Chapter 1

S he's across the hall.

Naked.

Or dressed, maybe. Probably with one of the others. Definitely being coddled. Touched. Adored.

Loved .

Grimacing at the thought, I finish buttoning my shirt so I can spend the last few minutes I have to check over my guns. Once I know they're perfect, I slip my leather chest holster on and strap in my Beretta 92, passed down from my dad, and my newer Glock.

Against my better judgment, I do a quick once-over in the mirror to make sure everything's right.

It doesn't matter what I look like or that the tux fits my body like a glove, showing off years of well-toned muscles. It doesn't matter that after Maddox's little stunt last night, I've shaved my beard for the first time since I was a teenager. Not even the fact that after doing so, I'd been inspired to actually visit a barber and get cleaned up as though tonight's a real date or some shit.

Objectively, I know I look good. But again, it doesn't fucking matter.

Nothing changes what I see reflected in the mirror.

A weak man.

A liar.

An asshole.

A spineless coward, too afraid to admit that he's in love with an incredible woman not even twenty feet away. So afraid that he'd rather hurt her in order to force her to keep the distance, knowing he's too weak to do it himself.

Me. I'm that man.

And I hate him.

Clearing my throat, I turn away from the ugly figure and snag my tux jacket from the closet, slipping it on without thought.

It doesn't matter what I see or who I hate. Tonight isn't about me. It's about them.

It's about Gage and all his fans, who are excited to welcome him back into the ring for his first public fighting appearance in years. It's about Maddox drawing up more business for The Den, which, while owned by all four of us equally, is his baby. It's about Stone, considering this entire thing was his idea.

But mostly...

Mostly, it's about her.

Isabella.

Thumbelina.

Mi Princesa.

And apparently, it's about Hunter fucking Morris. God, I hate that guy. Still, not as much as I hate myself, but fuck if he's not a close second.

I double-check that I have everything I'll need for the night. Wallet? Check. Phone? Check. Guns? Check. Shoes, jacket, cologne...

When I've gone through my list six times and am starting over for a seventh cycle, I realize I'm stalling.

"Fuck," I rasp, squeezing the handle to my bedroom door. I know I need to get downstairs. Know we can't be late.

But I also know what waits for me when I get there.

Isabella looking beyond gorgeous in a dress meant to break hearts and stop people in their tracks. One that will undoubtedly cause me to go into a murderous rage the first time some handsy, drunk motherfucker tries to tempt fate with his eyes or fingers.

One I stupidly bought her.

But, fuck, I couldn't help myself. The second I saw it on the mannequin in the window display downtown, I knew it was meant for her.

Ella deserves all the nice things the world can offer her, especially after what she's been through. She deserves diamonds and jewels, though I know she doesn't want them. She deserves a fucking crown for putting up with my shit alone.

The dress, though... it's perfect as if it was made with her in mind. The long sleeves and floor-length cut will cover a lot of her scars, not that I think they need to be covered, but I know she's still not ready to show them off proudly the way she should.

She'll get there.

My cock hardens, pressing roughly against my zipper as I imagine how the black silk will look as it splits to reveal her chest and, again, all the way up her left thigh.

Dammit. She's stunning every day. Fresh from a shower or just rolling out of bed, her long, chocolatey hair a mess of tangles on her head, and her cheeks still creased from her pillows. When she's sweaty and throwing my big ass to the mat during our training sessions, I find her irresistible.

But like this...I just know she'll have me ready to fall to my knees for her and try as I might, I'm losing the will to resist it. I've been fighting my attraction to her, our connection—the one we made a few years ago on the bridge. I've been swallowing it down, knowing she deserves better than me.

To be honest, she deserves better than all of us.

Isabella deserves the world.

But I'm not blind. I see the way my brothers make her feel. I see the way they are with each other. I see how good she's made them. And I'd be even more of a coward if I didn't admit it makes me insanely jealous.

The ding of the elevator arriving snaps me from my thoughts, and with a quick exhale, I practically shove myself into the hall, tensing for whatever I might see.

My body deflates when Stone strolls from the metal car, his shoulders back, a cocky smile on his face. His hair is pulled up and into a tight bun at the back of his head, keeping his neck-length blonde hair out of his eyes.

Seeing how calm and happy he is, I find my shoulders relaxing.

