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14. FOURTEEN

FOURTEEN

T he four of us spend the day doing touristy shit downtown before taking a bus to the concert venue. We slip in through a backdoor and then into a room backstage, where Rhett brings us all beer before kissing Brady and quickly leaving the room.

I take off my flannel and tie it around my waist, warm from both the change in temperature and the slight buzz I already have from our stop for dinner. I adjust my skirt, then sit on the sofa, curling my legs under me.

I don't see the others, but I can't help but look for them. Each time I hear footsteps in the hallway, my eyes dart toward the door.

I think I miss Luca.

Hazel sits on the other side of the sofa, and River lies across both of us with her head in Hazel's lap and her feet on mine. River closes her eyes as Hazel runs her fingers through her hair.

See? I know what love looks like.

I must be staring, lost in thought because Hazel's voice startles me. "Teagan? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I tell her. "I just…had a really good day, that's all. I've never really had friends before, and I've only ever traveled alone or with my parents, so I don't usually do stuff like this. It was fun."

"Well, we're family," River says. "Every day can be like this."

"How do you deal with your own families?" I ask.

"What do you mean?"

"Like…my parents and my sister. They're upset. They think I'm crazy; they want me to come home. I don't think they'll ever be supportive or understanding…you know? They think I have problems anyway."

"Well, what kind of problems?" River asks.

"Like…social problems."

"We don't really have families outside of this one," Brady says.

"River and I met in a foster home in high school," Hazel says. "Brady's dad threw him out when he was seventeen, and they haven't spoken to him since."

"Oh…I'm sorry."

"Yeah, so. We can't really relate to you in that respect. But…they're your family, right? You told us that your sister is your friend. And you're their child, so…they want you to be happy. Just tell them you're happy," River says.

Brady laughs hard. "Oh, god," he says. "That's a good one, Riv. I swear to god, you have to be perpetually fucking high for some of this shit to come out of your mouth."

"What?" River says. "It's true, right?"

"It's a nice idea, baby," Hazel says.

"They're letting people in," Brady says. "We should go out there."

"I'm going to use the restroom back here first," I tell them. "I don't want to wait for the one out there later. I'll meet you guys out there."

I grab my purse and walk down the hallway toward the bathrooms I passed earlier. I'm on my way back out when a security guard grabs me by the arm. "How the hell did you get back here? You're not supposed to be back here," he says.

"I'm with the band," I say, trying to slip out of his grip. "You're hurting my arm—let go of me."

"I don't think so," he says. "You know what, though? If you show me your tits, I'll let you back into the show. And if you suck my dick, I'll let you backstage afterward."

"No! Get off of me!"

"Come on," he says. "This isn't my first time working a Gods of Tomorrow concert. I know how you all are. What is it they call you? Bloodsluts?"

"I'm not a fucking bloodslut."

"I could just make you, you know."

"Hey!" Declan shouts. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Small security breach. Just escorting her out," he says. "Sorry for the commotion."

Declan grabs the man by the collar of his shirt. "Get your fucking hands off of her before I slit your throat and watch you bleed out like the pig you are," he says through clenched teeth. "She's my fucking family. Don't touch her, don't even fucking look at her."

Free of his grip, I back myself into the wall and stay there frozen while Declan looks down at the shorter man like he's going to rip him to shreds.

The rage-filled look in his eyes looks good on him when it isn't directed toward me.

"I-I'm sorry, man," the guy says. "I didn't realize you knew her."

"Why are you still standing here!?" he yells. "I'm about to slice you open just for fun now—get the fuck out of my face!"

I look at the security guard and smirk, flipping him my middle finger before he scurries away.

"Are you okay?" Declan asks. He closes the space between us and runs his hand over my arm—the one the security guard had in his grip.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good."

He reaches for me and tips my chin up with his thumb. "Hold still," he says. "Close your eyes."

"Um, okay…"

I close them and hold my breath while his finger brushes against my cheek, just under my left eye.

"Open," he says.

"What are you—"

"It was an eyelash," Declan says. It sits on his finger, and he brings it to my lips. "Make a wish."

I look up at him and blow.

"Hope it was a good one," he says.

"Yeah, we'll see."

"Come on, I'll walk you back."

