Chapter 44

Elanor

Asteady burn spreads through my thighs as I stretch, a silent confirmation of my poor condition.

We left Nyths four weeks ago, but my reflexes are still slowed by my weakened muscles.

I need my strength back if I’m to stand a chance against Airdan, so I hold the pose until my muscles feel like they’re going to snap.

Standing, I embrace the sting lingering in my body as my muscles awaken.

Nearby, Azran rolls his shoulders and warms up in silence, his breathing perfectly regular. I can’t help but stare as his shirt collar falls open with his movements, revealing his chiseled chest.

Following his address to the army, Az has spent all his time in the palace, working alongside Cal and our captains to prepare for Airdan’s attack. We barely get any alone time, unless our training sessions count. We both need to get back into shape and quickly. War won’t wait much longer.

A magnetic pull radiates from Nahtar, still in its sheath against the wall of the training center next to Azran’s weapon. My sword whispers my name, seeking me out, and like an itch under my skin, I’m dying to answer its call.

Closing the distance in a few steps, I reach for Nahtar.

A breeze warns me and I turn swiftly, my hand tightly wrapped around the hilt of my sword.

Azran’s blade comes straight at me and I parry before it crashes into my nose.

My eyes narrow and I bite back a snarky comment. Azran’s lordly behavior is back, his posture rigid and expression clouded.

“All right. Let’s fucking do this,” I say as I take position in front of him, an idea forming.

Azran nods, still not uttering a single word. He waits for me to launch an attack.

If the High Lord is back, then he’s in for a lesson too.

Staying perfectly still, I wait for the first sign of his impatience. When his eye twitches and the line between his brows deepens, a smile stretches across my mouth.

“Come on, say it.” I tilt my head in encouragement. “Give it a try.”

A wave of exasperation washes over his face and his fingers drum on the handle of his two-bladed sword. I scan the bond for confirmation, but I am only met with calm and a hint of amusement.

“It’s not that hard. Seven letters.”

I mouth the curse word silently, exaggerating the two syllables, and he chuckles in response, letting go of the irritated facade.

“Come on, Ela.” Azran waves his weapon. “Make your move.”

“Not until you say it. I need a little encouragement.”

“Since when have you needed encouragement to fight?” Azran asks, his pointed stare conveying his skepticism.

“Since I’ve decided we’re not leaving Averion until I hear you swear.”

He sighs and begins pacing around me.

Swinging Nahtar around, I follow his steps, moving with him as he becomes the predator and I the prey. His hesitation seeps down the bond, telling me he won’t go for it, but I won’t relent.

The words reach my ears a split second before I dive out of reach, one of his blades missing my head by an inch.

“Let’s fucking do this.”

A snicker escapes my lips as I turn and raise Nahtar. Pride flares in my heart when he wiggles his brows to taunt me, crimson decorating the corners of his irises. I love this side of him.

The swords screech against each other in a violent clash, my parry stopping Azran’s swing cold. He shoves me, forcing me off balance as he sweeps his weapon towards my knees.

I lunge to the side to put some distance between us, but Azran doesn’t give me respite. Coming down with an overhead strike, I barely deflect in time, the impact reverberating through my elbows. I’d forgotten how strong he is.

A grin appears on his handsome face and rage fills my lungs instantly, daring me to let out a growl and unleash my power.

Resisting, I focus on moving faster. I can defeat him without the lethal energy.

The years of training slowly return to me, the memory in my muscles strengthening my defense until I move onto offence. Aiming at his side, I shift my balance and strike at his shoulder.

A victorious snarl tears from my lips when the tip of my blade finds its target, drawing blood.

Half an hour later, I’m sweating profusely as we meet each other fiercely.

My legs are trembling and a stitch is flaring in my side, but neither of us will yield. I can’t even put into words how much I love that about him. He never underestimates me, never tries to make it easier for me, forever my equal in this life.

Another of his strikes hits my back and I stumble forward, almost dropping Nahtar. I recover at the last second, spinning with a growl in my throat.

Azran lowers his weapon, a bead of sweat trickling down his neck.

I cock a brow in question and he nods before sagging heavily against a wall. We’re both heaving, and neither of us have it in us to utter the words to conclude our training session.

“Fuck,” I let out, out of breath. My lungs are on fire.

I let go of Nahtar and sit on the floor, too exhausted to stand.

“Your elbow.” I lift my head to face Azran, waiting for him to explain. “You drop it. It weakens your blow.”

I nod, taking his advice. It would be reckless not to.

Azran reaches for the waterskin he brought and hands it to me, his two-bladed sword still in his other hand.

“Does it have a name?” I ask, before taking a sip of water and handing it back.

He follows my gaze before answering.

“Dagrassaeb.”

“That’s a mouthful.”

A twinkle of amusement shines in his hazel eyes.

“What does it mean?”

“Deathbringer.”

“Fitting,” I say with a dark chuckle, a lump forming in my throat.

Just like that, the fears that had retreated to a deep corner of my mind flood my system again, bringing doubt with them.

“What is it?” he asks, putting Dagrassaeb and the waterskin down.

Damn bond. There’s no hiding anything from him anymore, but I can’t tell him what I recently started to suspect. It would break his spirit like it’s starting to shatter mine.

Ever since Adria, I’ve grown closer to Death, though I can’t explain how.

It started as a ripple in my power, like a drop in the sea tainting the water. My power is changing. I’m becoming stronger, and as I do, Death’s call is getting louder. She’s calling me to her, calling me home.

The spirit world feels but an inch from my grasp. Savage’s soul is an almost constant presence in my mind as Death’s hold on me deepens.

I think I’m running out of time.

“How will we defeat Airdan?” I blurt out, needing to say something, anything, to escape the thoughts storming in my head. “His wards against our powers are strong.”

