20. Nolan

CHAPTER 20

Nolan

T he morning light filters through the window as I slowly begin to wake up. I inhale Katie’s flowery scent and start grinning. I’m in her bed right now. She came to me last night. She asked me to come over. I’m so happy I’m pretty sure I could float if I put my mind to it.

I reach my hand out only to find cool sheets. Does the woman never sleep in?

No, idiot. She has a kid. Of course, she doesn’t sleep in.

I force myself out of her very comfortable bed, quickly brush my teeth, and use the bathroom. It’s time to find my girl and finally have a serious talk about us. I know she wants this. I could see it in her eyes last night, but what I don’t know are her reservations. Why is she holding herself back? Is it something I can fix, or do I just need to give her time? If I don’t know what they are, I can’t do anything about them.

A glance at my phone tells me it’s ten in the morning. I’m usually asleep until noon after I close down the bar. I’m glad I woke up, though. I don’t want to waste a single moment I have alone with Katie.

I find her in the living room, ass in the air as she stretches out her calves in downward dog. “Goddamn, woman. ”

She huffs out a laugh, shaking her head.

I move closer to her, eying the other mat in the corner of the room. “Are you just starting?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Mind if I join you?” I don’t wait for an answer and roll out the other mat a safe distance from hers. I make sure I can watch her movements to follow her flow.

“Apparently not,” she says dryly.

I grin at her and work through a couple of quick warm-up stretches before I push up into downward dog. She immediately falls into teaching mode, calling out poses as she moves so I know what we’re doing next. If she teaches yoga, nothing in this world would stop me from joining her class.

I’m not sure if she’s testing me or if this was her original goal, but she pushes us through a tough flow. My muscles are burning by the time we finally start our cool-down. Maybe I should start my day like this every day. I meditate in the evenings to help me calm my heart rate enough to sleep, but I never thought about doing yoga to help me wake up.

“Fuck me, little dove. That was intense,” I say after we’ve rested a while. A clench of my abs gets me into a seated position.

“I’d apologize, but I kind of wanted to see what you could handle.”

“Mean,” I whine, making her laugh. “I haven’t done a flow like that in a long time.”

“I usually do my power flows when Cody isn’t here. He likes to do yoga with me, and some of those poses can’t be altered for his little body, so while I did want to see what you could do, I was already going to do that flow.”

“Understandable.”

“How long have you been doing yoga?” She sits up with graceful movements, highlighting every long line of her body.

“Eight months or so? To be honest, I started going because I was interested in the instructor. It took one class for me to lose interest in her and start going because I loved it. What about you?”

“Oh, years. I started before Cody was born and have stuck with it ever since. I try to do a flow every morning. It keeps me centered when my students are being unruly.” She stands and starts to clean up the living room. I help get everything put back the way it should be.

“What time is Cody getting back?” I ask as we head to the kitchen. I start a cup of coffee for Katie, internally laughing when I read the saying on it. Not my monkeys, not my… Oh, shit. That is my monkey. And my circus.

“Not until this afternoon.” She reaches for the cup that I slide toward her. I turn back to the coffeemaker to start my cup.

“Do you want me to go?”

She frowns at me. “Why would I want that?”

My stomach flips over at her question. I move around the island to stand in front of her while the coffee maker buzzes. “I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t wearing out my welcome. I could stay here for… days.” I practically choke on the last word. I almost just fucking told her I’d stay with her forever. Talk about putting the cart before the horse.

“Stay, please.” The vulnerability shining in her eyes gives me the opening to talk about what happened between us last night.

I kiss her softly, needing the connection more than I can tell her. “My feelings for you are unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s as if I was going through the motions before, but now I know what it means to truly live my life to the max.”

Pleasure softens her gorgeous brown eyes. “No one has ever treated me the way you do, Nolan. It’s hard for me to trust it sometimes. Even when you have never given me a reason not to believe the things you do or say. In fact, I’ve never trusted anyone more than I do you. Well, Ellie and Sue maybe, but that’s it. The sad truth is, my past has proven time and again that trusting someone is a dangerous game. I don’t let people in easily. I don’t let them spend time with my son. I refuse to put him through the same heartbreak I’ve experienced at the hands of people who say they care. But I’m trying. You wouldn’t be standing in my kitchen right now if I truly didn’t want you here.”

I palm her cheeks and press a kiss on her forehead. What has she been through to make her this distrustful? How shitty of a man do you have to be to treat a woman as special as Katie so horribly that she can’t trust when someone is being kind to her?

“Some day, when you’re ready, will you tell me about your past? I want to know about every piece of you—the good and the bad—because it made you who you are today, and that woman is the one I’m starting to fall hard for.”

