Chapter 27

Chapter

Twenty-Seven

Ana

" B lade," Zuben calls over. "There is something here I would very much like you to read."

Blade, sitting next to me on the sofa, kisses the top of my head and then goes over to join Zuben, who's looking at a book opened on the large pine-plank table. How, or why, Zuben brought so many big texts up to this remote cabin is beyond me. If they still need to do research, we should have stayed closer to the sources, but I must admit I'm enjoying the cozy quiet up here at the cabin.

Flame drops onto the sofa, filling the space Blade just vacated. "Can I talk to you?"

"Of course."

Taking my hand, Flame pulls me up with him as he stands. "Alone?"

He was sitting for such a short time it's almost like he bounced on the sofa, and his body is literally vibrating. I can't tell whether Flame's nervous or excited. But regardless of what he's got on his mind, I'd love a chance to talk to him. We haven't had a moment alone since Blade and I expressed our love to each other.

I don't know if Flame knows about that yet, or if he does, how he feels about it. I want to be sure he's okay. He loves Blade, and this could change the dynamics between the three of us.

"What's on your mind?" I ask.

"Let's go for a walk." He nods toward the cabin doors.

Ember is cuddled between Axe and Ryker on a leather sofa near the fireplace, and Blade and Zuben's noses are buried in a book. Off to the side, Crusher's leaning against a thick wooden beam, arms crossed over his chest. He straightens when Flame and I pass by.

"We're going for a walk," I tell him.

"I'll come." His jaw twitches. "Phil?—"

"No," Flame says quickly. "I need to talk to Ana, alone."

"But I promised Phil?—"

"We'll be fine." I nod toward Crusher. "Phil plans to swim all night. And even though I know Phil would never hurt me, if he tries, I'll be safe with Flame."

"Damn right." Flame wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me more tightly against his body.

Crusher leans back again, crossing his ankles as his upper back presses against the beam. A pang of desire rushes through me. I might not be able to forgive Crusher for killing Timur and lying about it, but seeing him standing there, so stoic, so protective, even though I've hurt him…

The flickering light from the fireplace glints off the solid planes of his face, creating highlights in his dark brown hair, and setting his eyes alight. Crusher takes my breath away—always—and the way he's standing now, so strong and alone, leaning against a hard surface when there are plenty of comfortable places to sit, makes me want to forgive him, to invite him to come with us. But it also reminds me how rigid and stubborn he is.

Flame's fingers slide over my ribs as he gently urges me forward, and I refocus my attention onto my equally powerful, equally sexy Swede.

For now, everything between me and Crusher is settled. As settled as it's likely to be for some time. And Flame and I need to talk. He holds open the front door for me, and then takes my hand as we cross the porch and descend the steps into the forest that closely encloses this cabin, hiding it completely from the lake.

The woods on this island remind me a lot of the ones I knew as a child, and I inhale the fresh, pine-tinged scent as we make our way over the cushioned ground, punctuated here and there by smooth granite that peeks through, like smoothed out tops of massive ice burgs. I'm certain this entire island—this entire geographical area—is composed of massive lumps of rock, scraped clean and smoothed by receding glaciers after the last ice age.

But over time, life found a way through the stone. Birds dropped seeds that took root, then small trees and shrubs from one season created soil that collected in dips and crevices to provide nourishment for the seeds of the next season, and on and on, until a forest emerged. Nature really is a miracle. I peer through the tall boughs at the sparkling stars.

"Where are we going?" I ask Flame.

"I set up a spot for us."

"You did? When?" I try to think of a moment when we weren't all together. "That's very thoughtful."

Flame looks down at me with so much adoration in his eyes, my heart nearly jumps from my chest. How did I get so lucky to have these men in my life?

An owl hoots, and then flies through the boughs above, and I stop for a moment, watching it settle on a high limb, turning its head and likely looking for an unsuspecting mouse to have for a snack.

I lean into Flame. "I'd forgotten how much I love the outdoors."

"I'm sorry we held you so long in Freetown," he says. "We were only trying to keep you safe."

I squeeze his hand. "I wasn't even thinking about that." My captivity in Freetown is a small blip compared to most of my life. "When I lived at the palace, I did occasionally go out at night, but sometimes it feels as if I haven't been outside for a hundred years. And as a little girl I wasn't allowed to roam alone—not like this."

"You're not alone." Flame looks at me quizzically.

"I know." I laugh. "I guess what I mean is freely."

