17. Lost Cause

I don't have to be afraid anymore. I don't have to be afraid anymore. I don't have to be afraid anymore.

But I am. I'm so afraid it hurts. Just a moment ago, I was wrapped in bliss, but now it's vanished without a trace. Everything feels different. Where has all that happiness gone? It sank into oblivion along with all the light I've ever felt.

I am in the dreamscape. Or at least, that's what it's supposed to be. Instead, it feels like a land of nightmares. The air buzzes with an electric hum, like thousands of cold needles prickling my skin. The presence is everywhere, surrounding me, inside me. It fills my lungs with every breath and brushes against my skin with every move. It listens to the thoughts echoing in my mind.

The moss under my feet is damp, squishing between my toes as I stand among the tall trees. I'm in the rainforest—the one near the waterfall.

What is happening?

The last thing I remember is standing in the salt circle, Raven and Camilla by my side. Pain pierced through me so fiercely my vision blurred. Then, I heard Echo's voice. I let him in. I surrendered all control.

No, no, no. Why did I do that?!

Panic grips me.

From the beginning, in that jazz-filled café, he showed me everything I thought I wanted. He made me feel like a normal woman, worthy of the guy of my dreams, going on a date like any ordinary person. He gave me that. But then, he sent his shadows to scare me, to make me dependent on him. He made me feel powerless just to offer himself as the solution, to let him breach my walls. How could I have given myself to him like that?

I wasn't thinking clearly. It wasn't me. He manipulated me. He tricked me.

But it's too late now. I'm in the dreamscape already. In a trap. A prison made just for me.

Yet, I'm not alone in here. I have a jailor, and he stands in front of me.

"You're finally here, my Little Soul," he says, his voice distorted. The smooth, buttery tone from the dreamscape is now layered with the sinister one he used in the dark. "Oh, it feels like forever since I last felt you here."

Shadows blanket the forest, and he lurks among them. I stare at his broad, pale back with shadows curling around his legs. I don't see his face, only the valleys and crannies of his muscled back. His face is turned away, his pitch-black hair ruffled at the back of his head.

"Echo?" I whisper, my voice trembling. "Is that… you?"

I'm scared. I'm terrified. I'm powerless. I hate being powerless.

Cold air seeps between the trees, making the branches sway high in the canopies. They rustle to the beat of my heart. I just stare at him. He's not my protector, not a spirit, but something sinister.

A demon.

"Of course, it is me," he says.

He turns his head slightly, just enough for me to glimpse his profile, a sliver of that familiar but twisted smile. He looks... different. His cobalt blue eyes are now completely black, the whites vanished entirely.

My stomach churns.

"What… What do you want from me?" I whisper.

"What do I want from you?" he repeats, his voice echoing through the dreamscape like rustling leaves above us. "Isn't it obvious? I want you. All of you."

No, no, no. His words sound sweet, almost romantic, but the meaning is twisted and dark. The way he says it, it's like… like he hates me. Like he wants to break me. Like he wants me to suffer.

I want to step back, to flee, but my legs betray me. All I can do is stand there, trembling.

"You tricked me," I whisper. "You lied to me."

He takes a deep breath, clearly annoyed with me. "Did I really? You can tell yourself otherwise, but deep down, you knew. Every night you spent in bliss, every breath you gave to me, you knew what I was. Part of you was scared of me right up until the end, even though you tried to fight it. I took that fear and wove it into your soul. I gave you exactly what you wanted."

A chill runs down my spine, his words filling me with dread. My body feels like trapped in ice, every muscle frozen.

"Little by little, you kept giving yourself to me. You wanted me," he continues. "From the very first moment you felt my gaze upon you..." He turns fully, shadows swirling around him like living extensions of his essence. "All you ever craved was an escape. And that's exactly what I gave you, isn't it?"

My heart drops like a stone, pure fear making it feel like a crashing meteor. Right in front of me, his hair starts growing. His fingers stretch out, and his nails become deadly claws. Darkness spreads over his skin, turning his hands as black as night. His teeth sharpen into vicious points. Ancient-looking tattoos cover his ghostly white skin, blending with the black of his hands and legs, turning him into something I can hardly recognize.

I gasp, unable to look away, as a black tongue slips out of his mouth, sliding over needle-sharp teeth and his shiny black lips. He tilts his head, fixing his gaze right on me.

