Chapter 44

Chapter

Forty-Four

Ana

" C rusher!" I watch in horror, as he drops back into the portal.

Lunging toward it, I plan to join him, but smash into an invisible barrier.

Fuming, I turn toward Ember. "Let me go!"

She shakes her head, and I slam my palms against whatever magic she's created to contain me. Then I slump to the ground. Brute strength isn't my best asset and wouldn't work in this case if it was. Ember's magic was strong enough to hold Phil, so there's no chance I can smash through it.

I'll have to use one of my better honed weapons—persuasion.

"I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Phil," I plead. "What if he's still alive? What if seeing me, hearing my voice is what brings him back? Imagine if it were Zuben or Axe or Ryker? Wouldn't you go back?"

Ember's hands are shaking. She's not four feet in front of me, but a million miles away in terms of my ability to touch her. "Ana," she says softly. "Phil is gone." Her eyes emote compassion, but I want none of that.

"You don't know that. He can survive a stab to the liver."

"But—" Ember looks down "—the stake to his heart." She looks into my eyes. "Ana, I think Phil died on that rooftop. Crusher is certain of it."

I shake my head. What is she talking about? We've seen him since then. He didn't die.

"The demon brought him back to life," she continues. "The demon gave him extended life, so he could use Phil's body. And so…" She pauses, wringing her shaking hands. "If the demon was the only thing keeping Phil alive, and you killed the demon?—"

I fall back, dropping to my ass on the paving stones.

How did I not think of this before? And if Ember knew this would happen, why didn't she tell me?

The discussion she had with Crusher.

"Did Crusher know?" I ask, my voice barely audible.

Her lips quiver. "You should talk to him about that."

"I may never get the chance!" That realization hits me as hard as the one about Phil. I may never see either of them ever again.

And I realize that, despite all that's happened, despite all my denials, I do love Crusher. I love him fiercely, profoundly, deeply.

I hate that Crusher drugged me to get me away from Phil. I hate that he tricked me and deceived me, and that he's risking his life now. But more than that, I hate that he's taken away my chance to tell him how I feel and stolen my chance to be with him.

But the reasons behind Crusher's actions I hate, are also why I love him.

Earlier, I accused Crusher of being a rigid, rule-follower, and while he does love a good rule, everything Crusher does is motivated by what's right. And he'll break rules when he sees that they're wrong.

He's the one who got the brothers away from their master, the one who freed the other children and vampires at The Institute. He's the one who molded their master's rules to create a safe life for him and his brothers, utilizing the only skills they had, what they'd been trained to do. And while I've purposefully avoided asking too many questions about their so-called missions, I suspect he never took clients unless he agreed with their motives.

Even in my case, as soon as he realized that Mariano had changed the plan and staged an ambush, instead of kidnapping me for him, Crusher's the one who grabbed me and dropped down through that trap door.

My heart is aching so badly I'm not certain I'll survive. Not only have I lost Phil—for good this time—my heart must simultaneously deal with realizing I love Crusher, at the same moment I've lost him.

Ember is eying the portal; her entire body is trembling now.

"I need to close it." She raises her hands.

"No!" I leap to my feet, pressing my body against the barrier. "Please Ember. Please! Give Crusher a chance to get back."

"Ana." She turns toward me. "If I don't close this portal in time, it won't be Crusher who comes back through." She shakes her head, and her expression makes it obvious that she's already written him off. That she thinks the demons have already got him.

She swirls her hands, creating a ball of light between them.

"Just another minute. Please! " Every instinct tells me that Crusher will make it back. But is my gut feeling instinct or hope?

"Ana, I can see you love Crusher, but if I don't close this portal, every demon that my ancestors banished will return to our world. And the impact will be…immeasurable."

I draw a deep breath, remembering the swarm of monsters coming toward us. Now, I'm not only terrified for Crusher, I'm terrified for the entire world. I don't know how many demons the witches of old sent back to that realm, but I suspect that millions more than that number were headed toward the opened portal.

I open my lips, wanting to tell Ember that it's okay, that Crusher knew the risk he was taking, and that he'd want her to close the portal. But no sound comes out.

And then I sense a slight tremor in the earth below us. One so slight it might be my imagination, but it's clear from her expression that Ember felt it too.

"I'm sorry," she says. "It's time."

"No!" A thought flashes through my mind. "The vibrations. They set explosives! They're collapsing the portal."

Listening to me distracts Ember long enough.

Just as she's about to cast her magic toward the portal, Crusher emerges, carrying Phil's limp body.