"I get it." He pulls up my hand and kisses my knuckles, one by one. "I spent a long time without freedom too."

Feeling trapped and controlled by others, is something I very much have in common with all four of these men. Again, gratitude swells inside me that we found each other, and that not one but two of them loves me.

"This way." Flame leads me through an area that's dense with pine trunks, their lowest boughs many feet above Flame's height. Then the woods clear, leaving only huge mounds of granite, decorated here and there with lichen, and leading down toward the shore.

Flame walks ahead, stepping from boulder to boulder. He turns to lift me off a high one, leaving his hands on my waist once I land in front of him. I lean into him, excited to feel the evidence of his arousal, and hoping that when he said he wanted to talk , he really meant sex.

Rising onto my toes, I lick my lips in anticipation, but he turns and leads me down to the shoreline. The moonlit water laps against the rocks. The sound is soothing, the ripples mesmerizing. If I stand here for too long, I might fall asleep. But remembering Phil's plans to stay in the lake all night, I glance out, trying to spot him.

Flame's hand traces down my arm. "Over here."

I turn to see that he laid a blanket in front of a boulder that could easily act as a back rest, along with several cushions and a picnic basket.

"This is lovely. Thank you." And the blanket and cushions reaffirm my suspicion, and hope, that what he's really wanting is sex.

He shrugs. "It's nothing, darling."

My heart expands as he calls me that, and he helps me sit on the blanket before lowering himself next to me. I'm pleased to discover the blanket is atop of a spot of soft earth, not just hard granite, and I lean back against the boulder to look out over the lake.

Flame shifts to sit in front of me, blocking my view. Not that I mind. This view is spectacular too. Reaching out, I stroke his cheekbone and then trace the strong line of his jaw. All four of these men are by far the most handsome beings in creation, and desire bubbles inside me along with my gratitude.

Leaning forward, I plan to kiss him, but he puts his hands on my shoulders keeping me at arms distance.

"Darling…" his voice is a near growl "…if I kiss you right now, we won't get the chance to talk."

"I thought that was the idea." Grinning, I let my hand slide from his jaw.

Then his neck flexes, as I trace the tendons housed there, loving how I feel the rush of blood beneath his skin as it responds to my touch. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I talked to Blade."

I smile. Glad that he knows and doesn't seem upset.

"I'm happy for you two. Glad you both finally admitted what was fucking obvious from the first day he saw you." He grins and his broad smile and flashing eyes reveal none of the jealousy or hurt I feared.

"You're okay with it?" I ask.

"Of course." He shifts his position as if his nerves have returned. "But I want to talk about my feelings." Looking up toward the sky, he shakes his head. "You're gonna have to be patient." His grinning eyes meet mine again. "I've barely figured out how to feel emotions, never mind talk about them."

"I'm sure you'll do just fine." I trace the shape of his massive shoulder, marveling at the muscles and power housed there. I'm getting more turned on by the minute.

"I have feelings…" he pauses "…for both you and Blade." He swallows hard, as if his throat was blocked. "What I feel for each of you…" He looks away. "It's similar , but also very different."

"How is it different?"

He shrugs. "Lots of ways. I guess with Blade it goes deeper."

Hurt slices into my heart, but I force out a smile. Until Flame didn't tell me he loved me, I don't think I realized I wanted him to.

"Shit." Flame shakes his head and his blond hair flashes in the moonlight. "I hurt your feelings."

Damn. He always sees straight through me.

Blade and Flame are a package deal. A duo. That's clearly what he wants to talk about. He doesn't want me to come between him and Blade.

"It's okay, Flame. I understand."

"No, you don't. I…" He rakes one hand through the longer hair on the top of his head. "I suck with words. What I meant before… What I'm trying to say… Deeper wasn't the right word. Or maybe it was? But if it is deeper with Blade, it's just because we've known each other longer. We've been through a lot of shit together."

Cupping Flame's face, I push through the pain of this semi-rejection, feeling so grateful for the love that I do have. It's beyond greedy to expect Flame to love me too.

"It's not just that you've known him longer," I say as I gaze into the dazzling blue of his eyes. "You and Blade have something special. That's obvious. I love Blade, but I know you love him, too. The last thing I want is to compete with that. I'd never come between you two."

Flame shifts, looking awkward, maybe frustrated, and my heart sinks even further.

He doesn't want to share Blade. Is he going to ask me to back off? I'm squirming inside, wanting to run away and hide, so he can't witness my pain.