Katie looks at me for a long moment and then nods her head. “I promise. One day, I’ll tell you everything.”

I kiss her plump lips before pulling away to get my coffee. We spend the rest of the morning getting to know one another, sharing the things we love and things we don’t. She tells me a little about raising Cody on her own after her parents died, and I want to rage over how strong she was forced to be. No one should have to go through that alone.

Her phone rings in the living room, and she jumps up to grab it. “This might be Cody’s friend’s mom. Hang on.” She lifts the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

I shoot up from the table as the blood drains from Katie’s face. Her wide eyes are locked on me. I hold on to her arms, wishing I could do something to take that look from her face.

“No,” she says with force. “I won’t let you. You’ve done nothing to deserve that privilege.”

I stay silent. I’m in awe of her strength, despite how visibly terrified she is. Who the hell could scare her this much ?

“You can’t,” she whispers, shock and terror battling back and forth. Resignation fills her. “Fine. But I will be there the whole time, and if he wants to leave, we will.”

When she hangs up, she drops her forehead to my chest. I wrap my arms around her, doing my best to be her solid ground.

After a few minutes, she pulls back from me, visibly rebuilding her walls. Is she putting them up between us, or is she merely finding her strength again? Only the next few minutes will tell me.

Katie swallows as her eyes meet mine. Her gaze is intense, as if she’s trying to read something on my face. “You’re not asking what happened.”

“Do you want me to?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

The corner of my mouth tilts at that. “Well, I just figured you’d tell me if you wanted to. It wouldn’t have mattered if I asked or not. I’m not going to say I don’t want to know. The fucker who put that look on your face needs their nose broken, but I’m patient enough to wait until you’re ready to share.”

Her shoulders soften, and she steps back into my arms. She tightens her grip around my waist, laying her cheek on my chest. For a minute, I’m not sure she’s going to say anything, but then her quiet voice drops a bomb I wasn’t prepared for.

“That was Cody’s dad. He threatened to sue me for custody if I didn’t let him see Cody.”

“That motherfucker,” I growl.

“His family is incredibly wealthy, and even if I don’t think he’d win, I can’t afford to go through a drawn-out court case, and he knows it.”

“Has he ever met Cody?” I’m wading into unknown territory here. While Katie’s willing to share about this phone call, I’m not confident she’s ready to give me everything .

She sighs. “No. That story is long, and we don’t really have time for me to get into it before Cody gets back, but basically, his family paid me off so I wouldn’t sue them for child support. I signed papers saying I wouldn’t, and I haven’t contacted them since. I never wanted anything from them. I didn’t even use the money they gave me. I’ve set it aside for Cody to use however he sees fit.”

“Of course, you did.” I kiss her on the forehead. “You’re fucking incredible, little dove.”

Katie’s laugh is humorless. “I don’t agree, but that’s beside the point.” She steps away from me to drop down onto the couch. I sit next to her and wrap my arm around her shoulders. She snuggles into my chest, making me feel ten feet tall. Being able to provide some measure of comfort to her is everything I’ve hoped for.

“The one thing I regret is not ensuring they could never try to take Cody from me. I was a terrified twenty-year-old trying to navigate a world I didn’t understand. All I wanted was my little boy. I was willing to sign just about anything to make that happen. Bryce was so angry at me for keeping the baby that I never imagined he’d ever want anything to do with Cody.”

“Did he say why he’s suddenly interested now?”

“No, but I plan to fucking find out. I refuse to put Cody through the same hurt I went through.”

“How much does Cody know about his dad?”

“Not a lot. I never wanted to be the person who rags on their kid’s father—even if I’d be justified. I told Cody that because we were so young when we found out about him, his dad just wasn’t ready to be a good dad to him. Cody knows about the trust fund I set up for him, but I didn’t give him details about the money either. He’s smarter than any eight-year-old should be, so I’d imagine he’s connected some dots that I haven’t explained. I’m just not sure which ones. We don’t talk about his dad very often. ”

“What are you going to tell him when he gets home?”

“The truth, I guess. I don’t know. I haven’t gotten that far.”

“Do you want me to go before he gets here? I don’t want to overstep here or make him uncomfortable.”

Katie sits up and kisses me with a tenderness that makes my eyes burn. “You can stay. I want you to stay. Which is a little scary, if I’m honest. I always thought that if I started seeing someone, I’d keep this side of my life separate from them. But having you here, being able to share this with you… it’s everything. For the first time in my life, I don’t feel so alone.”

I run my thumb across her cheek, marveling at how strong my woman is to open herself up to me. “You’ll never have to be alone again if I have anything to say about it.”

A bright smile lights up Katie’s face, and with that one look, I know without a shadow of a doubt, I’m in love with her.