Chapter Twenty-Four

Sarah

Nobody saw her pain.

She braved it all, even putting on that fake smile of hers. I'd seen her do it every time she was around one of the babies. She hid the hurt she felt, the sorrow that buried itself deep within her soul, the longing when she held Milo.

He really was a sweet little boy and loved by many.

Including her.

Yet, all the babies in the world would never replace the one she lost.

Or help her reconcile the fact she could never have another.

Nothing would.

The thought of something happening to one of my babies gutted me so much it almost paralyzed me. But for her to go through what she did and still hold her head up every day, care for others, be the friend we all knew her to be, showed a remarkable resilience and spoke of the love she carried deep within her.

If there was ever a woman on this planet who deserved to be a mother, it was Phoebe. She was the most caring, gentle woman I'd ever met, and I considered her one of my best friends. There was nothing I wouldn't do for her, and yet watching her shower Milo with love, broke my heart. I longed so much to help ease the heartbreak she felt.

I couldn't stand and watch anymore.

Walking away, I headed back upstairs to the nursery to check on my babies. Entering the room always put a smile on my face, however walking in and seeing my triplets crawl around on the floor as Fiona played with them left me feeling melancholic.

Taking a seat, I said nothing, I merely sat there, thinking how lucky I was.

My whole life I was nothing more than a fuck up. I'd never cared about anything but my own needs. Then Gunner and I got together, and my world changed. Instead of trying to be something I wasn't, I started living, being the person I wanted to be. I embraced my new reality with open arms and didn't give a damn what anyone thought.

When I learned I was pregnant, I heard the rumors, the quiet whispers.

In the eyes of the townsfolk, I was nothing more than another pregnant teen who'd thrown her life away. Only I hadn't. I loved being a mom, a wife, a mechanic. I had a room full of friends that supported and guided me and helped when I didn't know what to do. Even my parents, who were rightfully pissed at first, stood by me every step of the way.

Now, I couldn't imagine my life any other way.

"You okay, Sarah?"

Smiling at the young teen, I recalled how Fiona had come to us out of the blue. Because of her, Frank and Claudia had Charlie. A very much-loved little boy, who everyone adored. When Claudia learned Fiona was Charlie's birth mother, the stubborn doctor refused to leave the young mother in the child welfare system. In the end, the club rallied, and Frank's grandmother adopted the young girl. None of us thought anything of it when Fiona held or played with little Charlie.

Yes, Fiona gave birth to him and loved him, but she was adamant that Charlie wasn't hers.

She was only the cool aunt who got to spoil him rotten.

And she did.

"Oh, nothing. Everyone is downstairs welcoming Milo home. Why don't you go and say hello?"

"I will," the pretty teen said. "When it's not so crowded downstairs."

"Fiona, you know you are part of this family, right?"

"I know." She smiled, hugging my daughter Cassie. "It just feels weird sometimes."

"How do you mean?"

"It's kind of hard to explain. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a guest. Like I'm waiting for someone to tell me it's time to go home. Only I don't know where home is."

"Your home is here, with us."

"I know that, and I love my new big family. I never had brothers and sisters before. I guess it just takes some time to get used to."

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Carry a baby for nine months and give him away?"

Fiona shrugged, looking away. "I love Charlie. I always will, but he wasn't mine. He never was. Deep down, I know that. I couldn't have picked better parents for Charlie. He is going to grow up knowing he is loved and wanted."

"You don't have any regrets?"

Fiona shook her head. "No. None. Lidi and Frank are the best parents I could have ever asked for. Watching Frank carry Charlie around is so cute, and when Lidi sings him to sleep, it's the most beautiful thing. My mom used to do that, you know? Sing to me. I remember when I would get scared, she would hold me close and sing until I fell asleep. She was the best mom. Just like Lidi."

"You miss her, don't you?"

"Every day. But now, I've got Granny, Georgie, Frank, and Lidi. Even Charlie."

"And you have all of us, too."

"Yeah, I do." She smirked. "I guess to answer your question, I knew Charlie needed something more than me. Someone who would love him the way he deserved to be loved. I was a child myself, Sarah. I didn't know what to do, what I wanted, or even where I was going to sleep most nights. I didn't want that for Charlie. So, I made sure he would never have to worry like I did."

"What you did was brave, Fiona. I don't think I could ever do something like that."

"Yes, you could." The girl looked at me. "Everyone has it in them to be selfless. It's the ones who are that receive the greatest gift of all."

"And what's that?"

"The gift of unconditional love. Knowing that you love someone so much, that without thought, you put your own wants, desires, hopes, and dreams aside so someone else can experience the same thing. That's the ultimate act of love, Sarah, and very few people ever get to experience that."