4. Chapter 4

W hy did I feel nervous? It wasn't like Florian was a complete stranger I was inviting into my home. But then, he kind of was, even if he'd grown up here. I didn't know what happened or why he left, but he hadn't made any attempts to return in all of this time. I was nervous, though.

Perhaps it was how gorgeous he was, even with the casual look he currently wore. Or the fact that I could still hear him whispering the word cock in my ear. It was jarring in that I wasn't used to such crude language, but also that it was him. I couldn't shake the image of him on his knees before me in the garden, or the idea that he would enjoy such a position. It wasn't that I was unfamiliar with intimacy, but it was difficult to find legitimate partners that weren't after the crown or the power it brought. I always had to be careful of my reputation as well.

The prince, soon-to-be king, couldn't be seen with a revolving door of partners, no matter their gender. Casual dalliances weren't an interest to me anyway, not with as many strings as there were. So, here I was at thirty-three, and I had only had a couple of relationships that went as far as physical intimacy. If I was being honest with myself, a part of me longed for my first love. The one that got away and broke my heart.

Now he was back, and taking him into my home felt so much bigger than a simple tour. I tried to shake free from the weirdness I felt and put a smile on my face as I opened the door and gestured for him to enter.

"Welcome to my home, Florian." I wasn't entirely sure what to do with him or how to act.

He scoffed half-heartedly. "I've been here before."

"Well, welcome back."

Florian slid a glance to me and offered me a small smile before looking around the hall. I tried to picture it in his eyes. The tapestries on the walls I never noticed anymore. The chandeliers that hung from the ceiling. The long windows that let the sun's beams flood the hall with natural light. The tapestries had to be rotated regularly so they wouldn't fade from the sun. As far as I knew the vine and flower weavings had been around for generations.

"It hasn't changed." Florian's voice held a mixture of wonder and something that sounded like pain.

I tried to play it off as casually as I could. "Yes. That's pretty typical here. Traditions, you know. Which really means nothing changes."

Florian met my stare, an all-too serious look on his face. "Just because nothing has changed doesn't mean it can never change. Sometimes it just takes a catalyst and someone willing to take the first step."

I felt one side of my lip tug up at the conviction in his words. A conviction I felt deep within me. It was what I hoped for, what I hoped to be: a catalyst, but it was hard to do it alone. Nearly impossible in the in-between position I was currently in. More say than civilians, but not enough pull to act on anything that hadn't been approved.

As someone who was taught to carry conversation, I found myself unsure of what to say. Florian disrupted years of training.

It was him that spoke first when I couldn't find words. "Do you still have the same room?"

"I do. For now. Once I am crowned, I will move to the king's apartment."

He let out a long, slow whistle. "Moving on up. I don't know how it compares now, but I remember sneaking in there when we were kids and being blown away by the size and elaborate decorations."

"It's big even now. Too big for one person. I've stood on the threshold a few times, imagining it to be mine, but I can't. It feels empty…hollow. It's meant to act as a refuge for the king. A space to get away from it all, but it somehow feels suffocating at the same time."

"Can we see your room then, before it's not yours any longer? I…have really fond memories of it." The sadness I saw in his eyes made my heart ache. I wished I knew the cause of it. I wished I could take it away. To use magic to render it from him as he had the enchanted frog from me.

"Yes, I'd be happy to show you my room."

His hand stayed clutched in mine as I led him down the corridor. I knew he knew the way, but he seemed to cling tighter and tighter the deeper we went into the palace. When we came to the wing that housed the royal suites, he radiated with tension.

"Is the queen here?"

I cocked my head at the question, and the strange tone he used. "My mother?"

He gave a quick bob of his head as he glanced around furtively.

"I believe she had a brunch scheduled with a women's group, but I imagine when it's over she will be busy checking everything is ready for tonight's dinner party. There's a chance she may return to her room to change or to relax. Why?"

"I'd just rather not see her if it can be helped," Florian muttered and looked away as though he wished not to speak of it.

