CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

I left Caden in the back parking lot and went to work, but I should have just gone home. My mind was restless. My body ached in the sweetest places from what he’d done to me. I couldn’t focus on anything with a constant replay of last night going through my head.

Finally, around five, I left the office and went home.

The house was quiet. My heels clicked loudly down the hall as I walked into the kitchen. I’d half expected my father not to be home, but to my surprise, the side door was open, and I could see him standing in the garden.

Frowning, I set my purse aside and stepped outside.

“Hey,” I said softly. “You good?”

He turned, arms crossed over his chest. I knew him well enough to realize instantly something was off.

“We need to talk, Circe,” he said.

My heart skipped a beat. Had he found out what I was doing and who I was doing it with? Shame rose in my chest and I found myself working my hands together. Rubbing my white knuckles.

“Is everything okay?” I whispered.

He turned to face me. “I haven’t been truthful with you when it comes to my intentions with the Welsh Mafia.”

That wasn’t what I’d expected.

“Okay, what…what does that mean?”

He cleared his throat. “I don’t trust them, and I never intended on seeing this deal to the end.”

My stomach dropped like a stone. “What?”

“The base Merrick has built is costly and it’s vulnerable,” he said. “My men are out there, being housed alongside his. All it would take is a little uprising, quick and clean, and I’ll own all the infrastructure.”

For the first time in my life, when I looked at my father, I didn’t see the man who’d raised me, the safe, paternal one who’d tucked me in at night and kept me safe. Sudden revulsion rose in my throat, and I had to swallow it back.

He wasn’t just my father. He was a man, a powerful one.

And he was hungry for more.

“Dad, that’s…not right,” I whispered.

He shrugged, his face hard. “It’s not a lucrative deal for me unless I can train private security candidates at the same rate as Merrick. He’s not giving me a fair shake.”

“But you agreed to this,” I protested. “You knew exactly what he was offering.”

His eyes flashed and he strode past me to the doorway. “I never intended on honoring this agreement. Don’t get soft on me. These people, this organization, they’re not good people. They’d do the same to me.”

He turned and disappeared inside. Into my head swam every second of last night with Caden, the nights we’d spent together in the lodge.

My blood turned to ice.

My father could never know I’d slept with the Welsh Brenin’s son. I would be a traitor, and I knew exactly how Johansen Enterprises dealt with anyone who crossed them. I would be a public disgrace. I couldn’t let my father know what I’d done, or I would lose everything.

I had to pretend I didn’t care.

How could I when the world had shattered? Sickness rose in my chest, not from fear, but from disgust. My fists balled as I strode after my father, ducking into the dim kitchen. He stood at the island countertop, pouring two glasses of wine.

“Have a drink with me,” he said.

Numbly, I obeyed. The wine touched my lips, acrid on my tongue.

Judas.

The word turned over in my head.

Who was the betrayer? Me or my father?

Or both of us?

“Your real mission is not to get approval from the board members, but to monitor Caden Payne closely,” my father said, swirling his wine once. “He’s the one person I’m worried about stopping me.”

“Why did you keep this from me?” I whispered.

“What?”

A little spark of rage flared deep in my chest. From the beginning, I’d thought he’d assigned me the deal with the Welsh organization because I was capable. Because I’d given him years of my life. I’d gotten a degree for him. I’d sat there like a fucking porcelain doll in board meetings to make him proud.

I’d built my entire life around what he wanted.

And…he didn’t have the courtesy to tell me the truth.

“Why did you keep this from me?” I said, my voice shaking.

His lids lowered, like he was ashamed. But that only lasted a moment before his cutthroat businessman mask slipped back on, and then he was back to being the CEO of Johansen Enterprises.

“Because you’re a good person,” he said. “And you wouldn’t have done it.”

My heart broke.

I’d always thought that was a metaphor, but I swore, I heard something crack in my chest. My insides were tender, pulsing with my heart like a wound.

Like a knife to the back.

Sick, I took a deep breath and tried to gather myself. He was staring at me, not like I was his daughter, but like I was his colleague.

“And why are you telling me now?” I whispered.

“Because it’s time,” he said. “Caden trusts you enough now, his guard is down. After this week, we’ll only have one board member left. I need to cut things short before we get to the board meeting and hold the vote on this.”

There was a long, painful silence. From my oldest memory, my father was the safest person in the world. But now, I wasn’t so sure. He was looking at me like I didn’t have a choice, which made me wonder what the consequences would be if I said no.

I swallowed hard. I needed to be very careful right now. My hand shook as I lowered my glass. My father’s pale eyes dug into me.

