5. Della

CHAPTER 5

Della

D arkness descends.

Living in a cloud of deep depression, sinking with the ship into the depths of the water, is the only way to describe how I feel. I block out everything from those around me and am left with my own feelings. A scary place to be when all I want is to bask in sunshine and enjoy the rays of light.

Darkness descends.

Like I'm the one breeding the hate of the world I live in, capturing me in its fingerless hold and never letting go.

I'm a target for the sick and twisted, a dumping ground for the depraved, and it invades my soul to the point that I no longer know who I am. I'm stuck in the mud and sinking slowly. So slowly that I can't move without dipping deeper into the muck.

Della. My eyes pop open.

I hear him. Whoever he is.

The menacing force ruining my life before it can even begin.

He's always lurking, waiting around the corners of my mind like we're connected, but I know better. I know my abilities more than anyone else, which means he's here on the property.

Throwing the blankets off, I move to the French doors overlooking my balcony and the rear of the estate. My eyes scan the perimeter, but I won't see him. I never do. And when I report his presence, my dad's guards look at me like I've lost my mind.

Perhaps I have.

Sometimes it feels that way.

I'm never sure if what I'm seeing or feeling is in my head or for real. At times, it gets hard to distinguish, and I can't know for sure when I feel as raw as I did after my afternoon spent with Holy and Cece.

When Holy touches me, I don't usually feel his emotions like with everyone else. I don't discern anything from him, and it's been mind-boggling, but when he took a sip of the lemonade before I did, I caught a glimpse into his mind. I felt more in that tiny sip than I have in all the prior times I've spent in his company.

I was rattled. Terrified.

Ready to dive right over the railing of the pier.

Because what I felt from Holy was nothing like I'd experienced before.

Holy was fire and safety. Ice and warmth. He was a haven I hadn't imagined for myself. And that's the problem. He can't be any of those things for me because once he discovers my secret, he'll walk the other way. No one wants to be around someone who can read your every emotion and perceive your thoughts simply by occupying the same space.

Closing and locking the doors, I pull the curtains closed and quietly head down to my crafting room. I know I won't sleep anymore tonight, so being productive will prevent me from feeling like I'm losing my mind.

Switching on a lamp on my desk, I open the new bag of stones I bought today. Placing the ones I ordered aside, I reach for the pink heart stone and already know exactly what I'm making. A lover's necklace. With black leather rope and small prosperity rocks to sit in the kiss of the heart so it settles in the brackets nicely.

I'm so lost in what I'm doing that I don't realize anyone has joined me until a glass of iced water is placed on the desk in front of me.

Jumping back, I'm caught in strong arms. "Didn't mean to startle you." Holy's voice is deep and soothing. It also explains why I didn't realize I wasn't alone. "Why are you up so late?" He sits in the empty chair across from me, and I bite my tongue to hide my reaction to him being shirtless.

Sweet mercy, he is a fine-looking man, sculpted like he came from a museum in Italy. Dark hair dusts his chest, thicker across his pecs and trailing down his stomach to where I'm sure they'll lead into his shorts.

"Couldn't sleep," I mumble, lifting my shoulders in a shrug and returning to my work. He's a distraction, and as I move to burn two pieces of metal together, I slip and singe the tip of my finger.

"Dammit, Della." Grabbing my hand, he doesn't hesitate to put the tip in his mouth, allowing the saliva to soothe the burning sensation.

Gasping, my body heats up, and my chest flows with warmth and light. An overwhelming feeling of protectiveness envelops me, and I find myself drawn to Holy in a way I've never experienced before. It's like being bathed in a glow of peace and tranquility. It's addicting, making me want more, and I find myself greedy for the textures and colors flickering in my mind.

"Della?" Holy's confused voice pulls me from myself, and my eyes slowly open. A haze covers my vision until I register the way he's glaring at me. The anger simmering in his eyes shrivels up all the good I felt until darkness descends once again.

"I'm so sorry." Tugging my hand back, I grab a band-aid from the drawer in my desk. It's not the first time I've hurt myself while working, and I wrap my finger.

"What the fuck was that, Della?" I can't bring myself to look at him.

