12. TWELVE

TWELVE

I set my coffee on the kitchen table and slide into Luca's lap. He wraps his arms around me, and I reach back, threading my fingers into his hair—still wet from the shower like my own—and use it to bring his mouth to mine.

"Well, that's different," River says.

She and Hazel are making breakfast; everyone else is seated at the table or around the bar—Brady, Rhett, Alana, even Eli, a couple of extras I haven't seen before. But not Declan…not that it matters. I'm lost in the mouth of the tattooed rock god who's already growing hard again under my ass, running his hands over me while he teases me with his tongue.

"I licked her into submission," Luca says.

"Does that mean you're staying with us?" River says.

"Yes," Luca says.

"No," I tell them. "Declan said I have to leave. I'm, um, I'm going to the airport tonight when we get to Seattle."

And I mean it. Even if Declan didn't tell me I had to go, I'd be leaving. I have a life to get back to, I have bills to pay. I know what happened to Bridget, and I have a feeling Heidi, the girl they found in the woods, must have seen something like what I saw and made a run for it.

I got what I came for. Even if the answers aren't quite what I wanted. Maybe they aren't killers, but they are dangerous. Luca is dangerous, too. I know that.

Even if he did kind of ruin me with his tongue and his cock.

He pulls back, looks me in the eyes, and shakes his head. "You can't," he says softly.

Perhaps sensing the tension, Hazel interjects, "Well, if you do stay, you'll have to learn how to cook and start helping us around here."

She sets a stack of plates in the middle of the table and begins bringing over food.

"She won't have to do anything," Luca says. "I'll do it for her."

"Has she seen you angry yet, Luca?" Alana asks.

I feel his posture stiffen; his fingers dig into my hip bone.

"Yeah," I answer. "I have."

I take a sip of my coffee.

Declan walks in in only sweatpants, his hair disheveled. I've never seen him look anything less than completely put together or downright menacing, and it's jarring.

As his eyes settle on me, his expression hardens. I sink further into Luca as he rounds the table and sits in the empty chair beside us.

Declan fills a plate and, without looking up, says, "Luca, you and Eli need to go to the studio today and get some things ready. The bus will be here at three."

I check the time on the microwave. Four hours. Only four hours until I can have my phone—and my life—back.

I wonder what that will feel like. It's a relief, but…

I reach up and run my hand over Luca's stubbled cheek and kiss the other one.

Maybe I've grown a little attached to the monster. I blame the sickness in my bones.

We eat like that—mostly quiet. After I help everyone clean up and do the dishes, Luca and Eli leave, and I go upstairs to dress and pack.

I pull Luca's t-shirt over my head and look at the spread of new clothes laid out across the bed.

This is crazy. I can't fit all of this in my backpack. Not even close.

I slip into those black jeans with the slits on the upper thighs and a cropped long-sleeved top. I go to the bathroom and fix my hair and makeup, trying to decide what I should do about the clothes. I could ask Luca for a suitcase. He said he'd get me whatever I needed, right? But…

I go to the closet and, sure enough, there sits Layla's pink suitcase.

Is it wrong if I take it? It feels wrong, but it's just a suitcase. I'm sure it meant next to nothing to her. And what would they do with it now anyway?

Fuck it.

I grab it by the handle and bring it to the bed; I barely look at it while I throw the clothes inside, quietly apologizing to her as I do.

"She wouldn't have minded." I jump before I turn and see Declan leaning against the doorframe with his hands in his pockets. "She was always very selfless."

He enters the room and sits on the edge of the bed. I don't respond, continuing to pack the bag, feeling him watching me. When I'm finished, I grab a couple of books I'd taken from the library and set them on top, closing and zipping the bag slowly, waiting to see if he'll tell me I can't take them.

"What about this one?" Declan asks, holding up the Lovecraft book he'd given me a couple of days ago.

"I finished it the other day," I tell him.

"You didn't like it?"

"No, I liked it. I thought about it a lot, actually."

"What'd you think about?"

"I wondered what would happen if your world were discovered. If it became uninhabitable."

"It's already been discovered," he says. "These mountains aren't what I hide behind—it's wealth. We pay people not to look. But someday, society will return to its violent roots, and real power will actually matter again—and the people who are willing to take it. If I had one wish, it would be that I'd live long enough to see it."

"Well, good luck."

"And it's not just us, Teagan. There are thousands of us, and our reach is infinite. If you're leaving, you need to know that."

"Is that a threat?"

"Yes."

"I thought you said I had to leave."

"You can stay," he says, "if you want."

"What? Why?"

"Because…I think we can give you what you want."

"How do you know what I want?"

He shakes his head. "You told me, Teagan. Don't you remember? Freedom."

"Yeah," I tell him. "I remember."

"We're staying at a hotel downtown tonight. If you are going, let me know when you book your flight—I'll have a car take you to the airport."

"Um…thanks."

He stands and starts toward the door, then doubles back. He bends down, picks something up from the floor, and then takes it with him.