“Does he mean something to you, sweetheart?” he said, his voice soft.

Immediately, I shook my head.

His brow raised.

“He means nothing to me, Dad,” I whispered. “I work for you. I don’t have to agree with what you’re doing to carry out your wishes.”

A muscle in his jaw twitched. “Why don’t you agree with me?”

“I wouldn’t do it,” I said. “But I’m not in charge.”

He stepped forward and put his hand on my cheek. I swallowed, biting back my tears, trying to keep my emotions hidden. That was what he wanted after all. He wanted me to be good, obedient, and fight for his company without ever questioning him.

“I love you,” he said.

I nodded. A tear slipped out from my lashes, betraying me.

“What is it?” he pressed, taking my hand.

I shook my head, wiping my cheek. “Nothing, I can handle this. It’s just a big task. That’s it.”

He took my face in his hands, and for a second, I thought he would comfort me. But he just turned it up so I was looking him in the eyes and held me there. My heart thudded, wondering what he saw in my eyes.

Did he see my guilt?

Finally, he bent and kissed my forehead. “I love you, Circe. You’re my best asset.”

I sniffed. “Thank you.”

He released me and took up his wine, draining it. “Tomorrow, I want you to go see Caden Payne. I’d like you to bug his apartment so I know when he’s there. He’s the only one who can stop me, and I need him in Providence when we take the base.”

Numb beyond belief, I nodded. He reached into his pocket and took out a little plastic case. I stood there, staring down at it, thinking about all the things Caden had done to me in that apartment, all the things I’d felt within those four walls.

My hand closed over the case—or rather, my father closed my hand over it. I cleared my throat to keep the tears back.

“I expect it to be live by the end of the week,” he said. “You’ve got your work cut out for you.”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “I can do that.”

He patted my arm and set his glass in the sink. “I have a long day tomorrow, so I’m going to bed. You’d better get your rest too.”

He disappeared upstairs. I threw the rest of my wine in the sink and cleaned the kitchen, taking care to wipe down everything, stalling for time before I had to lie down and face reality. Finally, I turned off all the lights and dragged myself to my room.

I lay on my back for hours, staring up at the ceiling. Too stunned to feel. Too hurt to realize that deep down I was angry.

My father, my rock, had betrayed me.

It was early when I finally woke, my eyes swollen. I wrapped myself in a soft dressing gown and practically crawled to the kitchen for a glass of ice water and a coffee. There was a note from my father on the counter.

I’ll be gone until tomorrow, but I will see you for our meeting. Love you. Make sure to finalize the paperwork for this leg of the mission. And keep your eye on the ball, sweetheart.

I knew what that last part meant—do what I want even though I lied to you and set you up. Guilt flooded me at the thought of what my father’s plan required of me. I’d just slept in Caden’s bed—not that it mattered. When I put a knife in his back, he’d never look at me the same way again.

We would be over.

For the first time in years, I went upstairs to my bedroom and cried like a baby. Hard, curled up in the shower, water streaming down my face and mingling with my tears and snot. The last thing I wanted to do was betray Caden.

I had a horrible feeling this was the real thing.

It took me an hour and a lot of rolling with a frozen jade stone to repair my puffy face. My phone had a million unanswered texts. My heart hurt as I skimmed over all the people I was ignoring because I couldn’t tell them the truth.

The truth was…I was falling for Caden Payne. But he was the last person in the world I could end up with, especially after what my father had asked of me last night.

We were doomed for heartache.

Miserably, I took my birth control and swallowed it down with a green juice. I was still wet between my legs from how much he’d come inside me. Hopefully, the pill held up, because the only thing that could make this mess worse was if he got me pregnant.

I took a test, just to be sure, because my emotions were all over the place. I had a few in the cabinet that Delaney had left last year when she’d had a scare.

Negative.

I wasn’t pregnant, I was just devastated.

But there was no time to lick my wounds in peace. I did my hair and makeup and slipped on a pale mauve pencil skirt and a white blouse. The skirt was a little short, but I didn’t care. If anyone looked my way, I was in the perfect mood to rip them to shreds.

My office at Johansen’s Enterprises was quiet. My personal assistant, Stephanie, had it set up with flowery diffusers that bubbled quietly. My avocado toast and tea sat on the desk beside my laptop. I sank down and rubbed my eyes. Carefully, so I didn’t mess up my makeup.

Despair seeped in, moving through my veins like blood.

This wasn’t enough anymore.

My father should just cover me in plastic wrap, put me in a display case, and let me rot there forever. It would be more honest than what he was doing now.

