Chapter Eighteen

"Would you care for some more turkey, Benjamin?"

He raised his hands, waving them in surrender before answering Jewell"s mother. "Honestly, I couldn"t eat another bite."

She smiled, the sweetest and most honest smile Benjamin had ever seen on a woman other than her daughter, and stood to stack dishes and take them away. Immediately, Benjamin and all the Kincaid children jumped to their feet, gathering plates and serving dishes still teeming with some of the most delicious food Benjamin had ever eaten. The house was filled with activity and aromas and life that nearly vibrated through him. Garnett had brought Jackie, whom Jewell described as Garnett"s perpetual girlfriend. This was her third Thanksgiving with the family, and their mother was gently putting pressure on Garnett to finally propose.

Cecil"s brother and wife were there, with their two grown children and spouses and four grandchildren. Another brother came alone, and Jewell had explained he had never married. Opal"s sister, who was a widow, came alone. Her children had left New Hampshire when they married and now lived too far to come home for the holiday.

There were also some cousins, but after the tenth introduction, Benjamin had lost complete track of any names. Only a few knew sign language with a limited vocabulary, and Benjamin noted how the Kincaid children always made sure someone was near their mother to provide interpretation when needed. The home was warm, and not just from the fire burning in the parlor fireplace. He had felt just a fraction of the sensation when he"d come to peel apples and meet her family, now it was almost overwhelming.

"Do you do this every Thanksgiving?" he asked when the table had been cleared and the crowd had disbursed to various rooms throughout the first floor. Two of the cousins had stepped into the backyard to smoke cigarettes because while Cecil was free to smoke his pipe in the house, cigarettes were sanctioned to outside.

Jewell nodded and led him through the front room to a loveseat positioned in front of a double window that looked out onto the front porch. A cool draft squeezed in through the frame of the old window, helping to balance against the intense warmth thrown off by the fireplace. He slipped his arm across the back of the settee, and Jewell shifted to sit close to his side.

"Thanksgiving. Christmas. Easter. Everyone in the family comes here if they"re in the area. It"s been that way as long as I can remember."

"It"s amazing," he spoke, not wanting to take his arm from around her to sign. "I—we—Victoria and I never had anything like this." He looked down at her, accepting and enjoying the warmth that spread through his chest at her open smile. "I wish I hadn"t asked you to leave with me this afternoon."

"Mama and Daddy understand."

Benjamin shook his head. "No. I want you to stay."

She pressed her finger to his lips and shook her head. "No, Benjamin. Today is about family, and your sister is waiting for you. And I want to be with you if you want me there."

Benjamin nodded and kissed her finger. "Okay."

"Do you want to stay for dessert? We usually wait an hour before we break out the pies."

He turned his wrist and looked at his watch near her ear. "I"d hoped to leave before then. It"s a long drive, and even now we probably won"t see her tonight." He focused on Jewell again, hoping his grin came across as lecherous as his thoughts. "Besides, if we leave soon, it won"t be too late when we get to the hotel." He bobbed his eyebrows.

Jewell smiled slow and sexy, tilting her head to kiss him. He crooked his elbow, cradling her head to deepen the kiss, wishing as a thrust of heat hit him that they weren"t in a room full of her family and friends…and impressionable young children. Garnett walked by the couch with Jackie, and kicked the leg, making the whole thing shift. Benjamin smiled and chuckled against Jewell"s mouth before looking at her brother. Garnett just dismissed them with a flip of his hand and headed into the hallway, Jackie"s hand in his. He was probably the smart one, finding a less crowded room in the house.

Opal stepped into the parlor from the doorway leading to the kitchen and scanned the crowd of family and friends, smiling wide when she spotted them. She wove her way around chairs and scattered children, holding up a brown bag. As soon as she reached them, she handed Jewell the bag.

"I know you two need to leave, so I packaged up some desserts. A little bit of everything. You might be able to snack on the cookies on the ride, but I included some forks for the pies that you can eat when you get there. I also made turkey sandwiches, in case you want something other than sweets."

Jewell stood, kissing her mother on the cheek. "Thank you, Mama."

Benjamin stood beside her and laid his hand on Opal"s elbow, leaning in to kiss the other cheek. "Yes, thank you so much for opening your home to me."

She laid her warm hand on his cheek, and her smile wrapped around him. "You and your sister are welcome here any time, Benjamin. We"ll set a table for both of you at Christmas."

