Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

Skylar

I kissed Brooks hard, heart racing at what I was about to do. His words ran through my mind: Take what you need.

Even now, he was giving me the control I needed. And this time, I really did need it. I'd gotten comfortable topping Brooks. If comfortable was even the right word from the elation that pumped through my veins every time I drew a moan from him.

And the way he moaned and groaned? So guttural and masculine, yet so needy, too? It blew my mind. Brooks loved having me inside him, and that made me want to experience that, to have Brooks fill me up and expand me from one body to two. But would it feel as good for me? Even with him?

Memories tried to surface, memories that would ruin the mood entirely, much less my motivation to try this again. I shut them down by focusing on Brooks.

"Strip and get on the bed."

"Love it when you get bossy."

I tilted my head, wondering if he was being sarcastic, but no. He was grinning as he undid buttons, revealing his broad furry chest that made my mouth water. He shrugged off his shirt and toed off his shoes. As he undid his shorts and pushed them down his legs, I tore my gaze from him so I could focus on Step Two of this plan.

The step that gave me the courage to try this.

I retrieved the duffel I'd stored in his closet earlier today. Melinda had been more than happy to let me sneak in.

I unzipped it and retrieved the neckties I'd packed. Alongside them, I had a change of clothes and some toiletries.

I turned back to find Brooks naked on the bed, watching me intently. I held up the ties, both a vivid crimson. "Last chance to tell me if you're not okay with this."

Brooks parted his lips, eyes dark. "I'm at your mercy, Sky, with or without being tied up."

Heat flashed through me. The way he looked at me, the power he gave me so easily, was heady. I'd never take it for granted. It was a priceless gift, this kind of trust.

I trusted him, too. The ties weren't because I thought Brooks would hurt me. The ties were to protect me from old experiences, old memories that weren't welcome in this room. I could never erase my history, but I could write a new future with Brooks.

One with more weight than I gave the past.

He lay in the center of my bed, mostly relaxed, but for the stiff cock and heaving chest. His arms, stretched over his head, waiting to be tied, displayed his bulging triceps. This man could overpower me easily.

But he'd never do it.

I grasped his thick wrist and drew it up to the bed frame. Brooks held it there while I looped the tie around the iron bar, then his hand, tying it snugly but not so tight it'd cut off circulation. "How's that feel?"

He gave it a slight tug. "Good."

I rounded the bed and repeated the process with his left wrist.

"This is just a formality," I murmured. "If you need me to untie them, just tell me."

"I will, Sky. I'm not worried."

"I know." I dipped down to brush a kiss over his lips. Then moved on to nibble his jaw then suck sharply at his neck.

He groaned softly, a prisoner to my teasing. He craned his neck to the side, encouraging me, and shifted his hips restlessly, wanting more.

I crawled onto the bed still fully dressed and straddled his waist. My ass brushed his cock, and he made a choking, desperate sound.

This was more fun than I'd thought it would be. I'd been nervous about the final act, but having Brooks at my mercy? I couldn't resist gorging on his big, delicious body.

"Aren't you going to undress?" he asked.

"Eventually," I said, intentionally dragging my shorts-covered ass over his bare cock. "Don't you like the feel of being naked beneath me?"

"I'd like it better if I could see some skin," he muttered.

I bent over his chest, flicking his right nipple with my tongue to distract him. I was reluctant to undress, but I wasn't sure why. Brooks was already tied to the bed, taking only what I gave him.

I teased his nipple until it was red and puffy then moved to the other.

Brooks cursed under his breath and arched, tugging at the bedframe until it rattled.

I glanced up. "Problem?"

"No." His nipples were red and swollen, his neck flushed, and his pupils dilated. The man was hard as iron beneath me. "I just…I had the urge to reach for you. Forgot I was tied. Sorry."

I licked my thumb and used it to stroke soothingly over his abused right nipple. Then I did the same with his left.

"Too much teasing?"

"No," he said quickly. Then grimaced. "Well, I mean, yes, I want to get on with it, but I want you to take what you need."

"What do you need?" I asked.

He wet his lips. "Can you…"

He trailed off, and I nodded encouragingly. "Tell me."

"Be naked with me? I want to see you. Feel your skin on mine. Feel connected."

I rose up to kiss him softly. "Of course."

"But if you don't want—"

I silenced him with a firmer kiss. I'd been wearing my clothes like a sort of shield, one last barrier against the intimacy I was about to embrace, but Brooks had made himself vulnerable for me. I had to do the same for him. Otherwise, I should call it quits now.

I shed my outer shirt and tugged my tank over my head. I hadn't worn full lingerie, and I wondered briefly if I should have. But Brooks watched at me, gaze roaming over my chest before dropping to my waistband. He didn't seem to mind, and I did have one treat in store for him.