He's watching me. He's always watching me.

"And now?" I ask.

"Now what?" he replies.

"What will you do to me now?"

He chuckles, a low, menacing sound. "Do you really want to know, my Little Soul?" His smile twists into something dark and sinister. "If you do, I'll tell you everything. The whole truth." His eyes glint with a predatory gleam. "I could reveal what I've done to you during those nights you writhed in bliss. Every agonizing, exquisite detail. But I know how much you savor the doubt, Clarity. You love the suspense, don't you? The not knowing. The fear."

My stomach churns as he mocks me with my dad's nickname for me.

"No," I whisper. "I don't."

"No?" he purrs, a sly grin widening across his face."Then you do want to know what I did to your real body while you were crying out in ecstasy in your astral form? Really?"

My breath catches in my throat. Real body? Astral form?

"I..." I hesitate, my heart pounding in my chest. If he really was the presence behind everything, then whatever he did to me couldn't have been good. If only I were stronger, I'd demand the whole truth from him. But the thought of his answer terrifies me. "I just need to know one thing," I manage to say, my voice trembling, my resolve barely holding together. "Did you ever care for me?"

Why are you even asking about this? You foolish, foolish girl…

The answer is obvious. I must be as much of a masochist as he is a sadist. But I need to hear him say it was all a game. I need to have a reason to hate him as much as I'm scared of him.

"Oh, I did," he says, stepping forward. The shadows pulse in response, flowing across the ground like inky tendrils. They coil around my ankles, brushing up my legs as if tasting my fear. "More than you could ever imagine."

The malice in his tone… I couldn't describe it even if I wanted to.

He reaches out, and an unseen force tugs me toward him, the darkness pressing closer. His power engulfs me, sinking deep into my bones. Suddenly, we're only inches apart. He leans in, his long hair whispering against my skin.

"Why the worry, Little Soul?" he murmurs, his lips grazing my ear. "I was good to you. Now, you can be good to me too, right?"

He pulls away as quickly as he approached. The shadows around me freeze, and his gaze sharpens, searching my face. Then, his twisted smile widens, and he strokes my cheek, his touch icy against my skin.

"What are you going to do to me?" I ask again, my voice trembling. Facing him feels like staring death in the face. But, hell… Maybe it's the same thing.

Just as that thought crosses my mind, something in Echo shifts. His smile fades, and he smacks his black lips.

"Don't compare me to death, Little Soul," he exhales, his voice cold. "He and I are nothing alike."

"W-what?" I stammer.

"He takes everyone. I only take a select few. There is a difference."

"So, you choose who you haunt?" My voice is barely above a whisper, my mind racing to understand. "You chose me?"

His smile returns, and his eyes narrow.

"Sometimes I think that it was you who chose me. Or maybe we just chose each other. What do you think?"

I don't understand anything. I'm trying, but it's useless. I chose him? I chose a demon to shadow me, to watch me every day, to embed this primal fear inside me? No way.

"You must be joking," I say. Then, his black eyes glisten, and the shadow wrapped around my leg caresses me, creeping higher, wrapping my thighs like a blanket, teasing my bare skin. Unexpectedly, warmth blooms in my chest, traveling to my nipples, my abdomen, filling me until wetness pools between my legs.

"What are you doing to me?" I manage to say. "S-stop this."

"Right. What am I doing to you, indeed?" His voice purrs in my ear, so close it sends chills down my spine. "You tell me."

His mouth doesn't move. It stays still in the bone-chilling smile that showcases his teeth perfectly. It's the shadows themselves that speak to me in his voice. It's like instead of being just his extensions like limbs, they are him. He is them.

He steps closer, his black eyes boring into mine as the shadows swirl around us, their embrace tightening like a web. The warmth coursing through me spreads, igniting every nerve ending with a dark pleasure.

A shiver courses through me as I struggle to pull away, fighting against the tendrils winding tighter around me. They grip harder, drawing me nearer to Echo until I can feel his breath warm against my neck again.

"S-stop this," I stammer, my resolve slipping away like sand through my fingers.

I'm just a grain of sand in a sandstorm. I'm a blade of grass…

"If you tell me what I'm doing to you, then I just might," he replies.

His words drift through the air like smoke, wrapping around me and making my head spin.

