30. alessia

30

ALESSIA

It turns out the wall I ran into was of the human type.

"What are you doing here with Zeke?" A familiar voice interrupts my isolated moment. I drop the beer, but Daegan catches it before it hits the ground.

"Oh my fucking gosh!" I almost stumble and fall. "I could ask you the same thing." I rip my gaze from his shadow on the floor to his massive frame towering over me. His grey eyes aren't welcoming. They're lethal, and his mask is gone. His dark waves are carefully brushed back on both sides, and it's enticing.

"Why are you here with him?" He drawls, stipulation evident in his rugged voice. "And what the hell are you doing drinking? The alcohol is only for SEALS. This is your third beer. Don't you think you should slow down?"

I straighten my back, astonished.

He's been watching me? Tracking how much I'm drinking?

"I–uh. Yes, I'm drinking, and yes, I'm with Zeke tonight. He's providing the alcohol for me. I don't owe you an explanation. Nice to see you too, grumpy." I take my beer from his hand, and he steps forward, closing the distance.

"I don't like to repeat myself, Valentine. Why are you with him?"

I land on my two feet, my hair tied back in a bun, with a few loose curls in the front.

"What do you mean, why? The deployment is almost over, and this is my last night out for a while. I could ask you the same question."

He raises his brows like he's amused by the witty response. He smirks, his sharp canines brushing his bottom lip.

"So you broke up with your boyfriend and tried to get laid right after with me, and now with Zeke?" He hardens his voice, scolding me like a child. I stare down layers of grey as he wrathfully burns holes through me.

"Oh, so what are you saying? That I'm a slut? Is that what you're implying?"

He narrows his brows, his pointed nose scrunching, and then relaxes as I argue back.

I won't stand for this.

"Why are you so upset, anyway? You're with Guerra right now, aren't you? You were the one who said we couldn't do this. We can't be together in any form, remember? I can lose my job. You can lose your job," I point to his chest, stepping forward. "You can get thrown off the team. I am free to do whatever I want." I poke his massive chest. "You are free to do whatever you want. You can't just show up out of nowhere and hover over me like I'm…like I'm…" I stutter, trying to find the words.

"Like you're what?" He steps closer to me as I stare up at him like he's challenging me to overstep and push my limits and get off on it.

"Like I'm your problem." My voice is lethal.

"You are my fucking problem." He argues back, his breathing elevates.

"What?" I shake my head, confused, taking a step back, creating some distance between us because I'm scared of what I'm feeling. Something about him is messing with my brain chemistry.

"I don't like what I see. Your stepfather knows about your stalker problem. He wants you back in your room before 0100 hours. I'm sorry, but it's past curfew. Kane knows about it, but he's being nice. But me? I have no fucking problem being the bad guy." He snarls, closing the distance again, taking my breath away.

"He put a fucking curfew on me? You told him about my stalker?" I shout, my voice high-pitched.

Oh, now I'm pissed.

"I'm not a fucking child Hannibal. I don't listen to Ravenmore."

"Your mother told him, actually. If I have to throw you over my shoulders and carry you out of this building, then that's what I'll do." He hisses under his breath, the music outside getting louder and louder.

There's a hint of beer in his breath, mixed with cigarettes.

Minty. Masculine. Woodsy. Completely hypnotizing.

Still, I hold my ground even though his presence always sends me into a daze.

"Why? I'm having a good time with Zeke, and we're on a date." My eyes narrow in defiance.

His grey eyes darken, and the scars on his eyebrows flinch when he hears me defy him.

"You call this a date?" His tone is envious, and he smiles, but it's anything but happy.

"Yes…it's what we got, and I'll take it over staying in my bedroom trapped alone for the night. What would you know about dates anyway? You told me you don't believe love exists, remember?"

"You don't need to love someone to take them on a date." He breathes slowly. His body goes rigid as his vision pinballs from my eyes, my lips, and then my chest.

"Really? Why is that?" I challenge back, daring him to open up to me and daring my so-called bodyguard to talk more than just a few sentences and give me a piece of his personal life. "Tell me why being out tonight with Zeke isn't a date," I argue.

