Chapter Twenty-Two

The heady aromas of evergreen, cinnamon and peppermint mixed together with burning wood and more baked goods than Benjamin could categorize, every scent soaking into his memories as much as they permeated his clothing. He stood in the parlor in front of the Kincaid Christmas tree, its lights blinking and reflecting off the frosted windows facing the porch. Christmas had been a week before, but one of the many traditions of the Kincaid family was to leave the Christmas tree up until after the new year.

He"d missed Christmas, caught up in the final stages of Jon Roth"s trial and dealing with his mother as she worked out the details of having her husband incarcerated for the next five years for assault with a deadly weapon and attempted murder. He was sentenced to five years for each crime—which Benjamin felt was pathetic for the pain he caused—to be served consecutively, and an additional fine equaling $55,000. Benjamin was still angry with his mother and Ben Prescott for their deception, but in the end, he couldn"t leave her alone to deal with the mess Jon Roth left behind. As soon as things were wrapped up as much as they could be, he"d bundled up his sister and left Hartford for Boston. Both he and Victoria needed space between them and Hartford to sort through everything.

Tonight, he would bring in the new year with the Kincaids while Victoria and Dillon celebrated together at the townhouse. She was improving, but she wasn"t ready to spend too much time out, and she"d ordered Benjamin to get out of the house before he smothered her—or she killed him.

He chuckled and smiled at his little sister"s demands.

Motion past the window caught his attention, and he squinted to see through the frost and light reflection. Benjamin didn"t even attempt to hold back the smile when he saw Jewell and Garnett climb out of Garnett"s SUV, both carrying large paper takeout bags. Another tradition of the Kincaid family was a massive feast of Chinese takeout on New Year"s Eve, and Cecil Kincaid had told Benjamin when he arrived that Jewell had gone with her brother to pick up the food. She came up the porch stairs beside her brother, and a gust of cold air curled into the parlor from the foyer when they entered. Benjamin stayed in his spot but turned to face the room so he could see her when she entered.

A few minutes later, the aromas of various Chinese dishes mingled with every other smell in the house, she came through the doorway from the kitchen and smiled when she saw him. She was so beautiful it stole his breath. Her thick waves of auburn hair hung unhindered around her shoulders, parted on the side so the waves slanted across her forehead to brush her cheeks. A soft yellow sweater over perfect-fitting jeans showed off her amazing figure and the blush in her cheeks from the cold made her glow. She crossed the room, pausing to fluff Pearl"s hair where she sat in front of the fireplace coloring, and stepped into his arms when she reached him. Benjamin only considered for about half a second that her parents were in the next room and her little sister was a few feet away before he pushed his fingers into her hair and tipped her head for a deep kiss, one he"d wanted since he"d seen her three days earlier.

Jewell lifted her arms slowly, wrapping them around his neck as she leaned into the kiss, her hum vibrating against his lips. When he felt her smile, he pulled back and wrapped his arms around her, his palms against her back.

"I"ve missed you," she said before kissing him again.

"I"ve missed you, too. Your nose is cold."

She laughed, the rumble shifting through her body against his hands and chest. A tug on his sleeve forced him to look away from her and down to Pearl. She beamed up at him, her pale blonde hair escaping from her loose ponytail to frame her face like a halo. She held out a construction paper circle in green, with glitter and glue stripe decorations and a marker drawing in the middle of what might have passed as Benjamin. A red gift ribbon was tied through a punched hole at the top, and across the bottom was his name: BenJaMIN.

Benjamin crouched down to be eye level with her and took the ornament. "Is this for me?" he asked, and she nodded. "Thank you, Pearl."

"It"s for our precious tree," she signed and pointed at the Christmas tree beside him.

Benjamin looked up at Jewell, curious about Pearl"s description of their tree, and wondered at the glisten in her eyes. Jewell smiled and smoothed Pearl"s hair before signing, "Why don"t you explain our precious tree to Benjamin, sweetheart."