"Come on, we're almost to my room." I squeezed his hand and pulled him toward my suite. A guard stood at the end of the hall, straightening as soon as he saw me…us.

"Your Highness." His greeting was brief as his eyes wandered to Florian.

"Liam. This is Florian. He is a friend of mine. We will be in my room and wish not to be disturbed unless urgency requires it."

Surprise flashed in his eyes, but he managed to regain control quickly. "Yes, sir."

I knew him but wasn't as close with him as I was to Oscar. It was a risk to take someone to my room—even guards were known to gossip—but I didn't care. I wanted Florian alone. Perhaps if it were just the two of us, he could let the wall down that seemed to have been erected when we stepped inside the palace.

As soon as we were in my room and I closed my door, I could practically feel the bricks come down a little. Then he surprised me with a laugh, one that was genuine and made my heart leap.

"What?"

"The look on his face was priceless. It's like he's never seen you bring a man back to your room before."

I shook my head. "He hasn't."

Florian popped an auburn brow. "Surely, you've had trysts and snuck men back here."

"Not here. Aside from staff and my parents, you're the only one that has been in my room." And in my bed .

Florian wandered around my room in silence, his finger gliding across the credenza that housed my games and movies. On the top sat a chess set that was made of marble and onyx. My heart twinged when he picked up the black knight, remembering how it was his favorite piece when we were young.

Florian played with it in his hands, tracing the shape with his thumb, and he looked over his shoulder.

"Why is that?"

Because this space was sacred, that it belonged to the boy I knew, that having someone here meant something, and the men I'd dated…didn't. I didn't voice any of that, simply shrugged, and said, "It's complicated."

Something strange passed across his face, and he pursed his lips. "I should probably go."

My gut dropped. He was finally here, finally where I'd dreamt of him being for so long, and he was already anxious to leave. I couldn't…couldn't let him leave. Not now.

"No." It came out as more of an order than I meant it to.

"Excuse me?" Florian challenged.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I just…don't leave. Not yet. Please ." If it were someone else, I would be embarrassed by the desperation in my voice, but I was desperate, and it was him.

"I'm not sure, Mal . Malachi . I don't belong here." The sadness in his voice made me ache. As did the thought of him leaving.

"I need your help. Will you stay for the party tonight? It's important. My first one since the announcement of my upcoming coronation. What if another charm should come upon me? There wouldn't be time to call for you."

He let out a deep sigh before offering me a wary smile. "I think my presence will cause more harm than good."

"It won't, I swear. Come as my date, and no one will dare question you."

A glint of hope sparkled in his green eyes. "Your date? You want to bring a witch as your date for your first party as a future king? Are you sure that's wise?"

"I'd rather have a witch on my arm than anyone else. Besides, it's like you said, change starts with someone willing to take the first step." I purposely took a step toward him to emphasize my point. "Here I am."

"You really want to do this? People will talk."

"People always talk. It could have been about me croaking in the middle of a conversation. Having them talk about seeing me with a beautiful man at my side seems preferable."

Florian's lips twitched in amusement. "Those would have been interesting headlines. But you're sure? Really?"

I took his hand and held it in mine, feeling stronger at his touch. I had only twice been seen with a date at official functions and both I regretted, because they had been self-serving, seeking my attention for their own purposes. With Florian, I knew he had no agenda other than to be there for me. I may not have known the adult he'd grown to be, but I could see that much was true. He was only here because I asked. "I'm sure."

Florian tilted his head back to meet my eyes. "If I do this, I do it as myself. I won't hide who I am, not even for you, Mal. I've worked hard to embrace my true self, and I will not go back."

"I would never ask you to."

He breathed deep and let it out. "Okay. I'll be your date." His lips curved up on the last word.

I wanted to shout and pump my fist into the air, but I kept myself under control, mostly. I couldn't stop the grin that stretched across my face. "Thank you. Whatever you need, let me know. I can have someone fetch things from your home, or I can have something ordered or made."

He let out a huff of laughter, stepping away, and running a hand over the pulled back hair on top of his head. "Ha! Just like that. You make it sound so easy."

