25. TWENTY-FIVE

TWENTY-FIVE

" W hy is that girl following Luca?"

"What?" Declan asks. He throws his arm around me, and I curl into his side, sipping a gin and tonic beside the pool. "What are you talking about?"

Apparently, Eli invited half of the people in line for the signing back to the hotel. It turned into this huge fucking thing. He got a DJ to set up and everything, and now he's fucking some girl in the shallow end of the pool.

I guess he deserves to enjoy his last night.

But I'm drunk and horny and grumpy because I'm not getting what I want and because those girls with the cuts on their chests are everywhere. I feel exposed.

Luca is being his usual social self, but I'm tired. And yeah, maybe a little paranoid when it comes to him. I can't explain it, but I also can't help it. It's more than jealousy or possessiveness; he's mine, and I feel like I need to protect him.

"The blonde girl with the ponytail," I tell him. "She's been following him for like twenty minutes, standing right behind him. She looks familiar."

"I'm really confused about what you're suggesting," Declan says. "There's only one reason she's following Luca, and she probably looks familiar because you saw her at the concert."

"She's not dressed like she went to the concert."

"So, she changed her fucking clothes. You really need to relax, Teagan. The paranoia you have surrounding Luca is very unusual. Remember the last time you did this, and you had nothing to worry about? He won't stop loving you because some girl in a hoodie is stalking him at a party. You're all mine tonight, anyway."

I watch her following him from about five feet back as he makes his way over to us. Once he sits next to Declan, she stops and turns away.

"You okay, Teagan?" Luca asks.

"Yeah," I tell him. "I'm just tired."

"Teagan is finally tired of the party," Luca says. "Who would have thought the day would come?"

"What happened to Reno Teagan?" Declan asks.

I nod in Luca's direction. "He gave her drugs," I grumble. "I didn't take any drugs today."

"I could get you some drugs if you want, honey," Luca says.

"No, she doesn't need any fucking drugs," Declan tells him. "She's fine. We'll go upstairs soon, okay?"

"Hey, Luca? Can I have your shirt?"

He grabs the hem and pulls it up over his stomach before Declan stops him.

"Don't give her your shirt," he says. "She's fine. You look so pretty, Teagan. And you like your scars, so stop."

"I thought you were just cold," Luca says, shaking his head. "That's just cold, Teagan. I played tonight with your initial on my chest."

I sigh. "I know. And I liked it. I am cold, though."

I climb over Declan and into Luca's lap, straddling him and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I've got something in my pocket that would warm you up," Luca says.

"Yeah? Give it to me," I tell him.

"No," Declan snaps.

"Literally in my pocket," Luca clarifies. "It's just a tiny bit of cocaine; it won't hurt her. You've got friends now, baby; you want to do some drugs with me?"

I turn to Declan. "Can I have drugs? Please?"

"Fine. But only because you asked for permission nicely," Declan says. He runs his fingers through my hair before pushing it away from my chest and over my shoulders. His eyes drop to the scars on my chest, lingering there before he circles one of my hard nipples through my thin tank top with his thumb. "You'll get what you want a lot more being sweet like that."

"But she's black licorice," Luca says. "She can't be too sweet, or she'll poison you."

"Mmm…too late for that," Declan tells him. "Go do your drugs—just bring her back to me in a timely manner. I'm about sick of this shit, too."

Luca takes my hand and pulls me behind him toward the bathroom. I catch the eyes of the girl with the blonde ponytail before she pulls her hood over her head.

She does look familiar, and it's not just because I saw her at the concert. I didn't see anyone at the concert. I was in the front row with my family, much drunker than I am now, and I only looked at them.

How could I notice anything else?

We step into the men's restroom, which, although significantly filthier than the women's, is probably a good choice. This one is empty, and almost everyone here is female.

"Where's that pretty little knife of yours?" Luca asks.

It's loud in here—so loud he still has to shout for me to hear him. The walls vibrate from the music blaring through the speakers outside.

I point to my right tit. "Right here."

