Chapter Six

Priest

Sitting in the coffee shop watching Cameron scarf down his third chocolate chip muffin, my mind turned back to Phoebe. I knew she was leaving today. Logically, I knew that was for the best, but I couldn't get my heart to agree. All I'd ever wanted was for her to have a happy life. She deserved that, especially after everything that had happened.

Maybe I should have Scribe file the divorce papers.

Closure was good, right?

The second I thought about doing just that, I knew I wouldn't.

She was my wife, and though I couldn't bring myself to say the words, I still loved her deeply.

We said our vows before the eyes of God and that was something I took seriously. Yes, we had problems, and yes, I knew our troubles were all my doing, but I couldn't just let her walk away from me.

The problem was me, not her.

She was right about one thing though.

Every time I laid eyes on her, all I saw was her laying there on the ground, slipping away from me. It was bad enough, we'd both lost what we desired the most, but the thought of losing her too was too much for me. All because I trusted someone I shouldn't have.

I had to do something.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn't so bad having her around. I enjoyed seeing her every day. Her smile was the one thing I looked forward to lately.

God, she had a beautiful smile.

And if I was being honest, I kinda loved having her around.

"You know I can help, right?"

Huh?

Looking up from my coffee, I saw Cameron leaning back in his chair, wiping his mouth with a napkin before he reached for his vanilla shake. Swirling his straw in the ice-cold sweetness, he looked directly at me.

"He won't forgive you if she leaves."

"What are you talking about?"

"Phoebe."

This kid wasn't just fucking smart, he saw everything. He knew exactly what he was doing and what was going on around him at all times. He was methodical, maniacal, more than any of us ever gave him credit for. The kid was fucking dangerous.

In more ways than one.

Treading carefully, I asked, "How in the hell do you know she's leaving?"

"Snuck into her room and saw her bags. Saw something else too."

"Your sister finds out you did that she's going to tan your hide."

"Sissy won't touch me. She loves me, and besides, she will be on my side when I tell her why Phoebe is leaving."

"And why is that?"

The kid just stared at me like I was stupid.

Yeah, I felt stupid too. Because only a stupid person would be having this conversation with a soon-to-be seven-year-old.

God, I must be losing my mind.

"How did you find out?"

Enigma was right.

This kid was a miniature Don Corleone .

There was nothing he didn't know.

No one was safe in the clubhouse with this brat around.

Reaching for his backpack, the kid unzipped the front pocket and removed a small leather case. Placing it on the table, he slid it over to me and stated, "Let's just say I know everything. Just like I know Phoebe can't leave without those."

Grabbing the small leather case, I opened it to find Phoebe's driver's license, passport, and her airplane ticket.

What the hell!

"You and I are a lot alike, Priest. We care too much. Like you, I only want to protect my family. After Mom and Dad died, I tried to protect Sissy, but I couldn't ‘cause I'm just a kid, but you know something that makes us different."

"What?"

"I ain't afraid to ask for help."

"What are you saying, kid?"

"You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours."

I glared at the little mob boss. "You can't even reach my back."

"True, but we got friends who can."

"The brothers?"

Cameron nodded.

"Scribe ask you to do this?"

Cameron sighed, sitting up straighter in his seat. "No. Not his style. Scribe wants to beat your ass. I prefer talking before action. Let's face it, if I gotta get up and do something, I ain't gonna be happy until I get what I want."

That was for damn sure.

"The way I see it, you have two choices? You can either be a dick and let her leave or you can be a manly man and let your family help you."

"This isn't your business, kid."

Cameron smirked. "That's where you're wrong. You and Phoebe are family. That makes you my business."

"Anyone ever tell you that you're a pain in the ass?"

"All the time, but I don't let that stop me. I own who I am, and you should, too."

"It's not that easy, Cameron. Life isn't that easy."

"That's because you can't let go of the past," the kid said, getting to his feet. "Look, you did me a solid today and I always repay my debts. Take a look in the folder behind her passport. If you can look at that and tell me you don't need my help, then I'll mind my own business."

Watching as Cameron headed off toward the back of Beth's shop, I flipped open the leather case and removed Phoebe's passport to find a picture. Pulling it out, my hands trembled when a memory came rushing back.

Stepping out of our bedroom, I smiled as I spotted her standing in front of the fridge again. Her eyes glazed in wonder as a lone tear rolled down her face. Walking up behind her, I wrapped my arms around her as she leaned back against me.

"You can't stand here all day, Pheebs."

"I can do anything I want, Shaw."

I chuckled, kissing the top of her head.

God, she was a sassy little thing.

"Okay. So we will stay here for the rest of our lives."

"Works for me." She giggled.

"What about school?"

"Life is a school, Shaw. Everything we need to know; we can learn just by living."

"Don't see that paying the bills, babe."

"Shaw?"

"Yeah, baby."

"Do you think we will ever be as happy as we are right now?"

"I don't know, but in this exact moment, I am very happy."

"I am too," she whispered, moving my hands down over her swollen stomach where our son lay.

Standing there, with her in my arms, I never wanted the moment to end.

If I had only known what the next day would bring, I would have stayed in that spot with Phoebe in my arms and never moved.

After dropping Cameron off at home, I headed back to the clubhouse, unable to get my brain to shut off. No matter what I did, everything played on repeat.

Every choice.

Every mistake.

Every hurtful and disgusting thing I'd done and said in the aftermath.

All because I couldn't handle the emotions that overwhelmed me.

Because of me and a single choice I'd made, I'd destroyed the woman I loved and ruined any chance of happiness. All that remained was a shell of a man I once was. There was nothing left of me.

Everything I was, died that fateful day, and no matter how hard I tried, I never could find my way back.

I was lost.

Lost in a sea of torment of my own making.

Walking into the clubhouse, I ignored everyone and headed straight upstairs. I wasn't in the mood for company tonight. Besides, lately I couldn't stomach looking at everyone's happy faces. I didn't begrudge my brothers anything, but when you had nothing to live for, seeing the constant reminder of what I would never have was like adding salt into a wound.

Standing before her door, I knocked lightly.

I didn't have to wait long before she opened it.

Saying nothing, she looked up at me, waiting. Without preamble, I handed her back the leather case with all her documents in it.

"How did you get this?"

"Cameron," I simply said. "Don't be angry at him. He only wanted to help."

"Help with what?"

"He figured out our secret."

"I see."

"Anyway, I won't keep you," I muttered, turning to leave when she spoke up.

"Shaw, wait."

Refusing to turn back around, I stood there, waiting.

"Is this what you really want?"

I knew what she was asking, but I refused to tell her the truth. There was no life with me. We would never have what everyone else had. It was impossible, and I couldn't take the chance with her staying and resenting me. It was bad enough I already blamed myself for my actions. It would kill me if she did, too.

"I read your cards today."

"You know I don't believe in that crap."

"I know, but I do," she murmured. I heard the hitch in her voice. My words had hurt her again. "Shaw, be careful. Fate isn't done with you yet."

I smirked, turning to face her and growled, "Fuck fate."