Chapter 1

Hailey

“Hailey!” My brother’s voice comes blaring through the door. “Burken’s on his way over to see you.”

Wow! How nice of Derek to finally make time to come and welcome me home. It’s only been what, a week since I’ve been back in town? And what? Four years since the last time we saw each other. Guess that goes to show just how much he missed me.

“I’m heading out in ten for work, Bent. You may want to tell him that so he doesn’t waste his precious time coming over.” The bitterness in my tone can’t be helped. I’m hurt, and my brother knows it.

“Yeah, I fucking did. But he’s still coming.”

Bent sounds just as irritated by the fact, which actually makes me sad. My brother and Derek used to be tied at the hip. Best friends since the sixth grade. Like brothers. And now, it’s as if they’re not even friends anymore. I don’t understand what’s happened between the two of them and Bent refuses to tell me. He just keeps giving me some blanket answer of how they grew up and have grown apart. He says it’s because they live in different worlds now. Derek on one side of the law, and my brother is an officer of the law, so they no longer see eye to eye on things.

I don’t care what Bentley says. Derek is a good guy. He may suck at keeping in touch and getting his priorities straight when it comes to the people he cares about, or once cared about, but he’s not the evil criminal my brother is making him out to be.

“Fine,” I huff, rolling my eyes. If Derek wants to waste his time, that’s on him, but I’m not going to be late for work. It’s my first night on the job, and I really want to make a good impression.

Bentley’s heavy footsteps retreat down the hall, and my nerves start to take hold. I ignore the flutter of anticipation and pull my tank top over my head, tucking it into my jean shorts. I give my long, auburn hair another run through with my brush before slicking my lips with some gloss. I’m going light on the makeup tonight because none of the girls at the bar seem to really wear it. Besides, I always look like a clown in the stuff, so I prefer the natural look.

“Where is she?” The deep rumbly voice travels all the way down the hall to my room and right through my body. Dammit. After four years, that voice still does crazy things to me. I quickly check my reflection again, fiddling with my hair as I listen to his footsteps growing louder the closer he gets to me. They stop outside my closed door, and my heart starts to race as those fluttering little nerves hasten in my stomach. I’m nervous, and excited, and kicking myself for wondering if he’s going to like what he sees when he takes a look at the new me. I’ve grown up over the past four years, and it’s hard not to notice the changes, considering my breasts now practically make the tank top I’m wearing look obscene.

“Hailey Bean!” The excitement in his voice kicks up my breathing. I want to run to the door, throw it open, and jump into his arms, but I don’t. He doesn’t deserve such a warm greeting. Not when he’s shown me over the past four years exactly where I stand in his life. He cares so much he couldn’t even show up to my college graduation ceremony. Out of all the times of disappointment, that one hurt the most.

“Who is it?” I call out, pretending I don’t recognize the voice that has starred in my fantasies ever since I knew what the word crush meant. I’m sure Bentley’s out there rolling his eyes at me right now, knowing he just informed me of exactly who was stopping by.

“You know exactly who it is, baby. You’ve got three seconds to open up or I’m coming in.”

That word. Baby. It’s like a weapon to my senses, erasing all rational thought. I know he doesn’t mean it how I want him to, but I still love it when he calls me that.

“It’s open,” I say, keeping my voice flat, feigning my indifference even though I’m about to break out into a sweat and my arms are covered in goosebumps. I pick up my brush and turn toward the mirror, trying to make myself look busy— and to keep myself from pouncing on him. The last thing I need to do is look like a lovesick little puppy dog. I want him to see me as a woman now and not the immature teenager who’d practically drool all over him and follow him around every time he was over at our house.

The door bursts open and a gasp leaves my mouth. Not from the loud sound, or the surprise of the force of the wood banging against my wall. I’m not the only one who’s changed over the last four years. Derek grew into a man while I was away at school. One rugged, burly, totally ripped, totally tatted, dangerous looking man. I didn’t think it was possible for him to get any hotter, but the reflection consuming my mirror along with the air inside my lungs proves how wrong I was.

He eats up the space between us in three strides, and the heat starts to tingle up my spine, leaving me flushed as he braces himself against my back. Goodness, even the smell of him is sexy. He smells like the outdoors and motor oil, and I swear I want to bathe myself in the scent.

