22. Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Two

Ronan

T wisting the doorknob, I walk in through the front door, waiting to see if I hear any commotion. Slipping my shoes off, I toss them on the shoe rack next to the other ones. Soft laughter filters in from the living room, my feet leading me in that direction. Rounding the corner, I come to a stop taking in Asher, Carter, and West all sitting in the living room. Asher and Carter are sitting on the couch while West is sitting on the floor in between Carter's legs. Carter is absentmindedly sifting his hands through West's hair, a loving look permanently etched on his face.

Asher notices me first, smiling widely and nodding his head at me. "Hey man, what's up?"

Both Carter and West whip their heads in my direction, grinning the same way Asher just did.

"Hey," West says, patting the spot next to him. "You wanna come play a game or two with us?"

"Sure." I walk over to them, plopping down next to West and grabbing the controller. Looking at the screen, I see they're playing a racing game and there's an ache in my heart as I look at the screen. Playing these racing games was something we did all the time with Noah. Kicking our asses was something he did easily. Sitting here, I realize we haven't played as much as we used to. I glance over at Asher, who smiles back at me, but it's dimmed. Fuck, I know he misses Noah so much. He makes it a point to talk to him daily, but I know it's not the same as being near him every day. I offer him a small smile, knowing that in a few weeks when Noah is back in his arms, he'll be happy again. And as much as I want to tell him, it's Noah's surprise and I don't want to ruin that for him.

Turning back toward the TV, I wait as West starts up a new game. We lose ourselves in the game for a while, taking turns playing round after round. Once West has kicked my ass for the tenth time, I toss the controller to the side with a huff, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Even with Noah not here, I'm still getting my ass kicked," I mumble, quickly glancing at Asher, hoping he doesn't get upset at me bringing up Noah not being here. Asher isn't paying me any attention, though; his fingers are flying across his phone, a beaming smile on his face. He glances up and catches me staring at him.

"Noah's with his mom at the store, picking out some new flowers. He's sending me selfies of them." He lifts his phone into the air, allowing the rest of us to see the picture. Noah's standing next to his mom, holding up a flowerpot with a huge grin on his face.

"He looks really good," I say softly, so happy for my best friend.

"He really does." He flips the phone around in his hand before continuing, "Hey, let's take a selfie and send it to him."

We gather around each other while Asher lifts his arm up to take a picture of us. We take a couple pictures. One of us smiling, a few of us making funny faces. Asher sends them all to Noah, who sends us hilarious selfies in return. Going back and forth, we send selfie after selfie laughing our asses off. Asher's phone eventually rings and he heads down to his room to talk to Noah in private.

Once he's out of sight, Carter sighs loudly, grabbing the nape of West's neck. "I can't wait till Noah is back home with us."

"Agreed," West chimes in. "The house feels empty without him. Plus, kicking your guys' asses in video games is getting tiresome."

"Ha. Ha. So funny." I deadpan, looking at him. "I'm going to go get some water. Does anyone want some?"

They both nod their head so I make my way to the kitchen and grab some bottles of water. Looking through the cabinets, I grab a bag of chips and head back to the living room. Tossing the chips onto the coffee table, I hand each of them a water, before sitting back down next to them.

"Where have you been, by the way?" West says. My head lifts in time to watch Carter smack him in the back of the head. Rolling my eyes, I open the bottle of water and start gulping it down. "What? It's a serious question. He lives here, but we barely see him. Hell, I never thought I would say this, but I miss all the sex noises coming from his room all the time."

His words come out easily as the water gets stuck in my throat. I cough roughly, trying to catch my breath, taken aback by what he said. "What?" I gasp out, my eyes widening in their direction.

Now it's West's turn to roll his eyes. "Don't even pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. There was either constant moaning, groaning, whimpering, all the noises you would expect. And the talking. Oh, my god. The talking. Do you like talking to yourself? Like do you work yourself up? How did that work?"

"Oh. My. God," I mutter, dropping my head into my hands. My cheeks start to warm up and I know I'm fucking blushing hard. I always tried so fucking hard to be quiet, but I knew there was a risk that one of them would hear me. But for some reason, I truly never thought about what they were hearing on the other side of the door. My mind starts flicking through all the different videos I've made and I groan out loud.

"Fucking West. Why did you have to say something?" Carter whispers, but loud enough that I hear him.

"It's true. It was like a fucking porno or something going on in there. But like for reals, what did you do in there? Cause my mind runs wild thinking of what was going on." I hear a smack and I can only assume Carter has hit him in the head again. "Fucking hell, Carter. I was just asking."

"It's none of your business," Carter grits out. "What he does in the privacy of his room is between him and him."

They are fucking killing me. They're having a full ass conversation as though I'm not sitting here in the room with them listening to every word. I cover my ears, trying to drown them out, but it's not working.

"Oh, holy hell. I was making videos, all right? I wasn't talking to myself, or getting myself off to my own words. I was making videos." I blurt out, my eyes expanding when I realize what I've just said. "Fuck," I whisper.