I shrugged. "Some things are."

Florian chuckled and shook his head. "For you, I suppose so. I have a few things I could piece together, but I'm not sure I'm too keen on having someone rifle through my things. It's not only my house but my place of business. I could run home and be back in a little while."

I bit my lip and rubbed the scar on my wrist. Something told me that if he left, he wouldn't return. That the uncertainty he felt within the palace would come back and make him second guess…everything. I couldn't let that happen.

"Let me do this. Please. You're the one doing me a favor, so let me do something for you. Anything you want, whatever style you see fit."

"My pride wants to say no, but I do like pretty things, and I'm not above taking you up on the offer, but I won't be wearing a traditional suit. I think my soul would die a little if I did."

"We can't have that. I will be sure the tailor knows that you have full say on your outfit."

"Alright. Let's do this." Florian smiled fully, looking completely radiant.

I met his smile, thrilled that he had actually agreed. With any luck the time we would spend together would soften the edges of the past and allow something new to grow. I knew so little of the man he was, but seeing him in my room once more, I hated the thought that it would be the last time.

"Let me just make a call."

Florian chuckled and mumbled, " I'll just make a call ," in a teasing tone as he continued to wander around the room.

The hardline phone in my room was on an internal system, so I didn't need to call anyone in particular, I simply picked up the handset and someone would be on the other end. I could call out on it if I entered a code first, but all the lines were monitored for safety and security, so I never used it if I didn't have to. Not that there were many people I talked to on the phone. The call to Florian was the first I'd made in longer than I could imagine.

"Good morning, Your Highness. How can I assist you today?" The calm voice of the steward rang through. The man had to be in his nineties by now, and had been old when I was a kid, but he loved serving the royal family and had done it faithfully for probably fifty years at least.

"Good morning, Reginald. I would like to have a tailor sent to my room. Please have them bring a selection of fine fabrics to choose from. I have a friend who will be attending the party as my date tonight, and he will need something…enchanting to wear."

Florian met my gaze with a questioning expression, and I gave him a wink.

"Yes, sir. I will send one up in a moment. Are there any dietary needs or preferences I should make the cook aware of?"

Good question. Something I hadn't even thought of. I didn't remember Florian having any allergic reactions as a child, but they could change over time. I held the phone's handset to my chest. "Florian? Do you have any food allergies or avoidances?"

He cocked his head as if trying to determine what that would have to do with clothing design. "I'm a pescatarian. I'm okay with seafood, cheese, and eggs, but I don't eat any meat aside from those. Oh, and no faces or tentacles, I just can't."

I chuckled at the way his face squished up at the thought, looking adorable, and seeing a glimpse of that young boy from long ago.

After relaying the information, the steward replied, "Very good, sir. I will inform the kitchen at once."

"Thank you, Reggie."

"Anytime, Your Highness. I look forward to meeting your friend."

I placed the handset on the base and turned to find Florian staring at me. "Reggie? Like the Reggie? The same one who used to yell at us for tracking dirt inside?"

I smiled at the memory. He was never mean about it, but he worked hard to ensure the palace was kept tidy, and he took a lot of pride in his work. "The very same."

"Holy shit! I can't believe it. The man has to be ancient now." Florian sat on the edge of my bed as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I took the spot next to him, because it felt natural. Despite the lack of knowledge I had about his life, I had this sense of rightness at his side.

"He is, but he's still going strong and refuses to retire."

Florian smirked. "Do you remember when we caught that rabbit and tried to sneak it into your room, convinced we could make it our pet?"

I fell back on the bed, my legs hanging off the edge, and wore a big grin. "Yes! But it got away from us. Reggie chased it with a broom all through the hall. I'd never seen the old man move so fast."

"RIP Sir Fluffington. Though your time with us was short, you were a good bunny," Florian said as he laid beside me.

"Sir Fluffington! I'd forgotten." I let out a loud laugh, feeling full of light and joy at the ridiculous memory. We had gotten into trouble together more than a few times. Nothing malicious, but we were the only kids in a household not designed for kids, and we found ways to entertain ourselves. At least, until he left.

