Chapter 37

Azran

We drive our mount relentlessly through the night, with no glance spared for the shadowed city fast disappearing past the horizon.

We have to put as much distance as we can between Airdan and us before we can even consider stopping. Only then will I let my abused body’s agony catch up with us.

Ela bends low over the neck of the stallion as the jolts from hard riding exacerbate our sore bodies, but we keep going, determination blazing bright in our hearts.

Ryfa awaits at the end of a two days’ ride west, but it will probably take us closer to three since we’ll have to lay low during the day. Airdan will no doubt send units after us the moment he finds out that we escaped his grasp, and night will provide better cover to avoid detection. We can only hope Amrynn buys us a little more time and finds a way to save herself.

As our horse thunders through the moonlit plains, the tall grass ripples like ocean waves as far as the eye travels, except for the occasional trees interrupting the flat expanse. The rolling grassland around us gives the illusion of freedom and possibilities of a life together, almost within our grasp.

Gradually, the achromatic canvas turns cobalt with the first hopeful rays of dawn creeping tentatively over the distant horizon. As we crest a hill, the emerging sun caps each grass stalk in gold, transforming the prairie into a glittering sea of riches. Rosy hues appear across the cloud-streaked sky until the fiery orb breaches fully over the plains, bathing the grass ripples red and orange.

With daylight, I finally slow our horse, its sides heaving and head drooping in exhaustion. We slide stiffly to the ground and I turn slow circles.

The horse’s labored breathing interrupts my reverie, its endurance tested to extremes by the night crossing. My own lingering injuries pulse hotly now that we’ve stopped. We all need rest before we can continue this desperate run from Airdan.

I scan the horizon, the sea of grass offering little cover from sharp-eyed pursuers, until a small copse of trees a quarter-mile away catches my eyes.

Ela follows my gaze and nods, weariness bowing her small frame as well.

We lead the stumbling horse towards the distant oaks, and when we reach their cover, Ela slides down against a broad trunk while I tie the horse a few feet away.

She undoes the straps of her blood-soaked armor before tossing it behind a bush.

“How are you feeling, little one?”

“Like I’ve been run over by a horde of darkclaws.”

“You know darkclaws are solitary beasts. They don’t travel in packs.”

My heart tightens when her chuckle reaches my ears.

Digging into the saddle bags, I find water and some meager provisions.

“Thank the gods,” Ela blurts out when I extend the waterskin in her direction.

I let her drink her fill before helping myself and reserving some for our mount.

“I can’t believe we made it out,” Ela says, sagging against her tree. “Were it not for Amrynn… Do you think she’s still alive?”

“I hope so. She’s more resourceful than most,” I answer. “Get some rest, I’ll keep watch.”

She resists for a solid ten seconds before her eyelids lose that fight.

I scout the area briefly while keeping an eye on her. I take position a few feet away, my weapon in hand. We’re at a disadvantage. Airdan’s soldiers know these hills better than we do, and in daylight we’d be way too exposed to travel.

I grip my two-bladed sword a little tighter and retreat to the shadowy cover of the trees when riders appear on the horizon, too far to detect us.

When the danger passes, I make quick work of some of the rations in the captain’s bags and leave a portion out for Ela. For now, her chest rises and falls regularly, and I’m left to my thoughts.

I had little faith in Cal’s plan, but maybe it wasn’t so crazy after all. We’ve always set out for the impossible and somehow come through. I’ll make sure the next few days are no different. We’re getting on that boat to Lóna.

My gaze inevitably returns to Ela as my heart calls to her, and regret opens a pit in my stomach. There’s so much she doesn’t know about me and so much I want to share with her still.

I make several rounds throughout the morning to keep an eye on our surroundings, which helps me stay alert despite the exhaustion weighing down my every step.

Ela stirs around midday, a little less pale than before. Her eyes flutter open, revealing that resolve I’ve grown to love more than anything else in this world.

“Hello, little one,” I greet through the bond as she stands.

“Your turn.” She points to the spot she just left by the tree trunk. “I’ll keep watch.”

A smile tugs my lips, matching the one blooming on her beautiful face as she approaches me, scanning my features.

I meet her in a couple of steps and she stops me, her hands going to my chest, gripping the fabric of my shirt and pulling me close. Her lips meet mine softly, her touch gentle and intentional, taking my breath away.

I revel in this side of her I rarely got to see until now. Her protective walls have vanished and she’s showing me her tender side I always longed for.

“Black and white,” I say as she pulls away.

“What?” She cocks an eyebrow.

“My favorite colors.”

She eyes me sideways, but her sparking eyes betray her piqued curiosity.

“I want you to know everything about me. I want us to have more to ourselves than scars and horrifying memories.”