"Videos?" Asher's voice cuts through, and I groan. When the hell did he come into the room?

"Yes. Videos."

"What kind of videos?" West asks a little too eagerly. I look up at him and see him staring at me. There's not a look of disgust on his face, but more of a curious look, like he wants to know more about it.

"Well, uh, I did different types of videos."

"For reals?"

I nod my head looking at each of them. They all seem interested in knowing more, so I start telling them more about it. "It wasn't porn. Well, kinda, but I never did anything with anyone in person. It was either I recorded myself or I did live videos with people."

"I never heard any other voice besides yours," Carter finally cuts in.

"I usually made them when the house was empty."

"Wow. I never would have thought that. Did you like it?" Now it's Asher's turn to ask his questions.

"I mean yes, of course. Fuck, this is so weird. Telling you guys about this when I've kept it a secret for so long."

"Why did you keep it a secret from us? We know you're a secretive person, but you have to know we would have been here for you. Or to help you." West looks at Carter and amends his statement, "I mean not help-help, but like we could have made sure we were out of the house, or made sure you had everything you need." Carter smacks him again and West mouths ‘ ow ' before looking back at me. "It sucks you felt like you couldn't tell us." He shrugs his shoulders and I instantly feel like shit.

"It wasn't that I was keeping it from you. It was more so the less people who knew the better. I don't show my face; I didn' t want anyone to know it was me. It wasn't because I didn't trust you guys. It was just easier for me."

"We get that," Carter says, grabbing West's hand and squeezing. "Sorry we forced you to tell us. Well, not us, but West."

"Ya know, I actually feel lighter now that you know. But uh, I don't do that anymore." I tell them, taking another sip of my water.

West gasps, his hand flying up to his chest, pretending he's offended. "You stop doing it now that we know. Why?"

Beaming, I shake my head. "I actually stopped a while ago. And uh, because I met someone. I didn't feel the need to do it anymore." Glancing at the three of them, Carter and West seem shocked, but Asher has a smile on his face. "I take it Noah told you," I guess, talking to Asher.

"Kind of. He didn't say who. Just that you met someone and seemed really happy."

I nod my head, loving that Noah still respected my privacy.

"Do we get to know who?" Carter asks me quietly.

"Okay, but you can't tell anyone. At least not right now." I take the time to look at each of them in the eye, waiting until they nod at me.

I glance at West, who looks giddy, sitting next to Carter. Remembering he saw me wink at Oliver in the quad, he's probably put two and two together already.

"Go ahead and tell them." I flick my hand in West 's direction, giving him the all clear.

"It's Professor Carson!" West squeals, then lowers his voice. "That sexy-ass professor that Ronan and Noah had last semester. The redhead who wears the three-piece suits."

Two sets of wide eyes stare at me and I smile sheepishly, shrugging my shoulders. "Guilty."

"Wow." Asher leans back on the couch. "I didn't see that coming. But I'm happy for you. As long as you're happy."

"I'm very happy."

"And you're not making videos anymore?" West cuts in and we all laugh.

"Sorry, West, but no."

"Damn." West turns to Carter and waggles his eyebrows. "Wanna make some videos?"

"Hell no," Carter says, shaking his head.

"Ugh, fine." West pouts, crossing his arms over his chest.

"So, what happens now?" Asher asks.

"Um, I'm not sure. I think Oliver is going—"

"Oooo Oliver," West cuts in and I smile, tossing a couch pillow at him.

"Yes, that's his name." I snicker then keep talking. "He's going to talk to Dean Grey and to be honest, I'm nervous."

"Why?" Asher asks again and I smile, loving that he seems to care so much.

As much as I kept myself at a distance from them with certain things, they really are my best friends and I'm thankful I have them to talk to.

"While it's not against any of the rules for the university, we don't know how the dean is going to react to the news."

"But you've talked about it, right?" Now it's Carter with the questioning.

"We have. And we've decided what we're going to do, but it's still nerve-wracking. I really don't want him to lose his job because of me."

"What did he say when you talked about that being a possibility?" This is coming from West, now.

"He said it would be worth it, and he would find a new job if needed."

"Seems like a pretty good guy to me," West says.

Asher and Carter agree, and I smile at them. "He really is." Taking a deep breath, I grin. "Thank you guys. For talking to me."

"We're always here for you whenever you need us. Even if you do spend most of your time away from the house now," Asher jokes.

"Don't even get me started. You all paired off first. I was just following your lead. I didn't want to be a fifth wheel anymore." I chuckle, letting them know I was just joking around with them. Even though I did feel that way sometimes, it wasn't all the time. "Do you guys wanna play some more games?"

"If I say yes, will you tell us more about those videos?" West laughs after he says it. "Just kidding, but for reals, I'm still so damn shocked. I'll probably be joking about this for a while."

"I figured you would." I grab the controller off the floor and toss it at him. "Let's play."