife, but in a modern, cute sort of way. It probably helps that she’s always coming by with a basket of homemade treats.

“It’s open,” I holler, barely moving from the couch. We just met a few weeks ago, but I feel like I’ve known her forever. She’s a transplant to the area and doesn’t really talk about it much, but she’s been a huge support to me and the one person I can tell absolutely everything to without judgment.

“I brought chocolate chip muffins and homemade soup!” She sets the basket on the table in front of me and I dive in like a monster who’s been starving for weeks.

“Thank you!” I sigh, biting into the spongy, chocolatey goodness of a warm muffin. “You have no idea how hungry I am.”

“I do. That’s why I keep coming over. You need to eat more.”

I stare down at my expanded stomach. “Nine pounds, two ounces. I’m pretty sure at this point, they got the timing wrong. I have a three-month-old living inside of me.”

She laughs and twists her hair up into a ponytail. “The muffins are working then.” Faith has a gentle kind of look to her. She’s thick and curved, with round cheeks and soft features. “How was your day?”

I sigh and lean back, closing my eyes for a second as I picture Max standing in the general store with his gun drawn. “I ran into an ex.”

“Which one?”

I laugh. “Fair question. The one from the past. The hot one. The biker.” I blow out a frustrated sigh through my pursed lips. “I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“Oh shit. You, ugh, you tell him the news?”

“Didn’t have to.” I grin. “He noticed. I don’t know what I’m going to do. He’s always been so aggressive, and I think he wants to start things up again.”

“What do you want?”

I bite into another muffin. “No clue. I don’t know if this is pregnancy hormones or what, but it was taking everything inside of me not to climb all over him on sight every time.” My eyes widen. “I mean, seriously, this dude was the hottest sex of my life. He’s an animal.”

Faith grins. “Do tell. My life is so boring.”

“He’s really into… telling me what to do.” My clit throbs and I swear a bead of sweat drips onto my forehead. “I… I don’t know. It was always so wild. He’s big, demanding, and his voice is so deep. And if I were naughty…” My thighs ache, halting me from explaining too much. “It was intense.”

Faith pretends to fan herself. “Oh my God. I’ve never been touched by a man, but when I do, I want it like that.” This is the first real bit of Faith’s life she’s shared with me. It’s kind of nice.

“Have you been in a serious relationship?”

She shakes her head. “Not really. I’ve kind of moved around a lot. So… there hasn’t been time for one.” She pushes her hair behind her ear to hide her lack of comfort even sharing this much. “Enough about me. Tell me more about your escapades. Why’d you guys break up if he was so… hot?”

“I guess with all the hot stuff comes the weird, aggressive stuff too. I don’t know. He’s doing some bounty thing for the mountain. The whole MC is involved.”

She tilts her head to the side. “Really? When did this happen?”

“Not sure. I just got back myself. It’s a mess if you ask me. He’s saying there’s some need and the money’s good, but it’s also so dangerous. We can have folks like that up here doing that work, I just wish it wasn’t him doing it.”

She pinches her lips together and nods. “Yeah. I, ugh, I just remembered I left the stove on at the cabin. I should probably get back to it.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks for the treats. You know I’m thankful for you!”

She smiles sweetly and backs out the door, nearly stumbling on a rock as she moves. I hate it when I forget and leave the stove on. It’s only happened once, thankfully, but the fear is always there.

When she’s gone, I drag in a breath and turn up the TV. They’re making some version of dumplings at looks pretty good, though I’d leave out the grilled onion.

When my plate is empty and the muffins are nearly gone, I waddle up from the couch, pour a big glass of milk, and head toward the bedroom. Talking about, seeing, and even thinking about Max has left me with wet panties more times today than I care to count. And like eating these days, my hormones are insatiable unless attended to.

I pull my vibrator out of the drawer and lay back, adjusting it against my clit. The angle is hard to get to given the fact that my arms are so short and my stomach is so big, but I make it work.

And after the day I had, I have to make it work.

Seeing him today was like a punch in the ovaries. He’s so big. So, so big. I’d forgotten how rough his hands are, how deep his voice is, how strong he is. I’m not sure what he ever saw in me to begin with. The man could have any woman he wants. He’s that kind of masculine. The kind that transcends socioeconomic status and age alike. Max is the kind of guy all women fantasize about. He’s rough, aggressive, possessive, and he doesn’t take no for an answer.

I close my eyes and drift off to the thought of our last night together. He’d leaned into my ear, bit the nape of my neck, and growled, “You were naughty today, little cat.” I’m tied naked to the back of his bike. My nipples are hard, and my thighs are aching.

Spank after delicious spank, he’d whip my ass with his bare hand and bite my nipples, scraping his teeth against my flesh as his finger rolls over my clit.

I was hollering out, begging for release.

“Tell me who you belong to, kitty. Who owns you?” He’d spank me again.

My clit throbs as I work the vibrations carefully.

His big body, his rough voice, his sandpaper hands. God, it was all so… intense.

I grind the vibrator faster and swallow hard as I near the edge of my orgasm.

My mind shifts to another day. His tongue against my nipples, and his fingers shoved inside of me. We were outside at the rodeo, and he couldn’t wait any longer. He tugged up my skirt, pushed me against the side of the building, and went for it. He’s an animal. Feral. Wild. Untamed.

My thighs tense and energy flies down my spine until convulsions take over and I’m soaking my sheets.

God, I want him back, just for one night.One night alone with him. One night to hold him and remember what we used to be. One night of pleasure.

The orgasm was supposed to quell the urges, but now, I just want him more.

If I had to estimate, I’ve thought of Max nearly five thousand and four hundred times in the past nine months.

If I’m over him, why am I thinking of him that much? I have a baby on the way. Math is math, but that math… that math, is wrong.

I slide my vibrator to the ground and drag in a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling fan as it whirs above me. I have no idea what I’m going to do. Any day now this baby girl will come headfirst into the world, and I’ll be her sole provider. The person who loves her, cares for her, feeds her, clothes her. I’ll be everything.

Little does she know… I have no idea what I’m doing.

I should tell my mom. I’m sure she’d understand. She understands most everything. Hell, I’m sure she’d be excited for grandkids at this point. She’s had a pretty hard year with losing my dad and all. Then again, she’d probably ask too many questions, and that’s one thing I’m not ready for…. the truth.