His eyes crinkle with a sinful, dark smile. He takes one more step, hovering over me, and I lick my lips nervously. He laughs deep and low, slowly, like he's ready to do something I'm unsure of. It's like he's about to snap me in half.

He leans into my ear, rubbing his chin, his lips grazing my ear as he whispers, "Because a date with me usually ends with the girl screaming my name, my hands in her hair, her ass cheeks raw from spanking her so hard. Her jaw and throat sore and bruised from gagging on my cock all night long…until she's crying pretty little tears for me and I lick them away as I'm filling her insides." He whispers darkly into my ear, and it's seducing. My narrowed brows relax, and my eyes widen instead. A sensation in between my legs goes haywire. Then he retracts from my ear. Getting so close to my mouth, teasing me. It's like he's about to kiss me but doesn't. "Because I'm addicted to the art that is making women come, Alessia. There are so many ways to do it. I desire to break women until they're screaming my name, women that beg me to—making women come hard over and over again. I like to make them bleed for me. It makes me so fucking hard to see my come drip off their chin after I finish on their face, and I push it back into their mouths, making them choke on it. I like making their cunts weep until they're dripping down their thighs, begging for me to fuck their ass too."

I flush red hot with his admission.

"That's what my dates consist of, baby girl. It has nothing to do with love and everything to do with lust. I love to fuck, and lust to come."

I'm tired of this push-and-pull game with him. I won't let him win. I will show him that two can play this game.

So I challenge him, smirking innocently as the dare leaves my tongue. "Then I guess I need to explore what Zeke's version of a date is at the end of tonight…maybe it'll match up with yours."

He stiffens like he's in utter shock. He pauses, as do I, but it's short-lived just as I watch his nostrils tick and his jaw setting so tight, I can hear his teeth grind. He goes quiet. No words come out of him, and I know I just won the argument.

I cross my arms in victory, pushing my breasts together unintentionally, and his death stare changes direction from my soul to my breasts. I grab the beer from his hands and start to walk past him. I don't make it one more inch.

He shakes his head with a sinful smirk, and faster than I can register or protest, Daegan grabs my arm, lifting me into the air, throwing me over his shoulder, and thunders out of the corner we're in.

"No way in fucking hell." He stalks forward, kicking a door open.

"You can't do this to me, Hannibal! Why are you sabotaging my night out?"

"It's not safe. You're not safe."

"Bullshit!" I protest. Thank God no one notices I'm getting taken away like this. It's embarrassing. "I'm in an area full of service members!"

"Do you forget they still haven't caught the traitor responsible for Grim's bounty?"

I ignore his valid retort and continue to try and scramble out of his grasp, but he's too massive and too strong for me. Through my scrambled curls, I see someone who can get me out of his arms and won't ask questions.

We stalk past Kane, who clearly is in shock. He looks up from his phone, startled.

"Kane! Don't just stand there. Help me!" I wave my hands, trying to pry out of his grasp.

Daegan stops walking, and Kane's eyes are saucers as he holds his phone, unsure of what to do. He stares at me and then back at Daegan, who clearly doesn't care if he knows anymore.

"Don't you fucking dare try and stop me, loverboy, or I'll cut your tongue out so you can never tell a tale again." He threatens Kane sinisterly like it's a game. Kane throws his hands up, surrendering as I still struggle in his grasp.

"I think I've learned my lesson with Grim. I've already got my nose broken once. I don't need that to happen again. I'm getting too old for this shit." He groans, annoyed. "Just please don't kill her, is all I ask. I'm going to bed." He concedes with a heavy slumber sigh.

He turns around and walks away, and I glare at his back as my mouth falls open.

"Really Kane?! After all we've been through?" I whisper yell at him, but he doesn't care. He keeps walking away from us. Daegan continues to hold my ass in place. His hand snakes around my hips and squeezes tight. So hard, pain makes its presence known.

"Shut the hell up, Valentine, or I'll use my cock to gag you."

