Chapter 22

Chapter

Twenty-Two

Flame

" Y ou okay?" Crusher leans against the fuselage above my seat on the private jet, headed from Paris to Toronto.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" I reply.

"Because of that ?" He tips his head, and his words draw my attention away from where it's been focused for so long my eyes ache.

Turning away from Ana and Blade across the aisle, I stare out the window as Crusher slides into the seat opposite mine.

While I slept in this morning, something clearly happened between Ana and Blade—something that went well beyond fucking. And since we got on this plane, not a moment has passed when they haven't been touching each other—laughing or kissing or quietly staring into each other's eyes.

A few times, I've heard the words, "I love you," whispered between them. So, while I don't know what went on in the archives, before Crusher and I arrived, the bottom line is obvious. Ana and Blade are fully in love. Closer than ever before.

She's curled on his lap now, her head against his chest, and her tiny fingers stroking his throat as she looks absent-mindedly out the window. Through that window, the Toronto skyline emerges like crystal spears from the inky darkness of Lake Ontario.

"My sister Selina grew up here," she tells Blade softly. "But it's my first time visiting Toronto. My first time in Canada." She sounds excited, and I love how she's slowly but surely starting to live out her dreams of seeing the world.

My brothers and I have traveled for missions, and I'd love to show her the architecture and art in Paris, and in Istanbul, and Florence. A million places.

Blade kisses her forehead, then adjusts their position so she has a better view of the densely packed high rises punctuated by the CN Tower. We're landing at a small airport on an island near downtown, and once there, we'll switch into an amphibious plane that will fly us to Ember's cabin, landing on the lake that houses their private island.

"Seriously, Flame," Crusher says. "You're staring at them again. That can't be healthy." He shakes his head as if scolding me. "The Master was wrong about most things, but right about relationships." His brow furrows, and he rakes his hand through his thick, dark hair. "You're jealous. We can't let Ana pull our brotherhood apart."

My chest tightens. "It's not her fault."

Crusher crosses his arms over his chest. "Did I say it was?"

"It's not Blade's fault either." My jealousy downgrades to envy. I envy them both. But even my envy is lightened by their obvious happiness. I love them both, and it gives me joy to see them so blissful. That's why I can't look away.

Crusher leans forward. "Have you told her?"

"Told her what?" Nerves scramble my guts.

He rolls his eyes. "That you love her."

I open my mouth to refute his claim, but what's the point? Crusher's not the most intuitive guy when it comes to emotions, so if he's seeing how I'm feeling, it must be blatantly obvious. Inside my pocket, my fingers play with a book of matches. Not that I'd light one on a plane. But I've got a serious urge to make something burn.

"Are you afraid she doesn't feel the same?" Crusher asks, looking sad and worried.

"What?" Grinning, I gesture toward myself. "How could she not love this?" My attempt at lightening the mood seems to amplify Crusher's sadness, and he turns to look out the window. Crusher looks like a little boy who just lost his puppy. Not a look I've seen on Crusher before.

His jaw twitches, then he turns back toward me. "If you love her, you should tell her. Don't let your oversized pride get in the way."

I press my back against the chair. "Pride's not the problem. I just haven't had the chance to tell her. I'm waiting for the right moment."

Was I just supposed to say, ‘ditto,' after Blade declared his love while we were both fucking her at once? Not only did I not want to take away from his moment, I want my own. I want to tell her properly and in my own way.

"Whatever you say." Crusher shakes his head.

The pilot tells us it's time to land, and Blade lifts Ana, settling her into the seat beside his, and he kisses her as he fastens her seatbelt.

My envy returns, heavier now, more like a deep longing. I want what Blade has. What they have together. What I suspect Ana has with Phil too.

And Crusher's right. I need to tell her I love her. If I keep waiting for the perfect moment I might lose my chance.