26 - Joanna

26

Joanna

Bits and pieces of last night were starting to come back to me. My stomach dropped.

"Where is Austin?" Landon asked.

"He was in the lobby," Danicka replied with a giggle. "I'm surprised you didn't see him. He's tough to miss."

"We just walked through the lobby," I said. "He wasn't…"

I shared another look with Landon.

"Will you excuse me?" I took one last forlorn look at my plate of food, then went out to the lobby.

The man was still passed out on the couch. When I turned him over, Austin's groggy blue eyes blinked up at me.

"Morning, darlin'. I'll take the steak and eggs."

"Did I quit my job last night?"

He slowly sat up and grinned. "Come to think of it. Yeah. I believe you did."

"Danicka said it was your idea!"

"Why would I do that?" he asked. Then he sniffed the air. "I need some pancakes."

He tried standing, but I pushed him back down onto the couch and loomed over him. " No . If I don't get pancakes, neither do you. Tell me what happened."

"I won't tell you what happened," he said with a silly grin. "I'll show you."

He opened a video on his phone and handed it to me.

"Here we are at Marisa and Bradyn's wedding," Austin was narrating while recording everyone on the dance floor. "The bride and groom have gone upstairs to make things official, but that hasn't stopped the party."

A few girls cheered. It was difficult to hear over the blaring music. The camera weaved through the dancing crowd until I came into view. Austin kept the video on me for a little while as I danced. He even zoomed in while I was bent over, shaking my butt.

"Hey!" I said, showing him the screen. "Creeper."

"I can neither confirm nor deny that I took that video," Austin said while gazing in the direction of the dining room. "Believe it or not, that's the least creepy situation I caught you in last night."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Austin pointed at the phone. "Pay attention."

On the video, Danicka approached and put an arm around me. Austin walked closer until our conversation could be heard.

"I feel like you're a member of the family now," Danicka was saying.

"That's so sweet of you to say! I feel so welcome," I replied.

"I think you should come to the honeymoon. Landon already has a room, so we just need to book your flight."

"I can't," I replied drunkenly. "I have a lot of lawyering to do, because I'm a lawyer. You know. The law. It's very serious."

Austin finally spoke up on the video: "Now, you were just telling me how much you hate your job."

"This is true," I agreed. "I'm not looking forward to going in on Monday."

"I have an alternative proposal," Austin said. "Quit your job and go to Jamaica."

"Yes!" Danicka exclaimed.

Drunk-me twisted her face. "I don't know…"

"Today is a beautiful day for change," Austin insisted. "I dare you to quit your job."

Carol danced her way over to us. "I quit my job this spring. Best decision I ever made. Wish I had done it years ago."

"My new daughter-in-law's sister makes a good point!" Danicka said.

Drunk-me tossed her hair. "You know what? Okay! I'm going to do it tomorrow! I'll call my boss and tell him I'm done!"

"Do it right now!" Danicka insisted. "Before you lose your nerve."

Carol ran out of view, then returned with my phone. "I think this is yours. The background is the Blackhawks logo."

Drunk-me snatched the phone from her and tapped sloppily on the screen. "Hi. This is Joanna. Joanna Pullen . It's Saturday night, and I am completely sound of mind and character."

Everyone around me laughed, so I covered the phone with my hand. "Shhh! I'm trying to do this!" I held the phone back up to my ear. "Okay, I'm not completely sound of mind. But I don't care. I quit . I don't want to work for your stupid ambulance-chasing firm anymore. I'm sick of the junior partners making creepy comments every day. In conclusion your honor: go fuck yourself! Suck my dick!"

Everyone cheered as I spiked the phone on the ground like a football. That explains how I cracked it .

I handed Austin back his phone. "See? You made me do it!"

"You are a strong adult woman who can make her own decisions. All I did was give you a little friendly encouragement," he replied smoothly.

"You dared a drunk girl at a wedding. That's basically like shoving a toddler into traffic."

Austin chuckled. "No, it's not."

I gave his shoulder a shove. "I was drunk and you fucked up my life!"

He shook his head slowly. "The way I see it, I did you a favor."

"Excuse me?"

"You said it yourself: you wanted to quit that job, even if you didn't have the DefTec position lined up. You knew what you needed to do, but didn't have the guts to do it. So I gave you a little push. Not a push into traffic, but a push in the right direction. Just like you gave me a push before the wedding when I was acting like a fool."

I let out an annoyed noise. This guy thought he was actually helping me?

"Look on the bright side: now you get to go to Jamaica!" Austin added.

"I don't want to go to Jamaica! That means keeping up the charade for another week! Around the clock!"

Austin shrugged. "Then tell Mrs. Cozart you can't go. I don't care." He pointed a finger at me. "But you'll see that quitting your job was the right thing. Eventually, you'll thank me."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"About most stuff? You're right. But I'm not wrong about this." He sniffed the air. "Say, did they have pancakes in there? There's a hole in my stomach about a mile deep."

"I'm going to bribe the chef to spit in your food."

Austin chuckled as I walked away. "A little spit's not going to stop me, sweetheart."

When I got back to our table in the dining room, my plate was gone. "What happened? I didn't eat anything!"

"They must have taken it away while I was getting seconds," Landon said. "I'm sorry."

I leaned forward until my head was resting on the table. "I quit my job last night."

"Oh, shit. Seriously?"

"Austin dared me to do it. It's all on video."

"Can you call your boss and explain it was a mistake?" Landon asked.

"Considering I told him to suck my dick? Probably not." I groaned. "I need someone to waterboard me with coffee."

"That's still here!" Landon said, pushing my coffee mug across the table. "Here. I'll get you another plate of food."

I gave him a grateful smile. "Have we said the L-word yet? Because if not, I would definitely say I love you right now."

"We've only been fake-dating two months," he whispered. "I usually don't drop the L-bomb until three months into the fake relationship."

I sipped my coffee as he went back up to the buffet. Landon was a funny guy when he wasn't taking himself so seriously. And when he wasn't blackmailing me.

"It's all settled," Danicka said, suddenly at my side again. "Your ticket is booked. You have to come, now!"

"I don't know…" I said.

"Unless there's some other reason you can't come?" Danicka asked.

Does she know about Landon and me? There was no way. She was just rejecting my rejection. I had been convincing all night.

"Let me get some coffee in me and talk logistics with Landon," I said. "I, um, need to find someone to watch my cat while I'm gone."

"Landon told us you were a dog person," Danicka said scornfully. "Don't worry. I won't hold it against you."

Landon returned with a big plate of food. "There were only three pancakes left, so I grabbed them all and added a waffle for good measure. I hope you like syrup, because it's absolutely drowning in the stuff."

"I would definitely drop the L-bomb if this were a real relationship," I whispered while digging in.

"Anything else I can do for my fake girlfriend?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied with a full mouth. "Tell your mom I can't go on the honeymoon. I'll let you figure out the excuse."

Everything was starting to fall back into place. I had coffee in my system and a plate full of breakfast carbohydrates. Once I packed, I could return to my apartment and spend the rest of the day by the pool. I wouldn't have to fake this relationship anymore; I could just be myself.

"Actually," Landon said slowly, "I think you should come to Jamaica."