“I want that too.”

She motions for me to continue with a wave of her hand.

“White was my mother’s favorite color.”

Her eyes widen at my words. “The gardens in Averion. They’re for her?”

I nod, suddenly finding this exercise a little less comfortable.

“Do you remember the necklace I gave you?”

“It was hers?” she asks with a wince.

I nod with a chuckle. I didn’t get to watch her throw it out of a window, but I’m sure she remembers that day well.

“I’m so sorry, Az. I had no idea.”

“You had every right.” I give her a small smile before straightening my back. “I know what it feels like to grow up without a mother, so I know what I took from you.”

My heart pounds in my ears and panic twists my gut as I wait for her to say something.

“I know nothing will bring her back, but I swear on my life that if I could I would, Ela. I am so terribly sorry.”

Her eyes lose their playful glimmer, but I don’t utter another word, letting her silence eat at me.

I’m walking the edge of a precipice, waiting for her to push me, because I will let her. I’m hers to do whatever she wants with.

She steps away, hands forming fists, and I keep my gaze on her face, refusing to look away as she releases her hate on me. If hitting me is what she needs, I won’t stop her.

It’s not forgiveness I seek. I know I’m not deserving of it. I merely hope she finds a way to live with herself in my presence. If being around her causes her any further harm, I will rid this earth of my curse.

Warmth finds my cheeks, but instead of a slap, her hands cup my face.

“I believe you.”

She deposits a soft kiss on my lips moments later, and relief floods my veins. Before I can utter a word, she snuggles against my chest and wraps her arms around my back. My heart is on the verge of imploding.

I gather her in my arms, unable to wrap my head around the possibility of a life together she’s just offered me.

“Tell me about your mother.”

Her voice barely rises above a whisper, but it carries no hurt and the bond echoes in confirmation.

“She died giving birth to me.” My head rests on hers. “All I know of her, I’ve learned from stolen glimpses of her room when my father forgot to lock it.”

“I’m sorry, I had no idea,” she says, her hand rubbing my back in circles.

“I lost both parents that day. My father resented my existence from the moment I took my first breath, and he spent the rest of his life making sure I knew it.” Her hand freezes in place but I continue, ready to bare myself before her. “I spent weeks in dark caves under the Moon Palace, shackled, bloodied, in my own filth, licking the paving stones for drops of water. All to make me stronger, he would say, but it was merely retribution for killing my own mother.”

“How old were—”

“It started when I could walk,” I answer bluntly.

A gasp tears from her throat.

“It’s all right, little one. I survived.”

“Would no one help you?”

“No one would dare challenge the Lord of Morilanthe.” I exhale slowly. “A group of older Fae cornered me one day and pushed me off a tower. I laid on the ground, my body broken, barely breathing, too badly hurt to call for help but not badly enough to die, until finally a servant found me. My father did nothing. After that, I learned to fend for myself.”

“How did you not burn the place to the ground?” Ela asks, her voice trembling with furor.

“As long as my father lived, there was nothing I could do, so I left for war as soon as I could wield a sword. And after he died, I didn’t see the point anymore. I had found purpose and the world was rid of him.”

“What about Amrynn?”

A sad smile tugs my lips.

“She saw me that day, at the foot of the tower. Shame and guilt filled her eyes when she walked away, refusing to meet my gaze.” A growl reverberates against my chest as Ela voices her disapproval. “My uncle was a cruel man. She dealt with her share of horrors.”

“She went through the same shit as you, and instead of sticking together, she turned a blind eye?”

“Betrayal was the only way she found to survive. Never trust, never rely on anyone, never settle down. She has loyalty for no one but herself, or so I thought.”

Ela’s rage erupts through the bond, teasing my own.

“I learned that love was painful and hate was a consequence for my shortcomings.”

Tears pool in her darkening eyes as her anger fuels her power.

“I cannot wait to show you how wrong they were.”

“You already have, little one.”

My words smother her rage instantly and her lips find mine, sending the awful memories into oblivion. Each kiss fills the cracks in my soul and with each of her touches, hope returns.

“Thank you for telling me,” she whispers against my mouth.

“What else would you like to know? Ask, and I will tell you.”

“Nothing.” She deposits a quick peck on my lips and releases me. “Get some rest.”

Sleep takes me the moment my head hits the bed of grass until Ela wakes me up at nightfall.

We get back on the horse and ride through the night, eluding patrols scouting the area. We’re forced to pause several times and find cover, but by dawn we’ve made good progress.

We stop at the top of a hill behind large bushes and I take first watch as Ela falls into a deep slumber. Our Fae bodies heal with each hour that passes, but there is no repairing the invisible damage we both suffered.