"Ah, I see." He reaches inside my shirt, taking his time searching for it. "That's really pretty, Teagan," he says, pulling it out. "Pretty knife for a pretty girl."

He flips the blade open and runs the flat side just under my jawbone. I don't even feel the cut, but I feel the blood when it starts running down my throat.

"Whoops…damn. That's sharp as fuck."

He uses a fist full of my hair to tilt my head back before licking and sucking the area clean. "You taste so good," he says. "The only thing sweeter than your blood is your pussy. I could drink you all day."

Both his mouth against my throat and his words pull a desperate whimper from me. "Luca…"

"All right, fuck," he groans, handing me the blade. "Hold this out flat—like this." He takes my wrist in his hand and turns it so that the blade is horizontal, with the flat part facing upward. Then, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small plastic bag with white powder inside.

"Hold it still," he says. He opens the bag and carefully taps the side until a small amount spills out onto the blade. "You know what to do?"

"Yeah," I tell him. "I've seen it before."

He wraps his hand around my own to help steady the blade. "Go for it then."

I plug my left nostril and lean down, snorting the white substance. By the time I'm finished, my tongue is numb and my right eye is watering.

"You good?" he asks. "It should kick in pretty fast, especially since you've never done it before."

"Yeah," I tell him, smiling. "I'm good."

He smiles, laughing just a little. "Okay. Hold it for me now."

He spills a much larger amount onto the blade in a line for himself and then does the same thing.

"Shit," he says. He tilts his head back and runs his hands over his face a couple of times. "I think you're going to like this, Teagan. I'd better put you back now. Come on."

He takes my hand in his, but before we can leave, someone else steps into the bathroom.

The girl with the ponytail. The one who's been following him.

My heart thuds in my chest, and it's not just the drugs. I know who she is now; I know why I recognize her. I saw her picture online months ago, before I—or before Declan—started all of this.

Unfazed and completely unaware, Luca nods in her direction as he attempts to step around her. "Sup?"

She spits the word back at him as she moves in front of the door. "Sup?! Really?"

"Luca…" I say softly. "That's Heidi's sister."

"Oh, shit," he says. And then he laughs—he fucking laughs. "Sorry about all of that; I hope she gets better."

"What the fuck is funny about this!?" She pulls a gun from under her sweatshirt and points it right at him. "What is funny about any of this?"

Tears leak from her eyes and her arms shake while she holds the weapon in front of her, her jaw clenched tight. I'm hyper-aware of all of it. I suddenly realize I'm still holding the knife in my right hand—she's so fixated on him that she hasn't noticed yet. I flip the blade and tighten my grip on the handle.

"I'm sorry, I'm just really fucked up right now," he says, covering his mouth to suppress another laugh. "Are you going to kill me or something?"

"Luca…stop…laughing. He's sorry," I tell her. "I'm sorry about what happened to your sister. Please, don't do anything stupid."

"He's not sorry. He's a monster," she says. "Nothing happened to her—he did it to her! You ruined her, and you ruined my family!"

"Okay, just calm down," Luca says. "You're not going to sh—"

But she is going to shoot him. I see the muscles in her hand flex before he can finish his sentence and shove her to the side just as she squeezes the trigger. As the gun goes off, I drive the blade into her stomach with as much force as I can get behind it. I hear the weapon fall to the ground, sliding across the tile. I stab her again, and this time, she slides down the wall of the bathroom onto the floor.

Overcome with rage, I straddle her waist and drive the knife into her chest, over and over again—I don't know how many times—even though she stopped moving and stopped fighting a long time ago. Blood splatters over the front of me and soaks the floor around me, and I don't stop. I can't…not until I feel Luca's hand on my shoulder.

I forgot about him. How could I forget about him?

I look down at my body and the one beneath me. I'm covered in blood, head-to-toe. And so is she.

She's dead. I killed her.

"Teagan, I need help," Luca says.

I finally whip around to face him; he has his hand covering a spot on his shoulder, his dark shirt wet with blood.

"Oh my god!"

"It's not that bad," he grunts. "But I need help. Can you get my phone out of my front pocket?"

"Um…yeah."

