Chapter 3

Elanor

Crushed leaves under my boots mute the sound of my steps on wet soil as I progress through the forest, a bow in hand. I scan the grounds just like my father taught me, but find no sign of the deer I’m hunting. I must have missed a turn and lost its trail.

I stop as the cool wind brushes my face. I have no idea how long I’ve been out there, but my body is strangely relaxed, with not a single bead of sweat rolling down my back.

Branches rustle ahead of me and a massive black wolf emerges from a bush, its white eyes focused on me. The menacing beast advances on me, but I remain still. Fear has no grasp on me here.

The wolf stops with its muzzle inches from my waist and lowers its head against my thighs. My fingers instinctively go to its fur, finding it warm and soft, and my heart sings in response.

“Savage.”

His head bops against my legs and both my arms wrap around his neck. A cord vibrates in my core, and it takes me a moment to recognize the wave of emotion blooming inside me.

“I missed you.”

I take a deep breath in as I brush Savage’s fur, soaking in all the memories trickling back in. From how we met in these woods, our walks in Averion’s garden under his watchful gaze, to his last moments he spent shielding me from a blast. My guardian is with me again.

My heart sinks as the dam to my emotions cracks open, revealing a void where a thread of light connecting me to another being used to be. Once vibrant with energy, the sacred filament rests lifeless inside me, its sparkle dulled and its core blackened.

The chirp of birds and buzz of insects stir me from the past, leaving me with the comforting song of nature I’ve grown accustomed to over the years. The slow decay of time hardly affects the Dark Forest, leaving its grounds untouched, almost as if sacred.

My gaze falls on a bush of wild berries and a chill courses through my body. I can’t remember the last time I felt hunger twisting in my stomach, though it’s been a dear companion throughout the years I dwelled in these parts of the world. She’s always walked with me everywhere I went, but not today.

My brows draw together at the anomaly. I can’t place the last time I ate, and yet, I’m feeling perfectly rested and energized.

Another chirp sounds nearby and I scan the forest for its origin, coming up empty. I’m surrounded by mossy trees, full branches and weeds running wild, but no animal lingers near.

A bird responds with a tune, too fast for me to locate it, and I close my eyes.

Focusing on the melodies around me, I count the seconds until a chirp sounds again, followed by a note drowned in the windy hum of branches and buzz of smaller inhabitants of the forest.

One. Two. Three.

Breathing in the forest’s scent, my body relaxes as my mind wanders.

Four. Five. Six.

My eyes snap open when I recognize the same melody for the third time.

Once-dulled leaves shine feverishly under the sunlight as branches bow with strange periodicity. The wind brushes my face again, unnaturally warm, and unease curls at the base of my spine.

My feet instinctively dart over knobby roots until I break into a run when the hair rises on my arms.

I storm towards the shack as Savage follows, needing to shake the feeling clawing at the back of my neck. It’s probably nothing, I just need to go home.

As the thought crosses my mind, my vision blurs and a ripple echoes in the perfect image of nature around me, turning the trees into wraiths.

“Keep running,” I whisper to myself. “Father will know what to do.”

Angst stirs in my gut as I push myself further. I focus on putting my foot down, step after step, until the treacherous feeling retreats.

But little by little, doubt creeps back into my heart as blurred images overlay in front of my eyes.

Hints of gold and red armor glint under the sun before evaporating. Crimson irises stare back at me from the shadows before disappearing behind a tree trunk. Phantom-warriors track my steps with menacing gazes.

The shock of each step in my legs recedes to a distant murmur before disappearing completely. My eyes relay each stride I make, yet no impact registers up my nerves as I keep running, weightless.

I stop dead in my tracks, and sensations return to my body. The soles of my boots dig into wet soil, but my breathing remains regular and no ache lingers in the muscles of my thighs.

Savage stills by my side, resting his head against my hip as I glance around. The same trees greet me, the branches bending regularly, letting a soft light in.

My fingers curl in my palm when realization dawns on me. I should have reached our shack already.

My nails dig into the skin where my bow should be, and my blood freezes. My narrowed gaze rakes the landscape, finding no trace of the weapon. Maybe I dropped it during the run.

Dread sinks its claws in deeper as the assumption echoes hollowly in my mind, exposing the lie.

My brows draw closer together and a familiar presence looms in my back, confirming I’m no longer alone.

A hooded silhouette is standing a few feet away from me, their face hidden by dark cloth. But I don’t need to step closer to identify its owner.

As I stare into the abyss replacing her face, I remember we’ve met before, in Adria. And with that thought, I know I’m not in the living world anymore.

A wave of energy hits me, shaking me to my core and undoing the illusion. I left Lóna long ago. My family’s shack doesn’t really exist here, my father is gone, and so is Savage.

Faces pop into my mind, familiar enough to shake my sense of calm, but not clear enough for me to place them. With only a vague grasp on reality, I realize I’ve wandered deep into the spirits’ realm.

