23. Liam

For nearly a year, I”ve done my damnedest to shield Kate from the ugly realities of organized crime. As I think over all that she”s experienced—kidnapped more than once, her life threatened more than once—it”s clear that I suck at protecting her. But knowing that doesn’t stop me from wanting to protect her from the truth about her father. There should be one thing in her life that is untainted. Sure, she”s aware of the rumors swirling around her father, but not the details. To be honest, I”m not clear on the details, either. But I know a few things, and perhaps it”s time for me to stop trying to shield Kate from the truth.

For a moment, I study her sitting on the couch. She”s dressed casually in a pair of leggings and a large top that hangs down to her thighs, covering the small swell of her belly. Her hair hangs in long, damp, reddish-golden strands. Her expression is wary but doesn”t take away from her stunning beauty. I rub my hand over my heart where the pain of guilt and regret and unrequited feelings live.

With a sigh, I sit on the couch, not so close to her as to make her feel uncomfortable, but close enough that every neuron in my body can sense her, feeling her heat, inhaling her fresh, sweet scent.

”I don”t know the details on how your father got involved in organized crime. It”s not clear whether his first interactions were with Tiberius Abate or Giovanni Fiori.”

”Did they threaten him? Coerce him into helping them?”

I imagine that would make it easier to deal with her father’s action if he’d been forced. ”I don”t know for sure. It”s possible. What your father did for them was not so dissimilar to what I used to do for Niko. Mostly, sharing information in advance of what law enforcement might be planning, and maybe a little cleanup after something goes down.” I wonder if equating her father to me is more likely to cause her to hate her father as she hates me.

”Again, I”m not certain of the details, but what I believe happened was that somebody caught wind of your friendship with Elena Fiori. My money is on Lou Esposito. He was actually part of the Leone family, close to Donovan, but as it turned out, he was a traitor. I suspect he saw Elena when she went to one of Niko’s clubs and told Abate or Fiori.” I vacillate on whether or not to tell her the full details about how Elena had auctioned off her virginity and Niko had been the buyer. Were Kate and Elena good enough friends that she knew?

Kate looks down into her tea, and I suspect she knows something, if not everything.

“He either followed her or perhaps was asked to follow her when he reported the sighting at Niko’s club. That’s when they saw her with you.” I hope my expression and tone are gentle when I ask, “Were you helping Elena escape her family?”

Kate gives a small nod.

”Did you know she was a Mafia princess?”

She lets out a long sigh. ”No. But maybe I should”ve guessed it. I knew her father was highly controlling and was forcing her to marry somebody who was abusive.”

I desperately want to reach out and touch her, to feel the warmth of a woman with so much kindness in her that she risks so much to help Elena. I don”t because I have no right to touch her. Or perhaps it”s that I”m afraid of the way she will recoil from me.

”Why do you think it was that Lou person?” she asks.

I definitely don”t want to say this next bit, but I have no choice. ”I don’t know for sure. Lou is dead so I can’t ask him. But Elena Fiori was Giovanni”s golden goose. Especially after what happened to Lucy. But whereas Lucy was strong-willed and defiant, Elena was believed to be the perfect Mafia princess, groomed to be the perfect Mafia wife.”

”That”s sexist.”

I shrug. ”I”m not sure you”ve noticed, but the world we’re in is a patriarchy. I”ll be honest, Lucy is the first woman I”ve ever seen to have open leadership in the Mafia. There have been times when the Don of a family is in prison and his wife or daughter will take the helm, but everything she does is at the direction of the Don, even though he”s in prison.”

”Is the Bratva the same? Is that why you”re always ordering me around?”

I take a breath to think carefully about my next words. ”The leader needs to be decisive, controlling. There can”t be any room for doubt or question.”

Her lips press together in a grim line, and she looks at me with disdain.

”My interactions with you… When I”m at my worst, Kate, it”s because I”m scared shitless for you. It”s not that I don”t respect you or that I don”t care about your feelings, but you don”t know this world like I do. Sometimes, you need to do things or you die.” I don’t mean to put it quite so bluntly, but her eyes widen, and I hope she’s understanding how important her obedience is to her safety.

I edge out onto the emotional ledge a little further. ”I don”t mind being an asshole in general. Almost everything I do, I can do it with very little emotional regard. I imagine that”s why you hate me. But when it comes to you, I don”t want to be an asshole.”

She smirks. ”You just can”t help yourself, I guess?”

My teeth grind because it annoys me that she doesn”t recognize the difference. ”I”m not being an asshole right now. But if danger were to walk through the front door, I’d be the biggest asshole you’ve ever seen if that’s what it takes to keep you and your baby alive.”

Her lips fuse together, and she turns away. I get the feeling she’s holding back tears. Shit. What did I say?

”My baby,” she says.

I feel like I”m walking on a landmine. I keep my mouth shut.

She glares at me. ”You don”t believe this baby is yours too?”

”I know it”s mine.” Thinking of it makes the yearning in my chest expand. “But the only way that I can give you what you want most in the world—a regular life, one where you”re not looking over your shoulder and fearing for you and the baby—is that I can’t be in the picture.”

”You can just do that? Just detach your emotions?” She gives her head a little shake. ”Of course you can. You just told me so.”

I have an urge to give her a slight shake to make her understand that what I”m doing is the hardest thing I”ve ever done in my life. But I can”t.

I rise from the couch and pace, hoping to release the agitation coursing through my blood. ”I thought you’d be grateful that I’m not going to try and use my power and influence to take the baby. At the very least, be glad I’m not going to try to be in the baby’s life, bringing all the ugliness of my life into your world.”