Grabbing my air pods, I put one in before hitting "play" on my iPod dock and shrug. "It just happens sometimes." Slipping the other bud in, I force back the tears at his angered response that feels a whole lot like rejection. I can't face that. Not now, not when I'm so exposed. When he's close to learning my secret.

In the morning, I must tell my father that he needs to bring Holy into the loop and ensure he tells no one else about my unique abilities. Reading emotions and absorbing pain and illness is something I was gifted by whichever deity out there possesses the ability to do that, and I hate them for it every single day of my life. Even more so now that the man I've crushed on for years will never look at me again like a regular woman with just a few minor quirks.

To Holy, I'll always be a science experiment—just like everyone else. Unless, of course, they need me. I was foolish to think his attention could remain pure.

Startled from my work, my soldering pen is taken from my grasp as Holy cups my cheeks in both hands and lands a kiss on my lips so forceful, so intimidating and domineering that I quickly lose my breath.

I'm swarmed with his emotions. They breach the walls he put up and invade my veins like a lost traveler, taking up residence inside my head and heart like he owns me.

Maybe, just maybe, in this moment, he does.

I hope he does.

My heart races while my body leans into his. Our tongues touch, and he's more confident than I am, taking the lead and delving deeper. Tasting every inch of my mouth while his hands move down my body to lift me to straddle his lap.

One of us moans, or maybe it's both, and suddenly, I'm pressed as tightly to him as if we are making love. Only our clothes are in the way.

My hands wrap around his neck as he grabs a chunk of my hair and tilts my head back, forcing the kiss deeper and stealing all rationale from my sanity as I get lost in how he's feeling.

My skin prickles with awareness as I slowly tune into him. His lust, his need, this craving lurking beneath the surface that he hides from the world outside. It seeps in, slinking through my flesh in ripples of pleasure that are too much for my untried body to withstand.

The orgasm overtakes me before I fully understand what's happening, and I whine into his mouth as I tense in his arms. Holy holds me tighter, kisses me deeper, and grinds his sex into my pulsing core as I continue to explode like stars falling from the sky.

Out of breath, terrified of what just happened, and amazed at how we came together with such incendiary force, I try to slip from his grip, but he won't let me go.

"Not fucking likely." His grasp in my hair tightens, securing me in his lap. "You need to fucking explain to me what the hell is happening…what just fucking happened because, Della, that wasn't fucking normal." His voice is husky, as if he's been screaming for hours on end.

Swallowing past the nervous lump in my throat, I can't form a thought, but he won't let go until I do. "I've been like this my whole life." The words come out barely above a whisper.

"What is it, and why the fuck did I have that reaction?" I frown at his words.

"What do you mean?" I'm the only one who has ever felt what happens.

"Della, I felt you. I don't mean your body; I mean you…inside. Whatever was happening inside of you, I felt to my fucking core."

"You did?" I whisper, horrified as he nods. "That's never happened before."

"So, how about you tell me what has happened before?" He tugs a bit harder than last time, so I'm forced to maintain eye contact.

Taking a deep breath, I spill my guts. "I can feel emotions. I can heal pain. I can touch a person and know their every thought and feeling." His eyes narrow. "Usually, people don't even know what's happening, only me."

"Usually…" The word hangs there.

"You're the first person who has ever known what I've been feeling in return." Closing my eyes, I prepare for the rejection to come. "I can't read your thoughts like others, just what you feel."

"What happened at the pier?" He saw that? Oh god.

"Before taking that drink after you had, I'd never been able to get a read on you. Aside from studying your body language, you've been a mystery. With Malice, I knew he was in love with Odette before even he did, I think. But you, you have always been an emotionless wall I couldn't breach." He nods for me to continue. "Wrapping my lips around the straw after you did, getting your saliva in my mouth, it triggered something. I don't know what; I just know that right now, aside from the erection between my legs and the lust in your eyes, I have no idea what you feel or think. When we kissed, I felt everything. I was so overwhelmed with both of our desires that I had my first orgasm." Might as well go for broke. It's not like he'll ever want to see me again, anyway.