He sprints down into another empty building, opening the doors to an empty hallway.

"Are you jealous?" I hiss.

"Jealous?" He roars with disdain.

I nod against his shoulder. He drops me to my feet, making me stumble, and I almost fall. I suck in a breath, taken aback by his strength. He doesn't help me regain my balance. He almost threw me to the ground. This man picks me up and throws me like I'm a damn feather.

Jesus, he really is upset with me.

He gets into my face, and his scent makes me want to smother myself in his arms again, despite the fact he's manhandling the crap out of me.

"Jealous doesn't begin to describe how I feel right now. I want to fucking chop off Akana's hands and take his eyes out of his skull and make him eat them for just looking at what's mine. Anyone that gets to hold your hand is a dead man walking. Let alone…"

He doesn't finish; the way his voice trails off makes me believe he doesn't want to finish his sentence.

"Let alone what? Fuck me?" I'm poking a bear, but I don't care.

He towers over me, grabs my jaw with his fingers, squeezing my bones hard, and I hiss in pain.

"Careful, baby girl. You won't like it when Creature comes out to play."

"And what if I want him to come out and play?" I taunt.

He chuckles, letting his head fall, and he rubs his chin like he's planning something.

Something bad.

I dare him to. "Show me what you would do to me if I were your date."

"Trust me. There's nothing I've ever wanted more in this world, and that's you. But I won't allow myself to cross this line. If I take you, the admiral will fire me, probably making up a reason to throw an Article on my career. I was a prisoner of war. I have endured days of brutality. But you? Not being able to devour you the way I've been thinking about since you were assigned to me has been the worst form of torture I've ever had to go through." He softens his words with a pained pinch of his brows. "Walk away from me. Walk away, and go to your bedroom, and fucking lock it."

"No." I defy him, walking closer to him. I haven't felt so alive in a long time. Daegan sees me when I can't even see myself, even when I'm staring at my own reflection in a mirror. The way he looks at me, especially right now, with dilated eyes and a clenched jaw. I feel wanted when I don't even want to be in my own meat suit some days. "I've never felt so hot and so cold at the same time, Daegan. You're the only one who has been able to do that to me. Not Jack, not Zeke. You. I know you're upset. Show me how upset you are. Don't tell me." I tease.

"You really want me to show you just how fucking mad I am, huh?" He questions me like he's trying to convince me to second-guess my request.

"Yes," I take one step forward, touching his chest. My heart is thundering as hard as it is in between my legs, starving for his taste, wanting him to give into our desires. As soon as my hand touches his all-black sweater, he spins me around, pushes his chest against my back, and grips my hips tight over my pants. I whimper in pain, and at the same time, my skin bursts into sensual flames. He brings his waist, colliding it with mine in a primal way. His hard size digging into my ass like that one night in his hallway. His palm reaches the center of my neck, squeezing it, but this time he's not letting me fucking breathe.

His chokehold has me clawing at his palms, scratching his skin, as horror floods my senses. He's suffocating me with his calloused, rough palms. My brows knit together, and I'm scowling at him.

"Are you sure you want to see just how beyond jealousy I am, my little Valentine?"

I nod, licking my lips, and a depraved smirk crosses his face.

I don't want it to be safe. I don't want normal. I want tragic, unremorseful, shattering, lustful, painful sex, and I want it from him. Jack was boring, slow, and very predictable. I always saw what was coming next. Missionary or I was bent over until he chased his own finish line.

"I don't want you to treat me like I'm fragile. I want you to use me because I want to love sex too…I want you to test my limits that I have never gotten the chance to explore. I want all of those things you told me, but I want the fear you inflict upon me. I want the pain. I want to be your whore." I admit, and I'm surprised by my own candor.

Will I regret this?

"Fuck… You really don't know what you're asking for."

I push my ass further into his waist, and he's already huge and hard. "Show me. Teach me. Break me. I want it all." I counter.

I reach for his pants from behind me, but he stops my wrists. He goes for my throat, squeezing it tactically, fast, and precisely to cut off my air supply without actually hurting me. He pins me against the wall by my throat, my back bangs, and I grin ear to ear.