“Am I dead?” My voice breaks the astounding silence around us, each word reverberating in the trees.

“Part of you always has been and always will be,” the dark figure says, still as stone. “But that’s not what you want to know, dear.” Her head tilts to the side. “You can still go back.”

Each word lifts a veil over my mind, reminding me of who I truly am—Death’s instrument.

My vision clouds and faded images take form in front of me. Scenes of people dancing in a castle meld with the forest background. Onyx and white flowers fill a familiar garden.

Warmth comes over me as I remember walking the streets of Averion and wandering in the palace halls. Beloved faces reform before my mind’s eye—Vesta training in the garrison with the twins, Calen’s grin widening as he watches, and…

Azran.

His face appears strikingly clear, his flaming-red gaze fixed on some point behind me, and a tidal wave hits me, crashing against a wall tightly built around my heart.

Pain flares in my chest under the assault, but the force recedes as quickly as it appeared, unable to tear down the barrier inside me.

“You would let me go back?” I blink, and the scene changes.

A marshy land, fighting soldiers wearing gold and red armor, their faces coated in blood and ashes, and a storm of fire. I step back, putting my hands up in a pointless attempt to shield myself as the images fade.

“The decision doesn’t belong to me.”

My gaze lands on Savage by my side and pain twists in my gut.

“What awaits me if I do?”

The words sound foreign on my lips, distant.

Death tilts her faceless head to the side again, and somehow I know her smile widens under the hood.

I blink again, willing the familiar faces and memories to come back, in vain, as I stand alone in the forest.

A storm forms inside me, but it’s quickly weathered, and I’m left numb once more, wondering what Death meant, though she left me with one certainty.

A piece of me remains with her. Made from the same mold, I am hers as she is mine, and we are both fated to never feel whole until reunited.

Sitting on the hard ground, I absently caress Savage’s warm fur. I’m at a crossroads, my past and future hidden from me.

I can’t place it, but something is telling me to go and leave the spirit world. Half of me belongs here, but the other half is stuck in Lóna, anchored in the living world.

My chest tightens at the thought, and another question pops into my mind. Why leave? Why not stay here, where time is suspended and reality is what I make of it? Here I am safe, free of pain, away from the horrors I’ve had to endure all my life.

Numbness retreats and cedes ground to a sharp sting, polluting the peaceful state of my home. Something is missing, or someone. Azran’s face appears in my mind like a confirmation, and even the sense of safety that lived in me here fades away. This doesn’t feel like home anymore. Not without him.

I stand and pace the clearing, Savage watching me silently. With each step, the web of illusion retreats, and reality finds me. I remember everything. I remember everyone. I remember the life I left and could go back to.

But I also remember the pain, sacrifices, and suffering.

Why go back when I’ve already played my part? After all, I fulfilled the prophecy and defeated Braern. I could wait for them to join me here, where I don’t have to endure life’s ordeals, with Savage by my side.

Maybe I’ll stay a little longer, while I consider my options. Maybe I could find my parents here. Maybe I could see them before going back.

I kick a dried branch out of my way with a huff, the brittle wood splintering satisfyingly under my boot, though it does little to blunt the sharp edge of my restlessness.

I’ve been pacing the forest every minute of every day, with Savage by my side, coming up empty. All too aware of the illusion around me, I remain powerless. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t leave this place. I’m lost, torn between the memories of those I left behind and the uncertainty of my future.

I don’t know how long I’ve been in the spirit world nor how many times Death found her way to me, but I’m growing really fucking tired of her games.

I’m crossing a clearing when her presence looms behind me.

Looks like I’m due for another visit.

I slowly turn, a rigid smile plastered on my lips.

“You’ve been wandering here a while,” the faceless shape says.

I inhale deeply to bite back a snarky comment. I genuinely don’t know whether she hopes I’ll stay or go. All I know for certain is I’m losing myself in this realm, any control over my fate gone as I remain here, unable to make a decision.

“What should I do?” I ask as Savage sits by my feet.

“You already know.”

I’m tempted to roll my eyes. Each conversation turns more mysterious than the last, with Death unwilling to answer my questions aside from in riddles.

“I’ve wandered every inch of this place and haven’t found a way out,” I say, resting my arms on my hips. “I’m walking in circles.”

“This realm is yours as much as it is mine. Your eyes wander this place, though you see so little.”

“Thank you for the pep talk,” I fire back, my words syrupy sweet as I glare at her.

“You’re looking for an answer out there, when it lies within your grasp already.”

I screw my eyes shut to fight the wave of irritation flooding my mind, and when I reopen them, Death is gone. Of course.

Savage’s furry head brushes my leg, stirring me from the contemplation of Death’s words. I stare into his white eyes, and like a mirror to my own soul, anger flares inside me.

Death is a cryptic motherfucker.