"I didn't. I remember everything, Mal." Florian gave me a sad smile before staring up at the ceiling.

The mood change had my gut tighten. We lay side by side, on my bed, and he suddenly felt miles away. I had so many questions. So many things I wanted to know, but I didn't know if asking them would ruin things. Though, with the sorrow now etched into his face, I couldn't stay silent.

"What happened, Flor? Why did you leave?" The words came out so quietly, I wasn't sure I'd spoken them aloud until he sat up and cut me a look full of hurt and confusion.

He stood quickly. "What! What do you mean, why did I leave ?"

Shocked by the tone in his voice, my mouth fell open, trying to think of how to respond. I sat up and stared at him. Had I missed something? Or was it something I had done that pushed him away all those years ago? It was the thought that had plagued me the most. Had I been the reason he left?

Before either of us could say anything else, a knock sounded on my door. "Crowns!"

Standing, I looked between the door and Florian, but I couldn't leave things like this. So I closed the distance to the beautiful man and reached out for his hand, grateful when he didn't yank it back but rested it in mine.

"I don't know what I did, but give me another chance. Please, Flor. Let me try to make things right between us."

"You…didn't?" His eyes looked misty even as he shook his head in confusion. Then I felt his hand squeeze mine, and he took a deep breath, steeling himself to respond.

Before he could say anything, I rushed to add, "Stay. I need you with me tonight, not just because of the charms, but because I want you at my side. I've missed you, Florian, more than I can possibly say."

He stared up at me, those green eyes watery, but he gave me a sweet half-smile. "Okay."

Relief flooded me. I lifted our joined hands and kissed the back of his. That sweet smile grew, and with it the warmth of him came back into me. I left him to open the door and found the tailor with a cart loaded full of material. They dipped their head in respect.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice, please come in."

"Of course, Your Highness. Fashion emergencies are my very favorite sort. Nothing gets the blood pumping quite like a needle racing the clock."

I pursed my lips with amusement. "Then I hope you'll be pleased to know I have a big task for you. Mx. Ambrosia, this is Florian. He will be my date tonight, and I want him to shine."

Ambrosia looked him over, likely already piecing together outfits in their head, and nodded in approval. "Oh, yes. I think we'll have a lot of fun. Though he needs no help from me to shine, don't you agree, Your Highness?"

They met my gaze with a playful smile. I looked over Florian. Even in the toned down, casual outfit he wore, and with his hair tightly wound at the top of his head, he glowed. That sunshine that radiated from him when he used his magic bloomed beneath the surface, lighting him from within.

"I completely agree."

Florian's eyes warmed with affection, and he squeezed my arm.

To the tailor, I said, "Whatever he says goes, Ambrosia."

They gave another examination of Florian and grinned widely. "Yes, I believe we will work some magic together."

Florian's eyes sparkled with excitement. "That's exactly what I was hoping for."

"Great!" I clapped. "I think I'll leave you two to scheme." Leaning closer to Florian, I whispered, "Will you be okay here on your own? I don't want to be in the way."

He looked at the cart of fabric, unable to hide his interest. "I think I'll be fine. But you'll be coming back, right? You better not make me show up to the party by myself."

"I would never. Besides, I want everyone to see us walk in together, for them to see that you are mine."

His brows raised high, while his lips pursed in amusement. "Yours?"

Panic swept through me. I hadn't meant to say that, not out loud. "Crowns! I didn't mean that. You're not mine . You are your own person. You don't belong to anyone."

"Good answer, prince-y." Florian patted my chest.

I heard Ambrosia cough to cover a laugh. I pointed at the door. "Yeah, I think I'm going to go."

I fled. I might be the next king of our nation, but I knew if I stayed I was bound to put my foot deeper in my mouth. My foot…wasn't what I wanted in my mouth. I thought of Florian's whispered words, and an ache was building in my groin. Crowns ! I was in trouble.