22. alessia

22

ALESSIA

Daegan kept his promise and took me to my mother's place. He stayed in the car, and I promised I would make sure to say, see you soon, quick.

I enter her two-story home after two knocks.

"Esta abierta!" She calls back to me.

I walk in but don't see her on her gray couch by her floral frames, which are hung on every wall in her living room. The TV is off, and she's not watching her usual medical drama TV shows or novellas, with a glass of wine to destress from work.

I pass by the kitchen to see it spotless and clean, but there's no food roaming around.

"Ma, donde estas? Ya me voy!" I look for her down the halls, practically jogging through the halls. I pass by photo frames of me and her growing up—one with us together at a Halloween party as a single mom. At least, she pretended to be a single mom. I didn't meet Ravenmore until after a few years. She wanted to make sure they were solid before she introduced us.

The photo stops me for a split second as I stare at myself as a child. I was dressed as Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas. I scoff with a minimal laugh. A swift, warm emotion pulls at my heartstrings. I don't remember that day at all, but I'm grateful for photos like these.

"I'm in my office." My mother's muffled voice peaks through the corner, and I follow.

"What're you doing here? It's late." I sit down on a chair, letting my butt fall into the soft cushion. I purse my lips with curiosity when I notice my mother is still in her work detective attire.

She was an ex-Navy sailor who inspired me to join and follow in her footsteps. After she was honorably discharged after serving eight years, she used her experience to go back to college to further her education and became a detective. She loves her job and has always been an extreme workaholic.

She holds a glass of wine in her hands, twirling the dark red liquid.

"I'm stressed out about work. There have been human and drug traffickers growing here in town, and it's an operation bigger than I thought it would be. The more I try to break it, the more we piss them off, and it's becoming dangerous. One of the leader's nicknames is ‘Smiley,' he's number one on our list, and we're going above and beyond to catch him. If we catch him, the entire operation will unfold. I'm trying to get to the hornet's nest. It's been hard, to say the least. It's been shocking to learn that there are service members working with them…it's all so exhausting."

She rubs her brows with her fingers, her hazel eyes hidden beneath her tightly shut lids. She pulls back her blonde hair behind her ear and opens her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I hope everything turns out okay. Please stay safe." I look at my watch, and I'm shy of five minutes late. "I just wanted to say goodbye. Your husband has one of his team members on personal security detail to watch over me, by the way. It's so unnecessary." I roll my eyes as I sigh.

She forces a smile on her glossy lips, "I should be telling you to stay safe. You're going on your first deployment as military intelligence to work closely with Navy SEALS and other special operators. That's amazing, and I'm so proud of you." Her tired voice softens, and her eyes glimmer with pride. She palms her red wooden desk, and I nod in acknowledgment. "Make me proud!"

She stands up from her chair and walks over to me. Her arms are spread out, ready to hug me. "Go easy on my husband. I requested it." She embraces me, and I immediately smell her signature Chanel perfume as we hold each other for a short moment before I pull away in shock.

"Mom," I complain as I retreat from my hug.

How could she do that?

"What?"

"Why? I don't want it to be seen as me having special treatment."

"Because I have a bad feeling that one of these bad guys will be over there. I'm unsure if it's just one bad guy or an entire group. And do I have to remind you of that list? You're a target, and?—"

Shit, she does have a point. I let go of her and turn toward the door in a rush as she explains herself. I promised Daegan I would make this goodbye quick. I don't like being late…I don't know any service member that likes to be late.

"Someone shot at my window the other night," I blurt out as I grip the doorknob, ready to escape before she bombards me with a trillion questions.

"What?" She reaches for me, but I'm already out the door and down the hall.

"Alessia Sahara Valentin." She scolds me as I walk into the living room.

"It's okay. I have a bodyguard now, remember?" I tell her sarcastically, almost like an insult, and she seethes, resenting my remark. She folds her arms across her black cardigan with pinched brows. She shakes her head.

"Why didn't you report it?"