"Yeah…okay. Thanks."

He's getting under my skin. Just like Alana said.

"I have a surprise for you," Declan says as we walk. He reaches for my hand, and, without thinking, I jerk it away, pretending I need to adjust the flannel tied around my waist.

"You don't need to be afraid of me, Teagan. I won't hurt you."

"You hurt me the other day."

"I punished you the other day because you needed it. And you liked it. Are we really going to pretend it didn't make your pussy so wet you had to run and jump on my brother's dick to deal with it?"

"I…I don't—"

"Hey, Teag."

When I look up and see Luca, I breathe an audible sigh of relief. I know Declan hears it, and he doesn't look happy.

"Hey."

When I get to him, he leans down and kisses me, then pulls me into his chest. I wrap my arms around the shirtless rockstar version of him and close my eyes, breathing him in.

He's under my skin, too.

"What's going on?" Luca asks.

"Nothing," I tell him. "Some security guard told me that he was going to throw me out if I didn't show him my tits and suck his dick. Declan took care of it."

"He said what now?" Declan asks. "You didn't fucking tell me that."

I shrug. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"We have to go," Eli says as he and Rhett breeze past us.

"All right. Second door, Teagan," Declan says, pointing behind him.

"I'll see you after the show," Luca says.

I stand on my toes and kiss him again, then head through that second door. I almost resist looking over my shoulder when I feel Declan's eyes on me.

Almost.

There's another one of those private parties like the one in Los Angeles after the concert. I've been at the bar for fifteen minutes already by the time the band enters. And when they do, it's like a vacuum sucking all the energy out of the room. Declan leads the group through the club, greeting fans, taking photos. I catch his eye, and he shoots me an enigmatic glare, but I don't look away. Just like when he was on stage tonight, I can't stop watching him. I've seen the show live three times now, but he was different tonight.

He was different in the hallway earlier, too.

But when he passes me now, almost close enough to brush shoulders, he doesn't say a word.

"Teagan!" Luca shouts, gesturing for me to follow him.

I slide into a booth between River and Luca and watch Declan watch me, leaning against the bar on the other side of the room.

"Are you okay?" River asks.

"Yeah," I tell her. "I think maybe I'm just a little too sober for this."

"Well, we can fix that," she says.

Luca grabs a bottle of vodka from the center of the table. "Open up like a good girl, Teagan," he says.

I smile, thinking of the first time we met, and do what he says, tipping my head back and closing my lips around the bottle. He tilts it into my mouth and doesn't stop pouring; I swallow three times before I have to break away, and vodka runs down my chin and chest.

"Fuck," I cough.

"You'll be okay," he says. "You're sturdy, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

As I wipe my mouth with my hand, my eyes find the bar again. I watch girls take pictures of themselves with test tubes full of blood or spill them down the front of their shirts and lick it off of each other.

"Why do you guys do this?" I ask.

"Do what?" Luca asks.

"Serve drinks with blood here. They're not like you, right?"

"Some of them are, or they will be after tonight, and that's because of us. But to be honest, sharing this part of ourselves has a lot to do with aesthetics," Rhett says. "Those videos they're making are going to get millions of views. That's good for us. And it makes them feel like they're badass for a minute. People pay a lot of money to come to these parties for that reason."

"How much did it cost you, Teagan?" Brady asks.

"Um, nothing," I tell them. "Someone gifted me the ticket, actually."

I watch Declan take pictures with a girl at the bar, who then reaches down the front of his pants and starts stroking his cock. He leans in and kisses her on the mouth until her friend pulls his head back and brings his lips to her own. I watch him slide his hand up the back of her thigh and push up her dress, gripping her ass forcefully.

She isn't wearing any underwear.

Declan pulls away and reaches into his pocket. He takes out his knife, flips it open, and sets it on the table between the two girls. I wish I could tell what he's saying to them, but I can't. They look at him, then at each other, then the girl who had been stroking his dick picks up the knife and drags it across her wrist.

"What are you looking at, baby?" Luca asks.

"The same thing you're looking at, probably," I say.

Declan brings her wrist to his mouth and licks it clean, then offers it to the friend to do the same. She hesitates, and Declan reaches out and runs his thumb over her lips to part them, whispering something in her ear. Then, she lowers her mouth to her friend's wrist while Declan strokes her hair.