My calendar pinged. I tapped my laptop, and the screen appeared.

I had a meeting with Caden. Of course, before everything had gone down, we were supposed to meet in the boardroom with my father before the next mission started. I hovered over my phone.

Maybe I should tell him not to come.

There was a light tap on the door, and Stephanie popped her head in. “Um…you have a visitor,” she said.

I frowned, hoping it was Caden and hoping it wasn’t.

“Who? Do they have an appointment?”

“No, but I thought I should let you know,” she said.

“Who is it?”

She leaned in and mouthed something. I stared, confused.

“Who?”

She slipped inside and shut the door. “Merrick Llwyd.”

My stomach dropped like a stone. My palms went instantly clammy, and my hands twisted in my lap. What was the Welsh Brenin doing here, in my office? What did the father of the man I’d just fucked senseless want with me? Had he found out?

I adjusted my face. No one could know how I felt.

“You can send him in,” I said primly.

She chewed her lip for a second, hesitating. I nodded firmly, and she slipped out, pulling the door open. She darted to the side, and a tall man in a dark suit strode through my door.

It was the first time I’d met Merrick in person. My stomach twisted as we looked at each other over the desk.

He was handsome, like Caden, but ranging more into the silver fox area. His dark hair was brushed back, his cobalt eyes bigger than Caden’s, framed with the same heavy, dark lashes. He had a strong jaw, a heavy nose with a flatter bridge than his son, and the same thin mouth.

He sat down, smiling politely.

“Hello, Miss Johansen,” he said, his dark, rich tone curling like Caden’s but without the accent.

I held out my hand. He shook it, flashing the wedding band on his other hand as he adjusted his jacket. I knew his wife a little bit; we’d exchanged a few pleasantries in the women’s bathroom at the country club. She was a lot younger than him, and she was always well dressed and covered in diamonds.

I knew what that meant for men from his organization.

“Can I help you with something, sir?” I asked, keeping my voice casual.

“I’ll be here for the meeting with Caden and your father,” he said. “I thought I’d stop by early.”

“Oh?” I rose and moved to the coffee and tea bar. “Can I get you anything?”

“Unless you have a pour over, then no thank you,” he said.

“I do, actually,” I said, opening the cabinet.

He had an overwhelming presence, and I could feel the combativeness. There was no world in which he didn’t know I was more than just co-workers with his son. My stomach twisted as I made him a coffee and brought it over. He dipped his head, not taking his eyes from me as I sank down.

“Did you have something you wanted to ask?” I said.

His brow arced. “How well do you know Caden?”

I leaned back, crossing one leg over the other.

“I know he’s your son.”

His face didn’t change. “Who told you that?”

“My father guessed,” I said. “You look a lot alike.”

He crossed his leg, mimicking me. His head cocked, and there was something in his eyes that made them dark, a little dangerous.

“Are you fucking my son?” he said, his voice low.

My jaw went slack as heat poured up my spine and washed over my face.

“Excuse me?” I gasped.

“It’s an easy question. Are you sleeping with my son?”

“Caden doesn’t need you to defend him,” I snapped.

“I don’t trust you.”

“And yet, you’re willing to take money from my company.”

“Your father gets a satisfactory cut of the profits. He’ll walk away happy so long as you keep your end of the bargain.” His face remained as still as stone. His eyes burned softly, like his fuse was lit but not yet an inferno.

A chill went down my spine.

“Are you trying to bully me?” I said.

He cocked his head. “I don’t bully women. We have a strict policy against hurting women at all in the organization. Your father is fair game, though. How much do you love him?”

I faltered, caught off guard.

“How dare you?” I whispered.

“If you’re fucking him to mess with his head, to betray or hurt him, I will gut your father like an animal,” he said softly. “I’ll drain your empire from the inside and leave you with nothing.”

Anger flared, washing away the guilt. Maybe my father was right not to trust the organization. I’d never seen anyone with such intense hatred in his eyes, like he really could disembowel my father without a second thought.

“Please leave,” I said, keeping my voice steady.

“I’d rather not,” he said.

“Or what?”

He leaned in. “Or I’ll make good on my threat. Do you want to know what happened to the last person who hurt someone I loved?”

“What? You canceled their loan?”

His eyes flared. “I tied him to a chair and beat him to death with my hands.”

The silence was deafening. My stomach roiled, and the peppermint tea on my desk suddenly smelled disgusting. Sickness washed over me, coupled with fear. I was under too much stress, torn up with guilt, and Merrick was scaring me to death.

“Get out,” I whispered.