"You ready for tonight?" He murmurs, his eyes darting to Ella's door as though he can't help himself. My stomach flips, knowing exactly how he feels, but I ignore the call to her. It's not my place.

It's his.

And Madd's and Gages and fuck....

Probably Hunter's, if the way they stare at each other is anything to go by.

Christ, she really is collecting an entire harem of men, isn't she?

A clap to my shoulder jars me from my thoughts, and I look up, finding Stone's penetrative gaze. His brow arches at my silence then dips as a look of understanding washes over him. Damn observant bastard.

Coughing into my fist, I bob my head. "Ready as always," I murmur, pulling open my jacket to show him my weapons. "You?"

He squeezes my shoulder, then releases it with a scoff. "More ready than you, obviously." Now, I'm the one looking at him in question as he dips into his pocket and produces a small velvet box.

My face splits into the first real smile in what feels like days, fuck maybe longer, as I gesture to the floor. "Wow, I can't say I never suspected, but today seems like as good of a time as any." Chuckling, I cross my arms. "You're all dressed up and dapper. Well, go on. I expect nothing but a full proposal."

He shoves me away but laughs quietly at my idiocy. It makes something in my chest loosen. Things have been so serious and so painful around here lately. And I know I've caused just as much of that pain as I've tried to heal it, but tonight's supposed to be a good thing.

As if the world is agreeing with me, Ella's laughter permeates the hall, spilling through her cracked bedroom door. Stone and I both fall into silence as if to absorb the melodic sound. It's cut off with some kind of quiet rumble from Gage, followed by a gasp.

I choke on my saliva as images of what exactly he did to cause the sound bleed through my brain like a plague, each one more imaginative than the last.

"Fucking hell," Stone murmurs, rolling his eyes. "We're going to be late if he starts that shit right now."

Swallowing thickly, I say nothing.

"Here." He reaches for my arms, and I watch as he silently attaches two cuff links that are monogrammed. I squint, seeing letters that have my heart clenching.

I.H.

Isabella Hudson.

"These are the trackers we discussed. They're linked to a program I installed on each of our phones, as well as the hard drive here at home and the backup at The Den. Completely undetectable, unscannable, practically invisible. They can stand up to fifty pounds of pressure and are fully waterproof."

"How far will they track?"

He grins, pride rightfully shining in his eyes. "Across the entire Bay, up north about twenty miles, same south and across the Valley to the west."

I spin one around, studying it, as he slides the box back into his pocket. Such a tiny thing with so much intelligence. It's like Stone in a golden trinket. I smirk. "And Ella?"

He nods, inching closer to her door. "In all of her jewelry."

I grunt, my brows dipping. "Should have put the chip in her ass," I murmur, turning my back towards the elevator as I step away from him. From them.

Stone laughs, his head falling back with the force of it. "Right. I'd like to see you try that shit on her."

My eyes dart to her door again, unable to help myself. If I was one of them, in her good graces, in her heart, I would. I'd stop at nothing to make sure she's okay and safe.

As it is, I'm doing all I can from the sidelines. Why else would I be forcing myself to stay away from her? She's not safe with us, with me, in our world. She never will be. But they've all decided, and now, there's nothing to do but our best.

"Nyxon," Stone calls as my back reaches the elevator. Christ, I keep doing shit without even realizing it. I need to get my head on straight before tonight. I jerk my chin at him. He hesitates, a stern mask slipping in place. "All you have to do is say the words, man. Just tell her."

A wave of pure terror washes over me. I know what he's insinuating. He thinks I need to tell Isabella about my past, my sister, and my mom. About the trafficking jobs I've been on. The horrors I've seen.

I see no point. All it'll do is hurt the both of us and likely make her hate me even more, especially after finally revealing her past.

Maybe I should do it after all. It'll make the decision to part ways easier.

Coward , my brain hisses. I internally scoff. Like I don't already know that.

I nod, giving him what I hope is a reassuring smile as I hit the button to go downstairs. "I will." I gesture toward her door, the one he's barely restraining himself from plowing through. "Go get your girl, brother."

As I step into the elevator, I catch his quiet parting words. "She's ours, Nyx. All of ours. " I'm thankful for the door sliding closed so he doesn't see my face crumble.

If fucking only.

My head tips back, hitting the harsh steel with a thud, and I let my eyes fall shut. Images of Carolina and my mom flash through my brain with vivid intensity. My fists wrap around the handle along the back wall of the elevator, and I squeeze it so hard it creaks.