"Is it making you wet?" Luca whispers into my ear. "It's making me hard."

Yeah, it is. That and River running her fingertips up and down the inside of my thigh under the table. She's watching them, too, fixated, biting her lip. Her nipples are hard points under a top that barely covers them.

When the girl with Declan pulls her mouth away from her friend's wrist, Declan grabs the knife from the table, nods for them to follow him, and leaves the room.

I lean against River, pressing my lips to her bare shoulder. "I thought you said Declan never fucks them."

"He doesn't," River says. "He must be in a bad mood."

I let my legs fall open a little more as her hand travels further up my thigh until she reaches my panties. Softly, she trails her fingers up and down the thin fabric covering my pussy.

I suck in a breath.

"Probably upset about Alana," Hazel adds.

"Or…Teagan hurt his feelings," Luca says.

I shoot him a puzzled look. "What?"

"Did you hurt his feelings, baby?" he asks.

"No, I didn't do anything to him," I tell him.

"Maybe that's what hurt his feelings. Come here."

He grabs the bottle of vodka from the table and brings it to my mouth, again holding it there until I'm forced to pull away. Vodka spills down my chin and onto my chest.

"Jesus, Luca," I say, coughing. "I think I'm good now."

"Help her clean that up, Riv," he says.

She presses her mouth to my skin, trailing kisses down my throat before running her tongue down my cleavage. Luca runs his hands over my shoulders, removing both the straps from my tank top and my bra, and she moves her mouth to my nipple.

I'm bare. Exposed in this semi-dark space in front of all of them. But it feels good, and I don't want her to stop.

Luca guides my hand to his cock. "See how hard it makes me to see you choke like that?" he says. "I need you choking on my dick like that now, Teagan."

"Can we go somewhere?" I ask breathlessly, stroking him in my hand.

"No," he says. "You can put me in your pretty mouth, and the rest of the people here will barely notice…or I'll push up that skirt and shove my cock up your ass and everyone can listen to you scream. Your choice. You know I'll do it, baby."

"Okay," I say. I turn, pulling my knees under my body, then lower my head and take him in my mouth.

"Oh, fuck," he groans. "There you go."

He grabs me by my hair, setting the pace with that fist, pushing me down until the head hits the back of my throat and my eyes water.

"Holy shit, Luca," Rhett says.

"She doesn't mind," Luca says. "Teagan's a good girl for me. She's my angel, aren't you?"

Hands on my hips push up my skirt, then move my thong aside. Then, fingers sink into my pussy, and I moan around his dick, causing him to thrust upward into my mouth.

"Are you sure she's an angel?" River asks, moving her fingers in and out of me. "Because she's wet as fuck from sucking your dick."

"Fuck," Luca says. "Nod if you like that, baby."

I feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment, but I nod with his cock in my mouth anyway.

"I'm going to lick your clit now," River says.

When her tongue runs over my clit, I freeze. Waves of pleasure send goosebumps up my spine, and I let out a muffled cry. Luca takes over setting the pace again with that hand in my hair.

"Don't stop, baby, or I'll make her stop, too."

I tighten my grip on his cock and start working him again with my mouth, sucking him and pumping his dick in my fist while River sucks on me. Her tongue circles my clit with the kind of precision that has me arching my back, silently begging for more.

"You like that, Teagan?" Luca groans. "You're dripping down her fucking face, baby."

"Mmm," I moan, and my legs start to shake.

"She fucking loves it, don't you, Riv?"

"Mmhmm," she moans against my pussy. "Your angel tastes like heaven."

She buries her face back inside me, sucking my clit into her mouth, nuzzling her entire fucking face into me while she flicks it with her tongue, and I explode, digging my nails into Luca's thighs as the orgasm wracks my body.

"Don't stop, Teagan," he says again, my cries muffled by his cock. He uses my mouth while I wriggle my hips against her face. My pussy is still pulsing when she pulls away, still dripping and exposed.

Luca's cock jumps in my fist, and I refocus my attention, taking him deep into my throat and quickening my pace.

"Just like that, Teagan. Oh, fuck," he groans. "There you go baby, take it all."

