13. Creed

CHAPTER 13

CREED

I'd been worried about how today would go with Avery's family, afraid they'd see through my acting. Of course, I wanted Avery's family to like me. If not as a person, then as Avery's boyfriend.

Huh? Boyfriend? It was the first time I was claiming the tag in my head without automatically reminding myself I was a straight man with a fake boyfriend. I waited for the fear and self-judgment towards my own sexuality to arise, but it never did.

"So," Evelyn began in a singsong tone and the table quieted. "Have you considered therapy to help you cope with your traumatic experience while in the military? My therapist explained the stages of grief when I started going to her."

I shifted in my seat uncomfortably.

It was hard to tell if her question was born out of genuine interest or because she couldn't resist taking a dig at me in front of everyone.

"Thanksgiving weekend is a sports enthusiast's wet dream, isn't it?" Avery counted off on his fingers when he says, "You've got NFL, NBA and NHL games happening all across the country."

My eyes shot toward him to confirm what I suspected. Yup, he deliberately changed the subject. Brilliant.

The brothers, Joseph and Nathaniel, got into a robust argument about the three professional sports, but I found it impossible to focus on what was being said.

Avery's fingers skimmed on my thigh, hidden from view underneath the table and separated from my bare skin by the fabric of my jeans. He squeezed occasionally and warmth spread through me.

Did my eyelids flutter or did Avery just wink at me?

"You don't talk much about your family," Avery's mother began again. "How about your late father? Were you close?"

Fucking perfect.

Avery leaned in to whisper, "I'm sorry for what you are about to go through." His pleading eyes made me feel a need to protect him. Instead of asking her if this was the CIA or FBI like I'd planned to, I found myself putting on the good boy act.

"We weren't close and didn't always see eye to eye, but he was my father, and I'll always love him." I forced a smile, even though what I really wanted was to push my chair back, give each person at the table a piece of my mind, and walk away. But that wouldn't be fair to Avery. He was a genuinely good guy, and I wasn't about to do or say something that might hurt his relationship with his family.

Avery's mother took a slow sip of her wine, peering over the rim of her delicate glass. Her tone was as brittle as the china in her hands. "So, I take it he never found out you were gay? Did you ever come out to him?" She paused, letting the question hang in the air. "And what about when you were in the Marines? Did you pretend to be straight just to fit in with the others?"

I sucked in a deep breath and threaded my fingers with Avery's beneath the table, his touch grounding me. My gaze flicked back to Evelyn, trying to keep my frustration in check. Despite her polished appearance, her attitude grated on my nerves. She looked like someone who had everything neatly sorted in life, but her probing questions were like knives disguised as conversation.

Becca sighed, clearly exasperated. "Can we?—"

"He never found out I was gay," I cut in, my voice edging over Becca's comment. "But it wasn't because I was trying to protect his feelings or cater to some fragile ego. It's just that I hadn't found the right person yet."

Evelyn's eyes narrowed, her stare cold and unyielding. "And you're convinced that my son is the right person for you?" Her skepticism seeped into my skin like a chill, making me want to squirm, but I held my ground.

"We've gotten this far, so I'm pretty sure," I said, forcing myself to hold her gaze, though my throat felt tight.

She leaned back, creating a dramatic pause before delivering her next line. "How far? You're having sex? Is that your big revelation that you've met the right person?" Disdain colored her words, turning her expression sharp. "Why must everything revolve around sex for your generation?" Says the woman who prepared a room with only one bed for our weekend at her home. "Can't you form deep, platonic relationships without it turning sexual? Was your father married to your mother, Creed?"

It was clear that Evelyn's questions had more to do with the wine she'd been steadily sipping than any genuine need for answers. I opened my mouth, ready to defend Avery, to point out how deeply her words cut, but she wasn't finished.

"I was married to my late husband for thirty-two years." Her voice wavered as unshed tears glossed her eyes. "Those were the best years of my life until Avery came out and ruined everything."

"That's an awful thing to say, Mother," Becca snapped, glaring at her.

Evelyn ignored her daughter, turning her focus back to me and Avery. "Avery and his father were so close... so close that the others were jealous of their bond." Her gaze flicked to Nathaniel and Joseph before returning to Avery. "My husband had big dreams for Avery, dreams that crumbled when he... when Avery came back from that conversion camp even more convinced that he liked men. It broke his heart, and it cost him his health. He had his first heart attack after that. It was the final straw."

The scrape of my chair against the tile was loud in the sudden silence, and everyone's attention snapped to me. "What did you just say?"