"What you're doing…" I whisper, my voice barely audible, "you're... making me..." My words trail off, and I bite down, trying to hold on to the last bit of resistance I have.

"Making you what?" he murmurs, his voice a dark, silky whisper that tightens around my mind like a vise.

The shadows tighten around my waist, making it hard to breathe as his tendrils slide over my skin. Warmth blooms inside me, fogging my thoughts and spreading like wildfire through my veins. My resolve melts away, and my eyes flutter shut as his presence takes over.

"Wet," I gasp. "You're making me wet."

"Mm," he muses, his breath cold on my cheek. "That's right. You want me, don't you, my Little Soul? You want me to devour you."

And in that moment, I falter. The warmth in my chest spreads to my every nerve ending. It feels too good to deny.

I can't lie to myself any longer.

As much as I am scared, I'm also impossibly turned on.

I'm falling.

"You'll hurt me," I say. It's not a question, but a statement, something I say more to myself than to him. I don't need his reply. I just know it to be true, no matter what he says. But he gives it to me anyway.

"Yes."

"You'll make me cry," I continue.

"Yes."

"You'll feed on my fear."

He laughs, and it echoes all around me. My chest feels tight under his grip, making it hard to breathe. And even though fear is eating me up inside, the heat rushing through my veins overpowers it all.

"Yes," he whispers finally. "And I'll feed on so much more than that."

For a moment, I'm too distracted to understand. A shadow caresses my inner thigh, running along the hem of my panties teasingly. I'm in a tight white dress that gives it perfect access. Then it hits me—what else he can feed on. Sex. These past two weeks, he's kept me coming so much I've been left feeling spent, like something inside me was missing.

He was feeding on me all this time.

"You want to… fuck me?" I ask, watching his black eyes, the way he runs his tongue along his teeth. He's a creature that could kill me in seconds. I can feel his power brimming beneath my skin.

Then… why? Why keep up the charade? Why indulge in all this?

"You're mine now," he murmurs, the shadows whispering in his voice. "I will do whatever I want with you."

"And if I don't want it?"

"Oh, but you do. Look at you, dripping wet, so needy. You'll do whatever I want," he purrs, his cold fingers tracing the curve of my neck, sending chills down my spine. "Because you can't help it, Little Soul. You've already given yourself to me. You're just as addicted to me as I am to you."

I hate that he's right. My urge to fight him fades by the second. So when another shadow takes over where his hand was on my cheek, sliding down and pressing against my lips with a force I can't resist, it slips into my mouth way too easily.

I drool. I choke. I gasp and slurp and whimper around it. A solid shadow starts fucking my mouth like it owns it.

That's when I taste it—the rose petal. The whole shadow has that flavor—like moonlight mixed with a rose. The last time I felt this, it set my body on fire. It made me want Echo more than I thought possible, driving me crazy with desire.

And now, it's happening again.

"You said you'd stop," I stammer as the pressure eases off my mouth for a moment. But then, it slithers around—coiling over my tongue, grazing my teeth, slipping under my lips, caressing my gums. The taste spreads, consuming every corner.

"No, Clarity," Echo purrs, a smile in their voice. "I said I just might."

Other shadows tease and coax me, caressing my thighs until I moan. I want to resist, but my limbs are heavy, and my mind is fogged with pleasure. My lips tremble as I try to form a response.

Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Liar, I scream at Echo in my mind. I know he'll hear me. You're a fucking liar.

He just laughs.

"I'm a demon, baby," he replies, tilting his head unnaturally, his eyes wide and fixed on the shadow plunging into my mouth. "That's what we do."

Tears fill my eyes. I don't want to cry, but the way he strokes my tongue deep in my throat makes them water. He's toying with my reactions, wanting to make me gag around him, wanting to see me struggle for breath.

"That's right. Suffocate for me, Little Soul." One tendril squeezes my chest too tightly while another travels to my throat. Air… I need air. "Be a good girl for me."

My mind spins, caught between the pleasure burning through my veins and the panic gripping my chest. Echo watches me intently, his smile twisted with dark satisfaction.

"Struggle for me," he murmurs, his voice like a caress of ice. "I want to feel you fight."