With a firm grip on my hair, he comes against the back of my throat.

"Keep it in your throat, Teagan," he says. "Get every drop, or you're licking it up."

I suck and swallow until he finally releases me, and then I sit up, pull my skirt down and try to catch my breath. I look around the table and feel my cheeks flushing redder than they already are. Luca throws his arm around my shoulders and kisses my neck.

"So, who eats pussy better?" Hazel asks. "Out of the three of us."

"Don't fucking start that shit, Hazel," Luca says. "Don't answer that, Teagan."

"Hey."

I look up and see Eli standing at the end of the table, his arm around another girl I've never seen before. Guess he ditched the two he brought home—two-stop rule. He seems to like bloodsluts just fine. Exclusively, even.

"I didn't want to interrupt, but the cars are here," Eli says. "Let's get out of here."

We all file out of the booth, then through the back door and around to the front of the building. But I notice someone is missing.

I can't stop myself from asking. "What about Declan?"

"He left on his own," Eli says.

Two black town cars take us to the hotel, where we all pile into the elevator and up to the seventh floor. We start down the hallway together, me under Luca's arm. Declan stands in the doorway to one of the rooms, shirtless. His hair is wet like he just got out of the shower, but there's still some dried blood on the side of his neck. A pair of white joggers hang low around his waist—low enough that I can follow that deep 'v' below his abs until it gives way to trimmed dark hair.

He looks unsteady as he leans against the doorframe, his dark eyes glazed over like he's had far too much to drink. Which is hard to imagine—that Declan would relinquish control like that.

Well…except for when he lay in the grass next to Layla's dying body.

"Teagan," Declan says. "Come here."

"Um, why?"

"I told you—I have a surprise for you."

"Go, baby," Luca says, then leans down and whispers in my ear. "Don't hurt his feelings."

His hand drops to the small of my back, urging me toward Declan.

"What's the surprise?" I ask apprehensively.

Declan steps aside for me to enter the room and then closes the door behind us.

"Sit," he says, gesturing toward the bed.

I do as he asks, and he begins rifling through a bag next to the TV. He takes out a book, hands it to me, and then lies across the bed beside me.

"It's a first edition," he says. "I found it at the thrift store."

I hold the copy of Let the Right One In in my hand. "It's beautiful," I tell him. "Thank you."

"I should have let you grab some more books before we left," Declan says. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I have the Kindle app on my phone."

"Not the same, though, is it?" he asks. "You're always reading from hard copies in your videos."

"Yeah, someday, I want to have my own library like yours."

"You already do," he says. "What's mine is yours."

"Well, thanks. Um, I guess I should—"

"Read it to me, Teagan," Declan says.

Go. That's what I was about to say—I should go.

"I marked the spot where you left off. I like the way your voice sounds. Please?"

"Okay," I say softly, uncomfortable but also not sure I have a choice.

I pull my legs onto the bed, recline against a pillow, and then open the book to the place he'd marked, and begin reading.

Declan lays his head in my lap and wraps an arm around my thighs. I pause, holding my breath.

"Keep going," he says, closing his eyes.

I read a couple of chapters, and then I guess I must have fallen asleep because when I open my eyes, the room is dark, and I'm under the covers next to Declan, his warm breath on my neck.

I panic and slowly slide out of bed, then grab my purse and leave the room, closing the door softly behind me. Then, I walk to the room three doors down and tap my key, unlocking it.

Luca is asleep next to River and Hazel. I consider leaving, unsure if I'm intruding, but instead, decide to stay on the couch. I slip out of my skirt and into a pair of shorts and lie down.

"Teagan," Luca says, his voice raspy with sleep. "Come here, baby."

He pulls the covers back, and I crawl into the space between him and River. He wraps me in his arms and kisses me on the forehead.

"You feel so perfect in my arms. I lo—" he starts.

"Settle down, Luca," River says. "Let her sleep."

But I don't think I would have minded so much to hear it this time.

"Good night, Teagan," he says.

"Good night," I whisper. I kiss him on the lips, then lie down on his chest, exhaling slowly. I close my eyes and easily slip back into a deep sleep.

And when I dream, I dream of Declan…smiling as I slit my own throat.

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