Chapter 10

Thar’oc

Rikki was fast asleep against my chest, her breathing fluttering across my skin, and her lashes these pale crescents against her soft cheeks. She was beautiful and for a few heartbeats I let myself savor this moment, and how lucky I was that I’d found her. Even luckier that she was here with me, and that she had come willingly into my arms.

Then guilt struck and my tail twitched against her hip, my free arm flying up to touch one of my damn horns. The notches burned against my fingertips, each carved slice warning me that my violent past had shaped me into a male that Rikki likely never would have picked if she had options. A big part of me was pretty good with that. She was mine, and I was not letting her go. But there was this little niggle of doubt, too. What if she found out, and it made her unhappy? What if I couldn’t give her what she really needed? A good male, with a proud and honest history? A bright future?

She sprawled on top of me and had my cock still snugly embedded in her tight passage. The thin thermal blanket I’d spread over us clung to every curve of her; her soft rear, her gently curved spine, the soft roundness of her shoulder. I should wake her, not ogle her ass as I contemplated her snug grip on me. This was when an honorable male would come clean and share everything, but I was not a good, honorable male. I was a killer and a mercenary.

Her breathing changed then, her lashes fluttering, and I knew she was stirring. I didn’t want this moment to be over yet. I wanted to buck my hips and wake her by fucking her. Already, my tail was curling around her thigh, pulling it higher so my rapidly firming cock could sink deeper. Then she clenched her muscles around me and I was done for.

Surging up, I pressed in deep, our combined release from before easing the way. She moaned, head lifting in startled surprise, and a pink flush spread across her face. “Thar’oc,” she said, her voice rough from sleep, and I hoped a little rough from the screaming earlier.

Her blunt nails dug into my shoulders as she hung onto me. Each thrust of my hips made her clench me tighter, my piercings and ridges stroking her sensitive inner spots. Her eyes had fluttered shut again, her head tossed back as rapture spread across her face. She was the prettiest thing I’d ever laid eyes on; I couldn’t get enough.

Tunneling the still bare tip of my tail from around her thigh and between our bodies, I found her pleasure button and started stroking that in tandem with the pounding of my cock. When she spiraled apart, her grip was like a tight fist, rhythmically clutching around me. It was too much, her loud moans, her nails biting into my skin, and that grip. I shouted her name, my seed boiling out of me in fierce bursts. She milked every single one of them, pulling me deeper into her body, where I knew I was meant to be.

Languid with satisfaction, the first hints of sleepiness touched my mind. I had not been able to shut my wildly spinning thoughts off before, but this round had soothed something ragged inside of me. I didn’t understand it, just knew that her willingness to take what I gave her meant everything to me.

Then her fingers trailed up along my neck. They danced like feathers along my jaw before they reached my mane. My breath stalled in my chest when she touched the base of one of my horns, my eyes flying open to look at her. She seemed soft and drowsy, but curious and far too awake to drift off again. She was touching my notch-carved horn, her finger probably dipping into the first cuts carved in the spiraling keratin. “What do these mean?” she asked, the dreaded question innocently flying from her lips.

I wasn’t quite sure why my mouth went dry; she had already seen me kill for her, and yet… “It means,” I said, “That I’m a murderer.” She was touching the first notch, the only notch that did not represent the death of another being. It represented the death of my old life, of my shameful past. It marked a turning point, no longer First Class Marksman of the Kertinal army, but a lowlife, a criminal. Until Captain Asmoded pulled me from a dive and put me to work.

She gasped, raising herself on her elbows on my chest to look me in the eye. I expected fear, condemnation, even horror maybe. She looked a little angry instead. “Why would you say that? I know you’ve killed people, but you did that to protect, protect me! That’s not really what a murderer would do. Is it?”

Warmth raced through my chest, my heartbeat started pounding. That warmth was spreading through my body, filling me until I felt lighter. It was suddenly much easier to make my mouth work to tell her the entire story, and it felt good when she just listened and nodded; with no judgment.

“My tour was almost up in the Army,” I told her. “I was a sharpshooter for them too, so it wasn’t like I hadn’t killed before. Those were sanctioned kills. Then this officer was murdered, shot through a window while he was in bed with his mistress. It was a tremendous scandal, and since I’d been seen arguing with him, I was the lead suspect.”

“But you didn’t do it,” she said immediately. So firmly, so confidently, that it made that warmth spread like wildfire through my limbs. Such unshakable faith in me. How had that happened? I couldn’t believe that I had earned that kind of trust; it was humbling.

I nodded slowly, my fingers raising to touch that first notch with a rueful expression on my face. “I did not,” I agreed with her. “And the court marshal that followed lacked the evidence to convict. I was dishonorably discharged from the army, forfeiting my chance at a slice of land in the empire.”

Raising my head, I made sure I was looking her in the eye when I explained, “I can’t offer to build you a home on my own land, you understand?” She smiled, shaking her head like I’d said something funny, her hand reaching up to stroke my chin. We’d lost our physical connection. The dark topic had softened me too much, even if her reception filled me with far too much hope.

“I don’t need that, Thar’oc. We’ll figure things out together.” She sat up, her legs spreading as she sat astride me, shamelessly displaying her beautiful, soft breasts. Then she crossed her arms with a firm expression on her face; it was cute. “I’m really sorry that happened to you, but if they couldn’t prove it, then why that notch? The notch symbolizes a kill?” Her eyes roved over the dozens that marked each of my horns.

I rolled a shoulder and offered her a smirk. “A couple of that officer’s brothers grabbed me off the street after I was released, and they were the ones who did the first one. My reputation was already down the drain. I figured I would build myself a new one.”

“As a killer?” she said. Her eyes were still on the many marks I’d made myself after that. Those each did mark a significant kill. I hadn’t marked my horns for goons like those attacking us in that motel, but I would make a mark if I managed to get my hands on the rich Asrai prick who thought he could own my girl.

“As a sharpshooter,” I amended, “But essentially, yeah. I worked almost exclusively for the Varakartoom for the past three years. Now I’m ready for a change.” All the marks I’d made on my horns had been kills for hire, kills that saved the lives of my crewmates, or ended a target the Varakartoom had been hired to take care of. It had been no different from what I’d done for the Kertinillian army, and I did not lay awake about those at night. The marks on my horns were like my advertising. They impressed people in certain circles, and they demanded respect.

Her hands stroked along my chest, petting me as she tilted her head and thought. “So, I guess I’m not terribly inconveniencing you with this damsel in distress routine?” I laughed at those words. She had been worried about that? That’s what she was taking away from this whole confession? I guess I had more honor left in me than I thought.

“Never,” I said, wanting to tell her just how much meeting her meant to me. A sound drew my attention before I could, my ears twitching, the fine hairs at the back of my neck rising. Throwing Rikki off of me, I had her wrapped in the blanket and pushed into a ball in the corner before she could so much as blink or squeak. “Stay still, whatever happens. Do NOT move,” I hissed in warning.

I couldn’t locate the blade that was supposed to go onto the tip of my tail, but I had never fully undressed last night. It took no more than a second to thump my feet into my boots and yank my armor back in place. With a pistol in my hands, I braced myself for the attack, snarling loudly to warn the creature that he was making one big fucking mistake coming here.