Chapter 39

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H er green eyes locked on mine, burning with that same fire that always got her in trouble, the kind of trouble I’d lost count of. She stepped inside, shutting the door behind her, and we just stared each other down.

“We need to talk,” she started, her voice quieter than usual, like she was trying to figure out where to begin.

My stomach tightened. I knew what she was talking about. The kiss. The heat of the moment, the way our mouths crashed together like it was the only thing that made sense in the middle of all this mess.

And now here she was, wanting to dissect it, to make sense of something that didn’t have any place in this warzone.

“About the kiss,” she clarified, taking a step closer.

I rubbed my face, trying to buy a little time. “Red, look… that kiss, it shouldn’t have happened,” I said, forcing the words out, even though they tasted like ash in my mouth.

Her face hardened instantly, like I’d just thrown cold water in her face. “Why?” she shot back, stepping closer.

I sighed, shifting my weight against the desk I’d been leaning on. “Because I’ve got a duty. I’m responsible for this team, for their lives. And I can’t let anything—anyone—distract me from that.”

“Distract you?” she scoffed, folding her arms across her chest. “Is that what I am to you? A distraction?”

“It’s not like that,” I muttered, but even as I said it, I knew I was lying. She was a distraction. A dangerous one. The kind that made me lose focus when I needed it the most.

Her eyes narrowed, a flash of something—hurt, maybe—crossing her face before she masked it with anger. The room felt even smaller with her in it, the air heavier.

“Then what is it like, Rogue? Tell me. Because I sure as hell don’t get it. One minute, you’re kissing me like nothing else matters, and the next, you’re acting like I’m the reason everything’s falling apart.”

She stood there for a moment, arms crossed, staring at me like she was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on in my head. Hell, I didn’t even know half the time.

“Because you are ,” I snapped before I could stop myself.

Her face twisted with hurt, and I instantly regretted it, but I couldn’t back down now. “You make me lose focus, Red. You make me… fuck, I can’t even think straight around you. And that’s dangerous, for me, for the team, for you.”

Her expression hardened again, but I could see that flicker of vulnerability in her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

“So, what then? You think pushing me away is going to keep everyone safe? Is that it?”

I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. “It’s not about pushing you away. It’s about not letting myself… letting myself care too much. I can’t do that. I won’t.”

She took another step toward me, her voice low and sharp. “Why not? What’s so wrong with caring about someone, Rogue? Is it really that terrifying to you?”

“It’s not that simple,” I growled, my hands balling into fists at my sides. “You don’t get it. I’m selfish , Red.”

She frowned, confusion flashing across her face. “Selfish? What the hell are you talking about?”

“I would sacrifice this whole fucking team to save you,” I admitted, the words spilling out before I could stop them. “That’s how fucking selfish I am. And that’s why this can’t happen. It’s not right. It’s not fair to them, or to you.”

She stared at me, her green eyes wide, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. And honestly, I couldn’t believe I’d just said it out loud either. But it was the truth. I was supposed to be their leader, the one who made the tough calls, who put the mission and the team first. But with her around, I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t focus. All I wanted was her.

“So what?” she shouted, stepping right into my space now, her chest rising and falling with each heavy breath. “You’re just gonna keep pushing me away? Pretend like none of this is happening?”

I slammed my fist on the desk, the sound echoing in the small room. “Don’t mistake my restraint for indifference!” I ground out, my voice rough, almost guttural. “You think it’s easy for me to keep my distance? To pretend like I don’t want to grab you, kiss you? Fuck, my hands are trembling with the urge to touch you, Red. Every damn time I’m near you.”

I held up my hands, showing her the tension in my fingers, the way they flexed involuntarily.

Then I clenched them into fists, fighting the urge to reach out, to grab her, to kiss her like I fucking needed to.

“Then why don’t you?” she demanded, her voice rising, pushing me like she always did. “If that’s what you want, why don’t you?”

I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth. “Because I can’t afford to. Because I’m supposed to be in control, and you make me lose it.”

For a moment, the room was suffocatingly silent, the only sound the faint creaking of the old wooden floor beneath our feet. Then, to my surprise, Red took a step back, her eyes searching mine, like she was trying to find something to latch onto, something to argue against. But she didn’t. For once, she didn’t argue. She just stood there, no fight left in her.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, her hands dropping to her sides.

I blinked, not sure if I heard her right. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated, her voice steadier this time. “For making things harder. For… for distracting you.”

I didn’t know what to say. Red never apologized. She was stubborn, fiery, always ready for a fight.

“From now on, I’m under your command,” she added softly, her words surprising me. “No arguments, no more pushing back. I’ll follow your lead.”