* * *

Rapid pounding nudged Jewell from the deep, sated sleep she"d slipped into a couple of hours after they arrived at the Hartford Crowne Plaza. Benjamin had kept to his implied promise and had made love to her until they both curled up together under the blanket of heavy, sweet exhaustion. She thought at first it might be thunder, and opened one eye to look at the hotel room window, but saw nothing but darkness. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that thunder in Connecticut in November was highly unlikely, but she wasn"t awake enough to process the fact. She closed her eyes and snuggled back into the soft hotel bed.

The pounding came again and yanked her fully out of her sleep. As her senses came to the front, one by one, she realized the rude cadence was too fast and insistent for thunder. Jewell tried to turn over and sit up, glancing around the suite bedroom, still feeling disoriented at waking in a different place. She smiled as Benjamin"s strong arm tightened around her waist and pulled her against his chest.

Sleep settled back down over her, as sure as the warm blanket Benjamin pulled closer to them. She drifted again into his comfort as Benjamin settled his chest against her back and spooned his body with hers. Jewell sighed and hummed her content.

The next thump shot her up off the mattress. For a moment, her heart pounded faster and a cold wave rushed over Jewell"s heated skin. Benjamin came awake and sat up beside her. She fumbled to find the switch for the wall lights at each side of the headboard. He didn"t wait for her to find the switch before he pulled on her arm for her attention. The faint moonlight coming through the window was enough to light his face.

"What"s wrong?" he asked, a bleary haze in his eyes.

"Someone is pounding on the outer suite door."

Benjamin swung around in a fluid motion and pulled on his boxers and jeans before he stood. Barefoot, with the top button of his jeans still undone, he headed for the bedroom door. Jewell looked furtively around the room and grabbed one of the fluffy white hotel robes from a chair near the bathroom door. By the time she slipped it on over her cotton shorts and tank top and made it to the bedroom doorway, Benjamin was already at the suite door leading into the hotel hallway.

Jewell padded in bare feet across the carpet. Benjamin stood at the door, his hand on the wood. The next round of pounding made her jump, and he yanked his hand back. Who could be pounding on Benjamin"s door at three o"clock in the morning? Benjamin opened the door, and Jewell gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

Benjamin and his father faced off through the open door. Jewell clutched together the front of her robe and pressed her other hand against the wall. She took in a quick, sharp breath.

Jon Roth turned his head slowly to bring his stony gaze down on her. A chill sank into her bones, and Jewell"s eyes burned as she found herself unable to blink or look away. At least two days' worth of stubble peppered Mr. Roth"s cheeks, and his dark hair spiked out in disarray about his head, some falling forward over his brow. The stench of stale alcohol and two-day body odor wafted in on the evening air and assaulted Jewell"s nostrils. The stories Victoria had shared with her, about the violent combination of Jon Roth and alcohol, churned Jewell"s stomach.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Benjamin snapped.

"I"m here to kick your bastard ass," Jon Roth boomed.

Benjamin"s jaw was set and the muscle across his cheek bounced. "I"d like to see you try."

He tried to shut the door, but his father"s palm slapped against the thick wood. Jon"s other hand came up with one extended finger, which he wagged in Benjamin"s face. It was quickly slapped away. The hostility was tangible and hung in the air like a veil.

"You bastard. You ungrateful son of a bitch. Who the hell do you think you are to believe that murdering punk over me?"

Jewell couldn"t move, couldn"t breathe.

"I believed him because I knew he couldn"t hurt Victoria. He loves her. I know what you are capable of."

Jon Roth shoved hard against the door and pushed his way into the suite. Benjamin stepped back and put himself physically between his father and Jewell. She raised her hand and laid her hand against his back, letting him know with her touch that she was there.

"You owe me! I put you where you are today! You haven"t the right to fuck with me!"

Shock and disgust registered immediately on Benjamin"s face. Jewell"s breath caught in her throat. She wanted to step in and stop this, but the testosterone-charged air acted like a force field and kept her from moving.

"You had nothing to do with it. And one thing has nothing to do with the other. You shot her! You could have killed her!"

She nearly choked. She saw Jon Roth"s smoldering eyes dart in her direction when she involuntarily gasped.

"She"s my daughter! My life!"

"Everything I wasn"t."

"Damn straight."

Benjamin"s body tensed. Jewell"s heart ached and she wanted to scream out for him to stop. "Why the hell should I do anything for you?"

"I educated you."

"What? You want to take credit for sending me to a good school? You did it to get rid of me."

