9. Kate

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I’m wondering what I’m doing. Liam has given me multiple chances to make him leave. Why haven’t I done it?

He’s a liar. He’s a murderer. He’s a brute.

I shouldn’t believe him when he says he’s done everything to protect me.

At first, I didn’t.

But then, for a moment, I saw the man I knew.

The one who’d been comforting and supportive during some of my darkest hours. I saw a man tormented by who he saw himself as.

I saw Liam, and I wanted him as much as I’d wanted him before I’d known about the Bratva. And so, I’ve given in.

I have feelings for this man, but I have no illusion that he feels anything but lust and frustration for me. I can tell by the way he touches me.

Possessive. Dominant. Controlling.

But it doesn’t feel punitive. It’s more like he’s trying to force his protective will over me. And I’m just afraid of my life now, perhaps even insecure, so his attention is like a balm.

He thrusts in, and all the air whooshes from my lungs as he fills me.

“Fuck!” he barks out in anger. Then he stills, and I’m grateful for a moment to adjust to his size. I’m not a virgin, but neither have I had a lot of experience. “You’re bad for me.”

His words hurt me.

“And I’m bad for you. So bad.”

I want to respond, but I don’t know what to say.

“But heaven help me, I need to fuck you, Kate. I need it more than I need my next breath.”

I suppose that’s something. It does my ego good to think he’s desperate for me, unable to control himself around me.

He moves, in and out, and I’m a sensation heaven. Every nerve ending in my pussy is firing.

I pulse around him, and he groans. “Fuck, yes…”

I want to see him like this. Giving in to his need. Vulnerable to it. To me.

I push back. He sits back on his heels and pulls me up until I’m straddling his thighs. My weight over him pushes him deeper inside me.

His hands slide up and cup my breasts, tweak my nipples until I’m writhing in a combination of pain and pleasure.

“Liam.” One of his hands moves down my stomach to my apex. His finger flicks over my hard nub. Explosions go off everywhere. My pussy. My head. Every cell in my body. All of it ignites. I cry out as I wildly rock over him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Liam growls like a mantra. He pushes me off him, turning me onto my back as he grips my hips and slides inside me again. “Watch me fuck you, Kate.”

My body is still shuddering from the orgasm, but as he drives into me again, and again, and again, the sparks flicker until I’m gripping the sheets and holding on as another orgasm peaks.

“Yes… come on my cock… oh, fuck…” He throws his head back. The cords of his neck strain. Warmth floods my body. He’s so beautiful at that moment, so raw and real and powerful.

He collapses over me, and I wrap my arms around him like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like two lovers connected by more than sex.

For a moment, he lays there, catching his breath as I rub his back.

His head pops up and he frowns at me. “What are you doing?”

“I’m waiting until you catch your breath.”

“And then what?” He rolls off me and jerkily puts on his clothes.

I have no clue what he’s asking.

“This means nothing, Kate. Don’t go seeing roses and poetry.”

I see the man I don’t like. The one who is full of anger and hate and violence. I feel his words like little stabs in my heart.

But I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that. “No worries, Liam. I understand you’re more of a vodka and violent threats type of man.”

He glances at me, and I think he’s surprised, maybe even hurt by my words.

“I warned you?—”

“I’ve been duly punished.”

For a moment, his gaze holds mine, and I think I see the real him. I know he’s about to say something and it will make everything alright. But the darkness fills his eyes and he goes to the door.

“Follow the fucking rules, Kate. No more warnings.” And then he’s gone.

He said I’d never forget him if I let him touch me. He’s right. I won’t forget how good I felt for this one fleeting moment.

But he should have warned me of the regret.

I surrendered like he asked me too. I thought by doing so, I’d find the man he truly was. That he’d stop working so hard to be the cold, cruel man he thinks he needs to be.

I was wrong. And now I’m lying here naked, feeling like a fool. Feeling na?ve and vulnerable. What really hurts is that I’m feeling the way he wants me to. He intends to hurt me. To make me feel small. To make me bend to his will.

I shake my head at my stupidity. Why hadn’t Lucy come for me? If she had, I’d be gone and away from this torment. I realize now that she had to have told Liam I’d called.

It wasn”t a coincidence or a special situation that Liam had been with Niko and Donovan and Lucy when I was rescued from Giovanni Fiori. They work together.

They were likely together when I called her. And instead of helping me, Lucy told Liam.

I get out of bed and get in the shower, washing Liam off me. Is it na?veté or just stupidity that has me wanting a man like him? He says he”s doing all of this to protect me. And while on the one hand, he hasn”t done anything to suggest he wants to hurt me, at least physically, I can”t deny that I am once again a prisoner.

Why didn”t Lucy come to get me? Why didn”t she tell me she wouldn”t be coming?

Indignation fills me with how poorly the people I have come to care about and trust are treating me. I exit the shower and throw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. It’s late, and I should be going to bed, but the last thing I want is to be in my pajamas when I see Liam again. I slip on a pair of sneakers because I can’t find my slippers, and I open the door to my bedroom, intending to talk to Liam. I note that his bedroom door is open and so I charge down the hall, needing to feel in control of my life even as I know I have none.

I push the door open and walk into his room ready for a fight, but I don”t see him. I”m about to leave when a door opens and Liam emerges wearing a plush robe as he runs a towel through his hair. He stops short when he sees me.

