Epilogue

James

One Month Later

"What color do you like best? Green or blue?"

"For your studio? Green, it's more relaxing."

She smiles wide and bounces over toward me with a squeal. "You're right! That water wall will be in next week, so we can add that, and… what am I forgetting?"

"The fish tank." I smile and wrap her on my lap. "You said Iris is stopping by today with a few bags of fish, right?"

"Oh yeah! I forgot. I need to get water in the tank, and maybe start aerating it. Honestly, I should just spend the time reading a book on fish because I have no idea what I'm doing."

I kiss her forehead as she leans against my chest like the sweet little sun she is. "You'll figure it out."

"Will I?" She pats her stomach playfully. "I'm a little distracted by all the baby making to really focus on anything."

"How's that going? You think we'll be successful?"

She pulls a plastic tube from her pocket and points it toward me. "What do you think?"

Two solid, blue lines. My little sunshine is pregnant!

Fucking hell, I don't know what I ever did to deserve this.

Tears roll down her face. "Are you okay? You're not saying anything."

"Yes! Yes, sweetheart." I hold her tight and kiss the top of her head over and over. "I didn't think I could be any happier, but this… this puts it over the top."

She grins wide. "I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow if you want to go."

"Yeah, I want to go." I'm smiling about as wide as I did on our wedding day. Fuck! How did the first forty-four years of my life drag on, while the last two months have flown by?

It's hard to believe we've already done so much together. Our wedding was a month ago, right here on the ranch. It was simple, but perfect. A few folks came, mostly from her family, though my brother, his wife, and their dog were in attendance. Truthfully, I don't care who was there. My eyes were on Kenzie the whole time. She wore a long, white lacy dress that showed off her curves. Her hair was long and twisted with curls, and she smelled like lavender and fresh fruit.

I rub my hand over her stomach and wonder who is growing inside of her. Will I have a son or a daughter? Will they have my weirdo complexities, or will they be sweet and bright like their mother?

God, I hope they're like her.

"You feeling sick yet?"

She shakes her head. "Not at all. I'm going to blame everything I'm hungry for on cravings, though, so be warned."

"Yeah, is that right?"

She nods and bites back a smile. "Like right now, I'm starving for a large cheese pizza with buffalo ranch dipping sauce. And on the side, I'm thinking… brownies with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge. Oh, and the top covered with whipped cream and a cherry. Sorry, can't forget that."

I smile. "Whatever you want. Always."

Iris pulls up the driveway and Kenzie snuggles into my chest. "Maybe we just put everything else off today and go back to bed. What do you think?"

"I think your sister would yell at me if you didn't answer the door."

She sighs playfully. "Okay… I guess. I guess I'll protect you."

Begrudgingly, Kenzie stands from my lap and moves toward the door.

I'm still a little in shock. A baby. I'm going to be a father.

"Hey, Iris. You've come with fish."

Iris nods and holds up the bags of blue tang as though they're trophies. "Do you know how hard it was to drive these buggers home from the city? I was checking them every two minutes because I was afraid the bags would come untied."

"Did they?"

"No."

Kenzie laughs. "I guess we should get them in water then."

Iris looks around Kenzie and nods. Since the wedding we've come a long way, but I still think Iris is suspicious of me. "Your stalker is still here I see."

"Stalker?" Kenzie smiles. "Yeah, he's still stalking me. Stalked me all the way to the alter and now I bet he's going to stalk me right into the hospital."

Iris' brows narrow. "What?"

"I'm pregnant!"

Her sister stares toward me and then Kenzie with her mouth slacked open. "Oh my God! You're pregnant! How far along are you?"

"Six weeks. I think we're going to the doctor tomorrow."

"God, is this bad timing? I mean with your massage studio opening and everything." Iris sits at the dining table and grabs an apple from the bowl in the center.

"No, it's perfect. That's why James built the studio here at the ranch, so I could see clients and still be here for the family we want."

Iris laughs under her breath. "Well, let's be real. He built that here so he could keep an eye on all the dudes you're rubbing down."

"Maybe." Kenzie glances toward me with a knowing grin. The massages are bothering me less these days. I trust Kenzie and I know she's just doing her job. That said, I still give her spankings when appropriate.

"Wow, you guys are really getting things all figured out." Iris' tone is low, almost sad.

Kenzie sits next to her. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Iris wipes away a tear. "It's nothing. You're my sister, and I'm happy for you. Both of you. I just… I don't know. Cooper and," she sighs, "it's never going to happen."

"Did something new happen?"

She shakes her head. "No, but Bryan invited me on this trip he's taking. He wants me to watch the kids while they all go and do things. I said yes, but… turns out Cooper will be there."

"Shit. Can you get out of it?"

"Not really. It's this weekend. You're busy with the studio. Collette is driving back from Montana, and so that leaves me." She pinches her eyebrows together. "It's fine. It's about time I bite the bullet, anyway. Nothing is going to happen between us. The sooner I come to terms with that, the better off I'll be."

"I can call Bryan. The kids can stay with us for the weekend. We need the practice, anyway."

"No, thanks. I'm sorry. You guys are excited that you have all these great things going on, and I'm whining." She stands. "I'm a big girl. I'll make this work."

I know Kenzie wants to help Iris. Kenzie wants to help everyone, but I'm not sure this one can be fixed. Falling in love is hard. Falling in love with your brother's best friend is harder, especially when you"re not sure if the feelings are mutual.

"So, do you guys have names picked out or…"

I shrug. "I'm just happy to be here. So, whatever Kenzie wants, she gets."

"No. No. No." Kenzie wanders toward me and lands her ass on my lap again. This is my favorite place to have her. "You have to tell me what names you like."

"I'm not creative. I'd pick Joe and Tina."

She laughs. "Okay, maybe I'll help."

"What about… if it's a girl we name her Lillian Grace, after my grandma. If it's a boy… we name him Colin James."

I stare toward her with a lump in my throat. I'd never thought of naming a child after the friend and soldier I'd lost. Hell, I never thought I'd have a child.

"Is it weird? I mean, I don't want you to feel bad when you say his name, but… maybe it's a nice way to honor him, ya know?"

A tear rolls down my face as I stare toward my beautiful wife. "Yes. I love that. It's perfect."

She leans into my lips and kisses me softly.

"Okay, gag. Gag. Gag. Gag. You two are gross. Stop." Iris turns away and opens the front door.

"We are in our house," Kenzie says with a laugh. "We really need to find you a date."

"I agree. Can we find someone before this weekend? I need him to erase every thought I've ever had of Cooper. Deal?"

Kenzie smiles. "Whatever you say."

Iris opens the door and heads outside, fish in hand.

Kenzie turns toward me and leans in, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I'll be back fast. Are you going into town to help with the general store or are you staying here?"

"Ah, I should probably go into town. That bear did a lot of damage, but we're finally getting close to finishing, and I need to do my part."

She kisses me again. "That's why I love you."

"I love you too, sunshine. Be safe. Don't talk to anybody."

"Got it." She fakes a stoic expression and follows her sister outside. "Talk to no one."

When I was young, I believed that life was a set of trials. If you passed, good things happened to you. If you failed, you had to pay the price. There was no in between, no middle ground, no place of wavering. Failure was failure. End of story.

It wasn't until my bright ray of sunshine sat on my lap and held me through my pain that I realized failure is only the beginning. It's the start of something new. An opportunity to start again.

I'll never be able to go back to that day in Afghanistan, and I'll never be able to give Colin his life back, but I can hold each day like a gift, thank the heavens that I'm here, and welcome whatever sunshine comes my way.