Chapter 5

I slept like shit. Partially because I tossed and turned all night, still filled with a desire I don't think I am ever going to release, and the other thing is I am a stomach sleeper, and well, that is not happening anytime soon. I pull myself out of bed and look through my closet. Even though I am sick of overalls, what else do I have? Then my eye catches on this romper I picked up last week. It's cuter but a bit longer than I would have gotten, say, four months ago.

Smiling, I put it on because it is the first time in a while I don't feel completely awful. I braid my hair to the side, but I still don't bother with makeup. I slide into my sandals that I haven"t worn in months, but they just so happen to go with the outfit. Grabbing my book bag and phone, I walk down the stairs, and immediately, my mood takes a nose dive.

"Well, don't you look pretty this morning," Mom says, sliding me a plate of eggs and toast. Admittedly hungry, I devour both of them and start toward the door when she ruins the peace. "Darling, I know your break-up is fresh and all, but seriously, the guy I want you to go with is perfect for you. Even if it is just for prom." God, she is making me want to stay in my room until prom is over. I hold my finger to my nose and keep my back turned.

"I am going to be late, Mom. We can talk about this later." What is her deal? I think to myself, driving down the street. I mean, I get it, sort of. If this is a girl, I would want to have all these moments with her, but not to the point of obsession.

Pulling up, I am grateful Hunter is already inside because his truck is outside, but he is not. I walk into the school, smiling at those who wave at me, hurriedly trying to get to my locker. The less time people have to look at me, the better my chances of not being noticed.

"Hello, Gwen." I am stopped dead in my tracks by Hunter's sister, Heather.

"Hi Heather, how are you?" I ask, trying to smile. She and I used to be so close. Lately, I have been avoiding her like I have her brother, and it makes me feel like shit.

"I am just wondering what is going on. Everyone here knows you are perfect for one another, so why did you break up with him?" I see she's going straight to the point. Trying to handle it delicately, I answer her.

"Heather, sometimes people change. You are too young to understand, but one day, when you fall in love, you will see." Her head jumps back as if I slapped her.

"You know what, I may be young, but I know what love looks like, and I know when someone is lying." I move toward her to ask her what she means, but she turns around and slaps me back with her words. "By the way, Gwen, how many big shirts do you have in your closet?" With that, she walks away from me before I can say anything. I feel like something is stuck in my throat. My head begins to spin. How does she know? I have been so careful. My mind immediately begins wondering if she is going to tell her brother.? Oh my God. I am going to be sick.

The rest of that I spent terrified she was going to rat me out. The few times I saw Hunter, he would look at me; I swear I could see the accusation in his eyes, but then I would calm myself and walk away. One thing she said right: How long am I going to be able to pull this off? Not just hide the growth, but emotionally. Having to hold this in and carry this burden alone is likely to kill me.

When school is finally over, I breathe a sigh of relief. One more day down. More miserable ones to come.