46. alessia

46

ALESSIA

I'm scrambling, banking left and right until finally I get a hold of my common sense and head towards his living room. I'm running barefoot, and remember that I don't have my car, phone, or wallet.

I let myself get consumed by our magnetic chemistry even though he did unspeakable things to get me here. He had me under his spell, and I forgave him too quickly. I let him fuck me. Hell, I chased that feeling of being wrapped into this delusional man, too.

And now?

Is he the one working with human traffickers? Did he turn in Ari and Grim for money?

Was he going to do the same to me?

My heartbeat races dangerously palpitating, and I have to think quickly. I run to his kitchen and I remember seeing handguns in almost every corner of his house. The man likes his firearms.

So, I look into the kitchen drawers and, at the same time, wait for Daegan to come out of the hallway to grab me or hurt me.

I lunge for his pantry, and to my surprise, I find a Glock 42. It's hidden behind pasta boxes, but still. The dark green design stands out, and I reach for it. I check if it's loaded and see that there's one bullet in the chamber.

"Alessia! Please, listen to me." Daegan begs, his dark falling over his bright eyes that are darkening with desperation. He grips the kitchen counter, and I raise the gun to him.

"Why do you have my hair in your pocket, Daegan?"

"Alessia, please put the gun down, baby."

"Why do you have pictures of me, Creature?!"

He stiffens like I had already shot a bullet through his chest at my words.

"Don't call me that. You've never called me by my operator name, so don't you start now!" He snarls. "Don't act like you're not in love with me because you know me, Alessia. I'm not here to hurt you!"

"I really don't know you, though." My lips tremble as I place my finger on the trigger. "Did you bring me here on purpose? Are you the one that's trying to capture me for money? To give me up for human trafficking? What? Was the money you got for Danny and Ari not enough? This was all a lie?!"

"NO!" He roars with disbelief like he can't register my accusations because they're too shocking.

"Then why have you been stalking me? How long have you been watching me?" I scream at him, putting up concrete walls between us with my tone.

He looks at me, and with a clenched jaw, a tear falls down his cheek. An unstable version of himself cracks and unfolds before me; this time, he's letting me see this version of himself.

"I'm not afraid to show you how much I love you anymore. I wasn't lying when I said you've consumed me, Alessia Sahara. Everyone calls me a freak, a blind robot that only knows how to shoot. But ever since I met you, I've let the dark parts of myself take over because it feels good to love someone who makes you feel like you belong in a world with an unforgiving system." He looks at me, and I'm about to break. I lower the gun as I listen to his voice tremble with his blatant, raw confession. "I…I don't know how to love you in a way that society deems normal. I'm not normal." He concedes with a heartbroken truth that rattles his deep voice. "Why would I want normal for us? Fuck what society tells me. I want you dangerously. Everything about you, all the time. Let me love you until the end of time in my own way."

"But…" I start, but he doesn't let me finish.

"I take my job very seriously. I go above and beyond the task, always. So when you were assigned to me by Ravenmore, it pissed me off. Nonetheless, I said yes because this team, this job, is the reason I breathe. At least it was the reason I breathed until I saw you for the first time. I watched you to find out who exactly Alessia Valentin is. I wanted to know who I'm going to be stuck with for the next few months…I had to know. So yes, you intrigued me. I fell for you hard, and I tried to snap myself out of it time and time again, but I failed. I'm not here to hurt you in the ways you're accusing me of."

But the memories of the text messages come back and make me want to hide again. I need time to think. I need space to figure out what my next step is. Everything is going at warp speed. I just got sent back home on my first deployment for fucking him. I raise the gun back at him, unsure of what to believe.

He did lie about being married.

He could be lying to me now!

"Daegan! It is you! You're the one who's capable of doing all this. You're a liar! You've lied to me before, and you're doing it again! You're the one everyone is looking for. It does make sense! This all started when you showed up on the Executioners team! All along, it's been you sending me these text messages! You even sent me text messages framing yourself at the shooting range in Iraq! Why would you do that? To make sure I didn't think it was you?"

His brows furrow, and his whole body stiffens.

"Alessia. When you deployed to Iraq, I stopped sending you text messages. That wasn't me." His towering frame tenses up, and he starts to walk toward me.

"Everyone warned me about you, Daegan! And I defended you over and over again! How could you do this to your team? To me? Don't fucking come near me!"

"Alessia, please, baby, let me touch you. God, let me fucking touch you, or I'll die if I don't."

His vicinity is suffocating, but I'm not sure if it's in a good or bad way yet. I'm still trying to process everything and protect myself. Something I've been failing to do.

He steps closer and is about to grab me as I step back. His hand reaches for mine, but he doesn't get to hold it as the tip of my gun touches his chest, and I feel like everything is in slow motion.

I lower my gun again, crying as I move, and he looks at me with so much intensity that it's intimidating.

Do I believe him? Do I hear him out? What do I do?

"Let me touch you." He tells me again, his gaze so serious and demanding that I think I'm going to fall apart. "Don't run. Trust me. Let me live by choosing to love my nightmares, my scars, my broken soul." He pleads. "No one has shown me that they're willing to accept my blackened heart after everything I've been through. Please tell me that I have found that in you, Valentine?"

He walks closer, and I'm hot and cold all over.

"I don't need a lamp. I don't need the fan off. Don't you get it, baby? I don't need anything in this world. But I need you."

I fall apart and lower my gun slightly, but then a loud pop makes me jump. My bones rattle, and my ears ring as I watch Daegan's body fall to the ground, bringing me down with him. His eyes widen, and I grow cold and confused. Shit, did I shoot him on accident with my overdriven heart?

I didn't pull the trigger! What just happened?

Blood splatters and leaks everywhere on his grey kitchen cabinets. Daegan goes limp, and I don't get a chance to examine or even fucking breathe before I'm screaming. My hair gets pulled as I try to grab for Daegan as he lays in a small puddle of crimson, and it only grows by the second.

I'm scratching at the person who is dragging me by my hair, their hand gripped at the scalp, and I'm shrieking as my knees scrape the kitchen floor.

Then I feel hot breaths bite the skin on the base of my ear. "Now, how about that date, Alessia?" He coos cruelly.

That voice. That rough, menacing voice has me trembling.

Gabe.