Before I can move, the door opens; my heart drops into my stomach.

"Holy shit," Declan says, quickly slamming it shut. "What the fuck is this? What did you do, Teagan?"

"She was Heidi's sister," Luca groans. "She fucking shot me."

Declan finally looks from me and the bloodied body beneath me to Luca. But I'm stuck on the word was. They're talking—going back and forth. I'm aware of their voices, but whatever they're saying just sloshes around in my head; I can't make any of it out over the sound of my own blood pumping in my ears, the word was at full volume echoing through my brain.

She was Heidi's sister.

She was a person.

Now, she's a bag of meat and bones on a dirty bathroom floor.

I killed someone.

The grey hoodie is nothing but a tattered, shredded mess, saturated in blood. I must have stabbed her—I don't know—thirty times.

I didn't have to. I could have gone for help after I got the gun away from her, but I didn't. I liked the way it felt when the knife cut through her flesh, I liked the sound it made.

I liked the way it made me feel. So, I didn't stop.

I didn't mean to.

"I'm not a bad person," I say aloud. "I'm not a bad person. I'm not a bad person. I'm not bad."

"Of course you're not, sweetheart," Declan says. He kneels beside me and takes the knife from my hand. "You're perfect, Teagan. You're an angel—you saved him. You did so good."

"Really?"

"Yes." He kisses me on my forehead. "I'm so proud of you. You look so pretty like this."

I breathe a sigh of relief and finally let out a sob. "You're not going to hurt me?"

"No, kitten. Why would I hurt you?"

"I caused a problem. I…made a mess."

Someone bangs on the bathroom door with their fist, and I jump, panicking.

"It's just River," he says. "I called her; it's okay. Riv?"

"Yeah, it's me," she says through the door.

He turns the bolt and opens the door just enough for her to step inside.

"Oh, fuck," she says. "Teagan…"

I see fear in her blue eyes. She's fucking terrified; it hurts.

"I didn't mean to," I tell her through tears. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about her," Declan says. "He's been shot—look at him."

She turns her attention away from me and to Luca instead. Declan holds out a hand to me and pulls me to my feet as River kneels on the ground beside Luca.

He holds his shirt against the wound, blood pours down his now-bare chest. River moves the shirt to the side to get a look at the bullet hole.

"I mean…it went straight through," she says. "It doesn't look like it hit a major artery or anything, or we'd know. But…Declan, I'm not a doctor. I can't treat gunshot wounds like this. He needs a real doctor."

"I'll take care of it," Declan says. "I'm going to make a few calls and get rid of all these fucking assholes. Lock the door behind me, Teagan, and stay put."

"Am I going to go to jail?" I ask him.

"Of course not," he says. "Do you really think I would let anything like that happen to you? I'm going to take care of it, Teagan—everything will be okay. Trust me."

He leaves, and I bolt the door behind him as promised. I sit on the other side of Luca, and he takes my hand in his.

"Luca, you really need to lie down," River tells him.

"Fuck that," he says. "This is a fucking dirty ass men's restroom."

"It doesn't matter. You're going to faint if you don't. I'm surprised you haven't already."

"I did a lot of cocaine."

"Yeah, that's not helping you. Lie down."

"Fuuuuuck," he groans as he slides down onto the floor. "This is the worst part of the whole night."

I can't help but laugh. I try not to—I know River doesn't think any of this is funny. I know none of this is funny, but I'm in shock, I'm high, and I'm shaking everywhere.

"This is the worst part? You got shot," River snaps.

"Yeah, but now I have to lay in a bunch of dudes' fucking piss and shit and cum. It's going to get in the fucking hole! It's going to become a part of me. Teagan, it's going to change my DNA."

I'm hysterical now; I can't stop laughing, I can't stop crying. I slide down the wall and rest my head on his chest, shaking with silent laughter.

"It doesn't fucking work like that," River sneers. "It probably will get infected, though, so maybe you should both stop laughing. It isn't fucking funny. You murdered someone, Teagan."

Now, I do stop.

"Bro, you did," Luca says. "You stabbed her like a million times—it was crazy. You look like Carrie on prom night right now. I think I'm getting hard."