Pearl nodded and took Benjamin"s hand, tugging on him to turn so he had to stand and follow or fall over. She pointed at several other handcrafted ornaments that hung from the evergreen branches. Some were made of construction paper like the one she"d given him. Some were made from felt. Some were glued together wooden tongue depressors. Each one had a word or a name written on it: Jewell, Garnett, Red Sox, Ruby, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, Pearl, Mama, Love, God, My New Family, Snow, Daddy.

"These are all our precious things," Pearl signed, her gaping smile enough to make him smile just as wide. "Precious means something very valuable, or one who is dear or beloved." As she signed, she had an expression of deep concentration, like she wanted to make sure she got every word correct. "See? I said Mama and Daddy, those are mine. And I said pumpkin chocolate chip cookies because they"re my favorite. And now you." She touched the end of his nose.

The lump in his throat surprised him, and he didn"t quite understand it. Drawing in a slow breath through his nose, he touched his fingertips to his lips and brought his hand down, palm up. "Thank you."

She smiled and threw her arms around his neck, pressing a sloppy kiss to his cheek before she ran out of the room. Benjamin rose from his crouch, watching her disappear around the corner into the hallway like a streak of white lightning. Cecil Kincaid deftly stepped sideways to avoid her and waved to them.

"Dinner is on the table. Come eat."

He looked down at the ornament, running his finger across the smooth wax crayon lines. Turning to the tree, he reached above his head and hung the construction paper decoration. Jewell"s fingers laced through his and he looked down at her. She smiled, but a single tear slipped from her eye. Benjamin smoothed the trail away with his thumb. "Why are you crying?"

"It"s official."

He led her toward the dining room, maneuvering around the couch without looking away from her face. "What"s official?"

"You"re on the precious tree. You"re part of the family."

He stopped, cupped her cheek, and kissed her. She had no idea how much courage little Pearl"s ornament had given him. He only hoped he could hang on to that courage a little longer.

* * *

Jewell stacked the various containers of eggs foo yung, pork chow mein, fried rice, and teriyaki steak before setting them on a refrigerator shelf beside the rest of the leftovers from dinner. She was so full she felt like she"d burst, but knew in an hour she"d probably be in here to steal an egg roll.

With the counter wiped down and the last dish in the dishwasher, she sighed and headed for the parlor. Her mother and father sat together on the couch, his arm behind her while he smoked his pipe. The soothing, comforting smell mingled with all the holiday aromas that she forever connected with home. Pearl was asleep on the floor beside the Christmas tree, her hands folded under her cheek. She had fallen asleep an hour short of making it to midnight, but not for lack of trying. The little girl had consumed enough hot chocolate and cookies she should have been on a sugar high for a week.

"Have you seen Benjamin?" she asked her father.

He looked away from the fire, taking the pipe from his lips. "No, Pipsqueak. Last I saw him, he was headed for the kitchen. I thought he was with you."

"Humph. Okay."

She wandered the house, and only managed to find Garnett and Ruby playing chess in the living room. They hadn"t seen Benjamin either. Since her father had last seen him heading for the kitchen, she doubled back through the hall. She scanned the empty room and nearly left again when she saw him outside on the back porch, his hands shoved in the front pockets of his long wool coat, his head down. A light snow had begun to fall, and drifted down in the soft glow of the Christmas lights over his head. Jewell grabbed one of her father"s sweaters from the hook near the door and slipped it on, opening the door to step out onto the porch.

He didn"t look up until she touched his arm, and smiled when he saw her. Without taking his hands out of his pockets he leaned over to kiss her. His lips were chilled and his cold nose rubbed against hers.

"Why are you out here?" she signed.

He shrugged and looked out across the large backyard. A snowman stood in the corner, wearing an orange and yellow striped scarf and hunter"s cap. His face was painted on with food coloring. Ruby"s flying saucer sled sat against the side of the porch, along with an assortment of snow toys. The A-frame swing was nearly buried to the back of the seat.

She touched his arm again so he"d turn back to her. "Is something wrong?"

Benjamin smiled and shook his head. "No. As insane as the last few weeks have been, I think I"m as far away from wrong as I"ve ever been."

