Chapter 5

W hy is he looking at me like that?

It's the first thought that swirls into my mind as I watch Stone watch me with a desperation I've never seen in his eyes. But before I can say anything, Eric speaks again, and my world spins.

"Did you like my calling card? It was just for you."

Calling card.

My mother.

"Opal Morris," I choke out, my voice raspy from disuse or pain; I'm unsure. All I know is that the organ in my chest is currently trying to beat its way through my skin.

"Who the fuck are you?" Nyx barks.

He's much closer now, having inched his way toward Ella at some point. Her fingers are clammy in mine, or maybe she's strong and steady, and I'm the one falling apart.

I have no idea.

All I know is that I can't let go of her. Even the small distance between us feels like too much. Every step she takes toward Eric feels like an ocean too far.

"How do you know Stone's father?"

Eric's practically dancing with laughter, and I'm momentarily taken back to that time and place when he was so much bigger, so much more terrifying than he is now. A time when he could hurt me, bend me, break me, just for his sick enjoyment. A time when I had no choice but to let him.

I have a choice now, though.

I'm bigger than him. I'm stronger than him. With Ella and these men, this family she's created for herself, surrounding us, I no longer feel like the weak little boy I once was.

"I'm in the Circle, of course." Eric grits his teeth. "I was in the Circle." He points an accusing finger at Ella and me. "You ruined everything, you worthless pieces of shit."

I flinch, and Ella rubs her thumb over my palm. I should be the one comforting her, protecting her. I should be the one shoving her behind me so I can turn him to bloody ribbons.

But I can't fucking move.

Why can't I move?

"Who is Isabella?" Stone murmurs, his voice cool and calm. For some reason, his confidence soothes my frayed nerves.

Eric smiles, his hand sliding from behind his back. Everyone moves at once, and I tighten my hand around Ella's, instinct screaming at me to take her and run. But she doesn't let me run.

Doesn't let me.

Doesn't let me.

Instead, she lets go of my hand and steps forward, leaving her line of men at her back like the willing soldiers they are.

We are.

"Wait," she says softly, holding her hand out to stop them as a chorus of clicks fills the air. "I need to know."

They all make sounds of irritation, but I say nothing, do nothing.

Why can't I do anything?

Gage steps forward, and my eyes track him as he slides in behind Ella and bends down. I hear him murmur softly in Spanish, words I can't make out against the erratic beat of my heart whooshing in my ears.

He places his hands on her shoulders and squeezes. For some reason, seeing them together, him supporting her, not stifling her or holding her back, has my feet finally shuffling forward. Ella stands taller, like she truly knows she's not alone in this world. Like she'll never be alone again.

Her fingers wrap around mine, and I realize I'm not alone either.

They're a unit. A team. A family.

And maybe, just maybe, I can finally be a part of that, too.

Ella takes a deep breath, steadying herself, and I squeeze her hand in mine. "Do you know who I am?"

My heart picks up to a painful pace as he smiles and nods. His gaze lazily slides over the empty parking lot, but his body is tense, his grey beard ticking along with his jaw.

"I do." He flicks his eyes back to her, then to me. "He's always wanted your blood, little doll." His head tilts, brows furrowing, and I shiver at the sick name and words. Who is he? Why does Eric keep referring to some elusive man? "From the moment I met him, it was always about your blood. Your mother first, and then you." He shakes his head, his smile dropping. "He thinks you're the key. He needs your name, your blood. He played the long game. Kept you alive but broken until you turned twenty-three."

Stone sucks in a sharp breath, and I feel Gage stiffen next to me.

Her hand shakes in mine, and just like she had before, I smooth my thumb over her skin, reminding her we're here. Whatever he says, whatever he does, we're here.

"I'm not twenty-three, though," Ella rasps.

Even though I know she's right, I also know she could be wrong. We don't know when she was born or where. Don't know who her family is, or fuck, who she is.

It's never mattered to me. Not for a single second. But I know how badly her blank past bothers her. Know how much she wants those lost memories. Wishes the darkness was bathed in light.

Eric's smile is slow and tortuous. "How do you know? Do you know your birthday? You don't know anything." His eyes flick between the men surrounding me. "You don't even know who stands next to you."

"I do," she snaps. "They are Los Diablos. I know them."

But does she? Do any of us really know each other? It's been a whirlwind the last few months, and though I've worked for them for years, I hardly know the men who surround us.

That's not true, my mind whispers.

