9. Creed

CHAPTER 9

CREED

The encounter with Avery's family had dread coiling in my gut.

If anything, I could understand and rationalize Nathaniel's reaction. His intolerance stemmed from his upbringing and the negative perceptions of society towards male-male relationships. He'd asked about which church I attended and when I told him I wasn't religious, he'd made a smart-ass comment about hell and damnation, a big fat clue into unraveling the root of all this tension in the room.

And then there was the way he looked at Avery and me. The ugly sneer when he looked at us when we sat on the couch as we held hands reminded me too much of my father. I didn't realize until later that I'd unconsciously shuffled away, putting some distance in between Avery and me, letting go of his hand somewhere along the way.

But luckily, after that, Nathaniel kept his distance, which was fine by me. As long as Avery and I maintained the wide berth not-Nate Nathaniel had created, we would not have any issues.

Becca, Avery's sister, had arrived earlier with her kids, but she was upstairs getting them settled, which is why we hadn't seen her when we got here. She was hard to peg. Each time I glanced in her direction, she had a ready smile for me. With everything that was going on, it was hard to tell if her smiles were genuine or not. In more ways than one, she reminded me of Avery, especially when she directed the intensity of those sea-blue eyes at me.

Joseph was the family member that made it all unbearable. Fury blasted through me at the thought of his smug smiles and the obviously hostile questions he asked. It was clear that I wasn't welcomed here and Joseph's fakeness made that even more clear.

"How about your parents, Creed?" Evelyn asked. "Tell us about them." Four sets of eyes scrutinized me carefully. At this point, it wouldn't surprise me if someone pulled out a lie detector.

"Dead and buried." I couldn't possibly pass up the opportunity to guilt trip them. It was obvious that the question, if rephrased, had to do with my parents' opinion of my sexuality. "My father passed while I was serving. And my mother died when I was seventeen."

"I'm sorry for your loss. May God rest their souls."

The words were supposed to console me but all they did was further piss me off. I didn't need anyone's pity, especially any member of Avery's family. Not after all that had transpired so far.

"Is he even Christian?" Nathaniel asked his mother. Turning to me, he asked in the same breath, "What's the name of your denomination?"

Silence was my response. What did he expect me to say? I'd already told him I wasn't religious. It went without saying that I didn't belong to any church. I shrugged, metaphorically brushing off Nathaniel's questions like I would an annoying gnat. My eyes met Becca's. Was there humor behind her gaze?

"I'm sure we will get to know each other better over dinner," Evelyn announced, rising to her feet. Everyone else followed suit, trailing after her.

My pulse quickened at the idea of being in the same room as these people. Avery reached out his hand and I hesitated, my mind racing with conflicting thoughts. Part of me wanted to stay seated, avoiding any potential discomfort or conflict. But another part of me understood that Avery needed me and I didn't want to let him down. With a hesitant sigh, I finally accepted Avery's hand.

The way it felt in mine, hard and warm, was like a lifeline in an endless sea. He led me into the dining room. It was elegant and opulent. Another crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, casting a warm glow over the room. There was a long, polished wood table with high-backed chairs lining each side, all perfectly set with fine china and silverware. I wouldn't be surprised if this was a place where secrets and alliances were forged over silver platters and sparkling wine glasses.

Servers walked in wearing black suits with the same emblem I had seen the butler Edmund wear, crested on them. Platters of bacon-wrapped scallops and cocktail meatballs were served, and then the wine was brought in, our glasses topped off.

For the umpteenth time, I wished I had the resources to put more effort into my appearance. My white button-down shirt and black pants looked drab, especially when compared to what the servers wore.

As Joseph leaned in, a mischievous glint sparkled in his eyes. "So spill it, how did you lose your stripes?"

I felt the man's piercing gaze on me, and I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye. Every fiber of my being was screaming for me to lie, search for a believable explanation, to protect myself and my secrets. But my conscience tugged at me, begging for honesty. I took a deep breath and reluctantly spoke. "I... um... made a mistake and went against orders," I confessed, my inner turmoil evident in my shaky voice. My stomach turned as I waited for his reaction.

The man's expression remained unreadable, leaving me wondering if I had made the right decision by revealing even this much.

"What's your plan now?" Evelyn chipped in. "Are you going to consider heading to college for a degree or something?"

No, lady, it's not gonna happen. I barely can afford to eat. "I'm not sure yet. I like to think of this as a phase, or a journey. But whatever it is, I'll think of something along the way. There is no rush about it." I left the words hanging between us.

It took too much effort to try not to look like the bum that they were intent on making me out to be. The simmering passive aggression would not let up no matter how polite I chose to sound.

Evelyn wrinkled her nose at me. "That's not good enough. You should have a life plan, son."

I'm not your son. I already had a mother. Don't need another one.

Her grating tone made me realize I wasn't cut out for this... this condescending attitude, the air of superiority that rich folks have over the less fortunate. I'd reached the end of my rope. Forty-five minutes into our arrival and I was mentally and physically exhausted. I couldn't do this any longer without losing my mind.

None of them would stop unless I put an end to it. And there was only one way I could do that without disrespecting Avery's family. Taking the next bus out of town. I would stay the night, get my cash for the hours I'd worked as a fake boyfriend and leave the next day.

I yanked myself back to the present and acknowledged what Evelyn said. "I've heard you, ma'am."

Several minutes passed with no one talking. Only the sounds of cutlery clicking against china filled the silence. I kept my eyes on my bowl, eating the soup slowly and deliberately, making sure not to spill a drop on myself.