It's the bear—Layla's bear. The one she said he won for her at the fair.

"Hey, wait," I say.

He pauses at the door's threshold, waiting.

"Why didn't you tell her you loved her?" I ask. "When she was dying—why didn't you say it?"

"Because I cared about her too much to lie to her, Teagan," he says, then walks out, closing the door behind him.

I climb onto the bus and literally sigh with relief when Declan hands me my cell phone.

"You've got it that bad, huh?" he says.

I don't really know how to answer that. My entire life is on my phone. My existence in any way beyond surface level is pretty much exclusively in a digital space, so yeah. I guess I have it bad. I hold down the power button, then find a place to sit and wait impatiently for it to load.

"If you stay, you'll get used to it," Declan says. "You'll like it better. Everything is better without them."

"Yeah, I don't know about that," I tell him.

"It's true. People talk more, they learn more, they travel more, and they fuck more without them. Technology has lured us into existing complacently in sort of a half-life, fighting out natural instincts and urges because we can find something else almost good enough on a screen in our living rooms. Look around—everyone got their phones back, and you're the only one who has yours in your hands."

Luca sits beside me and throws his arm around my shoulders. "You should put your phone down. Have a drink instead."

"Let's watch more of Teagan's naked book videos," Brady says.

Everyone laughs but me. "I will jump out of this bus."

"Wait, go back," River says. "Declan, did you just say if she stayed? Is she staying?"

"That's up to her," he says.

"I can't," I say. "I have to go home. I have—"

I have what, exactly? I don't have any friends. I don't have a boyfriend or whatever Hunter was. I won't even have a place to live in a couple of weeks. If you ask my family, I don't have a job, either. I mean, fuck. I probably don't have a car anymore. I'm sure it's been towed from that parking garage by now.

"—my sister."

"Your older sister who's kicking you out and getting married in a few months?" Declan says. "What does she need from you?"

"I don't—how do you know all of that?"

"I make it a point to find out all I can about a person before I bring them to my home, Teagan," he replies flippantly before heading upstairs.

"What do we need to do to convince you to stay?" River asks.

"Maybe a repeat of the other night in the parlor," Hazel says.

"Yeah, maybe," I say.

"Is that all it'll take?" Luca asks. "Really?"

"I'm kidding," I say. "I really can't stay. I mean, what am I going to do?"

"Be with us," River says. "Be a family. That's all you have to do."

"We'll take care of you, Teagan. You won't have to worry about anything," Luca says.

"Tell me the thing you were going to tell me in the woods, and maybe I'll stay."

"Um. I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why is that?" I ask. "I told you my thing."

"Because…I believe in looking forward, not backward."

I raise an eyebrow and bite back a smile while the rest of them laugh.

"Do you now?"

"Yep."

"What thing did you tell him?" River asks.

"Nothing," I say. "Apparently, we're looking forward, so it doesn't matter."

"She told me her origin story," Luca says, pulling me into his lap. "Or part of it, at least."

"Oh, you mean what landed her here on the…what did Brady call it?" Hazel asks.

Rhett laughs. "Oh, it was…the fucking rolling island of misfit toys or some shit."

"That was it."

"I don't think you're a misfit toy," Luca says into my ear.

"River says you break all of your toys."

"You seem to be holding up okay," he says. "Don't leave me, Teagan."

"Would you cry if I died?"

"I'll cry like a fucking baby if you go home."

"Luca, are you giving her enough space? You know you can't…" River starts, trailing off.

"I did what you said," he tells her. "I gave her space. She came to me."

She gives him the side-eye, then looks at me.

"I did," I tell her. "I want him."

"Don't go home tonight," he says. "Let's go out somewhere…alone. You look so pretty."

"How? Won't people recognize you?"

"Nah," he says. "I'll wear my coat."

He's charming as fuck.

He shaved earlier, too. I place my hand on the side of his now-smooth face and miss the stubble already. He's got a backward hat on, and his tattoos are just barely visible at the neckline of his hoodie.

He almost looks like a normal twenty-two-year-old guy. Except I saw him that night in the woods, and I know exactly what he is. The arms wrapped around me now are the same ones that held me back while Layla bled out in the backyard. The green eyes looking into mine are the same ones that belong to the man I thought was going to kill me when I ran away from him in the woods but forced me to my knees instead.

Declan told me his origin story, too.

Still, he's the perfect trap—the perfect monster.

But maybe I'm the perfect trap for him, too, and I can make him better. It'll be…romantic.

"Hey," he says. "Are you going to answer me? What are you thinking about?"

"I'm wondering if I can fuck the crazy out of you."

He laughs. "God damn. You are black licorice, aren't you? You're going to kill me."

Not if you kill me first.

"I'll go out with you, Luca. I'll stay…at least for tonight."

I put my phone back in my bag without bothering to reply to my mom or Blakely. I don't even check my social media. I lean further into him, and he sighs.

"Thank you, Teagan," he says. "You'll be happy…I promise."

The weird thing is…I think maybe I am.