I stared at her, my brain barely keeping up with the words coming out of her mouth. And maybe it was the exhaustion, or the tension that had been building between us for days, but hearing those words—hearing her submit like that—stirred something inside me. Something dark. Something dangerous.

Something I’d been trying to keep buried.

She turned to leave, but before she could step through the door, I grabbed her arm, pulling her back toward me. I stubbed out the cigarette, my hand tightening around her wrist just enough to feel her pulse jump under my fingers.

She looked up at me, her eyes wide with surprise, and for a moment, we just stood there, the tension between us crackling like static electricity.

“I can’t do this,” I hissed, my hands shaking at my sides. “But I also can’t fucking stop.”

Before I knew it, I had her chin in my hand, forcing her to look up at me. Her breath hitched, but she didn’t pull away.

“Stop me now,” I muttered, my thumb brushing against her jawline. “For both our sakes.”

Her lips parted, but she didn’t say anything. And that was all it took. My restraint snapped. I leaned down and kissed her, hard and fast, like I was trying to erase everything that had just been said. She kissed me back just as fiercely, her hands clawing at my shirt, dragging me closer, like she had something to prove too.

My hands roamed over her curves as I deepened the kiss, my tongue slipping past her parted lips to tangle with hers. She moaned softly into my mouth, her fingers tangling in my short dark hair.

I shoved her backward until her ass hit the desk. I pushed her back onto it, kissing her again, my hands trailing down her sides. She arched into my touch, her breath coming faster, her body telling me she wanted this just as bad.

I broke away from the heated kiss to trail my lips along her jawline, nipping lightly. Her head fell back, exposing the slender column of her throat.

As I trailed kisses down her neck, my hands slipped beneath her top, finding her breasts. My thumbs brushed over her nipples through the thin fabric of her bra, causing them to harden instantly.

My hands slid further up under her top until they were cupping those perfect breasts of hers. I gently pinched her nipples, feeling them stiffen even more beneath my fingertips.

Looking up at her flushed face, I saw pure desire etched into every feature. The way she looked at me, like she wanted nothing more than what I was offering in that moment, turned me on more than anything else could.

“Fuck,”I hissed under my breath, feeling the hard length of my cock pressing against my pants.

This wasn’t professional. This wasn’t right. But goddamn, I couldn’t seem to care.

“Rogue, we should st—”

She tried to pull back, a slight protest on her lips, and I couldn’t help but smirk.

I cupped her face in my hands, my fingers digging in just a little too hard, but I didn’t care. I needed her to know this wasn’t just some fleeting whim.

“Don’t talk back,” I said, my fingers threading through her hair. “You’re mine .”

She looked up at me, her eyes darkening with lust. “What if I don’t want to be yours?”

I smirked, feeling the heat of her body against mine, the way her heart raced just a little faster. “I’m not asking, little one,” I replied, dominant and commanding. “I’m telling you.”

Before she could react, I sealed my lips over hers, taking control of the kiss. It was rough, unrelenting—my mouth demanding, claiming. I wasn’t here to be gentle. This kiss? It wasn’t sweet. It was possession. I didn’t give a damn if she wanted to rethink this—I wasn’t giving her that option.

Her resistance melted under the force of my kiss, and I felt her surrendering, the fight leaving her as she kissed me back. My hands explored her body with a hunger that was nearly insatiable. Each touch sent shockwaves through my system, leaving me craving more.

I pulled back slightly, my gaze locked onto hers as I slowly peeled off her shirt. Tossing it aside, I didn’t break the stare, watching her the whole time. Her bra was next. One quick flick and the clasp was undone, the straps sliding down her arms. Those tits were perfect—full, round, topped with tight, pink nipples just waiting for me.

Taking one nipple between my thumb and forefinger, I rolled it gently, enjoying the way she gasped and writhed underneath me. I leaned down again, taking the other nipple into my mouth through the soft flesh.

My tongue swirled around the sensitive bud while I suckled lightly on it. Her back arched off the desk as pleasure shot through her system.

As I continued worshipping her breasts, I felt her small hand tentatively reach out to rest on my chest. Even through the layers of my tactical gear, her touch sent a shiver down my spine.

I captured her hand in mine, bringing it up to press against my cheek, making her feel the heat coming off me.

“You like what you feel?” I asked huskily, looking into her eyes.

The moment she nodded shyly, I guided her hand lower, letting her palm glide over my abs before she reached down to undo my belt buckle with shaky fingers. The sound of metal teeth clicking open echoed throughout the room.

She cupped me fully through my pants, giving a firm squeeze. I hissed through clenched teeth, my length throbbing insistently against her palm.

I could feel the pre-cum soaking through my boxers, and if she kept going, I wasn’t going to last long.