There”s a split second when he looks at me with something other than annoyance or anger. I feel like it’s longing, but that’s stupid, especially since the expression is quickly replaced with a scowl.

”Something wrong?” His eyes scan me. “You don’t have your knife, so I guess you’re not here to kill me.”

I cross my arms over my chest and hold my chin up high even though I know the show of defiance and strength is only an illusion. ”Why didn”t Lucy come for me?”

He shrugs as he tosses his towel into a laundry hamper. ”I told her I”d take care of it.”

”Except that you’re the problem I need taken care of. I want to talk to her. I want her to tell me why she let you handle it. Why would she willingly hand me over to you?”

He presses his hands on his hips as he stares at me. ”She didn”t hand you over to me. You”re here because of me. I”m the one who’s in control of this, and she and everyone else knows it.”

”And they wouldn”t dare go against you, I guess.”

”It”s more a matter of how they respect me. And unlike you, they understand what I”m trying to do.”

”I want to hear it from her.”

He walks over to his dresser, picking up his phone and tossing it to me. ”Go ahead. Call her.”

That feels a little too easy, but I clutch the phone in my hands as I turn to leave his room.

”You can call her here.”

Ugh. ”What if I want to talk to her privately?”

”You talk to her in front of me or not at all. You don”t have to worry about what I might hear. I know you don”t have anything nice to say about me.”

I stare at him, wishing I could come up with words that would change this whole situation, but I know there are none. So, I dial Lucy”s number.

”Kate?”

”I”m sorry to call so late, but I”m wondering where you are and if you”re coming to get me.” I know she”s not. And perhaps it”s petty to act like I”m still hoping that she”ll be here so that she”ll feel guilty for abandoning me to Liam.

She lets out a sigh. ”I”m sorry, Kate, but right now, being with Liam, under his protection, is where you need to be. He knows better than anyone what you”re up against.”

I glanced over at him, wishing the death stare I”m sending his way would turn him into a pile of ash. ”I don”t see why you and Donovan can’t protect me.”

”Like I said, Liam has a better grasp on what is going on. He knows the players personally and what they”re capable of.”

”He”s keeping me prisoner here.” I try to ignore the fact that Liam has just dropped his towel and is completely naked.

He’s the perfect specimen of man.

Too bad his personality is so ugly. Even so, my hormones betray me by firing up at the vision of the strong, sexy man. I turn away as he steps into boxer briefs.

”It wouldn”t be any different if you were with us. Right now, the only way for you to be safe is to stay hidden. I know it”s not fun. Both Elena and I have been locked up in gilded cages, and we know that it”s frustrating. But it”s only temporary. Liam is going to deal with the danger in your life?—”

”By deal, you mean murder, right?”

She sighs, and I imagine she’s also rolling her eyes. ”In this business, Kate, the only way to ensure that you can live and go back to your normal life is to eliminate the people who are trying to kill you. So yes, murder will be involved. I know this is not something that you signed up for, and I”m sorry for all that you”ve had to endure, but if you”re going to come out the other end and have a normal life outside of all of this, you have to stay with Liam. Do what he says. Trust him.”

It’s not what I want to hear, and yet, I’m not surprised I’m hearing it. This call was a waste of time, as I knew it would be. But I had to hear it from her. ”How long?”

Liam is finally dressed in jeans and a Henley shirt. I wonder if he’s going out again.

”The best person to ask that question is Liam. You’ll be fine, Kate. Liam is extremely invested in your safety. In fact, I would argue that your safety is the only thing that matters to him. It’s why he’s doing all this.”

”I know that”s not true. He likes the power and control.”

She laughs. ”Liam cares about that only insofar as he needs to protect you and help you resume a normal life. I don’t think Liam liked having to leave the FBI.”

“Then why did he? It’s not like he wasn’t working for you.”

“I told you. He did it for you.”

I glance over at him again, but he’s in the bathroom. I want to believe her. Liam has said something similar, but I can’t reconcile the idea that he’s doing all this for me when he acts like such a brute.

“I think he’s in love with you, although?—”

“That’s definitely not true.”

“Regardless. Liam’s intentions are good. Do as he says and you’ll be safe. It won’t be long and you’ll be living a normal, regular life.”

We finish the call, and I toss the phone on Liam’s bed, ready to return to my room.

“Satisfied?”

I turn to see him standing in the bathroom doorway. Lucy’s words come back to me.

I think he’s in love with you.

Staring at the man with the dark, unyielding eyes, I can’t see it. Her statement makes no sense. Sure, he had sex with me, but the way he touched me wasn’t about love. Lust, maybe. But mostly, it was about domination. After all, he told me to submit to him. Like an idiot, I did.

“No, but I see I have no choice,” I answer him.

He shrugs. “If you want to live, then no. You have no choice.”

The words send a chill up my spine. I hate the situation I’m in, but I haven’t fully considered what he and Lucy have both said. Someone is after me. Liam is stopping them.

Maybe it’s time I follow Liam’s rules. Perhaps by doing so, Liam will deal with whatever threat is out there and then I can be free. Free of violence and the male ego. Free of Liam.

The sooner that happens, the sooner I can put all this behind me. Maybe I won’t forget him, but the memories will fade. I can find a life filled with joy and pleasure and security that will dull the memories of Liam.

My heart pinches at the thought, but my mind knows it’s for the best.