“It’s been four fucking years, babe. You better turn around and wrap your little body around my waist and give me a hug, or I’m going to bend you over my damn knee and give your stubborn little ass a spanking.”

I stop my eyes from fluttering closed and keep the moan locked behind my lips. Dammit. How am I ever going to get over my stupid crush when everything about him is intoxicating. His looks. His scent. His harsh, commanding tone. The sheer dominance that oozes off him like a thick, sexy cloud. The tendrils of his power sweeping through my body and drawing my need up tight. Every thought is consumed when he’s near. My entire body feels like a live wire. Heart racing. Palms sweating. Stomach fluttering wildly. It’s like a sickness.

Maybe I shouldn’t have moved back home after all. Maybe it would’ve been better for me to stay away like Bentley kept urging. It’s not like Derek will ever see me as anything other than his best friend’s kid sister. Or I should say ex-best friend’s kid sister. Otherwise, he would have made more of an effort other than to just pick up the phone when I called. If he truly cared about me, he actually would’ve taken the time to come visit me. And he wouldn’t have waited so long to come over and get this hug he claims he wants so much.

“Sorry, sir. I don’t hug strangers.” I finally turn and face him, crossing my arms over my chest and proving just how stubborn I can be. He lets out a little growl before he grips my arms and pulls me right into his hard body, tucking me in his huge frame and surrounding me with his big strong arms. The feeling of home washes over me, and I struggle not to melt into the warmth and comfort of it.

“Baby, quit throwing me your sassy little attitude and wrap those arms around me. It’s been too damn long, and I’ve missed you so damn much.”

I prop my chin up on his chest, looking up at the gorgeous man who has no clue just how much I missed him, too. “Really? Could’ve fooled me. Haven’t seen you in four years, Derek.”

His heavy sigh hits my forehead, and I take a closer look at his gorgeous dark eyes. The wrinkles around the edges. The heaviness weighing in their depths. He looks exhausted. Like the weight of the world is stacked on his shoulders. “Babe, you know I’ve been dealing with club business and couldn’t get away.”

I shift back, rolling my eyes at the mere mention of the club. The stupid motorcycle club has kept him from seeing me for the past four years. Because every time Derek was supposed to come out to campus for a visit, something came up with the Savage Knights and he’d have to cancel on me. And any time I was in town, which wasn’t very much since Bentley insisted on coming to me for the holidays instead of having me come home, Derek was always tied up with “club business” and couldn’t even make it over to the house for a five-minute visit on Christmas morning. He’s always dealing with club business, and I’ve learned over the past few years that the club is more important than me. It’s become his number one priority, when once upon a time, I held that place.

“Yeah, well, I’ve got my own business to deal with tonight. It’s my first official night at work, Derek, and I’m not going to be late.” I try to pull out of his hold, but his arms only squeeze tighter.

“You’re not fucking going anywhere until you wrap your arms around me, Hailey, and give me some of your sweetness. I’m dying here, baby. Give me a fucking lifeline.”

And there he goes, knowing exactly what to say to make my knees weak. I loosely wrap my arms around his waist, giving in to his request, but keeping my heart at a safe distance. If I let myself fall into the trap of my crush again, I’ll just end up wounded. And I don’t want to go back to that miserable place again. I’ve had four years to harden my heart and build up my walls. Four years of disappointment to make me numb, and to finally come to the realization that Derek will only ever see me as a girl he once looked after. So, I need to channel that resistance and stay strong.

“You know I’m sorry, babe. You know I missed you so damn much.” He hugs me tighter, thankfully bearing my weight because my body is melting. “It killed me not being able to make it out to see you, especially for your graduation. I know you hate me right now, Hailey Bean, but I hope you’ll forgive me one day. I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” My body ignores my mental protest, and my arms tighten around his waist as his words cover me like a soft, warm blanket, taking away the lonely isolation I’ve felt for so long.

“I’ve missed you, too, Derek.” I finally release my truth, wanting to settle his troubled soul. As much as I need to keep my distance, I don’t want him to feel like I’m shutting him out. The man is burdened enough by his past and doesn’t need to feel like another person in his life has abandoned him. I may be hurt that he’s been too busy to see me, and I may selfishly hate that I’m not the most important thing in his world anymore, but I don’t want him to ever think for one second that he’s lost another person in his life. I’m not going to be like my brother and everyone else who has made him feel like he isn’t worthy of being loved. I just need to figure out how to love him like a brother and not like the man I want to marry and make babies with.