Her expression appears torn, like she absolutely wants me out of her life and yet feels bad about it.

“I get it. You think I”m the worst person in the world. And you know what? That’s good because if you hate me, when this is over, you’ll stay away from me.” I look at her, my gaze searing into her, willing her to understand. ”But it’s ripping me apart.”

Immediately, I hate exposing so much of myself to her. I stalk into the kitchen wishing Robbie or Artyom would show up with the food and the booze.

Instead, I grab a glass of water and down it, taking a moment to get my shit together. When I return to the living area, Kate is still sitting on the couch. She is studying me in a way that suggests she’s reassessing the type of man I am. As much as I want that, I know that neither of us can afford for her to think or feel anything positive about me.

To move off the topic, I say, ”As far as your father goes. I believe he was tasked with making sure you stopped spending time with Elena.”

”Why would it matter? Her father found her money and locked her up until her wedding day.”

”Maybe Fiori wanted to know what Elena had told you. Or it was a test to see how loyal your father was.”

She looks down into her tea. When she finally looks up at me, she says, ”My father never asked me about my friendship with Elena.”

”I think that”s the point. He knew that he had to do something to protect you. He reached out to the FBI.”

Her eyes widen and then narrow to narrow, venomous slits. ”My father asked you for help?”

I shake my head. ”Not me. But I”m not the only agent who on occasion does favors. I have a contact there now who has been helping me track Babichev. It”s quite possible that your father has gone into Witness Protection, but?—”

”It”s more likely that he”s dead.”

I gave a single nod.

She takes a sip of her tea and then sits quietly. I imagine she’s filtering through everything we”ve talked about.

My phone beeps, and I”m grateful for the distraction. I look down and see a text from Artyom that he”s here with our supplies. I move toward the door and unholster my gun. Glancing through the peephole, I see Artyom coming up the path to the door.

I invite him in, keeping him in the foyer. As much as possible, I want to shelter Kate from the ugliness of my work.

”I got all the groceries you asked for. And at the bottom, there”s a few more reinforcements.” He’s referring to ammunition.

”Any word on Babichev?”

”The alarm at the bookstore went off. We couldn’t get there before the cops did, but with a little palm greasing, we were able to find something that tells us it was Babichev. It”s at the bottom of the bag as well.” Artyom looks toward the living room where Kate is still sitting on the couch. He glances up at me, leaning forward, and in a softer voice, he says, ”You”re not gonna want to let her see it.”

It”s funny how terror and rage can fire in an instant. But knowing Babichev left something related to Kate to fuck with me fills me with both. “Where is that motherfucker?”

”That Lucy Fiori, or I guess it”s Ricci, is all over it. Seeing as you’re friends, maybe you can reach out to them again. We’ve had men on the house, but no one has approached. We checked on the neighbors like you asked. They’re okay. Just regular dudes.”

He stares at me for a moment, and I can see there”s something he wants to say but is nervous to utter.

What?”

”Robbie and I are wondering if there”s somebody on the inside. Maybe loyal to Babichev. It doesn’t make sense why he can always find her or you, but we can’t find him.”

He has a point. It’s something I need to think seriously about. “Any thoughts?”

He shakes his head.

”If what you’re saying is true, then she’s in danger here, since my men know where I am.”

“Not everyone. You”ve kept things pretty close to the vest since you took her. Who doesn’t know you’re here?”

I can’t think of anyone off hand. It’s all hands on deck in finding Babichev, but only my closest men are here. “See what you can find out.”

He steps back and nods. ”We have the place surrounded, but everyone”s out of sight. Anyone coming through for picnics or campouts are unaware of us, but you can be damn sure we”re keeping an eye on them.”

I pat his shoulder and mentally make a note that he”s due for promotion. ”Thank you.”

He smiles. ”I have to say, Boss, I like working for you a whole hell of a lot better than Igor or that fucker Babichev.”

“That’s good news for me. Thank you, Artyom.”

When he leaves, I take the groceries into the kitchen. On the way, I note that Kate is no longer in the living room. When the kitchen is empty as well, I decide she’s gone to her room. This is a good opportunity to see whatever Babichev left in Kate”s bookstore, and then I’ll make her breakfast.

I put the groceries away and hide the ammunition in a cupboard I don’t think Kate can reach. Then I open the envelope, taking a breath before I pull out the thin slip of paper. At first, I can’t decipher the image. It’s mostly black with a roundish gray area. I read the words alongside the top, and the blood drains from me. Along the top left is Kate’s name. On the right is the name of a medical clinic. This is an ultrasound image.

“Fuck!”

Kate told me Babichev had seen her, knew she was pregnant. He’d somehow obtained a copy of her sonogram, and he left it for me as a threat.

I shove the paper into the envelope and hide it with the ammunition. Panic fills me as I have to consider Kate going missing could be more than just her retreating to her room. Especially if I have a traitor in my ranks.

“Kate!” I bellow as I head to her room. I reach her door, not bothering to knock or even use the knob. I bust it open. ”Kate!”

She startles from where she’d been lying on the bed. ”What”s wrong?”

Relief floods me. Any restraint to hold her that I had before is gone. I rush her, gathering her up, pulling her onto my lap, and wrapping her in my arms. At any moment now, she”s going to start yelling and punching. Until then, I”m going to hold her. I”m going to soak in her strength, her beauty. I”m going to savor the reality of her, of her life and vibrancy. And then I”m going to hunt down Babichev and I”m going to torture him until he”s begging for me to end his life.