17. Della

CHAPTER 17

Della

E verywhere hurts. It's like someone took a sledgehammer to my body to see how much I could take, waited for me to heal, and started all over again. I can't move, breathing is hard, and even trying to remember the last few days hurts my brain.

I'm in absolute agony, but once the beeping penetrates my mind, I realize I'm out of hell. I have a vague sense of Holy holding me, but I can't pull the memory forward.

"Sshhh, baby, I'm here, just rest." My entire body shivers at his voice in my ear, and then I explode with pain. It's overwhelming and unbearable and almost makes me wish I were dead. "No, no, no, stay still. I'm going to call the nurse." It's then I feel Holy holding my hand, and I squeeze because I don't want him to leave me.

"Stay," I rasp, but I don't make a sound. His thumb brushes across my knuckles and helps me relax again.

"Just pushing a button; they won't be long."

I want to ask how long I've been here and what happened, but I just can't muster up the energy.

And he's right, it's not long before someone quietly enters the room, almost like they understand that any noise will be hell on my senses. "Hello, Della. My name is Selena Whitman. I'm a registered nurse here at Knox Medical Center. For the most part, I'll be your main caregiver. Mr. Sinclair was very adamant in his needs for you, and while my bosses aren't pleased, I'm kind of jealous and completely understanding of his need to give you the best and most comforting care while you're here."

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. "Don't try and talk, baby, just listen to Selena. She's good at what she does." Jealousy roars its ugly head at his familiar use of her name. It's ridiculous and enraging because I shouldn't even be concerned about that, but here I am, silently fuming and unable to move or even open my eyes.

"I'm going to remove the bandages from your eyes; it's why you're likely having trouble opening them." Now that she's said something, I feel the tape on my forehead and cheeks. She's fast and easy in her movements to take them off. "Keep your eyes closed, Della. I'm just going to use a damp cloth to moisten your skin and make it easier, then I'll dim the lights overhead so you aren't bombarded with stimulation." I nod gently as she gets to work.

The entire time, Holy holds my hand, drawing circles on the inside of my wrist and gently rubbing up and down the soft skin of my forearms. He keeps me distracted and soothed until Selena tells me to take my time in opening my eyes.

"I hear you're quite the jewelry maker." I recognize the smile in her tone as my eyes begin to focus on the place her voice is coming from. "Mr. Sinclair here has been showing off the pieces he's secretly purchased from you over the years." I hear Holy growl and sigh. I love that sound.

"I knew it was you," I tell him as I turn to see his blurry face. Lifting my hand to his lips, I'm alarmed at the bruising on my arm.

He winces. "Sorry, babe. I needed to get fluids in you, and I wasn't exactly gentle with the IV." Shocked, I can only stare. I had no idea.

"He didn't do too terrible, but I knew if we didn't get something else in you, it was going to look worse," Selena explains as she points the IV on my other arm.

"How long?" My throat is raw, and speaking hurts like a bitch.

"Six days," Holy replies, and I feel a little sick. "Now that you're awake, it'll likely be a few more before they let me take you home." I glance at Selena for confirmation, and she nods before sitting beside me on the bed.

"You were near death when you arrived." Her deep breath is heavy as she releases it. "I'll be honest, the reason Mr. Sinclair fought so hard for me to be your nurse is that there have been rumors for years that I'm able to make a person feel better with a simple touch." She rolls her eyes. "I like to think it's my dashing personality, but he's right, I can. Not to the capacity that you're able to; however, I can soothe emotions. Help in the sense that I make an emotional impact on a person."

"You're an empath, too?" I had no idea there were others out there like me.

"I am, darling, and I'd really like to help you in any way I can once you're better." Her smile is so warm and welcoming.

"I'd like that." Tears float to the surface again, and I hate it, but for once, they're from relief instead of fear or agony or flat-out sadness.

"Good." She pats my hand. "You get some rest, and we'll talk more later." I nod because I'm too choked up to speak.

As soon as she's gone, Holy leans forward, capturing my lips in a kiss filled with desperation, and I quickly get lost in his sphere. Right where I want to be.

"Fuck, baby, you can't do that shit to me again. You feel me dying, fucking let me go." His hand has wrapped around my throat while he says this and slowly moves up to grip my jaw so I'm unable to look away from him. "You're worth more than me."

Swallowing, I allow the tears to escape as I say, "There would have been no me without you, Holy. I can't live if you don't." My eyes stare into his intense gaze. "I don't want to. You die, I die."

"Fuck, woman." This kiss is more brutal. It's fierce, and we fight for dominance even as his touch grows gentle, and I know I won't win. His tongue pushes through my lips as I taste the coffee on his breath, needing more of him.

Holy crawls into bed with me. Shoving the blankets to the side, he settles between my legs and creates the connection we both desperately seek until we need to breathe again.