"Luca—stop fucking talking!" River shouts.

"River?" I wait for her to look at me before I continue. "I'm sorry. I—she was going to kill him. She shot him, and I already had the knife in my hand. Please don't hate me. I love you. You…you said death was beautiful."

"This is murder, Teagan. Look at her—we don't even know her. This is…this is different."

"That's Heidi's sister, Riv," Luca says. "She was going to kill me. Teagan saved me."

"What did I tell you about talking, Luca?" she says. "I don't hate you, Teagan. This is just…a lot. I know you're both fucking coked out or whatever, but I need it to be quiet for a minute. I need you two to muster whatever fucking sense you have right now and be quiet because I'm fucking scared; I really don't see how we're getting out of this one."

"All right—sorry for getting shot."

"God damn it, Luca!" she shouts before punching the stall door with her hand. "Fuck!"

"Luca…" I look at him and shake my head.

Once we're quiet, I realize it's quiet outside the bathroom, too. Declan must have gotten rid of everyone like he said he would. I'm not sure how much time passes while we're waiting—half an hour, maybe an hour? However long it is, I know Luca stays awake for all of it, and eventually, River asks us questions about what happened. She listens, taking it in with minimal reaction until we're done.

Then, she says, solemnly, "I guess we should have just killed Heidi. We're all fucked now."

"This is what I get for trying to be the good guy," Luca says.

"The good guy? Luca, I love you, but you're still not the good guy here," she says.

"He's not a bad person," I snap.

I'm not a bad person.

"Teagan, open the door," Declan says.

I look at them both and then move toward the door. After I turn the bolt, he pulls it open.

The first thing I notice is that all the lights are off outside, including those typically illuminating the pool.

The second thing I notice is the three men behind him, dressed in all black and wearing those gold masks like the ones at the house in the mountains.

I don't breathe as they pass me, filing into the bathroom behind Declan.

One of the three helps Declan pull Luca to his feet. The masked man kneels and removes some clothing from a backpack.

"Girls, help him get these bloody clothes off and get changed," Declan says. "Then, Luca, you're going to follow them out the side gate; there's a van waiting for you. They're going to take you to a doctor."

"By himself?" I ask, helping him into the black sweats.

"I'll be fine, Teagan," Luca says.

The same masked man who gave Luca the clothes bandages his wound before pulling the black hoodie over his head. He hands Luca a pair of shoes and still says nothing. Declan speaks for him instead.

"Don't put them on yet—drop them just outside the door, and then slip your feet into them. Try not to step in any blood."

I look down and realize the others have plastic booties covering their shoes. Luca moves toward the door, and only the one masked man follows. The other two seem to be waiting for something else, standing over Heidi's sister's body.

"Luca, I love you," I tell him. My lower lip quivers, and I bite it, hoping to hold back the tears.

"I love you, too. Don't worry—all right? It'll be okay."

I watch him drop the shoes outside the door and slip into them as instructed, and then the masked man follows him out, removing the plastic from his shoes and leaving it behind.

Once the door closes, one of the masked men clicks his tongue until I look at him. Cold, dark eyes stare at me from behind tiny circular holes in the gold surface. He points at the body and then holds up one finger on his gloved hand and waves it at me in a 'no' gesture, the way you might scold a child.

It's bone-chilling.

The third masked man takes a few steps forward until only centimeters separate him from River.

"You two are next," Declan says. "Everything off."

"Declan," River pleads, looking instead at the man beside her. "I don't want to. I'm not even that bloody; it's not on my clothes."

"You two have to move through the hotel. We can't risk bringing DNA through there—you need to be clean."

"But Declan—"

"Riv, you can do it now and make it easy, or you can make this hard, and I'll let them undress you…after I make you watch how they get that body to fit into"—he pauses, pointing at a small, black plastic carry-on suitcase—"that bag. Then, you'll be picking pieces of whatever-her-fucking-name-is out of your eyes. Take. Your. Fucking. Clothes. Off. Be naked by the time I step back in here."

Wait…what?

