CHAPTER TWELVE

I went down for dinner around seven, but she was nowhere to be seen. What had happened back in the hall had probably scared her off, but that didn’t mean I regretted it. Clay Maxwell was on my immediate shit list the minute he walked through the door. I knew men like that, the kind who liked fast cars and women too young for them, and it pissed me off.

When I’d heard him proposition her, my blood went white hot. Maybe I shouldn’t have said the thing about fucking her in front of him. That was over the line.

But I stood by the rest.

I ate and had a bourbon at the bar before going back to my room. My eyes ached, and not even taking a hot shower helped it. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and stepped out onto the balcony, feeling vaguely guilty about the pack of cigarettes in my pocket.

The air was warm, a hint of coolness wafting from the pine forest. I flicked the lighter and inhaled.

After I’d left the UK, after Merrick and I first met, he’d given me space to work through the news that I had a father who was the billionaire head of a mafia organization. That one had taken a few swallows to get down. For an entire month, I’d stayed at the lodge, running ten, sometimes fifteen, miles a day.

Smoking heavily. Crushing Adderall on the sink. Trying to wrap my head around the realization that my entire life could have been different.

I could have avoided all the pain. The violence. The horrifying shit I’d done just to get by.

I glanced behind me at the cozy lodge room. It was probably good they’d renovated it. I swore I’d memorized every nook and cranny of mine during those four weeks.

The lodge had been a haven outside Providence for me while the truth sank in, but it didn’t heal me. I’d dragged all the shit I’d carried back with me. Not even Merrick knew how miserable I’d been for the first several years, and he didn’t know that, until five years ago, I’d been a serial abuser of prescription drugs.

Crushed pills to get me going in the morning. Alcohol to pull me out of it at night. A hundred million lies about why I bit the inside of my cheek, why my nose bled every time I showered, why my entire body ached like a motherfucker from locked muscles.

He’d be so disappointed.

I sighed, releasing the smoke and snapping my eyes open.

“Hey.”

My scalp prickled, and I swung around. On the balcony beside mine sat Circe, wearing a silk dressing gown. It was big on her, loose enough that it draped over her body and trailed on the ground.

The neckline hung on her shoulders, exposing her collarbones. Two delicate lines, like a stag’s antlers, bone white in the moonlight.

Out of nowhere, a deep hunger moved through my body and settled in the pit of my stomach.

I had to have Circe Johansen tonight.

Fuck everything else until the morning. Yes, I’d sworn to Merrick I wouldn’t fuck this mission up. Yes, he was counting on me. Billions of dollars hung in the balance. But nothing felt real anymore except the feral craving in my veins to have her for the first time.

I blew another stream of smoke. “Hey.”

She licked her lips. They were a pale pink instead of mauve. She’d taken off her makeup, and I could make out the natural shadows beneath her eyes. The only things left were her lashes, but they were much sparser without makeup.

I liked how naked she looked.

“Did you have dinner?” She cleared her throat.

I nodded. “Where were you?”

She sighed, a long, musical sound. “Honestly, after our meeting, I needed some alone time. I ordered room service.”

I knew she meant that as a reference to my behavior earlier, but I ignored it. Her eyes followed me as I stepped forward, into the light cast from her open door.

Electricity crackled between us, and the air felt thick. Her eyes moved over my body. I’d looked at her like this before, but she’d never dished it back until now. In my sweatpants, my cock woke up. This time, I didn’t try to keep it down. She was welcome to look if she wanted.

Her glittering eyes moved lower. Her brows shot up and her full mouth parted.

“Oh my,” she whispered.

I wasn’t wearing anything but sweatpants, and I was at full mast, every part of me visible through the fabric. There was nothing to be done about it—trying to cover up would only make things worse.

Instead, I sighed and took another drag off my cigarette.

“It’s got a mind of its own,” I said lightly.

She swallowed, slender throat bobbing. God, I wanted to get my teeth on that. Bruise up her perfect skin, maybe hold the soft flesh between her neck and shoulder with my teeth while I fucked her from behind.

She was perfect, draped in satin, and I wanted to fuck her up tonight.

I leaned on the balcony railing until we were a foot apart. Below us, the lodge staff moved about, getting things ready for the night. She glanced over the edge and bit her lip.

Then, she bent forward. I couldn’t lean in any further, but God—I’d do anything to just get a taste of her mouth.

Recklessly, I reached out, touching her chin and running my touch down her throat and up again. Heat shot through my arm and tingled down my spine. Her breasts heaved, and the outline of her nipples appeared.

Her heart had to be pounding. I could make out the pulse of a vein beneath my fingers. Our eyes locked together like magnets, and I couldn’t pull away.

Her chin dipped as she gently nuzzled her face into my palm.

Fuck me.