Blood, so much blood.

It takes two deep breaths before I can convince my face to even out and three before the rage and confusion battering around in my chest finally ebbs.

By the time the door opens, I've fully gathered myself. Maybe not for the entire night, but at least for now.

"Holy shit," a voice chokes, and my eyes lock on Hunter's just as Madd smacks the back of the kid's head. Hunter whirls on him, shooting Madd a death glare as he adjusts his tux. "What? Look at him. He's fucking hot," he hisses.

Maddox narrows his eyes and grunts in disapproval. "Dude, that's my family." He shivers in revulsion. " Gross ."

I step out of the car and join them in the living room while we wait for the rest of our group to arrive. My eyes flit back and forth, watching their oddly tense interaction unfold. Not odd because of the aggression. It's expected. The dynamics with Hunter now in the picture are... off , obviously.

But the tension between Hunter and Madd is different.

Charged.

Hunter's lip tips up, and he leans against the wall like a cocky fuck. "You're telling me you've never noticed that you're surrounded by insanely hot people all day?" He chuckles, licking his lower lip as his eyes slide down one of my best friends. "You're saying you haven't wanted to, I don't know, fuck around and find out?"

Madd sputters, then gags. He points an accusing finger at me, and my eyes widen.

When the hell did I get pulled into this shit ?

" He is like my brother," Madd hisses again. "Has been since I was a kid." His finger snaps to the stairs. "Stone's the fucking same." He gags. "And Gage is my literal blood relative, so no, Rockstar, I haven't wanted to fuck around and find out ."

Hunter bites his lip and shrugs. "Your loss, prick. Guess I'll have to keep all the fantasies to myself."

"You can't do that," Maddox grunts, shifting awkwardly. My brows crash together, and my head cocks as I observe him. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's nervous.

That can't be right.

Hunter chuckles, and I don't miss the way he blatantly checks out Madd, not even attempting to keep his attraction under wraps. "Thing is," he murmurs. "I'm not related to a single person under this roof, so as far as I'm concerned, you're all fair game."

It's on the tip of my tongue to shout a loud, not fucking me , but I choke it back. I'm pretty sure they've completely forgotten they aren't alone.

Maddox's eyes go molten, and his body tenses. I see the rebuttal before he even says it, and I groan to myself, knowing shit's about to blow up. He steps forward, closing the distance between the two of them with predatory intent.

Hunter's smile wilts, and his Adam's apple bobs. The room goes from tense to downright thick with electricity. My jaw ticks, suddenly unsure of what I'm watching.

Feels like fucking mating season at the zoo.

"Oh, yeah?" Madd murmurs, forcing Hunter's back to flatter against the wall. "Fantasizing about my family, hmm?"

His eyes rake down Hunter's body, taking in the fitted tux that matches our own. His dirty blonde hair is down and wavy, hitting his shoulders, and Maddox, being the freak he is, wraps it around his fist like he does with Ella, jerking the rockstar's neck back painfully.

Hunter's eyes go huge, and a tiny pathetic sound slips past his lips, making Madd grin.

"Tell me," he purrs, tugging harder. "Is it all of us you picture in your pretty little head while you fuck yourself, or is just one of us?"

The other man sucks in a gasp and presses his body into Madd's as though he can't help himself.

Christ, I shouldn't be here for this. It feels like I'm eavesdropping on an overly private moment, but my feet stay rooted to the spot, and I find myself unable to look away. It's like a car accident. A confusingly hot car accident.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he murmurs, his eyes darting to the side.

Maddox huffs a laugh and trails his free hand from the wall to Hunter's jaw. He traces it slowly, tauntingly.

"Oh, you're such a fucking liar," he mutters, just barely loud enough for me to hear, so I lean forward like the voyeur I am. "I have one very important question for you, Rockstar, and this time, I need you to be brave for me. Can you do that? Not lie through your goddamn teeth for once."

The words are said in a soft coo, like he's trying to coax the confession from Hunter's mouth, but his meaning is clear. He's not one of us; after last night, he may never be.

Hunter's jaw ticks as he glares up at Madd. At some point, his hands, which were previously trying to push the larger man away, have tangled in his shirt like he can't decide if he wants him to fuck off or come closer.

"What?" He spits.

