Chapter Two

Priest

I was running the obstacle course when Scribe came out of nowhere and tackled my ass to the ground. I knew the second Phoebe got up and walked back into the clubhouse, something was wrong. Seeing the longing on her face shredded my weathered and dead heart to pieces. I thought there was nothing left to break, but I was wrong.

I hated myself for what I was putting her through, but it was the only way.

She was better off without me.

Safer.

"She's leaving!" Scribe roared, and I ducked before his fist could connect with my face. I knew Scribe and Phoebe had a very close relationship. Phoebe was the youngest of his three sisters, and Scribe was the only brother. Close in age, the two had a very tight bond.

He adored her and she loved him dearly.

"What the hell do you want me to do about it?"

"Stop her."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can, but you won't because you are too fucking chicken shit."

"That's right, asshole. I'm the chickenshit."

"What the fuck is going on here?" King roared, walking over to us.

Storming off, I refused to stand around and debate something that didn't matter anymore.

It was done.

Over.

"Priest!"

Ignoring King, I headed for the clubhouse. I didn't want to talk to anyone. What was the use? It wouldn't change anything.

What was done, was done.

I couldn't turn back the clock and change what had happened any more than she could save me from the hell I lived in.

Storming up the stairs, I headed for my bedroom, only to stop when she walked out of her room. After everything that had happened, after all these years, she was still the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Just looking at her, everything inside me wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and make all her tears disappear.

Instead, I sneered, "So, you're leaving."

She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Yes, tomorrow morning. I'm staying for the ultrasounds. I don't want to disappoint Bailey or Skylar on their big day."

I knew I shouldn't have engaged her in conversation, because the second I did, all my memories, my feelings, my desperate longing came rushing forward like a tidal wave. It was dangerous, and yet, looking into her beautiful eyes, I couldn't stop myself.

I needed her gone so I could live again.

But I needed her close, just to breathe.

From the moment we first met, everything about her was electric. She was a pull unlike anything I'd ever experienced before, swarming around me, yanking, tugging, pulling me closer to her, until she was the very breath in my body. Nothing in this world made sense without her, and yet, when I was with her, nothing on the outside mattered. She was the center of my universe until she wasn't, and now, I lived a half-life, adrift in the vast universe with no direction.

Instead of telling her what I really wanted, I turned and muttered, "Stay or go. I don't care."

"I'm never settling down and having kids," Banks grumbled while I leaned on the grocery cart, watching him throw shit into it like he was at some damn basketball tournament.

When Pyro suggested the club throw an impromptu barbeque to celebrate Bailey and Skylar's good news, I got paired up with the club's most opinionated asshole to grab shit from the grocery store.

Had love for Banks, but the brother had an opinion about everything.

Beer or whiskey... opinion

Single-ply or quilted toilet paper... opinion.

To-may-toe/toe-ma-toe... opinion.

Fucker wouldn't shut the hell up. Like right now. King had told us to grab shit for a barbeque. To any normal person, that would mean beer, burgers and chips.

But did Banks think like that?

Fuck no.

Opinionated fucker stood looking at all the chips complaining. "Why the hell are there so many chips? Why can't there be just one kind of chip? I mean, look at this shit. There is cheese, barbeque, sour cream and onion, sea salt, nacho, salt and vinegar. The list goes on and on. How many kinds of chips does there need to be? What's wrong with just plain Lay's Potato Chips?"

"I like the rippled, myself," I muttered.

"See," Banks shouted, pointing a finger at me. "That's a perfect example of too many options."

"Variety is good, Banks. You are thinking too hard about this. Just get what you like so we can go."

"But what do I get? I can't just get what I want. Everyone likes something different."

"Then grab one of each." I groaned.

"That's gluttony, Priest. You, of all people, know that."

"I don't give a fuck. Just grab something."

The brother never shut up. He was as bad as Hawk and that was saying something. The only one worse than them was currently still in a coma after laying down his bike on I-80. By some miracle, Trip was still hanging on, much to everyone's shock and amazement.

Grabbing a variety of chips, he threw them into the cart and continued on, "Did you see Cameron today? Kid almost murdered Bailey. I'm telling you, Priest, that kid is dangerous. Did you know Hawk wants to patch the little shit in already? I got no problem with it, but fuck me, that kid scares me sometimes."

"Grab a bag of Cheetos."

Banks faced me and frowned. "Cheetos? Really? They are not barbequing food."

"No, but they are going to keep me from beating your ass. Just grab a damn bag and put them in the cart."

Doing as I asked, he said loud enough for me to hear, "And you call yourself a man of the cloth."

Rolling my eyes, I trotted behind him, praying for patience, because I was really close to stuffing his ass in the meat freezer.

Reaching for the bag of Cheetos, I placed the bag in the small seat of the cart. They were her favorite, and though it wasn't an apology; it was the best I could do. I knew I hurt her with my words. I didn't mean to. Hurting her was the last thing I ever wanted to do.

Yet, it seemed it was the only thing I was good at lately.

Everyone around me was finding their happiness, starting new chapters in their lives, oblivious to the darkness that surrounded them. If they knew what dangers lurked just beyond the shadows, they wouldn't be so eager to bring new life into the world. Because all it took was one misstep and everything could vanish.

All their hopes, wishes, dreams for the future would disappear into thin air. Yet, even knowing the truth, I said nothing while I watched my brothers and their women celebrate their good fortune.

Everywhere I looked, brothers laughed and drank like nothing was wrong. Why wouldn't they? This was a celebration of life. Even I knew the impending birth of a baby was good news.

Still, I couldn't bring myself to be happy for them.

If they only knew.

No matter what I did, my eyes still searched for her, and when they found her, I frowned. She had that look on her face again. The one I couldn't decipher. The one expression that had always eluded me. And when she turned and walked off, I followed.

Almost as if some imaginary force field beckoned me to her.

I didn't know why, only that I had to.

It was a strange feeling. Then again, everything about her was strange. There was a time I loved that about her. Now, not so much. Still, I couldn't stop myself from following her. Logically, I knew she was safe within the confines of the compound, that no one here would hurt her, but they didn't know the truth.

She stopped and looked around.

It was something she had never done before, but now she did all the time.

I hate that she had to.

Another stain on my soul.

"Shaw?"

Her voice carried through the trees, like a gentle whisper caressing my face. It had been so long since I'd heard her say my name. For a short while, my name was all I wanted to hear her say.

Now it was a reminder of my failure.

Standing utterly still, I watched from the shadows when that look appeared on her face once more.

If I could only decipher that look.

Frowning, I said nothing when she ducked behind one of the cabins.

Hurrying to catch up, I rounded the corner of the cabin to come face-to-face with her.

There in the darkness, where the moon shone down on her, I stared into her fathomless green eyes as she held me captive in the shadows. A twig snapped in the distance, jolted me out of whatever spell she had me under. I grabbed her, turning her quickly as my body caged hers against the back wall of the cabin.

My heart raced as I took in my surroundings. The strong, feral need to protect her still coursed strongly in my veins. And when I finally turned to look down at her, I was once again caught in her web, unable to break free.

"Shaw?"

Not thinking, I reached for her hand and dragged her through the back door of the cabin before slamming the door closed.

In the next instant, I grabbed her face and sealed her lips to mine.

If I was going to spend the rest of my life in Hell, then I needed a reminder of my sins.