Avery's hand tightened around my wrist, tugging me back down into my seat. Our eyes locked, and I saw the exhaustion in his expression, the raw pain that he'd been carrying for far too long. His eyes, red-rimmed, pleaded with me to stay calm. This was a man in need of protection, and I couldn't let him face this alone.

Evelyn's voice broke as she continued, her speech slurred by the alcohol. "I'm s-saying that if Avery wasn't gay, or at least p-pretended not to be, my h-husband would still be alive, sitting at the h-head of the t-table this Thanksgiving."

That was it—the tipping point. I gritted my teeth, my mind racing with all the things I wanted to say to make her understand how deeply she was hurting her own son. The urge to snap back, to drag her out of her drunken stupor with a few choice words, was almost overwhelming.

Next to me, Avery's cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, his gaze fixed firmly on the table. The silence in the room was suffocating, and I couldn't shake the feeling that Nathaniel and Joseph believed the poison Evelyn was spewing. Or maybe they were just too afraid to contradict her, the matriarch of the family.

I wasn't great at keeping my emotions in check, especially when it came to people I cared about.

I pushed my chair back again, this time with finality. "I think you'll understand why we have to excuse ourselves for the night." I turned to Avery, noting the barely touched plate in front of him. "There's no reason to stay here and make this worse. Let's go."

I helped him to his feet, and together, we left the dining room, trudging up the stairs in silence. My mind buzzed, drained and numb from the evening's events. This wasn't how I had imagined the night going—especially not after the half-decent dinner we'd managed the evening before.

"Are you okay?" I asked as we walked back into Avery's room.

"I'm fine." His answer was almost immediate. "I just want to go to sleep."

"Yeah, sounds like a good idea."

"You know you didn't need to put yourself on the line for me out there," Avery muttered as he changed out of his clothes.

"Your mother thinks she can spout all she wants and still have you relate with her on a personal level without any boundaries being drawn," I mumbled, "but that's not going to fly with me if she disrespects you."

No other word was uttered as we climbed into bed. Avery cradled my face, and his thumb trailed my jaw.

"Creed… thanks for backing me, for being there for me. I appreciate it."

"I know this might come off as weird considering I'm being paid to play the part, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be."

It didn't take long for Avery to close his eyes and fall asleep, his body aligned with mine. My chest swelled with emotions, looking at his relaxed face.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, my eyes popped open. There was no gradual transition from consciousness to sleep back to consciousness. I was met with the sensation of a solid, warm presence beside me, and I turned to see Avery's peaceful sleeping form. My heart fluttered in my chest. As my gaze trailed down to his body, it was as if the entire cosmos had condensed into this moment, my senses heightened by the warmth of his body against mine and the stirring of desire within me. Time seemed to hold its breath as the darkness of the room enveloped us, the only light coming from the dimly lit window.

It was a foreign feeling, lying next to someone and feeling wanted, when I had spent my life with no one really knowing me nor caring, except for my mom. Still, there was a tiny part of me that wanted to climb out of the bed and leave.

Maybe it was the memory of how we'd woken up in a compromising position the previous night. The sensation of Avery's hard cock pressed against me had been addictive, and I couldn't help but grind against it, caught up in the moment. Until Avery realized what was happening and put a stop to it.

I'd tried to ignore the tension between us, wanting to avoid the awkwardness of addressing it. The more I thought about it, the more I felt it was best to leave things unsaid. But the uncertainty of what this meant for us lingered in my mind. Just last week, I would have said I couldn't be attracted to a man, that I'd never considered another guy in this way before. Yet, now, the label "gay" felt oddly familiar, even though it startled me.

The truth was, I had felt these things before but buried them deep, thanks to my father's constant demands to "man up" whenever I showed any sign of vulnerability.

"I guess it all makes sense now," I muttered under my breath, shaking my head at the confusion swirling inside me.

Sitting up in bed, I reminded myself not to dwell on things I couldn't change. The label felt strange, but part of me recognized this attraction to Avery. I had spent too long suppressing my feelings, haunted by the conflict of my sexuality and my father's tough masculinity that made it hard to explore them.

Right now, nothing else mattered but Avery. Sweet, kind Avery, who didn't deserve the crap life was throwing at him. My responsibility was to protect him, even if it meant crossing lines I never thought I would.

Deciding to set aside my personal struggles, I slipped out of the cozy bed, glancing at Avery curled up beneath the blankets. A wave of regret washed over me. But I knew I had to execute my next plan.