Jewell tried to breathe against the ache in the center of her chest. Her focus switched from Benjamin"s incensed face to his father"s furious expression.

"You all but told the police you think I"m guilty when you hired a lawyer to defend that no-good punk that shot your sister."

The argument bounced back and forth like a ball bearing in a pinball machine. One moment it was about Benjamin"s childhood, the next Victoria"s shooting.

"You are guilty. I didn"t have to tell them. Victoria did."

Jon"s fist impacted Benjamin"s jaw with a smack that ricocheted through the suite. He stumbled back and took Jewell with him as they both collided with the wall behind them. Her head hit the plaster and the room momentarily spun. Benjamin was back standing instantly, his fists clenched at his side and a fine stream of blood flowing from the corner of his lips. His head snapped around and their eyes locked. Jewell nodded in his silent question, her hand pressed against the forming lump. She was fine.

"You won"t say a damn thing, or so help me, I"ll kill you with my own goddamn hands!"

"Stop this!" Jewell screamed. She heard her own voice but didn"t know from where it came. "Stop and leave now or I"m calling the police."

"Shut up, you little bitch."

Benjamin lunged and shoved Jon Roth back, directly into the chest of Ben Prescott as he came through the door. Jewell watched in horror as Jon turned and swung at Prescott, but was immediately knocked back with a two-handed shove. He tripped over the leg of a bench and landed on his back. As Prescott stepped into the suite, Jewell saw Barbara Roth come through the door.

"What the hell?" Benjamin cursed, standing in a ready-for-battle stance, his fists pulled up near his side.

"Don"t do this, Jon," Prescott said in a surprisingly calm voice.

Jon struggled to his feet, his semi-drunken state making him clumsy. "Get away from me, you backstabbing son of a bitch. Take your whore with you," he shouted, pointing at Barbara Roth.

Benjamin lunged and shoved Jon back against the wall, his forearm pressed against the man"s throat.

"Shut your filthy mouth,"

"What? Don"t like the truth?"

"Jon, please," Barbara called from the door.

Jewell knew Benjamin wasn"t hearing most of the yelling between his father and the new arrivals. She wasn"t sure it would make any difference if he did. None of it made any sense to her, and she heard every word.

"I"ve had it. I"m sick and tired of paying the price for your mistakes. I have been for thirty goddamn years, and I won"t do it anymore," Jon yelled.

"Please. This isn"t the way," Barbara called again.

Jon locked glares with Benjamin, his mouth twisting into a sinister snarl. "You want to know why I shipped you off to that school? Why I couldn"t stand the sight of you?"

"Please," Jewell whispered, tears blurring her vision. She didn"t know what she begged for, but she prayed someone would hear her and make it stop.

"I know why. You couldn"t stand the thought of having an imperfect son. I wasn"t worth your time."

"Wrong," Jon shouted, his eyes rounded wide with what seemed to be untapped fury. "I couldn"t stand you. I couldn"t stand the sight of you because you reminded me every single goddamn day of what your mother did to me. While I was building a life for us, she was screwing my business partner."

Benjamin"s shoulders slumped and his arm slipped from Jon"s throat.

"You"re not my son, you little bastard."

"Oh, God," Jewell whispered and covered her mouth with her hand.

Benjamin stepped back and walked backward away from the door. His gaze darted from Jon Roth to Ben Prescott to his mother. No wonder there was such a strong resemblance between Benjamin and his godfather. They were father and son. Tears streamed down Jewell"s cheeks and her lungs hurt to breathe.

Barbara Roth stepped forward, her face glistening with moisture. A small sob escaped as she crossed the space to her son. She reached out a hand, but Benjamin stepped back before she could touch him.

"Benjamin, please. Let me explain. Let us explain," she said, motioning back towards Prescott.

"No," he said through clenched teeth. "I don"t want to hear it."

Echoed shouts came down the hall, and two Hartford police officers reached the suite door, followed by a security guard and the hotel manager. After another round of shouting and accusations, Jon Roth was handcuffed and escorted out of the hotel. The hotel manager explained to Benjamin, while apologizing profusely for the intrusion and that Jon had made it past the front desk, that several other hotel guests had called to report the disturbance. All Benjamin did was nod.

As the officers questioned his mother and Prescott about the events of the last half hour, Benjamin took hold of Jewell"s arm and led her to the small kitchen area, his grip on her arm firm but gentle considering the tension in his body. Once there, he pulled her near a light and turned her so he could see her face. His fingers pressed gently against her scalp and felt the bump.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Jewell nodded and gingerly touched the corner of his mouth. He flinched away, grimacing. "Let me get some ice for that," she said.