"Of course, I reported it." I raise my voice in defiance, but then I calm myself down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude, but I've gotta go…" I tell her slowly, reaching for her arms and kissing her cheek goodbye. "Okay? I love you too."

"Te quiero mucho, que Dios te bendiga, hija. Make me proud."

The plane ride to Iraq was long, too long. But every now and then, Daegan and I would sneak glances. Each time, we locked eyes for a split second, and it would send that same electrifying blip in my heart, and butterflies would swarm.

We sat next to each other, but he kept his distance. The space between us is thick with tension, but I kept busy with a thriller novel. SEAL Team Executioners were sitting just across from us. Kane sat next to Daegan and the rest of the team in front of us. Operator Grim Reaper stayed home with his wife and newborn twins, just like Ravenmore said he would.

I had to use the restroom during the first flight over the Atlantic. There was a long line, but thankfully, I could hold my pee. I lean against the wall, crossing my arms as I wait.

"God, I hate planes."

A woman to my right says. Her brown hair is slicked back perfectly. She has brown eyes and fair skin. We're both in uniform. She has a friendly smile with tired eyes.

I scoff with a warm smile. "Me too."

"What's your name and rate?" She asks.

"Alessia Valentin. Intelligence." I tell her proudly and confidently, just as the person in front of me exits the restroom, and it's my turn to use it.

"Ah, Ravenmore's daughter." She tells me, giggling at her feet.

I make room for the man who just used the restroom to return to his seat in the tight-space walkway of the plane. I hold the restroom door open and reach for her hand to shake with a smile on my face.

"What's your name? You look familiar." I tell her, trying to remember where I've seen her before. Was it at El Devine? Boot camp?

She takes my hand and shakes it with an edge. She meets my eyes directly with a smile of cruel intentions.

"Oh, I'm Mary Solis. The woman who didn't make Intel because my daddy isn't someone important like Admiral Ravenmore and ex-intel mommy." She lets go of my hand and smiles harder, and mine falls.

Is she really doing this? Right now?

I had a feeling people were saying this behind my back, but I just never thought someone would say it to my face.

Props to her, I guess.

"I didn't get to where I am because of them."

"Keep telling yourself that." She looks at her phone, peeling away from me unbothered. I stand there, still appalled.

I feel defeated. It doesn't matter what I say. The PSD that Operator Bane and Creature were placed on doesn't help my argument.

I close the door.

As soon as we landed, he helped gather our luggage, and we arrived in Iraq late at night. The first thing on my to-do list was to visit my stepfather. He informed me that Kane, Operator Bane, and Daegan would rotate shifts at night. It was a short meeting, which we kept professional, and short given the time of night. They escorted me everywhere.

I have my own private room with a lounge area. My room is small, with one bed, a desk, a nightstand, and a bathroom. It reminds me of my college days. I was so young when I joined. It feels like ages ago.

Rooker will be in charge of their schedule to watch over me for the most part. He appointed Slaughter to take the first night, which sent a wave of sadness to pulse through me.

It's for the best.

The temptation is too potent and frightening. The more I'm surrounded by him, the more I want to give into our chemistry.

"Lights out, Valentín." Kane opens the door to my bedroom, and I walk in, clutching my bag.

I twirl around on my heel to tell him goodbye. He stands there in the dark, the only light from my lamp. He's in his uniform, his hand on the doorknob, waiting for me to say something.

I want to break the ice with Kane since he will also be on my ass along with Daegan, making a note of my every movement to keep me safe. My intrusive thoughts take over, and my mouth opens before I can stop it.

"What did you do to get your ass kicked at the military ball the other year?" My blunt question catches him off guard, but he doesn't miss the endearment entwined in my tone. I cross my arms as he lets his head fall, and he chuckles deeply, clearly unoffended by my inability to prevent my outburst.

Kane is…beautiful.

What a man.

He runs a hand through his dark waves and smiles like he's proud of himself.

"I crossed a line and kissed Grim's girl."