In my previous life, before I'd become a dishonored veteran, I would have been charming, funny, sharing stories about the fun times I'd had with my mom, but tonight wasn't the time. Neither was it the place. In fact, I struggled to recall the last time I had genuinely felt happy enough to be charming and funny. To make matters worse, the atmosphere here was far from warm and friendly. My car wasn't as cold as the reception I'd received here. If this was what I'd been missing out on by not having a family, I'd take a hard pass.

For the first time since we had been seated next to each other, I glanced at my fake boyfriend.

Beside me, Avery sat ramrod straight in his seat like there were thorns on the cushion that wouldn't let him rest his back against it. His skin had paled and his fingers rubbed shakily against the material of his trousers in repetitive motions, wearing a hole through it, but it was probably an attempt to self-soothe. He wasn't talking, he was barely pretending to listen and he was only taking these tense, shallow little breaths. Something was obviously going on with him, and it was more than just tolerating your family being kind of snide to your partner.

All feelings of weirdness over being so close to another man were instantly forgotten as my natural protector mode got triggered. I grabbed Avery's hand and moved closer to him, trying to get his attention.

"Are you okay?"

He sat there looking lost, spellbound. Nothing seemed to penetrate the haze he was in. I looked around the room; all eyes except Avery's were looking straight at me.

"What's going on? What'd I miss?" I asked no one in particular.

"Is this your first time seeing him like this?" At my nod of assent, Joseph continued. "He has always been like this. Soon he will snap out of it."

Nathaniel's signature sneer focused straight on us. "He would have snapped out of it earlier if y'all had stopped coddling him and addressed the issue straight on. This is embarrassing."

"Nathaniel Branson! You can't say that about your cousin."

Even though it was a relief to finally see Evelyn could stand up for her son, the look of exasperation on her face as she took in the scene annoyed me.

Their callousness and Avery's obvious distress set off every warning bell I had.

I shifted my seat closer to Avery until our knees touched each other.

"Can you hear me, Avery? I'm here for you. It's okay now." My concern resonated in every softly uttered word. I needed to drag Avery out of whatever void he had settled into.

Again, there was no response. Avery stared at my moving lips absently. Holy hell, I'd only ever seen this during my stint in the military.

In an attempt to ease his nerves, I slid my hand over his, hoping the warmth of my touch would be an unspoken reassurance. I felt Avery's tension like a live wire as he gripped the edge of the table, his breath uneven. Panic etched lines on his face.

Leaning in, I murmured soothing words only he could hear, my hand gently rubbing circles on his back. And then I was... I was compelled to... to reach out and gently palm his cheek, still talking to him softly and trying to get him to snap his attention back to the present. I told him to breathe.

Avery looked at me a little wild-eyed, like he was aware I was talking, but it wasn't enough. I lowered my hand and rested it on my lap. His family was still around, their judging eyes practically boring holes into both of us. But seeing him lost and overwhelmed, I found myself thinking, Screw it. He deserved someone in his corner, even if it pissed off every single person in the room. Maybe especially because of that. I leaned in closer, my voice dropping low as I murmured, "I'm here for you, Avery."

A thought suddenly struck me. I don't know where it came from. But I was willing to try something I was never taught in mental health first aid. It was probably a stupid idea, but it might be enough to make up for the vacuum of affection that Avery's family was offering him. Something tender. Becca had excused herself to go entertain the kids. I had to do something different to reach Avery wherever he'd gone. I closed my eyes, digging my fingernails into my palm. I deliberated on what I was about to do. This would change everything.

Refusing to let the niggle of doubt overwhelm me, in that fragile moment, my lips brushed against his forehead, a gentle gesture meant to offer solace. But as the warmth of the shared moment enveloped me, the atmosphere shifted. The room faded away, leaving only the two of us suspended in an intimate bubble.

I spontaneously cupped his cheek again, forcing his eyes to meet mine. My breath caught in my throat. Even as confused as he looked, I wasn't blind to the fact that he was gorgeous, objectively speaking.

Avery's eyes made me think of things that I had no right to think of, especially considering the boundaries I'd set.

And his lips. Full and pouty, I could not bring myself to stop looking at them. I prayed silently that I would be able to let go at the end. I anchored a hand on Avery's thigh for leverage.

As I gazed deeply into his eyes, it seemed like I was being drawn towards him, like a magnet. I involuntarily made a needy sound in the back of my throat before pressing my lips against Avery's.

His lips were soft beneath mine, a hesitant response to the unexpected connection. It was meant to be a simple reassurance, a chaste kiss to dispel the anxiety that clung to him. Yet, as the seconds lingered, the kiss deepened.

I'd anticipated some awkwardness. There wasn't any. What I hadn't anticipated was the sudden surge of electricity through my veins that sent tingles up my spine. I hadn't expected the sweet taste of Avery's lips that made me crave more.

With languid strokes, I licked and nipped his lips, mentally convincing myself to step away. Avery's warm breath caressed my face. Every reasonable thought flew out of my head as the fireworks exploded behind my closed eyelids… lids I didn't know I'd closed until that moment.

Avery's lips moved in perfect sync with mine. My tongue slid inside his mouth and I couldn't get enough of the taste of him, the warmth of his mouth. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. My hand on his thigh tightened as I pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

Avery let out a soft moan and it only fueled my desire further. His fingers tangled in my hair as he kissed me back with equal fervor.

If I didn't stop now, I wouldn't be able to walk away after.

But just as things were getting heated, a phone began rattling relentlessly on the table, jolting us back to reality. We pulled apart quickly, our chests heaving as we tried to catch our breath.

Nathaniel grabbed the phone from off the table, ignoring everyone else around him as he stepped aside to answer.

I cleared my throat and ran a hand through my hair, trying to compose myself. Avery looked just as disheveled and flustered as I felt.

With one last, longing glance at Avery's swollen lips, I let my eyes wander to his family members whose tittering now echoed in my ears.