Chapter 25

TWENTY-FIVE

I held my breath until the last police officer stepped out of my house.

Having a record and serving two years in prison leaves you with a permanent fear of the police or anyone who has the ability to send you back into a five-by-five cell. Especially when your record will forever tell a lie.

The fear of never being believed will always live within me now.

But with Lennon as my witness, and the security cameras surrounding the house catching Maddox tampering with my generator before the power shut off, the police were easily able to gather a picture of what happened.

Maddox shut off the backup generator knowing that if the power went out, he'd be able to attack. They found his car parked on the street behind mine. It looked exactly like the car I'd seen in the parking garage the night I'd taken Adeline home from Exodus on Ember's birthday. The feeling that washed over me when they walked out the door after taking our statements and with Maddox in tow was indescribable.

I run my fingers under the heavy stream of water now, making sure it isn't too hot. While sitting on the edge of the claw foot bathtub in the spare bathroom, I glance over my shoulder and eye Adeline. She's leaning against the vanity with her arms crossed, staring at the floor. The cut on her cheek is stitched shut, with a white bandage taped over it. For now, we're avoiding the bedroom we've been sharing the past several weeks, and the bathroom connected to it. Once the tub is filled, I shut off the water and unbutton my shirt. I slip it off and remove my pants. In only my boxer briefs, I cross the room to Adeline.

She hasn't spoken much since she came home from the hospital. Shock has settled in, and now that the adrenaline has worn off, the world has come crashing down around us.

I still haven't worked my head around the fact Maddox did this.

For months, I thought Soren posed a threat, but I was wrong.

"Archer caught the soonest flight out of Austria." My voice breaks the silence in the room. "He should be here by morning."

"Wha—" Her voice catches in her throat. She clears it, never looking away from the floor. "What about Soren?"

"Archer assured me he paid off his debts and they both mutually agreed to end their business dealings."

Adeline scoffs, shaking her head. "Hard to believe he would let go of Archer that easily."

"Agreed." I blow out a hot breath. The metallic scent of dried blood and wet earth fill my nostrils.

"I'm glad he's out of that life, though." Adeline's bottom split lip quivers. "I hope he means it this time."

"Come on. Let's get cleaned up." Gently, I run my thumb down the side of her face and wrap my hands around the bottom of Adeline's shirt before lifting it over her head. Dried blood and dirt cover the blue fabric. I peel it away from her body, making sure not to scrape her cuts and abrasions.

I stifle a sharp breath when I see the bruises on her skin. A blue and purple bruise blooms across her ribs, over her flower tattoo. She wraps her arm around herself, covering it. Her brown eyes line with tears, and I want to destroy her pain. I wish I could reach inside and take it away. I see the grief in her expression, what she's lived through. Adeline isn't new to abuse, but seeing it up close ripped my soul to shreds.

I kneel in front of her and slide her jeans down her legs. The knees are torn, and mud is caked from her calves down. She allows me to undress her, never uttering a single word.

Once we're both completely naked, Adeline climbs into the bathtub after me. She sits between my legs and slides into place until her back is pressed against my chest, then she bends her legs and pulls them to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Turning her head, she rests her cheek on her knees, letting me wash her.

I dip her pouf into the soapy bath water and squeeze it over her back, watching the water stream down her spine. A million thoughts run through my mind. I want to say so many things to Adeline. I want to ask her questions. But sometimes, I know there isn't a need for words. Sometimes silence is all we desire.

I continue to gently wash Adeline's back, watching the dirt wash away, but the bruises never leave.

"I'm sorry, Micah." Her whispered apology catches me off guard.

My hand stills on her back. I drop the pouf into the water and press my hand gently against her skin.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I tell her, stunned she's apologizing.

"I do." She chokes back a sob and lifts her head before she spins around between my legs. She keeps her legs tucked and her arms wrapped around them. Her lip trembles as a tear slips from her beautiful eye. "I should have told you more about Maddox." She shakes her head and her eyes dart back and forth, as if she's trying to rationalize what's happened. "I should have been more careful."

I tilt my head to the side, imploring her to look at me. "Don't blame yourself."

Her mouth turns down as she cries, her tears soaking the bandage on her cheek. "I feel so stupid. I feel so stupid for falling for someone like him. And now..." Her voice trails, the words eventually evaporating in the air as she lifts her hand to her cheek. She doesn't quite reach it, barely ghosting her fingers above the bandage.

"Addy," I say, scooting closer. I wrap my arms around her and hold her. "This isn't your fault. You couldn't have known he would do this. And we'll get through it. You're strong."