"You can't fucking say that shit, Del, especially when I can't fuck you afterwards and show you how much you mean to me." Caressing along my throat, he squeezes gently, giving me the firm hand he thinks I need.

"I don't need you to show me, Holy, I can feel it." And I do; there's a frantic and desperate urgency inside him to express what he feels, but I absorb it with every touch. He's reckless and impulsive in his love for me. I would even go so far as to say it isn't love he feels at all but something more.

Something obsessive and compulsive. Leaving him with a hopelessness when he's away from me in the same way I feel when he's gone.

"Tell me what you feel in me," he whispers, leaning forward to kiss down my neck.

"A vicious and dangerous desire to keep me by your side. A reckless and drastic craving for us to become one. I feel your burning obsession to keep me as yours, and Holy, I feel the same." In ways I never would have imagined or dreamed up because there is nothing I want more than to belong to Holy Sinclair and for him to be mine in return.

"Christ, Del, you pull it all out of me," he groans as he moves to lie beside me. Tucking me into his chest, I allow his emotions to overtake me and drive out all the pain and agony I've been feeling since I was taken from him. This man completes me in ways I never would have imagined or desired for myself.

My exhaustion finally wins out as Holy lulls me into a deep sleep that is more restful than what I've had in the past week of unconsciousness.

* * *

"You need to leave, Nico." CJ's voice penetrates my mind as I slowly begin to wake up.

"No can do. Holy asked me to make sure no one came in." He's smug. I wish they'd just get together already. CJ has been half in love with the man since we were teenagers, but he's a stubborn asshole who won't even consider her because of their age difference.

"I don't care. You can do it from the hallway," she hisses at him, and I can almost picture her nails flicking out like claws to scratch at him.

"Where is Holy?" I ask to break them up.

"Oh god, Del, I'm sorry. This ape refuses to leave." She turns to glare at him.

"You two really should just fuck already," I mutter, not meaning to say it out loud. Tears spring to CJ's eyes, and she won't look at him now.

"If it wouldn't mean forever to her, I would," Nico snaps, and I want to kick my own ass because the depression that envelops my best friend is heartbreaking. Nico smirks, but I sense his sadness and wonder about that, but I won't ask.

He leaves the room, and I turn my head to CJ. "I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to say that out loud. It was just a thought, and then my lips formed the words."

"It's fine." She waves her hand, but I know it's not. Her heartbreak slams me hard because, while they've bickered for years, neither has acknowledged their sexual tension or that they have feelings for each other.

Being outright rejected by Nico has done something to CJ, and I'm sure when she moves away, it'll likely be for good. Her family and mine do business with Nico often enough that they'd bump into each other frequently, and she wouldn't be able to get over him, so why would she come back?

"I'm sorry, CJ. I wish he would get his head out of his ass already." Reaching for her, I hold her hand reassuringly as she works to get herself under control.

"It's better I know what he wants and feels now instead of getting involved and having my heart broken." She puts on a beaming smile that doesn't reach her eyes, let alone her heart, and I know my friend is devastated.

Deciding a subject change might be in order, I ask about school. "How's classes?" I did some online ones for a while, but I just wasn't feeling them, so after my last semester, I didn't re-enroll.

"Good, I suppose. Boring, really, but I graduate this year." A forlorn look enters her eyes, and I can already tell what she's thinking.

"Do you have any job offers yet?" CJ will be a fantastic teacher. She loves kids, and if she goes for the grade I think she is, she'll change so many little lives.

"I have an interview in Virginia next week and a part-time offer in South Carolina, but I've also been looking at teaching abroad. Might be a good time." I can tell she's not into any of it. I know she was hoping that Nico would finally man up and see her as an intelligent, competent woman once she was done with college.

The idiot just ruined that. I still can't believe he said what he did.

"Well, wherever you wind up, I'll at least get to travel, finally!" Her smile is genuine this time as she grips my hands tightly.

"You'll help me house hunt." Nodding my agreement, we grow silent as Nurse Selena comes back in to let me know I can go home in the morning.

As excited as I am for the news, I'm more concerned about my friend. Something is going on with the strong-willed woman, and she's keeping it to herself.

As we begin talking about her options for the future, Holy enters the room, and this knot that sat in my chest loosens. Nico follows behind, and I watch the change in CJ. She stiffens and refuses to look at the man. Holy notices it, too, and raises a brow at me in question. I faintly shake my head and accept the hug from CJ before she leaves. Holy sends Nico on an errand so he can't follow after her, and I sigh. For a man who insists he's no good, he sure cares about those around him.

"Carter will be here in a little bit with some food." My stomach grumbles at his words, and he grins. "Figured you might want something more than Jello and popsicles."

Yawning when he climbs into bed with me, I don't waste a second cuddling into his chest when I notice blood staining his fingers.

Pushing my hand under Holy's shirt, I offer him the comfort he so freely gives me as I fall into a deep sleep, knowing I'll always be safe under his care.