Something's come over me. Like a soul being born. A new one.

And it's because of him.

Pinning me against the wall so I can't move, he bends down, reaching for my throat, and then I feel his tongue trail the bottom of my neck all the way to my earlobe.

Oh my god.

"On one condition." I choke out; he stops and instead brushes his nose against me. He leans his forehead on the side of my head.

"No falling in love." I grit out.

His breathing comes to a stop.

"You want just sex?" He asks.

I nod since he's making it hard to talk.

"You just want to be my little whore behind closed doors so your step-daddy doesn't find out how much of a slut you are? You don't want Admiral Ravenmore finding out that she's begging one of the team guys to fuck her so hard until she can't remember her own name? You want to be used, Valentine, is that it?" He coos devilishly into the shell of my ear, sending a cold shiver up my spine.

I nod, trying so hard to suck in a breath.

"Yes. But no—" he tightens his grip, and I swallow. "Falling in love."

He clenches his jaw…like he's pissed about the condition. He can't be…right? Is this all in my head? This should push him even more to take me the way we both desire.

"Promise me." I pry again.

"I don't believe in love, little Valentine. You don't have to worry about that. I don't want to make love to you. I want to fuck you so hard that every time you sit down, every time you feel that soreness between your thighs, and the bruises on your ass, you'll know who you belong to. Your ass, your cunt, this tongue, are all mine."

"Yes, please."

"I don't think you know what you're asking for. I'm possessive and depraved. I want to punish you for coming here with another man tonight. I want to tear off your pants, take off my belt and choke you with it as I fuck every single one of your openings, marking you vindictively. Ever since I licked your wetness off my knife, you are all I fucking think about. You are in my head all the time, you've imprinted yourself there without my fucking permission. Don't you see? If we do this, there's no going back. You are mine until I say this is over," he growls, pulling my hair hard, and I hiss in pain. "Do you understand, little Valentine? Do you still want to go through with this little down-low relationship proposal of yours?"

"I know what I'm asking for," I retort. "I want all of that…but you scare me. And I think I like that even more."

"You shouldn't."

He leans into my neck so that every time he exhales on my skin, it sends shivers down my spine. "Run, little Valentine. Run away from me. I'll give you a headstart, but you better run fast because if I catch you, you will regret asking Creature to come out to play, and I'll show you just how mad you've driven me." I can feel the sadism through his fingers.

"We're on a military base. There is nowhere to run." I barely choke out as I feel the blood pounding in my head from the circulation getting cut out, and I swear I'm about to pass out. Darkness clouds the edges of my vision, color fading in and out. I glance at Daegan, and for the first time, his ice eyes beam black with anger. I blink slowly, trying to beg him to stop, but I've grown weak, and my lips are paralyzed. I'm trying to let him know I've found a boundary I might want him to break.

I can't fucking breathe anymore. Wetness flows down my cheeks, like a rainstorm, when I realize this is exactly what he wants. And that makes everything so much hotter. The fucked up side of me is smiling, and my clit throbs with need. My feet grow weak, and alas, my hearing goes silent as he continues to choke me. He tightens his grip one last time just before everything goes full obsidian.

He lets me go, and like the earth needs the sun, I gasp for air over and over again, coughing as I recover. I fall to my knees, and pain strikes back hard as I hit the floor. I desperately inhale the air that was stolen by the devil in front of me, like it's my last day on Earth.

This man is going to kill me…and my dumbass would say thank you.

"That's your problem, Alessia. Your headstart starts now. You better run to your barracks room for the night because I swear to God, if I see you with Zeke again, a bodybag will be filled tonight."

"You're an arrogant, self-centered asshole. Let me live my life. You're supposed to watch over me. Not control me." I argue.

"Watch me."

"Fuck you." I massage my neck, yet I'm so turned on by his unforgiving hand necklace.

"By the time I'm done with you, you'll be begging me too, baby girl." He stares me down like he's starving.