She sobs into my chest, giving in and unraveling her arms around her legs. I hold her while she cries. I hold her until the water changes from hot to lukewarm. Her face is still pressed to my chest when she finally speaks again, and I run my fingers through her hair

"Can I ask you something?" Her voice cracks, racked with sadness.

"Anything." She lifts her head from my chest, and we sit facing one another.

"When you held the hammer against Maddox's chest..."

I swallow the lump in my throat because I know where this is leading. I know what Adeline is going to say.

"I could see the pain in your eyes. The anger fueling you. You became someone else."

I bend my legs on either side of her and rest my arms on my knees, then I sniff and close my eyes, relieved to know the claws that once plagued me have gone. Maybe it's because I've crossed some path or bridge I've been standing in front of for the past several years. Maybe it's because of Adeline's love. Her love has set me free from the cage I've lived in for the past ten years.

"When I saw Maddox taunting me, my vision turned red," I begin to explain. "I slid the hammer down his chest and pressed it to his neck."

She inhales a shaky breath, and her lips part slightly.

My stomach flips, and I worry this will push her away, but she's asking me to be vulnerable, so I share the piece of myself I've never shared with anyone. The deepest, darkest pieces of my soul.

"As the days went by in prison, I was left with nothing to do but think about the choice I'd made. I thought about how the police and prosecutors barely batted an eye, believing I did all these things. All because I was a Harding. An endless, vicious cycle of thoughts ran through my mind about the ramifications I would face once I was released." I swallow, thinking about the first night I spent out of prison. "The first night after I was released, I spent it in my penthouse in the city. It's funny. I spent two years feeling completely isolated, but that night, I'd never felt more alone, more outside myself. I laid in bed, and when I closed my eyes, I felt them."

"Felt what?" she asks, wrapping her hand around my arm.

"The claws digging into my mind." I place my hand over hers, watching our fingers move together.

"Claws?" Her eyebrows pull together.

"My brother Jude used to say he feared he would end up like our father. He'd struggled with alcohol and the pressure of society, and at one point in his life, it cost him everything that mattered to him. I never understood him until the night I felt the claws in my mind appearing. They were worse when I looked in the mirror. Instead of me staring at my own reflection, I saw him. I saw that I was now existing in a world where I was closer to becoming him than I had my whole life. No one would ever see me as anyone else. I was the one others would look at, unsurprised I turned out just like him."

"But you aren't." Adeline tightens her grip on my arm. The bath water ripples as she pulls herself impossibly closer so the warmth of her body surrounds me.

"I lived with the claws and pain for years after I was released. All the money in the world couldn't erase them, though. I tried my best to return to my old life, but I wasn't the same person. Prison changes you whether you want it to or not. I admit, I made poor choices. When I told you I was taking a break from work, it was because I nearly cost our family's firm a deal we'd made. I was living in the past. Living in complete darkness… Until there was you."

Tears line Adeline's eyes, and the hint of a smile tugs on her mouth.

"I didn't realize it until earlier when I was holding the hammer to Maddox's neck," I confess. "I didn't realize the claws had all but disappeared, and when they returned, turning my vision red, I felt him. I felt my father, and saw him in Maddox. Anger and rage took over, and I pushed all my pent-up resentment into that hammer. I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't stop. But then you touched me and pulled me back."

I press my hand to Adeline's wound-free cheek. She closes her eyes and leans into me, breathing me in.

"I love you so fucking much, Adeline, sometimes it aches," I tell her, and she opens her eyes. "You said you didn't need anyone to save you, and while earlier you'd said that I saved you, it's you who's truly saved me. You jumped in without hesitation and pulled me from under the water. You've given me back what I thought I'd lost, and a chance at a life I thought I'd never get to live."

She nods, and for the first time tonight, I see her crack a smile. She winces and tilts her head to her shoulder, pressing her cheek against it. "You've done the same for me."

I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. All the pain I've felt in my life suddenly disappears. None of it matters when I'm with Adeline. Hope inflates my chest, overwhelming me. The darkness is replaced with light, and while I felt I'd missed out on the most crucial moments in my life, I see the opportunity with Adeline now. I may only be thirty-three and witnessed my brothers living full lives by the same age, but I don't feel left behind like I did before. I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

With my fingers under her chin, I tilt her face to mine and press my lips to her broken skin. She tentatively gives me a kiss, whimpering.

"You've given me a chance at life, too," she whispers against my mouth. "Let's start living it."