Chapter 18

Chapter

Eighteen

Ana

I f I was on a rollercoaster of emotions before, now I'm on a bungee cord.

Whatever ride it is that I'm on, my heart's now on the exhilarating part, and I'm beyond grateful to discover my gut was correct. Phil is alive.

We can deal with a demonic possession. All will be well.

Filled with joy, my mind casts again into the future. Is there a way I could make a life with Phil? Perhaps with Flame and Blade too? The latter two are supporting me as we walk back to the apartment. After all the adrenaline of the past hours—not to mention the last several days—my body needs nourishment even more desperately than I realized.

Flame opens the door to the apartment, and we all take seats in the main living room, me nestled between Flame and Blade on the plush, red velvet sofa, and Crusher taking a leather club chair on the other side of the room.

I appreciate that Crusher isn't pushing to gain my forgiveness. It's not like me to hold grudges, but his confession shifted my understanding of his character, his priorities. And even though he told me he loves me, I can't see how that's possible. It's beyond clear that he doesn't put me first.

"Did you say there were four humans coming?" Flame kisses the side of my head.

I nod. "To be expeditious, I only requested one to be female." I glance between Flame and Blade. "I'm sorry. That was selfish of me."

"Selfish?" Flame asks. "Why?"

"The female is for me. I've never fed from a human male," I tell him. "If either of you have a strong preference for a female, I could contact the Intimates Coordinator and amend our request."

"Blood is blood," Blade says. "It's not like we're going to fuck them." Blade strokes my thigh in the most delicious way.

"Speaking of fucking." Flame's hand lands on my other thigh, lighting sparks that arc an electrical current between the two men's hands to crash at the junction between my legs.

I fight to control my rising arousal. It's best if I keep this feeding chaste. An hour ago, I didn't think I'd ever let one of these men touch me like this again, but I can't deny my physical desire. A desire that will build to a need after I have blood.

I should abstain.

Flame's touch rises higher on my leg. "Seriously, darlin'." He brushes his lips over my hair. "Should we set some ground rules before we feed?" His finger flicks over the junction between my legs, sending a fresh jolt to my core.

I stand, and then drop into a nearby chair, my body still buzzing from the contact.

"I guess that answers my question." Flame crosses one leg over the other, drawing my eyes to his lap.

He's hard already. He'll want a release after feeding.

"I'm not going to feed," Blade says. "It's already killing me to have this distance between us."

His expression, the deep longing in his eyes, reveals what he means by distance. He's not talking about the few feet between this chair and the sofa.

"Guess you and I will have to fuck." Flame winks as he slaps Blade on the shoulder, but Blade shakes his head, looking so dejected it tugs at my heart.

Blade has never told me he loves me. Not in so many words. But his actions have made me believe that he does. I don't want to lead him on, and I'm so up in the air right now. At least dealing with Flame is straightforward. He likes me—for sure—and he definitely wants to fuck me, but that's all it is. Flame's heart's not at risk. He's trying to protect Blade by setting rules.

"Ground rules are a very good idea." I draw the two men's attention, ignoring Crusher at the edge of the room. "Blade and Flame, if either of you requires a sexual release after feeding, and if you would like my…involvement in that…I suppose I consent."

"You suppose?" Flame makes a face. "Fuck, you sure know how to make a guy feel wanted, darlin'."

I smile, stifling a chuckle and loving that Flame is making light of this. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I only want to make it clear that…"

"That what?" Blade leans toward me with so much hope in his eyes, I feel like leaping across the space between us to offer reassurance. But that would be the opposite of what I'm trying to say.

"If, by chance, we have…intercourse—" This is so awkward.

"Intercourse?" Flame laughs.

I roll my eyes. "You know what I mean."

"That I do, darling." He tugs at the fabric straining over his package.

"If something does happen after the feeding, let's agree to keep our emotions out of it. It's important that we stay detached. That you treat me like…like a random hole. And I'll treat you like random…cocks." I'm not sure I've ever said that word aloud before.

Blade stiffens as if I hit him, but that only tells me how much I need him to hear this.

"Everything is up in the air right now," I say as calmly and cooly as I can. "My world has been flipped upside down, over and over and over." I shake my head. "I can't begin to know how I feel right now, and I don't want to lead you on. "I turn toward Flame. "Either of you." I swallow. "And once we get back to North America, my focus will be on Phil, on dealing with this demon, and?—"

"Yeah," Blade says coldly. "We get it. You want our dicks. But not us."

I suck in a sharp breath, preparing to refute what Blade said. It makes me sound horrible, and isn't what I feel, but he's right—it's exactly what I was trying to say. "Yes. That is correct."

Flame shrugs, and a strange expression flashes over his face. "As long as I get to fuck you?—"

The doorbell rings.

"I'll get it," Crusher says from the other side of the room. "And don't worry. I know where I stand." He nods sharply toward me. "I'll keep my cock to myself."