Chapter 3

E veryone is silently falling apart.

They won't say it, admit to it, but I see it in their eyes.

It's in the way Maddox won't stop flicking his pocket knife, the blade opening and snapping shut again loud in the otherwise oppressive parking lot.

It's in the way Nyx's arms are crossed over his chest, his tux bunched and taut from how hard he's balling his fists. His jaw is pulsing, his eyes incessantly scanning our dim surroundings.

It's in the way Stone is staring at the side of the black SUV as though he can see right through the thick explosive-proof metal and blacked-out windows. The furrow in his blonde brows, the dark circles under his blue eyes.

But mostly, it's in the way every single cell in my body is primed and ready for a fight.

I don't know what or why, but it's there , burning and writhing deep in my soul, threatening to shred me to bits. Part of me thinks it's just because tonight means so much. Me reentering the fighting circuit for the first time in years. Me doing something I swore I'd never do again, not unless I was being forced to.

But I'm not being forced.

In fact, I agreed to this shit show willingly, all because my tiny spitfire of a woman batted her blue-green eyes up at me and rolled her thick lip out in the sweetest pout I'd ever seen. I folded like a shitty house of cards and now…now I'm about to step into the ring again.

I swallow roughly and run my fingers over my guns as if to remind myself I'm safe, we're all safe.

But who will keep them safe from you?

"So," Madd grunts, jarring me from my thoughts. I blink slowly at him, my eyes adjusting in the dark. I cock a brow and he scoffs, leaning against the car. "Are we gonna talk about it or what?"

Stone stiffens but says nothing, his gaze still riveted to the window, seeing nothing.

"About?" I drawl, my head tilting to keep them both in my sight.

Maddox bites his lip, tugging the ring between his teeth as his throat bobs. "Hunter," he murmurs. "Obviously."

Stone stiffens again, this time, he rolls his shoulders and shakes out his hands. Though it looks like it kills him, he turns to face us, giving the SUV his back.

"What about him, Madd?" I sigh, adjusting my tux. I don't want to talk about Hunter, not really. Everything Ella revealed to us last night still feels too heavy, too much.

Nyx turns next, a slow smirk spreading across his mostly-shaven face. "I know what he wants to talk about," he chuckles.

Madd's head snaps to the side as he shoves to his full height. Nyx doesn't balk. The big fucker barely even blinks. Instead, his chuckle turns to a full-belly laugh.

"Madd's thinking about how hot his ass looks in those tight jeans, isn't that right? How badly he wants to rail the little fucker."

Maddox gapes, and I choke on the air in my lungs.

"Wh-what?" He shakes his head rapidly and punches Nyx in the gut when the big guy continues to laugh his ass off. "Fuck off! I do not want to fuck Hunter, no matter how hot his ass is!"

My eyes narrow as Nyx's widen. He bats Maddox away like he's nothing more than an annoying gnat, even though they aren't that far off in height.

"So you think his ass is hot," he points out, grinning when Madd turns red. "Knew it." He crosses his arms over his chest. "You want him."

Madd throws his hands in the air. "I don't want him, for fucks sake! Ella does!" He shoots an accusatory finger at the car. "Or isn't it obvious? They're probably in there fucking right now!"

Nyx lets out an exhausted sound and glances away. Stone says nothing. He doesn't move or show any sign he's listening beyond the tick of his jaw. And me?

I'm staring at my brother like he has three heads.

It's not like I haven't seen the way Hunter and Isabella interact. The way they ebb and flow around each other, showing how deep their friendship really is. I haven't missed how he looks at her, his eyes filled with so much longing and love, he wears it like a second skin.

And I really haven't missed the same expression on her face whenever he's around. Except for with Ella, it's tinged with something else, something buried deep inside where she thinks no one can see it.

I see it, though.

Maybe because I'm always looking, always wanting to anticipate her next move, her next thought, before she makes it. Wanting, no needing , to give her everything she could ever desire and so much more.

Maybe that's why I see how scared she is.

But I don't think it's Hunter she's afraid of. I think it's us . The way we'll react to her feelings for him. Her love.

To how badly she wants him .

I've seen it since the day he stumbled into our lives, screaming for her, begging us to let him see Ella. The pain in his eyes, the love written on his face. And last night, when she bared her soul to us, told us her deepest, darkest, and most painful secrets, ones that involved him, I knew .

Knew she'd never let him go, pain and fear be damned.

So, maybe that's why I answer the way I do instead of how Maddox expects me to.

Swallowing down the wave of jealous possession that rises in my chest, I look him dead in the eyes and murmur, "I love her enough to let him love her, too."

Madd blinks at me in shock but it's Nyx who surprisingly responds, his head bobbing. "I know I have a lot to fix where Isabella is concerned."

I scoff, but he goes on.

"I'm not giving up on whatever exists between us. I am beyond in love with that girl, and we all know it, but I won't stop until she does. I won't stop trying to heal the hurt I've caused, to fix what I broke. And that starts with accepting the fact that if, by some miracle, she can find it in her big heart to love me back, I won't be the only man she loves."

"So," my brother drawls, fucking up his hair for the tenth time. "You're allowing her relationship with Hunter just so you can get in her pants?" He shoots him a disgusted look. "I know you can be an ass, but that's low, even for—"

He doesn't get the sentence out before Nyx rounds on him, shoving him into the SUV with a forearm to his throat. I step up, my hands outstretched between us just in case I need to intervene. Stone presses his body against Ella's door as if to silently keep her safe from a threat that'll never touch her.