But I’m not sure if that’s even possible. Even the anger and pain didn’t shut the feelings off.

His big arms lift me from the ground and he nuzzles into the side of my neck. A little whimper escapes my lips and I’m flooded with embarrassment. So much for being immune and not acting like a lovesick puppy. Goodness, I’m so pathetic. The guy is six years older than me and is used to more mature women. He can have any female he wants. Probably has a line of them waiting their turn to warm his bed each night. He definitely would never be interested in little ol’ me. A girl who practically clings to him like plastic wrap and moans like a cat in heat when he’s simply giving her a hug.

I need to get it through my thick skull that he doesn’t want me. Never has. And never will. I need to stop fantasizing that there could ever be something more between us. I’m just his once-best friend’s kid sister. The pest who was always following them around and chatting their ears off. I’m the girl he helped take care of after my parents died, and my brother was tied up at the police academy and couldn’t watch me himself. I’m the girl Derek held the night before I left town, wiping away my tears and reassuring me that everything would be okay. And that anytime I was feeling homesick up at school, to call him and he’d always pick up. And he did. He always picked up the phone, and he always made me feel like I was home even though I was a thousand miles away.

Oh God! I’m so in love with him it hurts. But he doesn’t feel the same, or else he would’ve come to visit when I begged him to.

I try to pull from his embrace again, needing space between me and that crushing truth. “I really do need to get to work, Derek. It’s my first night on the floor, and I don’t want to be late.”

He lets out a long sigh and finally releases his hold. I take a few steps back, trying to shake the disappointment and catch my breath. I need to get out of here so I can recover. That hardened shell I’d built over the last four years has suffered a big crack and I need to mend it— fast. But when I see Derek’s eyes traveling slowly over the length of my body, finally looking at me after all this time, the crack splits further. The longer he stares, the darker his eyes grow, making me think he might like what he sees and may be taking notice for once, but his harsh reprimand quickly proves just how delusional I am.

“What the fuck do you have on, Hailey? You’re not going to work like that. You look like fucking jailbait.” He’s shaking his head at me like I’m a defiant child and he’s my father. It’s obvious he still sees me as a little girl, which only has my stomach sinking further. “You better march back into that closet and put some fucking clothes on right fucking now, or you’re not going to be leaving this house and will no longer have a job to be late for.”

Like hell am I going to be treated like a kid again. I’m already dealing with one man in my life who still sees me as a twelve-year-old little girl, I don’t need another. I step right up to him, getting in his face. If he’s going to treat me like a child, then I’ll damn well act like one.

“Sorry, Daddy, but if you haven’t noticed, I’m twenty-two now. You no longer have a say in the matter. Now, this happy little family reunion has been fun and all, but I have more important things to do.” I step around the giant brick wall in front of me who’s practically frothing at the mouth, and walk out of my room. It’s time for me to get away from these crushing feelings trying to take me down.

“You’re going to let her fucking leave the house dressed like that?” Derek’s angered question is directed at my brother, who happens to be standing in the hall with his arms crossed, looking just as pissed as the man behind me.

“I don’t have a say in the matter. She already threatened to move out if I gave her any more shit about it. Why do you think I called your ass?”

Great. So now they’re ganging up on me. They may not be friends anymore, but they’ll gladly set their issues aside to put me in line like I’m a little girl. Guess that’s the real reason Derek came storming over, not to finally see me, but to handle the “stubborn little girl” since I was refusing to listen to Bentley. Just like old times, huh?

I turn toward both of the overprotective, brooding men in my life and give them each a look, letting them know they need to back down or they’ll both be sorry. “If either of you pulls this shit again, I won’t just move out on my own. I’ll move away, get a job at a fucking strip club, and you won’t have any say in the matter. I’m an adult, and no one, not even you, Officer Bentley, can argue the fact that it is my legal right to work wherever I damn well want and dress however I damn well please. Now, if the two of you overbearing jerks don’t mind, I’m leaving now.”

I walk right past my brother and straight out the door. I get in my car and head to Trigger’s for my shift with the tension spinning inside me faster than my tires spinning on the pavement. Those two men are infuriating. I love them, but they sure know how to piss a girl off.