"No," he snapped and Jewell stopped. A face that was harsh and tense one second, softened slightly. "No, I"m fine."

Jewell didn"t know what to say or do. Hesitantly, though she wasn"t sure why, she looked up at him. The corners of his mouth were turned down slightly, and one tight muscle jumped along his jaw. Benjamin"s stare shifted over her face. She took a deep, shaky breath and laid her palm over his heart. It still pounded ferociously with adrenaline. He touched his hand to her waist, and they moved together. Her arms circled his body and Jewell pressed her cheek against his chest. Neither said anything more. In his arms, holding him, Jewell felt some of the rigidity slip from his body.

"Could we have a moment, Mr. Roth? Ms. Kincaid?" said one of the officers, approaching them, and stepped into Benjamin"s line of sight. His name tag indicated Sgt. Ryan.

Benjamin turned on the man, his arm still protectively around Jewell. "How the hell did he get out of jail? I was told bail wouldn"t even be set until later today." His tone barely hid the shout Jewell heard just below the surface, only because she knew him.

"I"m not in a position to answer you, sir."

"Jon Roth holds a lot of power in this town," Ben Prescott said from somewhere behind the officer. "He threw his weight around until a judge heard the case late Thursday. None of us knew, not even Barbara."

Jewell relayed the information, indicating to Benjamin that it was Ben Prescott who imparted the details. Benjamin"s jaw clenched when she pointed to indicate Prescott.

Ben Prescott stepped closer, but Benjamin didn"t look at him, keeping his focus between Jewell and the police officer. Prescott continued.

"Barbara received a phone call from the hospital that Jon was trying to get in to see Victoria but was retained by security. He left on his own accord before they called the police. She called me, and we came here, thinking this might be his next stop."

Benjamin jerked a short nod, acknowledging what she relayed.

"Mr. Roth," interrupted Sergeant Ryan, and Jewell pointed to him to let Benjamin know he spoke. Benjamin looked up, meeting the uniformed man"s eyes. "We need to confirm whether you wish to press charges against your father for assault."

Benjamin"s lips pressed together so hard that a thin white line outlined his mouth. His lips twitched and he swallowed, drawing in a long breath. "I fully intend to press charges."

Sergeant Ryan spent the next twenty minutes taking statements from her and Benjamin. Exhaustion dragged at Jewell"s limbs and made her eyelids heavy. She stood beside Benjamin, turned into his side, fighting the urge to rest her forehead against his chest and close her eyes.

Only when the sergeant said he was finished did Jewell manage to blink enough to focus on the officer. He shook Benjamin"s hand, then tipped his hat at her, and left them alone. Benjamin wrapped his arms around her again and kissed the top of her head.

"Benjamin?" Prescott"s voice came from near the door. She hadn"t realized the two of them were still in the suite.

Reluctantly, Jewell pulled back and pointed in Prescott"s direction. Benjamin turned, and his arms tightened a fraction around her. He still held her close against his side. Behind Prescott stood Barbara Roth, a pained and sorrowful look on her face.

"You need to leave," Benjamin ordered.

"Benjamin, just listen to us," Prescott asked.

He pulled her tighter against his side. His hold was so intense, Jewell found it hard to breathe. She wished Barbara and Prescott would leave to give him time to digest everything. How much more did he have to go through? What else could he be expected to accept?

Benjamin"s ribcage expanded beneath her hands as he took a deep breath. His head dropped forward and he nodded slowly.

"Fine."

He laced his fingers through Jewell"s and they led the way to the small sitting area across from the kitchenette. She and Benjamin sat on the couch, while Barbara Roth and Ben Prescott sat in the chairs facing them. Jewell had a hard time wrapping her mind around the idea that these two were his true parents. How hard was it for Benjamin?

Jewell laid her hand on his thigh to bring his attention to her. "I"m going to go in the bedroom. Let the three of you talk," she signed.

Benjamin shook his head. "No. Stay right here."

"Benjamin, I don"t belong."

His hand covered hers. "Stay."

"If my son wants you here, Jewell, so do I," Barbara Roth said in a small voice, drawing Jewell"s attention.

She looked from Barbara to Prescott and finally Benjamin. His dark eyes were all she needed to see. Jewell nodded and turned her hand to squeeze his.

"Okay. I"ll stay."

Benjamin slumped back on the couch, looking at Ben Prescott. "So, it"s true."