Sweat broke out over my face and down my back. My stomach churned as the realization hit me that I was in over my head. This mission was supposed to be my test, but my father had overestimated my abilities in pulling me into his scheme to betray Merrick.

I wasn’t prepared to be caught between three of the most powerful men in our city.

I was twenty-five years old and green—Caden was right about that.

I definitely wasn’t equipped to face off with Merrick Llwyd.

He frowned, and I stood up abruptly, turning towards the bathroom. My head swam, my knees buckled, and suddenly, I was on my knees on the ground with Merrick crouched before me. He lifted me gently, setting me back in the chair.

“Are you sick?” he asked, reaching for a paper napkin. He poured a little ice water onto it and applied it to my wrists.

“No.” I shook my head, mouth dry.

He glanced up and back down. “How long have you and my son been together?”

I cleared my throat. “I’m not pregnant.”

Was that a hint of…relief? It was hard to tell. His mouth thinned as he pressed the wet napkin to my inner wrist. It felt like it was working—my racing pulse was slowing down.

“Do you scare your wife like that?” I said weakly.

He laughed, looking up at me with a softened expression. My heart ached. It was paternal, not dissimilar to how my father looked at me.

“I feel sorry for the women involved with men like us,” he said finally. “Your father should be ashamed to put you at the forefront of his business instead of protecting you. Over my dead body would my wife be put in a situation like this.”

I bristled. “What does that mean?”

He sighed, releasing my hand. “My organization is traditional. We’re making strides, but we still have firm beliefs we’ll never change.”

“Like being a misogynist?”

“It’s not misogynistic to protect your wife or daughter,” he said quietly. “Your father put you on a platter and served you to the wolves.”

“I can handle myself,” I snapped.

“I’m trying to make you understand how vulnerable you are.” He rose and sank down to sit on my desk. “Your father isn’t looking out for you.”

I sniffed, unsure if I was angry or confused.

“My son isn’t thinking straight,” he said. “Your father is hungry for power. It’s the only reason he signed that deal.”

God, if only he knew. Sickness roiled in my stomach.

“And you?” I ran my hand under my nose, still shaking. “What do you want with me?”

“Just to warn you.”

“So you’re saying that, because I’m a woman, I’m disadvantaged?”

He nodded. “Yes, you are.”

I frowned. “That’s a horrible thing to say.”

“It’s not if it’s the truth,” he said.

My mouth felt sticky, and my eyes burned. “Okay,” I said wearily. “Consider me warned.”

He stood and buttoned his jacket. “My wife would like to meet you,” he said, his voice going abruptly back to a pleasant tone, like we’d never had this conversation.

“Why?”

“Because we’ll both be there for the opening weekend of my hotel,” he said. “I know your next target will be there, so you’ll be busy part of the time, but she’d love to grab a drink with you the first night.”

I got to my feet, forcing my body not to shake. “Is this your way of fucking with me? Using your wife?”

His eyes flashed and his mouth thinned. “Unlike some others, we don’t use our women as shields or weapons.”

“Don’t insult my father,” I said firmly.

Merrick inclined his head. “As you wish. Maybe his intentions are purer than I anticipate.”

Guilt surged. He was right; my father had less than pure intentions with the Welsh organization. But he wasn’t using me as a weapon—he thought he was giving me an opportunity. He was trying to prepare me for the real world where I’d be running his empire, and that involved making hard choices. I stayed silent as Merrick went to the door, pulling it open.

He paused, looking back. “If you find yourself in trouble, call me.”

“I don’t have your number,” I said coldly.

“I’ll leave it with Stephanie.”

“Don’t bother.”

He dipped his head, and the door swung shut. I heard him talking with Stephanie on the other side of the door as I sank down. My laptop screen stared back at me as emails piled up, messages sitting at the corner of the screen.

I wanted to scream and smash it.

Instead, I picked up the phone. The ringtone buzzed twice.

“Hey,” Caden said.

“Hi,” I said, keeping my tone bright and professional like I was dealing with a client. “I’d like you to head to my office and fuck me over my desk. Disrespectfully, please. Does twenty minutes from now work for you?”

There was a short, shocked silence.

“Uh…okay,” he said. “I’m at training right now.”

“And I need you to blow my back out before this meeting,” I said. “So wrap up whatever you’re doing and be here in twenty.”

He laughed quietly. “Yes, ma’am.”

I set my phone aside and went to the window. Merrick stood in the parking lot next to a fancy black Audi. He had his aviators on, and he was smoking, staring up at the sky like nothing bothered him.

My fists clenched. I was tired of being fucked with.

No one came in here and talked to me like that without consequences.