It's too much. It's all too much. I am breaking. I can't take it anymore…

And then, just when I feel like I might pass out, his shadow slips my panties to the side and rubs against my clit. The shock is so intense it feels like it's the only thing that keeps me conscious.

My vision narrows, darkness creeping in at the edges. My body is aflame, every nerve alight. I moan around the shadow, my body writhing in his grasp as I try to draw a breath. The air wheezes past my throat slowly, forcefully. It's not enough.

He keeps rubbing me, slicking between my wet folds and teasing my opening before flicking my clit again. It's torture, but also… it's bliss.

This thought invades my mind.

Bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss…

"If it's bliss, then I want to hear you beg for more, Little Soul," Echo whispers among it. The shadow loosens in my throat, retreating just far enough for me to take my first full breath. Then, all wet and slick, it uncurls from my lips slowly, sliding out of my mouth. "Beg."

I'm panting and trembling, fear and lust mixing in my veins like they are the only things I'm made of.

Beg for more.

My voice falters, barely above a broken whisper.

"Please," I murmur, the word shattered.

His smile widens, smile widens, a flicker of triumph in his eyes. His shadow starts vibrating against my clit, a sick reward.

What is… what is happening to me?!

"Louder, my Little Soul. I want to hear you."

How can I resist this? It's impossible. I wanted nothing more than to be with his every minute of my dream life. I wanted him so much that it hurt, and now those feelings still burn inside me. They fight with my rational mind.

I'm a lost cause.

"Please," I gasp, my voice trembling. "More."

His laughter floats through the air.

"That's my good girl," he whispers, his lips grazing my jaw. His kiss is so tender, it almost feels like he loves me. It's delicate and sweet. But then, his shadow smacks my clit, and he bites down hard in the same spot he just kissed, his sharp teeth sinking into my skin.

Pain.

All I feel is white hot pain.

I want to push him away, but his shadows have me bound tightly, pulsing against my slick skin and holding me in place.

I'm bound. I'm hopeless. I'm defenseless. I'm powerless again.

He feeds on me, licking the little puncture wounds on my jaw with his black tongue, savoring the blood. But that sound he makes... that low, guttural groan... it rattles me to my core.

I want to hear more of it.

Something takes over me. I place my palms on his pale chest, sliding one hand around his neck and tangling my fingers in his raven hair. I guide his head lower, to my neck.

He stiffens. If I didn't know better, I'd say he's surprised. But he knows everything about me, so it cannot be it. Still, there's a moment of hesitation in him before he adapts. But when he does…

His shadow plunges into my pussy, filling me completely. There's no more teasing, no playing. Only raw, pure desire. It sinks into my bones, amplifying the power of the rose liquid in my mouth.

"Oh… Echo…" I moan.

His teeth sink into the tender flesh of my neck, pain mingling with a rush of pleasure so intense my breath catches. My fingers grip his hair tightly, my body arching toward him as he drinks from my skin.

"Yes… Yes!" I gasp.

He presses closer, his body cold and unyielding, his shadows pulsing inside me, drawing more cries from my lips.

"Oh, I'm gonna…"

I can't finish what I want to say because just as quickly as he leapt at me, he unwraps me, his shadows retreating from around my body and my pussy. He licks my blood one more time and takes a step back.

I still cry as I collapse to the floor, unable to hold myself upright. My knees slam into the moss, my legs like jelly beneath me. It hurts, but it's nothing compared to the emptiness of losing him inside me.

I almost came. I was so close…

He totally did it on purpose, I just know it. But when I lift my chin and make myself look him in the eye—seeing his demonic form—a shiver runs down my spine. He's trembling.

"I'm going to play a game with you," he says suddenly, his voice low and grave. "Try running from my shadows, Clarity. If you last long enough, I might consider making a deal with you. Demon to human."

My body is caught between still wanting him and being impossibly worn out, my legs barely holding me up. But his challenge is clear.

Run.

His dark eyes lock onto mine, a twisted smile curling on his lips like a predator taunting its prey. Shadows swirl around him, coiling like serpents as he steps back, giving me just enough space to stand.

My pulse pounds in my ears as I push myself up. It's difficult, but I steady myself, my gaze locked on his while my breath comes out in harsh gasps.

"And if I don't run?" I ask, my voice raw.

His eyes pierce through me, deadly serious.

"Then I'll just eat your soul here and now."