I unbuttoned my shorts and pushed them down, revealing lacy red briefs.

This was one of my skimpiest pairs, with just a thin band at my hips, a cup for my dick, which was currently straining hard against the fabric, and just enough fabric on the back to cup half my cheeks.

"Fuck me," Brooks said on a gust of breath.

"Not this time." I met his gaze. "Are you ready to get inside me?"

His body shuddered, his dick leaked precum, but Brooks rasped out, "Only if you want me there."

I swept my gaze over this incredible man. His broad shoulders, his thick chest, his meaty thighs. The dick that was in no way small. My ass clenched around the plug I'd pushed inside me hours ago to prepare for this moment.

Fisher's sex toy offer had horrified Brooks, but thankfully, I already owned a few items. One reason I'd wondered if maybe I could like bottoming was that I could find toys enjoyable. I didn't hate penetration so much as the helpless invasion I'd experienced with—

I didn't want to think about that now. I wanted this man before me. This man who'd given me so much pleasure already. I wanted to experience everything with him.

And I was damned if I'd let Blaize take that from me.

The situation with the resort infuriated me. I hated feeling like he had the upper hand again. But it wasn't about the hotel or Swallow Cove or even beating him at his own game for a change.

It was about me.

About the life I wanted to build.

A life that wasn't tainted by my past.

I slowly pushed down my underwear and gently tugged the plug from my ass. I set it on the bedside table, in full view of Brooks, and pulled open the drawer to retrieve lube.

Brooks groaned. "Fuck, Sky. You were wearing that all night?"

"I had to be ready for you."

I kicked my briefs to the side and climbed astride him again. This time, entirely naked. His hairy legs tickled the inside of my thighs as I moved into position.

I flicked open the lube cap and poured some cool gel into my palm. Then I stroked it over Brooks's cock. His eyes fluttered shut, face tightening.

"Does it not feel good?"

"Feels too good," he countered.

I loosened my grip, making him moan with disappointment. He pushed his hips up, begging for more, and I let go.

"I have plans for this dick. I can't make you come like this, even if it'd be fun."

I poured more lube, but I used my fingers to push it inside me this time, leaving Brooks untouched.

His breath shuddered from him. "You're more of a sadist than I realized."

I laughed. "No way. I only want to bring you pleasure."

"Same here," he said seriously. "No pain. Okay, Sky? Not between us."

"Agreed."

His words, even more than the ties, gave me the courage to raise up on my knees and press his cock between my ass cheeks. His breath caught. I dragged his cockhead through my crease, letting it tease at my rim.

My pulse roared in my ears. I was too tense, even with all Brooks's reassurance.

"Sky, will you look at me?" My gaze dropped to meet his. "I'm yours. You know that, right? You can take me however you want."

I exhaled, calm washing through me.

He was right. I didn't have to do this. It was a choice. I wanted it, and I was taking it.

I pushed back, letting his cockhead spread my hole, then slowly began to push down. The plug had done a good job of preparing me, but Brooks was still bigger. I stretched. I burned. I whimpered a little.

"Oh fuck," he gasped as he slid deeper. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, beyond words at the moment. My entire consciousness had narrowed to the fire blooming through my ass. But alongside the flames, there was something else too, elusive tendrils of pleasure that teased at the edges of my pain.

I sank down another inch, settling against his hips. I'd taken him all the way.

I stilled, just absorbing the sensations crashing through me. I was stretched and filled, but I didn't feel that claustrophobic sense of invasion I had in the past. It didn't feel terrible…

It also didn't feel great.

I rocked tentatively, setting off sparks. That felt a little better. I rocked harder, and Brooks bucked his hips, thrusting deeper.

I gasped.

"Sorry! Sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"It's okay."

"You just feel so good, but I'll try to be still. Shoulda tied my whole body down, I guess."

I smirked at him. "Might be a bit advanced for us. I'm not exactly some bondage master."

He laughed, which caused his cock to jolt, setting off more sparks in me. I moaned softly, rocking again.

Brooks's body was tense, possibly from the effort not to move. When he spoke, it was through clenched teeth. "Does it feel good for you, too?"

"Are you sure it feels good for you?" I said. "You look like you're in pain."

"Just trying to last for you."

My eyebrows flew up. "You're close?"

He laughed raggedly. "I've been close since you touched my dick the first time. It doesn't take much with you."

I smiled, pleasure flooding me that had nothing to do with the physical. Brooks was so gorgeous, so sexy, and I undid him. I'd always known I was attractive, but until now I'd associated it mostly as a negative.

As a pretty guy, I often attracted unwanted attention. I wasn't always taken seriously. I was sometimes seen as weak or delicate.