"Let me stop you right fucking there," Nyx rumbles, his voice low and lethal.

He presses his arm harder against Madd, making his cheeks turn pink, but my brother doesn't fight back. If anything, I think he needs this—the steady, if not forceful, reassurance from his best friends that everything will be okay. That we aren't going to lose her.

Maybe we all need it.

"I do not allow her to do a damn thing. If she wants to be with Hunter, it's her fucking choice, just like I told you at the house. You need to stop this shit, Madd. She's a person, first and foremost. She deserves her freedom—"

"I know that," Maddox hisses, but Nyx continues on, ignoring him.

"If she loves him, needs him, wants to fuck him right in front of us, that's her goddamned prerogative. Doesn't mean you have to like it or accept it or fuck , even be okay with it. You can get up and leave and then have an adult conversation about your boundaries with your girlfriend. But at the end of the day, it's her body, her life, her choice. If she wants you in it, be happy. And if all of a sudden, you can't, if you no longer want to share her the way you promised you would all those months ago, then you need to bow the fuck out. "

Maddox's Adam's apple bobs as he stares up at Nyx, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say his eyes are glossing over from our friend's words. I swallow against a similar burn in my throat.

He's right.

We can't say she deserves the world and then be selective about what that world looks like.

It's hers, and we're just lucky to exist in it.

Months ago, we promised we were fine with sharing her and being in a complex relationship with Ella. We can't pick and choose who's in the dynamic, not really. If we're with her, we're with her. Who else she chooses to give her giant heart to isn't for us to decide.

"I'm not going anywhere," Madd murmurs, his voice rough. Nyx releases his hold on his throat but doesn't step away, letting the threat remain. Maddox rubs his neck. "I'm not leaving her, not now, not ever. She's my life. My future. My happily ever after, something I never thought I deserved. I just—" He looks away, his shoulders sagging. "What if she picks him over us?"

The words are so quiet I can almost pretend I imagined them. But I know I didn't because the pain in his eyes makes it all clear.

Being abandoned, being deemed unworthy, is Maddox's biggest fear. Probably because of what our father's done to him since he was a kid. The abuse, the games, the constant reminder that he wasn't wanted. The cruel words he spits about Madd not being enough .

It's not true.

None of it.

But that doesn't stop the scars from burning.

Nyx sighs and cups the back of Madd's neck, forcing him to pay attention. "If for some reason, that wonderful woman in there…" He juts his chin to the car. "If she decides she no longer wants us, wants you , it'll fucking hurt. It'll kill you." Madd tries to pull away, but Nyx doesn't let him. "But she won't . I know she won't. She loves you with every inhale she takes and needs you with every exhale. And if she loves and needs him the same way, it's because he's already found a way into her heart. Not instead of you, but next to you."

He steps back, his jaw tensing and releasing repeatedly. "All of you."

"And you," I murmur, because I know that, too.

Ella may hate the big prick most of the time, but you can't hate with so much fire, so much passion, and not love just as deeply.

Nyx shrugs off my words, but the tension from his body seems to fade. The air around us is thick, and I haven't missed Stone's silence. But he seems miles away, and I know that means he needs space to process.

"Besides," Nyx grunts, his cruel smirk returning as he slaps Madd's shoulder. "If she lets him into her little harem, you'll get to see him naked eventually." He waggles his brows as Madd pales. "Get to finally see that hot ass you've been fantasizing about."

"I–I–" Madd stutters, his eyes going frantic like he's looking for an escape. "It's not like that."

"Sure," Nyx chuckles. "You can–"

"It's okay if you like him," I interrupt when I notice how much Nyx's taunting is getting to my baby brother. The last thing I want is for him to be stifled in any way, including his sexuality. He's already been through too much. I just want him to be happy. "Even if it's as more than a friend." I glance at Nyx and Stone. "The same applies to both of you."

For some reason, it's that particular statement that drags Stone from wherever he'd been lost to. He whirls on me, his already light skin paling even further. His head's shaking so quickly, his hair slips from its top-knot.

" Abso-fucking-lutely not ," he hisses with a gag.

My brows furrow. "Never took you for homophobic, Stone," I grit out, my stomach souring.

He jerks back. "What the fuck?" Our eyes stay locked, his wide and confused, mine narrowed in…I don't even know what. Disappointment? "That's not what I meant. Christ, Madd, you can like or fuck or love whoever you want. I don't care. I support you, all of you, in all ways. You know that. I just don't want to sleep with him."

Maddox bristles, and I see this entire conversation rapidly swirling down the drain.

He steps up to Stone, posturing as irritation rolls off him in palpable waves. "Why not?" He grits out. "He not good enough for you, or what?"

"Well, that sounded oddly possessive," Nyx murmurs. "Definitely defensive."

Groaning, I roll my eyes heavenward.

Madd gets like this before every fight.

A little wild, a little feral, and a lot stupid.

"No," Stone scoffs. "That's not what I'm saying. For one, you all know I'm pansexual, so you can fuck right off with your accusations. But regardless, I wouldn't fuck Hunter, and that has nothing to do with you." He shoves Madd away, making him stumble into me. "And everything to do with my father."

He swallows, his eyes pleading.

" Hunter is my brother."