With quick, efficient movements, I stripped off my gear, leaving me in just my boxers. The sight of her flushed cheeks and eager eyes made my heart race.

“Touch me,” I commanded quietly.

Her delicate fingers traced the outline of my cock through the thin fabric of my boxers, teasing me mercilessly. I bit back a curse, my hands finding purchase on her thighs, squeezing them tightly as if trying to anchor myself.

As her thumb swirled around the sensitive head, smearing the bead of pre-cum, I couldn’t help but thrust into her hand, seeking more of that delicious friction. Her other hand found my balls, rolling them gently, and it was almost too much.

“Fuck, just like that,” I grunted, my hips rocking in time with her strokes.

My breath hitched in my throat as her strokes became more insistent, threatening to send me over the edge too quickly. Grasping her wrist once again, I gently but firmly pushed her hand away.

Her eyes were wide, confused, like I’d just pulled the rug out from under her.

“Did I do something wrong?” she asked, her voice trembling a bit.

“I don’t want to come like a teenager in your hand,” I rasped, my voice gravelly with restraint.

I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of her jeans and soaked panties, sliding them both down her legs. I tossed them aside like they didn’t matter, taking in the sight of her bare pussy glistening with arousal.

“So fucking wet for me,”I commented, a note of satisfaction coloring my arousal.

I kicked off my boxers, letting them join the pile of discarded clothes. Now fully exposed, we were skin to skin, our bodies pressed tightly together.

I sank into the chair, the old thing creaking under my weight as I spread my thighs wide, offering Red a clear invitation. The muscles in my abdomen clenched involuntarily as I watched her approach.

A predatory smile curled my lips when I noticed the way her eyes devoured the sight of my erect cock. It was almost enough to make me cum right then.

“Ride me, little one,”I ordered, a devilish glint in my eyes.

As she climbed onto my lap, I yanked her closer, one arm wrapped tight around her waist, forcing her body against mine until her heat was pressed right up against my aching cock.

A sharp hiss escaped me as she rubbed herself against me, coating my shaft with her slickness, making it even harder to hold back.

I grabbed her hips, guiding her down onto my hard shaft and I pressed my pelvis against hers, aligning myself at her entrance.

“Wrap those gorgeous legs around me,” I instructed, my breath hot against her ear as I nuzzled into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent like an animal.

With a single powerful thrust, I slammed inside, burying myself balls-deep into her tight, wet pussy. The way she clung to me, squeezing me, was almost too much.

“Fuck…” we both whispered.

I paused for a moment, savoring the sensation. Her tight warmth enveloped me completely, squeezing me like a vice. She began to move, rocking her hips back and forth in a slow rhythm that made my vision blur with lust. Each time she dropped down on my cock, it felt like I was splitting her in half, stretching her just right.

“God, Rogue…” she panted, biting her lip.

I groaned low in my throat, watching her bounce on me, her tits moving with every thrust. She took me deep, almost letting my cock slip out before slamming back down, taking all of me. I reached out, grabbing her ass, gripping it hard as I controlled her movements.

“Fuck, don’t stop,” I hissed through clenched teeth, pushing her down harder, faster.

Her hands braced against my knees for leverage, allowing her to sink even deeper, grinding against me until I could feel her pussy fluttering around my shaft, coaxing me closer to the edge. I met her thrust for thrust, my hips rising up to slam into her, hitting her deep enough to make her cry out.

“Oh my God!” she yelped, and I knew I’d hit the sweet spot.

Without warning, I surged to my feet, gripping her waist firmly as I lifted her off my cock. I spun us around, bending her over the desk with a loud thud, the thing creaking under her weight. It was scarred, rough like everything in this place, but solid enough to hold her chest pressed against the wood surface, and her ass raised high in the air.

“Hold still,”I growled, positioning myself behind her.

I gave her a hard smack on her ass, watching it jiggle from the impact. Her sharp gasp just made me harder, more fucking desperate.

The wooden desk creaked as her palms pressed into it for support, her back arching slightly as I pulled her hips towards me.

I lined myself back up, rubbing the head of my cock against her soaked folds before plunging into her again, hard and fast. The desk groaned under us, but I didn’t give a shit. I started pounding into her, not holding back, each thrust harder than the last.

My thrusts grew harder, faster, each one sending waves of pleasure coursing through my body. My hands gripped her hips tightly, guiding her movements as she bounced on top of me.

“Fuck... you’re so tight,”I grunted, my voice echoing around the room.

I could feel every inch of her pussy clenching around me, milking my cock for more.

I reached around, grabbing her tits, pinching her nipples until she moaned. I loved that sound, knowing I was the one wrecking her like this.