He turns to the door and then sighs, turning back to the man looming over River. "Give her a little bit of space," he says. "She's afraid of men."

He takes a step back, gesturing between River and Declan.

"No, not me," Declan says. "But most other men."

I almost throw up when he disappears out the door, leaving us alone…with them.

The man to her right leans against the bathroom stall and snaps his fingers, and she cries as she slowly undresses. The one who wagged his finger at me kneels beside the body, assembling something from inside his bag.

I've never seen one before, but I'm pretty sure it's a bone saw.

That's how they're going to get her in the plastic box.

"I'm sorry, River," I tell her as I remove my own clothes.

She doesn't reply, keeping her eyes fixed on the floor in front of her.

We're both fully naked when Declan steps back inside the bathroom, dragging a hose behind him.

"Quite frankly, Riv, I'm offended that you think I'd let anything happen to my girls. Teagan, you're familiar with this," he says. "Want to go first?"

I shrug and step in front of him. At least it's not freezing in here.

But it doesn't feel good. It takes much longer to spray me down than it did that night in the woods. I stare at my feet, watching the bloody water run down my body and then to a drain in the floor until he moves on to River.

My heart aches watching her cry through the entire process, head down with her arms crossed over her chest, and plead with any cosmic force that might be listening for it to be over soon.

When he's finished, he turns off the lights, and the masked man standing with River takes out a blacklight and runs it over our bodies. Declan cleans away any lingering blood stains and then stops on my nails.

Of course, it's caked under every single one.

The masked man removes a nail kit from his bag, handing it to Declan. He takes out a pair of clippers and trims my nails down to the quick—until they're painfully short—and then scrubs the raw skin clean. River loses most of the nails on her right hand, too.

Then, we're both given a pair of black shorts and a couple of t-shirts. I step into the shorts and then pull the shirt over my head. On the front of the shirt is a woman with comically large tits, the words 'Everything is bigger in Texas!' in bold font underneath her.

If Luca were here, I'd tell him this is the worst part of my night.

I sigh, shaking my head as I look up from the ridiculous fucking shirt and see the masked man holding the bone saw watching me, shaking with silent laughter.

I cock my head to the side. "Really, Bone Saw?" I deadpan.

Still laughing, Bone Saw gets Declan's attention before pointing to me and making the chef's kiss motion with his hand.

"Yeah, no. She's mine," Declan says, handing River and me each a pair of sandals. "Don't put them on until you get out the door. Then, go through the side gate and the hotel's back entrance. Take the stairs up to our floor and wait in my room for me. Keep your heads down, and don't talk before you're in the room. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it," I tell him.

"River?" he presses.

"Yes," she replies weakly.

Declan hands me the key after we both step into our sandals, and we make our way out the side gate and around the back of the building.

"River?"

"He said not to talk," she says softly.

If River hates me, then what am I going to do? It's not like I wanted to kill her—I'm not dangerous, I didn't plan this. I certainly didn't mean to get her sucked into it. I think the image of River—free-spirited, loving, eternal optimist River—sobbing, naked, and terrified in the bathroom will haunt me just as much as that tattered, blood-soaked grey sweatshirt.

I can't fucking breathe.

I saved Luca.

I'm not a bad person.

It's not my fault.

I'm sobbing by the time we get to the staircase.

When we finally make it to the top floor and into the hotel room, Hazel is there waiting for us.

"Oh, thank god!" she says, jumping off the couch and crossing the room in half the number of strides it typically takes.

She throws her arms around River, who sinks into her, weeping against her chest. "It's okay," Hazel says, stroking her hair, kissing her. "You're safe now. I'm so sorry, Riv. Come sit down, okay? Sit."

She rubs River's back as she guides her over to the couch. "What happened?" Hazel asks her. "Tell me everything."

I stay there in the doorway for a few minutes, watching them, before I realize I'm not wanted here right now. I did this—it's my fault. I don't deserve comfort.

Lowering my gaze, I walk back to the bedroom, closing the door behind me.

I crawl under the covers and replay the scene over and over again in my head until I fall asleep.