Prescott nodded and looked to the woman at his side. He took her hand and Barbara tried to smile. "Yes. And you have no idea how much we"ve wanted to tell you."

Benjamin sat forward again, his body a bundle of nervous energy beside her, and pushed his fingers through mussed hair. "You had no right," he said in a low, half-muted voice. He lifted his head and Jewell nearly flinched at the angry twist to his lips. "To keep this from me."

"We know that now," Prescott tried to say, but Benjamin"s words overrode everything else.

Benjamin pointed a finger at them. "You let him hate me. Let him beat the crap out of me. Let him hide me away and tell me how worthless I was, knowing the whole time he wasn"t even my father."

"Benjamin, you don"t know how many times I wanted to step in," Prescott said.

"Not enough to stop it." Benjamin"s voice was cold and flat.

Jewell"s heart ached in her chest. She pulled the robe tighter around her body and kept her gaze on Benjamin"s face. The storm brewing behind his eyes was almost frightening.

"Did you know from the beginning?" Benjamin asked.

Barbara shook her head. "I suppose part of me suspected when I was pregnant with you. But Prescott and I had only been together once, and we both decided that could never happen again."

"Jon was ecstatic when he was told he had a son, Benjamin. I"ve never seen a man so proud," Prescott explained, his voice tight and tired.

"When did he find out the truth?"

Barbara took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. "Shortly after the doctors told us your condition was complete, irreversible…and genetic. You were almost three years old."

"I told you, Benjamin, Jon"s hostility with you had nothing to do with your deafness," Prescott added.

Benjamin"s eyes squinted together as he glared at his father, the man that had always been his godfather and namesake. "I guess you knew better than anyone."

"From the time doctors told Jon and I you were deaf, he was more than ready to help you in any way he could. He wanted to learn sign language and started to look into doctors who could help you speak. We even began seeing specialists, hoping that if we could discover the reason you were deaf, there might have been a way to reverse it."

"Did Gladys know?"

Benjamin"s question pulled Jewell back to the traumatic circle.

Prescott hung his head, his shoulders slumping. When he looked up again, his eyes were red-rimmed and his lower lip pulled tight across his teeth. "I never told her, and she never spoke of it. Whether she suspected, or not, I don"t know. As much as I miss her, I"m glad she"s not here now to see the mess I"ve made of things."

"Do Logan and Abigail know?"

The older man sighed. "No. I intend to tell them today."

Prescott rubbed the side of his finger along his upper lip, then raked his hand over his hair. A familiar action that squeezed at Jewell"s chest. She had to blink and look away, focusing on the moonlight streaming in through the suite sitting area windows.

Benjamin lunged to his feet, marching across the room to the kitchen area with his back to all of them. He stopped at the counter bar and braced his hands on the edge, hunched over with such tension ratcheting his body that his back muscles visibly bunched. All any of them could do was wait for him to rein in the tumult and turn back to them. Jewell brushed at the hot tears on her cheeks, purposefully refusing to look in the direction of his "parents." This was unconscionable and cruel.

When he turned around, the unmitigated rage in his eyes made Jewell gasp. He clenched his fists at his side so hard his hands and arms shook with the tension. When he spoke, his voice was so tight with his anger it barely carried across the room to them.

"Do you have any idea what you"ve done? Do you know what I"ve done because of who and what I thought I was?"

The two people who had given him life behind a veil of lies and deceit exchanged looks.

Benjamin took two long strides toward them, stopping short just feet away. He closed his eyes and rolled his head to the side, his lips pressed together in a thin, white line. When he opened his eyes again, he looked down at Jewell, and the rage was now mirrored with a deep, painful-to-see regret.

"I had a vasectomy when I was twenty-one," he confessed, his voice so low she barely heard him. An instant and intense tightening in her chest made it hard to breathe. Benjamin swallowed and focused on his mother and father. "I was so filled with hatred and rage I didn"t want to pass on to a child the defective gene pool that had spawned me."

Prescott stood, shaking his head, looking Benjamin in the eye. "But, that doesn"t change anything, Ben. The deafness is still hereditary, so whether it was Jon or I?—"

"No!" Benjamin shouted, making all three of them jump. "It changes everything. I didn"t exclude the possibility of ever having children because I didn"t want them to be deaf. I wouldn"t have cared." He spoke through teeth clenched so tight his school speech patterns were difficult to understand. "I didn"t want the twisted, hate-filled genes of Jon Roth to carry through me to a child who deserved better."