Madd watches his fingers continue their exploration over Hunter's face. His furrowed brows, his cheek, his jaw. If I didn't know any better, I'd say this is more than just a game to him right now. Finally, his grip lands on Hunter's chin and tightens painfully, making the other man wince.

"When you picture me naked, am I alone, or am I fucking my girl?" Hunter pales at Maddox's words, and unfortunately, so do I. It feels like his question is meant for both of us. "Do you wrap your fist around your cock as you fantasize about the way her body feels, the way she tastes? Do you picture her splayed out before me with my tongue buried in her sweet cunt as she cries out my name? My brother's?"

Hunter's cheeks turn bright red, and his expression morphs to one of pure fury. The sight of it only makes Maddox more gleeful. Hunter shrugs and shoves off Madd's touch with more strength than any of us have given him credit for.

"She's not just your girl," he snaps, righting his tux jacket as Madd casually steps away from him. "She shouldn't be yours at all."

"She sure as shit isn't yours." He slides his hands into his pants and leans against the couch, kicking one leg over the other like he has no worries in the world. Must be nice. "But you're right," he concedes, his lip tipping into a smirk. "Isabella belongs to my brothers and me, and she always will."

Hunter rolls his head from side to side before cracking his neck. "We'll fucking see," he mutters.

"You know what, Hunter? You're right. If you can get Ella to fall in love with your tortured ass after that shit you spilled last night, more power to you. I'll convince the guys to let you in on the little fucking harem she's collecting. I'll even vouch for you."

"Are you serious?" Hunter murmurs, hope lighting up his eyes. I feel sorry for the guy. He doesn't know Maddox like I do. He has no idea that he's being played right now.

Madd bobs his head. "Sure thing, Rockstar. If she falls in love with you, like real fucking love, the way she loves the rest of us, you have my blessing." His shoulder bumps into mine, once again pulling me into something I want nothing to do with. "You have both of ours."

"Jesus," I sigh, running a hand through my hair. I cringe, remembering I'd put product in it tonight to keep the much shorter strands in place. "You two sound like you're fighting over a toy on the playground. Grow the fuck up. Ella's not an object to argue over. She's a human and perfectly capable of making her own decisions."

They both turn to stare at me with matching, confused expressions, but it's Maddox who speaks first. He slaps my shoulder and barks out a laugh.

"Damn, if I woulda known all it'd take to get your head out of your ass was a swanky haircut, I would have fucked with you a long time ago."

"Shut up," I snap, shooting them both glares. "I'm not kidding. She can be with and love whoever the fuck she wants. Christ knows she deserves it after all she's been through."

Hunter scoffs. "Yeah, you'd know all about that, wouldn't you." I swallow thickly. "You've made her life ten times worse, and what, now that you know where she came from and how bad it actually was, you feel guilty?"

"Yes," I say, not missing a beat. "I do. But I've felt guilty from day one. Even when I was convincing her to get off that bridge, I felt guilty. She's pure light, and there I was, the Devil's right hand, offering her a second chance while also inflicting her with my poison."

I choke out a humorless laugh as the past few years come tumbling down around me. Flashes of Carolina. Mom. Ella. Macabre clips of my brothers and I forcing women into the back of U-Hauls and big rigs. Crossing state lines and stealing them from their families.

Even if we were forced to do so, we still did it.

We may have ultimately saved them in the end, but we're responsible for their trauma. For taking them from their homes and families. Bringing more guns into the city. More drugs.

We're not good men. We try to be, yet at our cores, we're as rotten as they come.

But then I think of Ella. I think of the way she's changing our family, our dynamics. The way she's healing every single one of us. How she knows our demons—our sins and embraces us anyway. I think of the way she smiles at them. At me. The way she loves.

I blink.

And blink again.

What I just told them, the way I defended her without pause—I meant those words. She's an adult. She can make her own choices. She's brave, strong, kind, and beautiful. She deserves the world, and I...

I want to be a part of hers.

Like a tsunami colliding with my body, clarity washes over me with a force that nearly knocks me to my knees.

I love her. I've known that from the beginning, but the realization that I love her with every fiber of my being, enough to let my walls down and show her how ugly I am inside, is crippling.

It makes me feel like I'm dying, but the knowledge that I'm ready to do it anyway startles me.

I want her by my side, even if she's next to theirs, as well.

More than that, I need her.

She can make her own choices, but first, I have to come clean.

About everything.