But here and now, I felt strong.

I pressed a hand on Brooks's shoulder and began riding him for real. There was no more pain, only pleasure, but it was fleeting, a release always just out of reach. Frustration began to build.

"Fuck, I can't… Sky—" Brooks's voice broke, and he shuddered hard, eyes squeezing closed as he came inside my ass. I rode it out, stroking my cock, hoping to get there, but as good as it felt, it wasn't enough.

I huffed a frustrated breath.

"Damn it," Brooks cursed. "I didn't mean to do that."

"It's okay."

"It was just too much. I couldn't hold back."

I bent to kiss him as his softening cock slipped free of my ass. "Brooks, it's okay."

"Keep fucking me."

"What?"

"My ass or my mouth. Take your pick, Sky. Use me to come."

"Are you sure—"

"Yes. Do it. I need us both to get off. Anything you want."

I considered fucking him, but his mouth was too alluring. I shuffled up his body, straddling his chest, and fed my cock through his lips.

His hands were still tied above his head, but as sexy as it was, I wanted him free to stop me if needed. I pulled one tie, then the other, releasing him.

My cock slid over his wet tongue as his hands went to my ass, kneading and squeezing. He didn't go anywhere near my hole, but surprisingly, I craved it.

"Two fingers," I ordered. "Fuck me with them."

Brooks's fingers slipped easily into my hole, still sloppy from lube and cum and well stretched from this thick dick. I pushed back, taking them deeper, then forward, deeper into his lush mouth. He tightened his lips, his tongue dancing along my shaft.

I found a rhythm that lit me up, and soon I was teetering on the edge.

I wasn't sure why I couldn't find that edge while his dick was in me. Maybe I could have eventually? Maybe I'd put too much pressure on myself to come when he did? Or maybe his dick was just too much and his fingers were just right? I'd always enjoyed toys and fingering more than fucking, but I'd thought it was about me.

Whatever the case, I could work it out later.

Pleasure wound through me, consumed me, until I was barely aware enough not to choke Brooks by thrusting too deep. I backed out of his mouth. "Gonna come."

"Yes," he gasped, then pressed the tip of his tongue into the slit on my cockhead.

I exploded, cum shooting over his mouth and chin as my ass clamped down around his fingers, wave after wave of intense pleasure streaking through me.

I cried out, shuddering with the intensity, and collapsed forward over his chest.

I floated, trembling with aftershocks. By the time I was fully aware of my body again, Brooks had both arms wrapped around me. He hugged me close, whispering in my ear. "You're okay, Sky. I've got you."

I relaxed with a sigh, my body sluggish after that intense orgasm.

"I didn't come with you in me," I murmured.

"Sure, you did," he said. "My fingers were deep inside you. I felt every pulse of pleasure with you. It doesn't have to be my dick, Sky. Or even my fingers. As long as we're connected, as long as we share our pleasure, I'm more than satisfied." He paused. "But are you?"

I lifted my head to meet his eyes. His forehead was creased with worry. I raised my thumb to smooth out the lines. "You're the most caring man I've ever met."

"You need to meet more men, then."

I raised an eyebrow.

He chuckled. "I take that back. Don't meet any more men. Just stick with me."

My lips twitched. "You're the only one I want, and to answer your question, yes. Anything we do together is so good. I just hoped…"

He grimaced. "Was it all bad?"

"No," I said quickly. "No, it was really good. I just couldn't quite get there, you know?"

"Maybe you never will. Not everyone is wired for that, right? But if it feels good, if you want to keep working on it—"

"I do," I said instantly, knowing it was true. "But what if I mostly still want to top?"

"Then top me, Alpha," he said with a teasing glint in his eye. "You know I love it."

"I love…" You . "It, too."

My heart thumped. Geez, that'd been close. Brooks was just so solid beneath me, so sweet, so caring. But it was too soon to say I loved him, wasn't it?

Especially right after sex.

What we'd done tonight had stripped me down, made me raw and vulnerable in ways I'd avoided since coming to Swallow Cove. That was all. I'd opened myself to a scary, uncertain thing, and even though it hadn't ended how I most wanted, it also hadn't ended disastrously.

Mostly because of Brooks's willingness to give me what I needed in every situation.

Whether that was being tied up or letting me fuck him any way I wanted, he gave and gave. He probably deserved much better than a still damaged man like me.

The words were there, lodged in my throat, but I swallowed them down. Not ready. Not sure.

I loved him, yes. But I couldn't tell him.

Because even now, even when I wanted to trust my heart, a little part of me was still afraid.

What if I loved Brooks, and he hurt me?

Or even worse, what if I hurt him?