So Ari Alvarez had the pleasure of having two handsome SEALS after her?

What a problem to have.

What a shame.

"Yeah, that explains it," I scoff with a slight smile, placing a hand on my hip as my own lips tilt into a comforting smile.

"I was….very in love with her, madly in love with Ari. I overstepped and hurt many people in the process. And I did a stupid thing." His smile fades and is replaced by a somber scoff. He licks his lips and looks away from me like he's upset with himself. Losing himself in the memories of the fight…or maybe it's just his journey with Ari. "But I guess love can sometimes do that to someone, right? Love makes you crazy?" He shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets nervously.

I look at Kane, and I mean really look at him, and this man is drop-dead handsome. But in a way that's warm and radiates cheer. His dark hair matches Daegan's, but Kane is slightly shorter by an inch or so and leaner in his body frame. He's still well over six feet. His dark blue eyes are welcoming, in contrast to Daegan's.

When I look at Daegan, it's a mystery, and the unknown makes it even more tempting.

"I'm sorry. I wouldn't know what love is. Lately…I don't believe it's meant for me."

"Well, it exists alright, and it's real. I have scars on my face to prove it." He points to a scar on his jaw, probably from when Operator Grim Reaper punched him. "Even though it didn't work out the way I wanted, it was still a period in time I will always cherish in my life. Even if it ended in my ass getting kicked." He pauses while his eyes brighten like they're lost in Ari's. "Being in love with her was like chasing a sunset. She was always out of reach but still the most beautiful thing to experience."

He scoffs, smiling. He glances at his feet like I've hit a nerve. When his tone changes to sadness and his voice softens, I know Ari is still probably someone he will always care about.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up." I squeeze his hand in an innocent gesture.

"It's fine." He straightens his posture and takes a step back, squeezing my hand once before letting go. His rough, calloused hand slithers out slowly. "I'm talking to someone else right now, and she makes me very happy. She's made me the happiest I've been in a long time, actually."

"I guess that's a good thing?" My voice pitches high with hope. "I get it. It sucks to make a mistake, and everyone wants to basically ruin your life for it and make you feel like the biggest piece of shit to walk the Earth, but you're not a bad person Kane. I don't know you too well, even though over these next few months, I probably will know you better than my own parents…" My voice crescendos into a murmur, sarcastically referencing his assignment to watch over me. "You're not a bad person, Slaughter. Don't let the world make you feel that way. Yes, you fucked up, but don't stay there."

He looks at me like I've struck numerous nerves inside him.

"I guess it's a good thing you didn't stay there and found this new woman in your life, right?"

"It's a blessing, Valentín. When I talk to her, I forget where I am in the world."

"Why is that?"

He brushes his beard with his hand, and a smile follows suit.

"She's the type of person that makes a dark day disappear…like it never happened in the first place."

"Alright, sir, you need to stop with all this cutesy stuff. I think you're a romantic and you fall fast, like me. We can't help it." I wiggle my finger at him teasingly. "But I'm trying not to be like that."

"Well, good luck with that. I'll get out of your hair…but one more thing."

The door swings almost closed, but his head pokes out.

"What?"

He smirks, "I see the way you look at Creature…it's the way I used to look at Ari."

My mouth falls open, and I start to stutter. I immediately go into a defensive mode, but no words come out, only indescribable sounds because I'm having difficulty choosing them.

How? Is it that obvious? We've been careful. Our stolen glances have to have been just that.

"Kane…"

What can I say?

I can explain?

It isn't true that I have some type of feelings for my so-called bodyguard?

One of the only people on this Earth I cannot date because, one, it'll taint his career, and two, he might be emotionally unavailable. But maybe that's just what I need.

He raises his hand to hush me politely and smirks mischievously.

"Secret is safe with me." He finishes with a cheerful smile.

My mouth is still dropped open like a fish with a hook in its mouth, dumbfounded.

He closes the door, leaving me with my thoughts…and forbidden grey eyes that are tattooed into my brain.