Eric shakes his head. "You really don't. None of you know anything, but we're running out of time, so, unfortunately for you, little doll—" Eric breaks off. I see it before he's even made the decision to move, and finally, finally, my body knows what to do. His hand flies up, the gun cocked and ready, as he cackles his final words. "You won't be alive to find out."

Everything happens so fast, but my soul has made the decision to react before my mind can even comprehend it.

Eric's gun goes off, but I barely hear it as I jolt forward and wrap my body around Ella's.

Ella.

The only woman I've ever loved.

The only person I've ever truly cared for.

The only one who's ever mattered.

I don't see the world spin as I cocoon her in my embrace and twist my body to take the brunt of the fall when we hit the ground, or I try to, at least.

I don't see the lights swirling around us or the chaos that breaks out in the parking lot.

I have no idea where the guys are or if Eric's alive.

All I know is that Ella is wrapped in my arms, and she's safe.

She's safe.

She's safe.

My eyes burn, my head throbs, but my arms tighten around her.

She's safe.

She's safe. I think my eyes are closed, but I'm not sure anymore. All I know is that I can't see the stars or the flecks of blue and green I love so much—the never-ending depths of the ocean meeting vibrant green hills of rolling grass.

Life. She's always been life. Even when I didn't want to live mine anymore, she embodied it. I smile to myself. Ella is life, and she has no idea.

I open my mouth to tell her, but nothing comes out.

She's safe.

She's safe.

But then, there's screaming. Or maybe it's me. Maybe it's me crying out for her because I don't see her anymore. My Ella. My world. My beginning and ending.

Something collides with my gut as the screams grow. I try to move, try to respond, but everything is so heavy here in the darkness. Everything is hazy and blurry. There's a swirling in my gut and a pain in my chest that I don't understand.

None of it matters, though, because she's safe. She's—

"Get off me!" a soft voice cries, pushing me harder with a delicate fist.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, alarm bells are going off. I know it's her. My Ella. I know she's crying, begging, pleading, but I can't make my brain work with my body. And then, she whimpers in pain.

With a heavy breath, I tighten my arms around her and try to move. The world spins again, and I groan, panting hard. Why's it so difficult to breathe?

"Elle," I grunt, my voice pained and raspy. Why do I sound like that? "I've got you."

"Hunt," she whimpers, her body going still in my arms. "Please."

Her voice is so sweet, and somehow, it soothes the burn deep in my chest. The ache that's beginning to grow with every erratic beat of my heart. And then, we were moving. Or maybe the world was. The sensation of falling lasted long after my back slammed into the harsh concrete beneath me.

Falling.

Falling.

Falling.

Will she catch me?

"Hunter, say hello to your new sister. This is Ella. Ella, this is Hunter," Eric snaps, making me bristle.

I say nothing. I can't. How can I speak when this is all so wrong? Why did he bring another kid here when he can't even take care of me? Why did he bring someone so sweet, so innocent, into this house when he already hates having me here?

He's going to break her.

And I can't do anything about it.

"Hunter!" Eric shouts, and I watch as the new girl jumps, her tiny blue-green eyes going wide, and something in me snaps.

He wants her to be my sister, my family, but if that happens, it means she'll stay, and if she stays…

She smiles softly at me.

Too soft.

She's too good, too sweet.

Too weak.

Too small.

No. She can't stay.

"She's not my damn sister!" I shout, my fist smashing against the table.

Eric sighs loudly. "We've been going over this for weeks, Hunter. As long as you live here, we're a family. Ella lives here now, so get used to it. Be polite or else."

Ella? She doesn't look like an Ella.

She looks…

Nice.

Too nice for this house.

She can't stay.

But then, her tiny smile grows, and somehow, her face lights up like the first ray of sunshine this bleak home has ever seen, and the ugly heart buried deep in my chest finally feels something.

Hope.

So, I swallow back my anger and whisper words that I know will change my life.

"Hi, Ella."

I blink at the memory, trying to focus on the here and now, but it's so damn hard when all I want to do is sleep. To succumb to the memories that twist and writhe in my soul. Some of the best moments of my life took place in that house, and they were all because of her.

The first time, someone smiled at me and meant it.

The first time, someone hugged me and meant it.

The first time, someone said they loved me and meant it.

Ella meant it. Everything she did, everything she said. She was pure light in a world of darkness.

The ache in my chest grows, and I force my eyes open just as my teeth begin to chatter. My brows dip. When did it get so cold? I swallow the bitter taste filling my mouth. I just need her. Need to see her, touch her, hold her.

I need to remind her how much I love her.

She's blurry, but I can make out her hunched-over form as she frantically searches, searches, searches. Is she searching for me or for them?

