Chapter 1

The sea breeze whips strands of hair across my face as I go over the plan for the hundredth time. I’m counting the days and hours since I left Averion, determined to return as soon as I can.

Squinting against the briny gusts, I turn my head and my eyes lock onto the one sight that always steals my breath. Elanor’s willowy frame leans against the wall of the ship’s cabin, her back to me, and a pit opens in my stomach.

The setting sun frames her silhouette in a halo of gold and pink hues that complement the warmth of her chestnut hair. My heart constricts the way only she could provoke, and peace settles through me, the calming eye in the center of the storm. As long as I draw breath, I will cross endless oceans to remain by her side.

If only it were that simple. The hint of a smile plays at the corners of my mouth until the mirage fades away amidst the organized chaos of the shipmates rushing around me. Pain flares in my heart. If only she could be here with me. My mouth opens but the cry doesn’t leave my throat as our mating bond blazes inside me.

I understand now more than ever her reluctance to the bond. When life separated us, it became nothing more than a cage, squeezing tighter and tighter around my heart, crushing my soul, hurting my body and mind. What used to connect us and fill me with pure bliss grows more torturous the further I go from her.

I pinch my eyes shut, hoping to bring the vision back; Ela’s hair flowing in the wind, her irises full of life, her smile widening as our eyes lock, but it’s her blood-smeared face that appears. That image haunts me, torments me at night, forever taunting me with the impossible.

Fresh nightmares have replaced the old ones, terrifying companions of my nights since Braern’s defeat. It’s not my enemies’ corpses I see anymore. Now, it’s hers.

Her victorious smile appears when I close my eyes and her memory tears through my chest as I scream her name into the ether, but no one answers.

Staring at the horizon, where dark waters extend as far as the eye can see, my mind inevitably wanders to my mate. I see her in the shadows. I see her everywhere, expect her to appear by my side and confirm it was all a bad dream.

The ocean spray whips my face and I check the mating bond. A familiar void greets me. My grip tightens on the wooden railing of the boat and the cold wind carries the smell of saline and algae, reminding me how far from Averion I’ve wandered.

Another zap of pain goes through the bond and I clench my jaw hard to fight the wetness pooling in my eyes. I would have imagined that the longing would recede with each day, but it only amplifies, making her absence the only thing I can think about. Every hour, I check the bond, irrational hope filling my heart, though I know no one has the power to bring her back.

I can only focus on what I have to do. My mission in Zetrea is the last purpose I have left. The threat to Lóna has not been eradicated yet. I have to find out how Braern got hold of the sorcery that decimated the ranks of our army in Adria weeks ago.

We stopped him, but not before thousands died. Cries and wails from the battle mix with other massacres forever engraved in my head. These dreadful memories now harbor Ela’s piercing scream, too.

Blood calling for blood, my power flares and my desire for revenge awakens. Strength floods my arms until the wood beneath my palms cracks and I let go. War has haunted my every waking moment since long before this power awoke inside me. It is my burden and calling, in this life and the next.

We raided Braern’s base of command after his defeat and confirmed the deadly powder was gone, but we found encrypted letters detailing how to use and command his weapon—an enchantment controlled by an amulet. With the whisper of a few words, a touch of the talisman, the battlefield exploded, killing blindly, unleashing pure wrath and destruction.

A smile tugs my lips at the memory of Ela leading the final attack. Forever a mind of her own, she snuck into the enemy camp at night, set on fulfilling her revenge. And that, she did. My smile widens as I lose myself in her remembrance.

She slayed Braern without a second thought after I snatched his medallion. As his head fell to the ground, she turned to me, unyielding and victorious. She looked at me as if for the first time, with love and pride in her hazel eyes as she embraced her true self fully. I’ll never forget that sight.

My heart swells before the image fades and reveals the endless pit inside of me.

I was ready to take that last memory with me to my grave when my consciousness slipped into oblivion, my body torn from Braern’s attack, but Ela found a way to save me, trading her life for mine.

I awoke, and she didn’t.