I was going to come in my pants from her touching my hand.

It was my turn to have a heart pounding out of control. Her lashes fluttered, those dreamy, dark irises flashing up at me. Then, she turned her head, and her soft lips touched my fingertips.

They parted. Hot breath seared my skin.

The soft wetness of her tongue enveloped my two fingers, pulling them in to the first knuckle. My vision flashed—I was having some kind of out of body experience, not unlike the one I’d had when I first touched my mouth to her pussy.

Her tongue was so soft as it wrapped around my fingertips. Her hand came up and encircled my wrist, keeping me still as she pushed them in a little further. Our eyes locked, and she started sucking them like she had my cock in her mouth—gentle, dipping her head, even pressure, using that sweet tongue up the underside of my fingers and curling it around the tips.

“Stop,” I managed.

She paused, blinking up at me.

“Unlock your fucking door,” I said, straightening.

She froze, breasts heaving. I stabbed out my cigarette and walked into the room, pulling the doors and curtain shut behind me. I turned the handle of the door between our suites, and it swung open. She stood on the other side, eyes huge.

I was sleeping with this woman tonight.

Fuck the mission, fuck everyone’s expectations. For one night, there was going to be nothing in the world but these two rooms and the door that connected them.

“Your bed or mine?” I said hoarsely.

“Yours.” Her voice was barely audible.

My hand snaked around her waist, and she gasped as I pulled her inside, slamming the door with my foot. Then, she was in my arms, her legs around my waist as I carried her across the floor and fell with her onto my bed.

Her hair pooled dark around her face. Her breasts heaved, the only sound our heavy breathing.

I ran my hand over her body, barely grazing her skin. She moaned softly, and her hips rose, working in a hungry gesture beneath me, begging me to get my tongue between her soft thighs.

“Are you on the pill?” I whispered, tangling my fingers in the silk.

She panted something I didn’t hear, but honestly, I wasn’t listening. I pulled aside her gown, exposing the most perfect breast I’d ever seen: full and teardrop shaped, big enough to rest comfortably in my hand.

Her skin was pale beige, green and blue veins spreading out like little rivers. I bent and flicked the tip of my tongue over her pink and brown nipple, tasting the floral bittersweetness of her body lotion. It left a little shimmer on her breast that mingled with the wetness left behind by my mouth.

God, she was so everything I wasn’t. That feral desire to dirty her up returned with a vengeance.

“What did you say?” I murmured, dazed.

“I said, I’m on the pill,” she moaned as I licked her nipple again.

“Just for tonight, we’re gonna pretend you’re not.”

I pulled the other side of her dressing gown, exposing her other breast, as perfect as the first. She gave a little whimper. I lowered my mouth and sucked in slow pulses, getting it hard with the tip of my tongue before grazing it with my teeth.

“What does that mean?” she whimpered, writhing with each flick of my tongue.

Her nails dug into my shoulders, raking down my chest. I didn’t bother to lift my head; I just kept licking and nipping her breast.

“It means I like pretending you’re not,” I murmured between bites.

“You like pretending you’re trying to get me pregnant?” she panted. Her hand came up and wound in my hair, nails piercing my scalp.

“Yeah, what’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem,” she moaned. “I just didn’t see that one coming.”

I sank my teeth into her soft flesh, and she yelped, her palm contacting my forehead, pushing my face off her breasts. Our eyes locked, and triumph flooded through my chest.

This was the same, demure woman who’d sat opposite me in the meeting room today, elegant shoulders straight, not a hair out of place.

Now, she was on her back, naked down to her navel, wet hair splayed on the bedspread, no makeup and dark eyes glittering with desire.

I shifted, getting on my hands and knees over her. Her gaze flicked over me, and she bit her lip hard.

“I’ve been tested,” I said.

“Maybe you should wear a condom anyway,” she whispered.

I reached down, tugging aside the rest of her clothes, leaving her body completely exposed from her teardrop breasts, down the line of her abdominals, to the little V where her thighs clenched to cover her pussy.

“Maybe I shouldn’t,” I said distractedly.

“Oh God,” she moaned softly. “You’re so hot when you’re horny.”

I bit back my laughter as her hips rose, seeking friction. I shifted lower, and her naked pussy pushed against the ridge of my cock. The only thing between us was the thin fabric of my sweatpants.

Recklessly, I reached down and shoved the waistband below my cock. She froze, and our eyes locked.

“Is it out?” she whispered.

It took everything I had not to laugh. She was nervous, I could see it in how she gnawed at her lower lip, biting it raw.

“You can look, butterfly,” I said softly.

She pushed herself up on her elbows, and her pink tongue flashed, wetting her mouth as her eyes stayed glued to mine.

“You know you want to,” I whispered. “Go on.”