My hand feels like it weighs a million pounds between us, but I finally gather her fingers with mine, tangling them together. Ella's head snaps in my direction, and the second those perfect, wide eyes connect with mine, I know I'm done for.

I'm gonna marry this girl someday.

She's just so beautiful, so sweet and kind. Even back then, when we were kids in that rotting house, I knew she was mine. Back then, our love was different. My feelings were different. I knew I couldn't live without her. I knew she was my best friend. My favorite mornings and warmest evenings. The only time I ever felt whole, felt seen, felt safe.

Since then, that feeling has only grown.

I swallow, and my mouth is dry. I suck in a breath to cough, and it's then that I realize the ache in my heart isn't just because I love Ella so much but because it hurts, actually hurts.

It's burning like someone stuck a flaming hot poker beneath my skin and twisted it until all that was left was my acrid ash, and yet, it also feels like nothing .

That can't be good.

My finger slides up her hand, finding her bare wrist beneath her dress, and I weakly tug her forward, gritting my teeth with the movement. Ella sniffles and shuffles forward, her eyes wet with tears as she takes me in.

Fuck. It really is bad, isn't it?

Her soft hands squeeze my cheeks as she frantically searches my body for injury. I try to say it's my heart that hurts, but nothing comes out.

Ella cries out, her head whipping back and forth. The pain is red-hot as she shoves her hands down onto my shoulder, pressing it into the gravel.

"Stop," I grunt, but the sound is weak and empty, like my body's too busy spending all its waning energy on loving her.

With every beat of my burning heart, I love her, and every twist of my stained soul, I need her.

Does she need me, too?

God, I hope so.

Will she love me even when I'm gone?

Elle," I try again. "I'm so tired."

She presses down harder, her hands trembling.

"You idiot," she cries.

Her hands slip, and her eyes go wide, even as her light skin pales. Bad sign. That's a really bad sign. I don't say that, though; instead, I smile as she rambles. My pretty girl. My perfect, sweet girl. Too good for this world.

"You jumped in front of a bullet for me. Why, Hunter? Why?"

How could I not?

I'd jump in front of anything for her. A bus, a train, a plane, a car…

Fuck. I'm losing it.

I have to touch her. Just this one more time. I have to promise her things I should have promised her a long time ago.

No, don't hurt her.

Internally, I scoff. I would never hurt her on purpose.

She's my life.

I reach a shaky hand up and cup her cheek, my pathetic smile never dropping. Ella sucks in a breath and leans forward when my lips part, and a raspy sound escapes.

"It's the least I could do," I whisper. I think my brows dip. I meant to say that louder, more sure, more confident. "He took so much from you. We both did."

A ragged sob pours from my baby's lips, and I try to silence it, but nothing comes out.

"No," she chokes out, her head shaking frantically. "No. That's not—you didn't—I—"

"Shh," I breathe. I don't want to see her so upset. Not now. Not ever. "I'm okay. Calm down." My eyes drift closed as everything goes hazy, goes dark. "I'm just tired. I just need to rest for a minute."

In the darkness, the world slowly starts to trickle in, and I finally hear something other than her. There's screaming and shouting, bullets ricocheting off metal, and guns being fired. It's a war, and in the morning, I'll be nothing more than its first casualty.

She won't be, though. Never her. Not while I still breathe.

"You need to hide, Elle."

"I'm not leaving you," she shouts, pressing harder to staunch the wound. "Never."

I want to smile at her adamant promise, but everything's just so heavy, so dark, so quiet.

The warning bells get quieter, too, and I know that's a bad sign.

Bad. So bad.

"Forgive me, Elle. Okay? Say it, please."

She chokes on another sob, this one keening and born from deep inside her soul. I get it. I feel it, too. "There's nothing to forgive. Nothing. There never was. I love you, Hunter. I do. I love you. I promise."

"It was always you," I rasp.

She shakes me, but I can't look at her. Not yet.

Nap first. Love her later.

Love her always.

Ella starts to scream, but I barely hear the jumbled mess of words spilling from her lips.

In the darkness, I see her. I see her smile, her eyes playful as she holds out her hand. I see her wrap her fingers around mine and grin up at me. I see her lips move with the words, the promise we've made to each other again and again since we were kids. A promise born in the darkness.

"You fall, I fall—" I whisper as Ella starts to pull me back into the black abyss. I'll go anywhere she wants me to. Anywhere.

I think I hear a scream. I think I feel my body being moved. Think I feel my soul fracture along with hers, but I ignore it because I've got my girl in my arms, and she's smiling at me like she means it.

She always meant it.