Jewell tipped her head, studying his profile in the flickering, multicolored light. Instead of trying to pull out of him whatever was on his mind, she turned to lean back against the porch railing, wrapping her father"s sweater around her body. The wind had a bite, stinging her cheeks and whipping her hair around her face. Benjamin watched her for a few moments before looking out across the yard again. He squinted against the wind that hit him in the face.

"I talked to Travis this morning," he said after several minutes of silence between them.

She pulled her hair back from her face, curling it behind her ears. "About what?"

"I"m coming back to Bulwark mid-January." He chuckled softly. "If I stay home much longer, I think Victoria might try to kill me in my sleep. She says I"m driving her crazy."

Jewell smiled, happy at the idea of having him in the office again. He had been out of the office since the trial began, and Jewel had been working with Alexi Rouan on Benjamin"s funds, with the intent that Benjamin would step back in when he returned from his leave. Alexi was a good manager, but he wasn"t Benjamin. In more ways than one.

She scooted closer to him and laid her hand on his lower arm, but he still didn"t take his hands out of his pockets. Jewell waited until he shifted his attention to her. "I"m glad. I"ve missed you."

His gaze lingered on her lips before coming back to her eyes. "I"ve missed you, too." He smiled, a tip of one corner of his lips. Then he cleared his throat and looked down, shuffling his feet on the icy porch floor. "I"ve been thinking about that, actually. A lot."

She waited for him to look up. "About how much you"ve missed me?"

He nodded. "I think I have a solution."

She couldn"t quite follow his line of conversation. "What"s your solution?"

Benjamin cleared his throat and shifted his weight on the balls of his feet. She just waited. He shifted more, jabbing his hands in his pockets. After another few minutes of strange silence, he laughed more to himself than to any joke she wasn"t privy to. "I can"t remember the last time I had a problem saying what was on my mind."

Jewell swallowed and took a deep breath, unsure whether she wanted to hear what he had to say, or not. If he hadn"t tried to end them—whatever they were—just over a week before she probably wouldn"t feel any apprehension at all. But, considering that painful conversation, she couldn"t help the niggling apprehension in her stomach.

Benjamin huffed a breath and raised his head, turning his whole attention on her. "Jewell, I want to wake up with you beside me every morning, not just on weekends or when we can get away. I want to work beside you, with you. I want to take you home at night and cook you dinner." He said everything rapidly, like he needed to get it out, then stopped. The twinkle lights reflected in his eyes. "I want to make love to you, and I want to fall asleep with you beside me. Every night. I love you, Jewell."

Jewell knew her mouth hung open, but she couldn"t seem to get her tongue to work. A minute ago, he couldn"t get out what he wanted to say, and now she couldn"t form a complete thought to respond. He finally took his hand from his pocket, a key held between his thumb and index finger when he held up his hand, his other fingers curled into his palm.

"I have four bedrooms," he continued. "Victoria is going to stay with me for a while, but she and Dillon intend to get married this summer. Ruby can have her own room, so you don"t have to worry about where she'll stay. I"d love to have her there." He stopped and looked back to the house, maybe seeing there whatever it was that would help him get everything out. "I"ve discovered I like a house full of people."

Jewell looked at the key in his hand. Her hands shook with cold, or maybe nerves when she uncrossed her arms to sign. "Benjamin, are you asking me to move in with you? Me and Ruby?"

He smiled, one corner of his mouth tipping up, followed by the other. "I am."

"I…" She shook her head, staring again at the key held between his fingers.

"Take the key, Jewell." He held the key out to her. "Just because you take the key doesn"t mean you"re agreeing. You should think about it."

Staring at him, Jewell wrapped her fingers around his hand, the cold of hers a sharp contrast to the warmth of his from being in his pocket. As she took the key, he opened his hand and a ribbon dropped from the key, a diamond ring on a simple silver band dangling from the other end of the ribbon.