“Don’t fucking stop!”she urged, and my pace quickened even more.

My cock slid in and out of her with ease, hitting spots that made her moan and gasp for air. She was tight, hot, and wet—everything I had dreamed about and more.

I felt her start to tighten up, her body shaking, and I knew she was close. It was all too much, and yet not nearly enough.

With a low growl, I pulled almost all the way out, slamming back into her while my hand found her clit, rubbing it hard and rough.

“Rogue!” she screamed, her voice breaking.

“Cum for me, little one,” I commanded, my voice dark and brutal. “I want to see you fall apart.”

Her body convulsed, her pussy clenching so tight around me it nearly drove me insane. The way she fell apart under my touch, trembling and whimpering, was all I needed.

I couldn’t hold back anymore. The way she moved under me, the heat between us—it was like a fucking bomb waiting to go off.

“God forgive me,” I growled against her skin, my mouth dragging roughly down her neck. “Because I’m about to sin all over you.”

I could feel the pressure building, every nerve in my body on fire, the heat radiating from my spine out to every inch of me. One final deep, brutal thrust and I let go, pumping her full of my cum, filling her until it dripped out of her abused pussy. My orgasm ripped through me, wave after wave, until I was spent, utterly wrecked.

Panting, I collapsed on top of her, pinning her down with my weight, our bodies slick with sweat, her thighs sticky with everything I’d given her.

“Forgive me Father,” I rasped, “for I have sinned, yet in your name, I will gladly sin again.”

Red’s breathless laughter filled the space, her body pressing even closer, as if my words were all the approval she needed. “If this is sin,” she murmured, her nails digging in my thighs, “then fuck forgiveness—I want more.”

I pulled out slowly, watching with dark satisfaction as my cum leaked from her hole. The sight of it made my spine tingle, reminding her who she fucking belonged to.

Turning her around, I cupped her face in my hands, staring intensely into her eyes. There were no words needed between us; the hunger in my gaze said it all.

Her lips were soft—so soft it almost made me lose my mind. I pressed harder, needing more, feeling more than I ever thought possible. I could taste her breath, feel the heat between us, our bodies too close to breathe, but I didn’t care.

My hand cupped the back of her neck, pulling her in until I could barely tell where I ended and she began. She kissed me back like she needed it just as much, like we were the last two people in the world.

When I finally pulled away, we were both gasping for air, chests rising and falling in sync. Her lips were swollen, her eyes half-lidded, and I couldn’t look away. My heartbeat pounded in my ears, louder than I ever felt before.

What the fuck was that?

I’d fucked girls before, but this… this was something else. My whole body was humming, head spinning, like she was some drug I didn’t know I needed. I could still feel the ghost of her lips on mine, and for a second, I was lost in it—completely fucking gone.

I had no idea what love was supposed to feel like, hell, I wasn’t even sure I was capable of it. But looking at Red, breathless, wrecked, and more beautiful than ever, I knew one thing—I’d do anything for her. Anything.

It was insane—I barely knew her, but none of that shit mattered. Whether this was love or something else, it was the best fucking feeling I’d ever had, and I wasn’t ready to let it go.

But love? Could I even love her? My mind was racing, confused as hell, but my heart, my body—they knew. They fucking knew.

Red’s eyes opened, searching mine, like she was trying to read something in me.

“Fuck,” I whispered, my voice rough. “I don’t… I don’t even know what the hell this is.”

She didn’t say anything right away, just kept looking at me, her lips still parted, her breath still coming in short bursts. Her hand slid up to my chest, resting right over my heart, and I could feel it thudding against her palm. Her touch grounded me, but at the same time, it made everything more intense.

"I... I don’t know how to feel this shit," I admitted, my voice raw. "I don’t even know what the hell to call it, but it’s real, whatever this is between us. It’s real. And I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but you…”

I couldn’t even finish the sentence. The words didn’t exist. But the way she looked at me, the way her lips curled into the smallest smile, like she got it —like she understood what I couldn’t say—it hit me harder than anything else. She could see through me in a way no one else ever had, and that scared the shit out of me.

“You don’t have to explain,” she said softly, her hand sliding up to my cheek. “I know.”

How could she know? I didn’t even know. But the way she said it, so sure, so calm, it settled something inside me that had been spinning out of control since the moment I laid eyes on her.

“I’m not good at this,” I mumbled, my thumb tracing her bottom lip, still swollen from our kiss. “But whatever this is… I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“Neither do I,” she whispered, her thumb brushing over my chest in slow circles.

I just nodded, swallowing hard, my hand still tangled in her hair. “Good,” I muttered, my voice low. "Because I’m not letting you go. And I would rather die that let anything happen to you.”