Jewell couldn"t hold back the tears anymore, pressing her curled fingers against her lips in a vain attempt to smother the sound.

* * *

Benjamin leaned into the marble vanity in the en suite, letting the faucet run in the sink until steam curled upward from it. He took a washcloth from the sideboard and soaked it in the hot water. The liquid burned his fingers as he wrung out the terrycloth, and he took a deep breath through the moist heat as he pressed it to his face.

He dropped the cloth on the countertop and pushed his fingers through his now-damp hair. Reluctantly, he raised his eyes and looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Who was he?

Benjamin always believed he was his own man. Because of the way his father—the way Jon Roth—pushed him, it made him the person he grew to be. He was the hated son of Jon Roth.

Now who was he?

He wanted to remember the fact that he was no blood relation to the bastard that almost killed Victoria. Benjamin had worried that whatever sick dementia drove his father to such a rage that he could shoot his daughter somehow dwelled in him. Someday that insanity might snap in his mind and push him into hurting someone he loved. Which had been why he had done what he"d done at twenty-one.

So, now he knew.

But what did that mean? Some part of him was a result of his childhood. His upbringing. Yet other parts of him were a result of his parents. The genetic soup that created him. Ben Prescott was supposed to be just his godfather. His namesake. Not a man who"d spent one night with his mother.

In one night, he went from being the outcast son to an unwanted bastard. Which was worse?

With a deep breath and heaviness in his chest, Benjamin wiped a dry towel over his face and turned to walk into the bedroom. Jewell sat near the foot of the bed, still wrapped in the white hotel robe, with her arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes and cheeks still bore the evidence of her tears. She looked at him when he opened the bathroom door. A small smile bowed her lips.

She hadn"t said much since Barbara and Prescott left—he couldn"t yet see Ben Prescott as his "father", and "mother" seemed too good for Barbara Roth. Benjamin worried about what kind of effect all this insanity and garbage had on Jewell. Never had he imagined he would pull her into such a sick and twisted drama that the first time he"d kissed her in his office. Of course, he never believed then that they would come this far. That she would spend her nights in his arms and look at him with eyes that held a universe of thought and emotion in one glance.

Jewell stood as he approached the bed. He reached out his hand and she took it with both of hers. She stepped against him, pressing their joined hands between them, and her breath brushed across his chest.

"How are you?" she asked.

Benjamin brushed a wave of auburn hair behind her ear. "I wish I could answer that question."

"Is there anything I can do?" Jewell leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his chest.

Heat spread out from the spot, quickly warming his body and limbs. Benjamin pulled in a long, deep breath through his nostrils. He pulled his hand from hers and found the knot of the robe"s belt. With a tug, he worked the tie loose, holding her gaze as he did. Jewell"s delicate hands touched his sides and slid along his bare skin as he worked to open the front of the robe. She wore the same cotton shorts and stretchy tank top she"d worn that night he went to her apartment, and a silk negligee couldn"t be any sexier.

"Yes, there is something," he said, feeling his throat restrict as his need for her exploded in his chest.

She stood unmoving as he pushed the robe off her shoulders, her green eyes still looking up at him through auburn-tinted lashes. He ran his fingertips along her throat and arms, catching the strap and pulling it off her shoulder. As he moved along her breasts, Benjamin felt her breath catch and her eyelids fluttered.

"Make me feel real, Jewell."

She raised her arms and laced her fingers into his hair. She didn"t speak, but pulled him down for a hot and sweet kiss that sucked the air from his lungs. The need to somehow affirm himself, whatever way he could, flooded him. If Jewell could still make love to him, if she could be with him, that had to mean he was worth having. Because Jewell chose him, he was worth choosing.

He pulled her against him in an intense embrace. Benjamin was a man incensed. Her touch fed him. The taste of her, as he pulled the skin of her throat between his teeth, increased his hunger. Her hands skimmed along his waist and his breath caught when she released the button of his jeans.

Benjamin lifted her off the floor and laid her down on the mattress, her hair fanning out around her head like a flame. Her emerald eyes still held his stare, unwavering.

He hovered over her, shucking his jeans as quickly as possible. Jewell beckoned him with her eyes and with her hands. "Benjamin," she started to say, but he devoured the words from her lips.

He reached over and turned off the light, plunging them into total darkness. Tonight, he wanted to only feel.

Her hands shifted over his back and brushed his ribs. Long fingernails dug gently into his backside, forcing a groan through his chest.

He was real. He was real.