Jewell gasped, staring at the ring. Red and green twinkling lights reflected off the facets of the diamond. She grasped the ring between her fingertips and held it in front of her face, then looked at him again. He smiled, but his grin was hesitant, nervous. Benjamin lifted her left hand and took the diamond from between her fingers. She wasn"t sure, but she thought his own hands shook as he slipped the diamond on her finger and lifted her hand to his mouth, kissing her knuckles.

He stepped in front of her, bracketing her feet on both sides with his own, and kissed her. She realized when his mouth brushed hers that her lips were slick with tears. With a smile, he blew on his fingers before signing in the space between them.

"I"m sorry if my attempt at a proposal was lame, but…" His hands stilled, and he paused long enough to touch her cheek with cold fingertips. "I"ve never asked a woman to marry me. I"ve never even considered it before you. I"ve been trying to figure out how to do it and had the key idea, but until you came out I didn"t know what I would do.I didn"t even know if I"d have the courage to ask you at all. I was afraid you"d say no. I"m still afraid you"ll say no."

Jewell swallowed, trying to calm the rapid beating of her heart. Her breath billowed in front of her face. Tears blurred her vision, but she smiled and laughed and knew she probably was a confusing picture. She laid her palms on his cheeks and stroked her thumbs across his lips.

"I know you need time to think about this," he continued. "Jewell, I can"t…" He paused, huffing a cloud of steam in front of his face. He sniffed and clenched his fingers before opening his hands again. "I made a choice when I was young, and I never regretted it until I fell in love with you. Even before I knew about Prescott. I can"t give you a family, Jewell."

"Of course you can."

He shook his head. "You know what I said in Hartford. I can"t father children."

She wrapped her fingers around his and urged him to turn toward the house, drawing him to the kitchen window. If they stood at just the right angle, they could see through the kitchen window into the parlor beyond where her parents sat, and the tree twinkled behind them. Looking through, she saw Garnett come into the parlor and scoop a sleeping Pearl off the floor. She flopped in his arms like a rag doll, her little heart harboring no fear for who might be carrying her off to bed. Ruby passed him, kissing Pearl"s forehead, and flopped down on the couch on the other side of her mother so the three of them—Mama, Daddy, and Ruby—sat side by side.

Jewell looked to Benjamin. "You see," she said, not wanting to let go of his hand. "Biology is nothing. You can be a father, Benjamin. If you want…"

He gripped her wrists and brought them together, turning his head within her hold to kiss her palms. With a deep huff, he stepped back, putting some space between them, and dropped to his knee. Jewell covered her mouth, trying to hold back the small sob in her throat. She had to blink to clear the tears that ran icy cold down her cheeks.

Looking up at her, Benjamin pressed his palm to his heart before he signed, "Jewell, please marry?—"

"Yes," she said before he could finish. She grabbed his hands and tugged him to his feet. She was kissing him before he was fully standing. Their lips were cold, and she was pretty sure she"d lost some feeling in them, but no kiss had ever been so sweet.

The back door opened, and her father cleared his throat. "Would the two of you like to come in? It"s nearly midnight. Or are you staying out here?"

Jewell laughed, a wellspring of just plain happiness bubbling up from her chest. She pointed at her father and signed his question to Benjamin. He turned, his smile wide, and extended his hand to her father.

"Sir, she said yes."

Jewell"s mouth fell open and she thumped Benjamin on the chest. "You told my father you were going to propose?"

"No," her father answered. "Benjamin asked me if it was acceptable to your mother and me if he asked you to marry him." He smiled at Benjamin and took his hand in a firm shake. "It is more than acceptable. Now, you two get in here before you freeze to death."

Benjamin took her hand and led her into the house. Once inside, he took off his coat and helped her with her sweater, hanging them at the door. They joined the family in the parlor where everyone gathered around the flaring fireplace. Jewell"s mother met her with an embrace, immediately moving to Benjamin and kissing his cheeks before she hugged him. As soon as he was free, Benjamin stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her, linking them at her waist. She leaned back against his chest and released a long sigh.

Benjamin let her go just long to sign in front of her, "Happy New Year."

She tilted her head and looked up at him, meeting his lips for a kiss.

The End