CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The world felt different.

The morning after we returned from the lodge, I woke up with a start and lay on my back, just watching the ceiling with the strangest excitement in the bottom of my stomach.

I had slept with him.

It was beyond good, and I’d discovered a completely different person beneath all his armor.

Giddy, I sat up and padded to the window to push it open. The air was warm, the sun shone, birds sang in the orchard. For one, glorious moment, I forgot there was no world where Caden and I worked. Maybe one where we fucked in a montage, ate in bed all summer, swam in the ocean forever, but worked? No.

I shook my head hard.

There was no way we worked out.

I dressed, feeling especially beautiful in my short pencil skirt, towering heels, and blouse that showed off my bracelets and necklace. My stress was gone, wrung out by his tongue and fingers. The knots I usually had in my shoulders had dissipated.

It was a miracle. He’d fucked all the tension out.

I turned in a circle in the mirror. Relaxation looked good on me.

Down in the kitchen, I practically sailed through and grabbed a banana and a granola bar. My father was making himself an espresso and reading a file folder. I clipped past him and snatched his cup, taking a sip.

“Hi, I’m heading out for breakfast,” I said. “Then I have some documents to file. I left all the paperwork in your office.”

He sent me a long stare, a crease between his brows. “You’re very chipper this morning.”

I tossed my hair. “I’m always chipper.”

“Not like this.”

I shrugged, grabbing my things and emptying the espresso. “I’m just glad we got through the first part of the mission, and it went well.”

He gazed at me thoughtfully. Why was he staring at me…like he wanted to say something else, but he was biting his tongue?

Was I missing something here?

“You okay?” I asked.

He nodded, pulling me in for a hug. I curled against his chest for a second, his chin rested on my head.

“You’re doing great, honey,” he said quietly. “And I need you to keep doing great, even if things change with this mission.”

I pulled back. “What do you mean?”

He shook his head. “I just mean that sometimes, things change. I need to know you’re always on my team.”

Guilt surged through me. My mind went back to the two nights I’d spent with Caden. Technically, I hadn’t done anything that was actual betrayal. I hadn’t spilled company secrets or anything like that. All I’d done was have a little adult fun with a consenting, gorgeous, man.

It wasn’t important that he was the son of my father’s biggest competitor. I was perfectly capable of compartmentalizing.

“Well, I need to get going,” he said. “You be careful.”

“I always am.” I kissed his cheek, and he gave me an affectionate squeeze before gathering his things and leaving.

Still a little guilty, I drove into the city and pulled up at the Vengeful Mermaid. The last time I’d had a meal here was…that awkward date with Damien.

Oops, I’d never texted him back. But then, he hadn’t reached out either, so it must have been a mutual choice.

I stepped out of my car and clipped into the restaurant. Emmy and Delaney sat out on the balcony, both looking airy and made up in sundresses and aviators. Emmy waved as I crossed the room, and Delaney nodded. She seemed a little off.

I sank down. “I only have a few minutes.”

Emmy rolled her eyes. “You always only have a few minutes.”

“Enough for a mimosa?” Delaney cocked her brow, smiling for the first time.

“Maybe just a sip,” I said.

We ordered, and Emmy started talking about her work, which I had a hard time following. I was better at strategy and business than science. But it lit her up, so I nodded and asked all the right questions. After a while, Emmy got up to use the bathroom, and it was just Delaney and me.

“You okay?” I asked.

She tilted her chin and adjusted her sunglasses. “Yeah, I’ve just been kind of stressed.”

“About?”

She pursed her lips. “Yale’s putting pressure on me to consider getting married in the next few years. He wants to start the engagement process.”

I’d been friends with Delaney long enough that I was familiar with the Welsh organization’s engagement process. It was long, involved, and cost a lot of time and money. It wasn’t Delaney’s style.

“How do you feel about…what was his name?”

“Trystan,” she whispered. “I don’t think he’s a bad guy.”

“You just don’t want to marry him.”

She nodded, her jaw working. “He’s hot, I guess.”

“How old is he?”

“Thirty-eight.”

“Well,” I said, gesturing, “you do…like…older guys. Maybe if you get to know him, you would warm up to him.”

She sighed, taking off her sunglasses. Her eyes were puffy and right away, I felt terrible for her. She didn’t pull away when I took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Yale won’t force you to get married,” I said.

“No,” she sighed miserably. “But it’s the pressure of not doing the thing that everyone expects you to do that is hard to handle.”

My mind shot back to my last night with Caden. Maybe I knew exactly what Delaney was feeling. I wouldn’t be forced into an arranged marriage either, but if I wanted to keep my life as COO and representative of Johansen Empire, I had to marry someone my father approved of.

