Chapter 1

Chapter One

Jessie

"You're marrying me off?"

I'm looking at my parents like they had just said the worst thing in the world and it's because they did. There's no way they are doing this to me, it can't honestly be possible. Just the thought is enough to make me sick to my stomach and I wish that I could have done anything else. I could have fallen for someone else when I had a crush on my best friend.

He likes me, too, but we can't be together.

He just has to be my guard.

"Prince Ruka is the Crown Prince, and his kingdom is strong." Dad murmurs, as if he is trying to make me understand even though I don't, "I know that you don't like the idea of marrying someone that you don't know but I can assure you that he is going to love you the way that you deserve with time. We have all had relationships where we ended up finding love after time."

"I don't want to be with someone that I don't love." I protest, knowing my best friend, Hayden, is standing off to the side like a perfect guard and there is nothing that he can do, "you can't force me into this relationship! I won't do it! I'm already in love with someone else."

I can't believe that I'm admitting this aloud, knowing that Hayden doesn't know it is him so he's not going to react. I don't know if I love him, but he is someone that I depend on and I wanted to one day bring it up about us possibly having a relationship that is approved by my parents.

It's clear to me that it wasn't going to be the case.

Dad isn't going to allow me to ever marry Hayden. It doesn't matter that he is a good dude and is going to treat me the way that I deserve. He is going to make sure that I'm never going to be able to get away from it.

"I know that you like your bodyguard." Mom murmurs, speaking up finally and I'm looking at her like she is crazy, "but he is not going to be able to give you anything like that, Jessie. As much as you think that your relationship will work, it will only last for a little while. He's not Royalty. He will not go far."

This breaks my heart to hear as I glance over at Hayden, but he is not looking at me. He is looking straight ahead, not daring to think about anything else as he is probably just worrying about himself right now. I wish that I could have said the same thing and I longed to be much closer to him, but I have no idea what's going through his head now.

Maybe he doesn't care that I would marry someone else.

"Prince Ruka will be here in a few days." Dad tells me finally, making me stare at him like he is truly nuts, "and I want you to give it a chance. Don't you dare try to fight me on it and I just want to make sure that you absolutely do the right thing, Jessie. You're my only flesh and blood and you're going to have to do this one way or another. I won't be so happy if you end up fucking it up. You are a Princess and so much is relying on you to do this the way that it needed to be done."

I really don't know if I can listen to this, and I turn on my heel and walk away from them. I know it might be childish, but I have to do this before it ends up ruining me in the process. I have never felt this strongly about something and they just threw it in my face like my feelings never mattered in the sense.

I know that they had an arranged marriage but that doesn't mean that I have to.

Why should I have to do something that I really don't want to do?

There's no reason for this if you ask me.

I'm never going to be able to forgive them either.

"Jessie." I hear Hayden's sweet voice as he is following me, protecting me, "We already knew this was going to happen. It's okay."

"It's not okay." I protest, whirling around on him because I feel like I'm about to go crazy, "you should be more pissed off, Hayden. You should have wanted to fight for me and our relationship. I…"

"We don't have a relationship." He cuts me off, making me look up at him with surprise because I didn't expect for him to speak to me so coldly, "I wish that maybe we could have but there's no way it would work out. You need to do this for the Kingdom, Jessie. You have to marry this Prince."

"I thought you loved me." I whisper in a hoarse tone, staring up at him, "Did I mean nothing to you?"

His jaw clenched as he looked away, "You mean everything but I'm nothing more than a guard. I can't do anything else for you… I'm sorry."

His words break my heart, it is as simple as that. I wish I could do a lot more but it's not getting me anywhere. I just bow my head because there's nothing else that I'm going to be able to do about it, feeling really weird about the entire thing because it's pretty clear to me that it's not going to go the way that I wanted it to. I should have known that he was going to do something like this because he is my best friend.

He doesn't care what is going to end up coming from it, he's just doing everything how he pleases. I wish that I could do the right thing as well but it's like nothing I have ever felt before. I wish that I could make Hayden understand me.

To understand what I want.

I know now that he is not going to EVER be in a relationship with me and it is just hopeless to think about. I hate to admit it, but I already know that it is never going to go the way that I wanted it to. I wish that I could have done a lot more but I long for everything else.

I just need to make sure that I'm going to do whatever I need to.

"Okay, I guess I will marry him then." I murmur coldly, just fiddling with my fingers because there's nothing more that I'm going to be able to do, "and I guess that I don't need you then. I don't want you to ruin my relationship with the Prince, do I? I don't know."

I hate that I'm even saying this, but I have to walk away from him because I couldn't do anything else. I wish that I could have done a lot more, wanting to be close to him but I know I'm not going to be able to do anything like that.

I can't bring him closer.

If I do, I know it will end up destroying everything. I can't do anything else, but I keep asking myself if this is going to be the right thing for me to do. I'm just hoping and praying that I might be able to have a relationship with someone else.

I can't do this.

I don't know if I will ever be able to.