My hand brushes Ela’s soft cheek one more time, and her face remains undisturbed, frozen in a peaceful state. It’s been weeks, but I keep caressing her pale skin, hoping this time will be different. This time she will hear me. This time she will come back to me.

“Little one, it’s me.” The words barely reach my ears, but I keep going. “You’re safe now.”

I haven’t slept in days and can’t remember the last time I ate or drank. My throat dries up as I try to clear it. “Please.”

I release a heavy sigh before brushing a strand of hair behind her pointy ear. “I have to go, Ela. I can’t delay any longer, but I’ll be back. I promise.” I deposit a soft kiss on her forehead, then her cheeks, and finally, her lips. “I will always come back to you.”

I lift my head as Morthil walks in and shakes his head in defeat. “Her body is perfectly healed, but she is no longer in our realm. Wherever she is, I can’t follow. No one can.”

Clenching my jaw, I stand.

“It makes no sense, Mor,” I say as I pace around the room. “I will summon the best healers of Zetrea once I reach Nyths. We will find a way.”

The healer doesn’t respond, tilting his head to the side.

“What?” My voice rings loud, disrupting the room’s peaceful atmosphere.

“Playing with Death always comes with a price. Her fate is in her own hands, and she has to be the one to come back to us.”

A wave crashes against the side of the boat, bringing me back to the realm of the living. We tried everything, and there is no other explanation for her slumber. She doesn’t want to return to this life, to me.

“High Lord.” A member of the High Guard bows a few feet from me. I relieve him from the formality with a wave of my hand, and he straightens. “The coast is in view. We should arrive in Zetrea by sunrise.”

I send him away with a nod. There is no grieving for me. We can’t lower our guard yet.

Someone aided Braern, equipped his fighters, provided the mysterious necklace, and prepared him to take Lóna. Adria was but a taste of what is coming if I can’t stop this madness.

Braern corresponded with someone in Zetrea, and its capital makes the perfect hunting ground for me to find out who. My visit to the continent is long overdue, anyway.

Once I’ve ensured the safety of Lóna, then I will rest. Then, I will grieve the ones we lost. Then, I will bring her back.

I glance behind us as our horses gallop on the road to Nyths, leaving clouds of dust in our wake. Ryfa’s rooftops glint under the sun in farewell before city structures sink from sight. The dense thicket of dock warehouses and weathered masts dwindle to silhouettes on the uneven horizon until those outlines blur indistinguishably into wild grassland.

The warm breeze does little to ease the heat, and beads of sweat roll down my temples as we cross the verdant fields.

This land hasn’t changed in centuries. Roads connect all major cities and plains decorate the central part of Zetrea. Further east, Nyths is surrounded by mountain ranges, protecting its flanks and strengthening its strategic position. Forests occupy the southern region, and great lakes the northern parts, though I have never seen them.

The thunder of hooves in my ears fades away, leaving me to my memories.

I haven’t seen the Fae capital since I first came here as a child with my father. As the Lord of the Moon Fae’s firstborn, this introduction to Fae society was a necessary formality, though it was more like an invitation to the snake’s nest.

Wars broke out not long after, and no Fae in Lóna has set foot in Zetrea since. At least, none on an official delegation.

A visit to the King as High Lord of the unified Fae territories would be the ideal occasion to oust Braern’s accomplice, and the missive I sent two days ago from Ryfa will ensure a greeting committee awaiting us in Nyths.

I check the weapon at my side once more, its movement foreign, for my two-bladed sword is no longer on my back. It doesn’t allow for much stealth where I’m headed. The rest of the unit is riding around me in formation, their faces stern and focused.

I lift my hand and slow the group’s pace to let the horses cool down. We still have another two days’ ride to the capital and can’t appear to be in a hurry.

Pain flares in my chest again as the bond ignites, ever more intense as the distance with Averion and Elanor increases. The corners of my lips lift into a tight smile.

Love was a mere synonym of suffering and despair for as long as I could recall, until I met her. I’m now holding onto the sharp sting in my heart like a lifeline, a sign she still lives, even if she never comes back to me. I don’t know what lies ahead, but the scarred bond reminds me how much I still have to lose.