"Ana," he says, his voice slightly strangled. "I can tell from looking at you that I haven't explained what I mean. What you mean to me ." His fingers thread into my hair, one hand encasing my skull, as his other slides to the back of my neck. His hold is gentle, but firm and sexy as hell. And I couldn't run now if I tried.

"Blade and I." Flame clears his throat. "We'll always have a…a connection. And yeah, we did figure out ways to make each other feel good during dark times. Sexual ways. There are lots of reasons I'm closer to Blade than my other two brothers."

Pausing, he looks toward the sky, and when his gaze returns to mine, it's like his eyes collected starlight up there. "I will always love Blade."

I nod, wanting to run again. I get it. I also get that he's trying to let me down easy, but drawing this out, emphasizing his intense feelings for Blade is making it worse.

He draws a shaky breath. "But what I need you to understand is, what I feel for Blade doesn't hold a candle to what I feel for you."

I gasp. My mouth opens to talk, but I have no response ready. At this point I'm not even sure what I heard.

He slides a finger over my lips. "That didn't come out right, either. There are no candles involved. Comparing how I feel for Blade, to how I feel for you? It's like comparing a spark to a forest fire."

Understanding better, I bring myself back down to earth. I am the spark. Blade is the forest fire.

"What we have is new." Like a spark. I force a smile through my pain, as I look into his eyes.

He nods. "New and sparkling and exciting and…overpowering." His chest expands through a long inhale as if he's demonstrating. "And now that I think of it, spark and fire aren't right, either. It's more like, what do humans say? Apples and oranges?"

An idea lights up his face. "No. It's like comparing human blood to vampire blood. Both are great. I need both, but wow…. What a difference. You get what I mean?"

"I do." And that analogy does make me feel better, because he needs human blood too. Flame might not love me like he loves Blade, but he cares for me. And he's not going to ask me to back away from Blade. I hope.

"Ana, whenever you walk in a room…" Flame's breathing more quickly now "…you bring the light with you. You brighten every room you're in with the blaze of a thousand suns. Whenever I see you, my body changes inside. You set me on fire." His pupils widen. "And I don't just mean with desire."

"Flame—" I'm the one panting now, realizing that I may have it all twisted.

"I love you, Ana," he says. "I love you so, so much. And it doesn't feel remotely similar to how I love the guys—not even Blade. This love." He slams his palm against his chest. "This is a feeling I've never had before. It's like you've taken up residence in my body, invaded my mind—fully moved in to my every thought. Every decision I make now involves you. I think about you when I'm falling asleep, and when I wake up. You're in my dreams."

His large hands envelop my head again. "Ana, you're everything that I need. I'm not even sure I need air or blood anymore. I feel sure I could survive on your smile, on your sweet voice, on your touch. One glance from you and I'm done."

"Flame, I…I…" Closing my eyes, I fight the whiplash from my assumptions. What Flame just said. What I think he said, goes so far beyond my wildest hopes. I can't catch up.

"It's okay." His hold on my head softens, and his hands drop softly to my shoulders. "I know that you love both Phil and Blade. And I get that everything's upside down right now." He swallows hard. "All I hope to hear is that I can stay a part of your life." His voice sounds desperate. "That you'll allow me to continue to worship you because, unless you forbid it, I plan to worship you, every minute of every day of my life."

"Oh, Flame, I… Yes. Of course." I want to tell him that I love him too, but he catches my mouth in a kiss, encapsulating my head again in his palms as he ravishes my lips, stealing my breath and my desire to speak.

What Flame said was so perfect, and I don't want to blurt out something inane or generic like, ‘I love you too.' That wouldn't begin to mirror how Flame expressed himself to me, or to show the magnitude of my feelings, which are becoming very clear.

There will be time to tell Flame how I feel later. A time when I have full use of my brain, not to mention my mouth. Right now, Flame owns my lips, my tongue, my teeth. He owns my entire body.

One of his strong arms lifts me to straddle him as he sits, and the other continues to cradle my head. The only thing that could make me happier than I feel right now, would be feeling Phil's arms around me like this again, but I trust that we'll discover a solution.

Together we'll defeat this demon, saving not only Phil, but the entire world, if Blade and Zuben are right about that.

I push those thoughts from my mind, banishing all but the most hopeful ones. I don't want to think about anything but Flame—his hands—his mouth—the hot press of his body against mine. And knowing the way Flame likes to fuck, he's about to erase all my worries, even if the effects are temporary.