Azran’s shoulder sag.

“We will find a way.”

“We don’t know how much power he’s managed to harness from either of us.”

“You’re right, we don’t.”

“I’m scared,” I whisper, only able to offer a partial truth.

Azran extends his arm towards me and I put my hand in his.

“Me too,” he says as he pulls me to him.

I wrap my arm around his middle, and his hand strokes my back.

“I’ve never seen you scared.”

“I was never afraid to step into battle before. I’ve got too much to lose, now, and too much to look forward to.”

I nod as tears well in my eyes. Vesta’s warning against the bond comes back to me. Only now do I fully understand what she meant. Being in Azran’s arms is the most at peace I’ve ever felt, and yet I’ve never felt more at war with myself or the world.

Azran pulls me closer, wrapping his other arm around me and holding me tight.

“So, we’re going to find a way, just like we did with Braern.”

“Damn right,” I say.

“Braern used a medallion to wield power. Airdan, the collars. These artifacts anchor magic. We just have to find Airdan’s and destroy it.”

A sliver of hope forms in my heart but I crush it instantly, having learned never to trust its dangerous attraction. Still his words reverberate, kindling forbidden sparks against my will.

“I have big plans for you and I,” Azran whispers against my forehead before depositing a soft kiss. “Does that frighten you?”

“No,” I say at once, my voice hard and determined. “I want you. I want us.”

I lock my own dreams in an iron chest deep in my heart. I want to live. I want to see another sunrise, and another, and another until I can paint the rising sun with my eyes closed. And I want to do it all with him at my side.

“When this is over, I will take you to the most beautiful places on this earth.” His voice breaks, but he doesn’t stop. “I want to see the look on your face when you gaze upon frozen lakes, falling stars, and colors exploding in the sky.” I press my lips together as salty tears roll down my face. “I will bring you to where it all began, on the highest Blue Mountain peak where fate brought us together.”

He brushes his finger against my back as I nod weakly, clinging silently to this living vision he paints in tender strokes.

“Will you take me to Morilanthe?” I ask. “I want to see where you grew up.”

“That, too.”

His eyes sparkle like a thousand stars, filled with his promises and dreams for us. I don’t have the heart to tear it all down.

“I need you to know,” I whispered against his lips, “I am darkness and light, and every piece of me belongs to you.”

Sleep evades me, and I find myself wandering the palace halls. War is calling, its threat looming over our heads. With each day that passes, the knot in my chest tightens.

I roam the corridors of my home aimlessly, heels indenting plush runners before meeting unyielding marble at regular intervals. My eyes glaze over ornate frames and canvases as flickering torchlight plays vainly across the paint.

My steps lead me to the library and I peer past the entrance as memories flash before my eyes, memories from another time. This room witnessed the first threads of my life’s unraveling and its tomes held the secrets of my childhood, revealing how my father used to walk these halls too, alongside my mother. My throat tightens. When water fills the corner of my eyes, I screw them shut.

Turning on my heels, I resume my stroll through the palace, memorizing the feel of each step, the smell of burning candles, and the quiet of the night.

Before long, tears roll down my cheeks unchecked. I’ve been running away from myself for so long, staying focused on what awaits me, that I never really took the time to appreciate what I’ve been granted. A life of heartbreak and truth, of sorrow and bliss, of vulnerability and strength. I no longer live a lie, cloaked in my own rage, constantly alert, fighting the world and myself.

I tighten Azran’s shirt around me as I step onto one of the balconies overlooking Averion. A cool breeze greets me, leaving the salty trails on my cheeks burning and sending strands of hair flying around my face.

“Thank you,” I whisper to the night.

The stone shocks the sole of my feet with each step, its sharp bite keeping my dark thoughts at bay, grounding me.

“Thank you for guiding me home,” I rasp as my voice breaks. “Thank you for letting me experience a love I never thought I deserved.”

Fresh tears reach my trembling lips as I take a deep breath, letting crisp air fill my lungs, though it does little to alleviate the pain in my chest.

My power flickers inside me, slowly flooding my veins until darkness swallows the fear and the bite of the wind is relegated to a distant memory.

I allow myself to drown in darkness until I’m one in Death, until my vision blurs, until the world disappears and the only sensation left in my body is my heart pulsing in my ears, and revenge twisting in my gut.

Souls will soon be called back to my realm. In their thousands, I will collect the lives of those whose time has come.

Warmth returns to my body as fire spreads to my fingertips, and I release the hold on my power to enter the palace.

Retracing my steps back to Azran’s room, our room, I slip inside without a sound.

I find Azran where I left him, his body tangled in the bedsheets, his breathing regular.

Moonlight streams through the glass panels behind the bed, highlighting his relaxed features. My heart expands in my chest, striving to escape its carnal envelope and burst. I never knew a love like ours was possible; unconditional, boundless, and absolute. The kind of love only gods could grant.

After undressing, I ease slowly onto the mattress, tucking my elbow beneath my head before nestling against Azran’s warm body. With the touch of his skin, the rest of the world disappears, and I find safety.

I slip my hand around his waist to caress his side, slowly dragging my fingers across his body. Leaning my head against his rising chest, I drag my nose along his neck, depositing soft kisses against his warm skin and breathing in the scent of home.

His arm wraps around me, pulling me closer.

“Leaving me for another already, little one?”

His sleepy voice murmurs down the bond, piercing through the anguish lingering in my heart, and a smile tugs my lips.

“Exploring my options,“I answer before grabbing the skin of his neck between my teeth and biting gently.

A low growl vibrates in his throat, so I add, “I’ll always come back for you.”

His eyes flutter open as his hand goes to the side of my face to tilt my head up.

“And I, for you.”

His lips find mine, pressing against my mouth, sealing our vows.