And he wouldn’t approve of Caden.

Emmy reappeared, and we finished breakfast. Delaney seemed lighter after talking. I gave her an extra hug when we parted, and she pushed her aviators up quickly, like she was trying to hide her eyes.

“Hey, let me know if I can help with the whole Trystan thing,” I whispered. “Just text me whenever you want.”

She nodded, ducking into her car. I watched her and Emmy drive away with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I worked too much, and I was missing my best friends’ lives. It made my stomach twist with guilt every time I had to decline an invite. If she did marry Trystan, I’d probably be late for their wedding.

I slipped into my car and, for a second, I considered driving to Caden’s apartment downtown.

Something was changing; I was never like this. I didn’t want to work today. I wanted to get fucked through a mattress and eat take out in bed.

Or…maybe I just wanted that with Caden.

My knuckles turned white on the steering wheel.

This was a fantasy. There was no world where Caden Payne and I worked. I wasn’t sure I wanted it to work out long term anyway. It wasn’t like I felt something for him other than lust, right?

I needed to get myself together, complete this mission, and go back to my normal life of boardrooms and business.

Deflated, I drove straight to the office. My eyes were wet, although I wasn’t sure why, as I took the elevator to the top floor. My father’s office was closed, which wasn’t unusual. He usually took meetings around eleven.

I slipped into my office and locked the door. For some reason, everything was too bright today. Maybe I shouldn’t have had that mimosa. Taking a deep breath, I turned my computer on and sank down, crossing my legs.

The screen flickered on, revealing the search engine I’d left up the last time I’d worked from the office. For a second, I just stared at it. Then, quickly, I typed in something that had been in the back of my mind for days.

Temple of Aphrodite at Ephesus.

I glanced over my shoulder even though I was alone and stole a glance back at the screen. That was what I’d thought. Most of my classes in college had to do with business, but I’d taken a few history courses. When I’d thought about it, I’d realized that the Temple of Aphrodite wasn’t one of the seven wonders of the world.

That was strange. He didn’t seem like the type to get that wrong.

I closed out of my search and opened my email, turning myself on autopilot. Maybe none of this mattered. Maybe he’d made a simple mistake, but I had a feeling he hadn’t. I worked through my emails, looked over a handful of project proposals, and ordered lunch a few hours later.

The afternoon wore on.

I ate my chicken breast and steamed vegetables. I sat up straight in my chair, my heels tucked under the table. I moved through my afternoon meetings. But in the back of my mind, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Every time I closed my eyes, all the dirty things he’d said tumbled through my mind. I thought of the heavy expression in his gaze when he’d looked down, his cock buried in me, like he wanted to eat me alive. But most of all, I thought about our bodies on cold stone.

Wrapped up, entangled and buried in each other.

Moving in the cool of the morning with the scent of incense in the air.

It was a relief when the clock hit five. My pulse was thrumming as I headed out and drove directly home. To my relief, my house was empty. I pulled my heels off and ran upstairs, shutting my door and locking it. My hand hovered over my purse as I debated pulling my phone out and texting him.

I couldn’t…and yet, I needed him.

No, I had to control myself. Frustrated, I tossed my things aside and went into the bathroom, turning the shower on, feeling oddly embarrassed because I was never this horny. With a sigh, I pulled my little box of sex toys from the cabinet. In the corner was a velvet bag, and in it was a clear rubber dildo I’d never actually used.

Normally, I just slid my fingers or my discreet vibrator under the covers and did what needed to be done before falling asleep.

I bit my lip, debating. What did it matter? No one would ever know.

My hands moved of their own accord and grabbed the dildo and a little bottle of lube. In the shower, I turned the shower head towards the wall and sank to my knees. If I didn’t just do this, I was going to lose my nerve. So, I pressed it onto the floor between my thighs and sank down on it.

Disappointment twinged. I was full, so full it hurt a little, but it wasn”t the same as him. He was warm and alive. His pulse had beat with mine as his hands roamed over me, urging my pleasure to climax. Resolutely, I closed my eyes and rode it gently, the way I might have on top of him.

It felt good, but it didn’t hold a candle to him.

The least I could do was work the tension out so I could get some work done in my home office before bed. Planting one hand on the wall and sliding the other over my clit, I moved my hips slowly. My mind drifted back to him, to how he’d touched me.

To how he’d put his mouth between my legs like he was worshiping me.

My spine arced. An orgasm swept through me and left me shaking, holding onto the shower railing. The only thought in my head was how triumphant he’d be if he ever found out I’d gotten off to the thought of him.