Chapter Twenty-Two

Phoebe

"Phoebe Augusta Dalton, you cannot deny the universe!"

Athena snickered as Freyja leaned over and whispered, "Damn, girl, Mom just full-government named you."

Pushing her away, I groaned. "I'm not denying the universe anything, Mom. I'm just doing things my way from now on. My whole life, I've done exactly what the universe said and look where it got me. I'm done. While I still believe, I refuse to pin my hopes that the universe has something better planned."

I loved my mom. I really did, but sometimes the woman could be a bit much. From the moment my parents showed up with my sisters and Henley, my mom hadn't stopped trying to persuade me to forgive Shaw. I knew she only wanted the best for me, but I wasn't a little girl anymore.

I knew what I wanted, and right now, I wanted peace and quiet.

"Stevie, we should let Phoebe choose what's best for her. Maybe Shaw isn't who the universe chose for her," my dad said quietly from the living room. "Maybe there is someone else better suited for her."

My mom gasped, and I rolled my eyes.

Even I knew Shaw was the only one for me.

I wasn't stupid.

Pissed off, but not stupid.

"Woodlawn Malpas!" my mom screeched. "How could you even put that out in the universe? You know Shaw belongs to our baby girl."

"Yep, I do." My dad nodded. "But he hurt my baby girl. Boy needs to suffer, and what better way than for my baby girl to spread her wings and see what else the universe can offer her? There are plenty more fish in this sea, Phoebe. I say cast your net and see what else you can catch."

"Yeah, Pheebs," Athena whispered, looking directly at me. "Go ahead. Cast your net. See what happens. I dare you."

Narrowing my eyes, I glared. "Shut up, Athena."

"No one is casting anything," my mom huffed. "Unless it's a love spell to bring Shaw and my baby girl back together."

"Don't need a spell, Mom." Athena smirked. "Slow and steady wins the race."

"What about marriage counseling?" Henley spoke up, which had all five of us looking at her.

My mom smiled at the newest member of our coven.

Yeah, we didn't say family in our family.

"Oh, sweetie, we don't need counseling. We just need to consult the cards. Phoebe, go get your cards."

"I threw them out."

Now, all eyes were on me.

Great.

Taking a deep breath, I added, "They weren't working anymore. The universe hasn't spoken to me in years."

"Don't worry." Athena smiled, reaching into her bag. "I have mine."

"Great," I grumbled, praying the universe would swallow me up. I really didn't want anyone to do a reading about me.

I didn't care.

I just wanted everyone to leave me alone.

"No," Freyja piped up. "We will use mine."

"Why yours?" Athena asked.

"Because mine are all about the good juju. Phoebe doesn't need your negative energy right now."

"I'm not negative, you witch!"

"Oh please. The last reading you gave me, you said I had a dark cloud hanging over my head."

"You did!" Athena shouted. "And later that night, you were caught in a horrible thunderstorm."

"See, ominous." Freyja shrugged while she shuffled her cards.

Athena huffed. "Just deal the damn cards."

Smugly, Freyja shuffled the cards one more time before placing three cards in front of her.

Past, present, and future.

The reading for Love.

The first card could either represent me or Shaw. The second card implied our current connection to one another. The third card spoke of what was in store for us regarding our relationship.

For years, I would draw three cards, looking for a hint, anything to tell me we still belonged together. But the cards only foretold loneliness and pain. After a while, I stopped drawing. I couldn't handle seeing the same thing over and over again.

With three cards splayed out on the table, my mom and sisters leaned forward to take a look. While I trusted Mom and Athena to know what the cards represented, it was Freyja's deck, and she'd pulled the cards. What they all failed to grasp was that the cards were linked to Freyja.

Not me.

So whatever reading Freyja was about to discover had nothing to do with me, but her.

Sitting back, I grinned, waiting for her to realize what she had just done, because I knew the interpretation of each card varied depending on who the reader was and how knowledgeable they were about the cards. Freyja was good, but not as good as me.

Tarot focused on archetypes and symbols that carried strong psychological messages, offering insight into the reader's innermost feelings about themselves and their romantic partners.

"Well, shit." Freyja frowned. So did Athena and Mom.

"What do you see?" I asked, shaking my head.

"The Wheel of Fortune."

"Representing change through unexplainable chance." I nodded. "Go on."

"The Fool."

I smirked. "Representing new beginnings."

"And the Judgment card."

Looking at Freyja, I said, "The symbol for spiritual awakening, rebirth, and the freedom of inner conflicts. It also suggests that you have found your true purpose. That card also advises that you trust yourself and your talents."

"Oh crap," Athena groaned, finally catching on.

"I don't understand." Freyja frowned, looking at me as I got to my feet.

"It means you didn't pay attention when Nana taught us the cards. You shuffled the deck. You drew the cards. That reading is about you not me, and from what I see, your life is about to change. So, buckle up, your life is about to get very interesting. Now, if all of you will excuse me, I have to be somewhere."

Grabbing my bag, I headed for the front door and left before anyone could say anything more. I didn't know where I was going to go, but I knew wherever it was, it was going to be quiet.

Sitting on the bank, I watched the sun set over Rosewood Lake. It truly was beautiful here. Magical in a way. I didn't understand how the universe could create something so magnificent and yet still allow horrible things to happen to wonderful people.

I wasn't a bad person. For years, I'd lived by the cards, allowing the universe to guide me, believing fate would never let me down, and when I met Shaw, I thought I was finally being rewarded for all of my diligence. And for a short time, I was blissfully happy.

Then I wasn't.

Still, I consulted the cards, listened to the universe. I never lost hope, believing fate and the universe knew what they were doing. For years, I hoped the cards would guide Shaw back to me. When we left for New York, I silently hoped that maybe our time had come. That we would finally find our way back to each other. I believed he was going to need me, but in the end, he didn't. He never really did. And when he decided to end everything I'd worked so hard to hold together, something inside me snapped, releasing the tether that connected us both.

In that moment in time, he freed me from years of worry and indecision. Now all that remained was pain, sorrow—hurt that I felt bone deep. It robbed me of my very breath. I couldn't concentrate on anything. All I saw was him. In my dreams, everywhere I looked, he was there. I could smell him, feel him, hear his whispered words in the wind, almost like he was standing right beside me.

It was confusing, because for the last ten years, I hadn't been able to sense him. He'd been lost to me, literally and figuratively. Only when I was in the vicinity of him did I feel him.

Now, it was like he was everywhere. All around me. I couldn't breathe without breathing him into my soul.

I thought it funny.

The second I chose to move on with my life, Shaw chose to wake up from his nightmare. I was happy he was living again and that he was putting forth an effort to make amends with his friends, to move forward with his life.

Healing was cathartic, and if anyone deserved to heal, it was Shaw.

Regarding me, it was a little too late.

I would never be the person I was once.

The worst part was thinking I could have done something more, loved him more than I had. Since returning to Rosewood, I'd found myself second-guessing every decision I'd ever made where he was concerned. Wondering if I hadn't stayed away, forced him to face his nightmare, that maybe things would have been different for us.

The longer I sat there, the more I questioned every decision.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't still love Shaw.

The universe knew I did. Sometimes, just thinking about him caused my heart to skip a beat, robbing me of the very air in my lungs. He was everything I ever wanted and more. All of my hopes and dreams were wrapped in a man who only wanted me when he needed me.

Call me selfish, but I needed him too.

Only he never took the time to notice.