13. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Oliver

I t's been two weeks since the night I finally caved and admitted I wanted Ronan. Okay, so maybe not that I wanted him. I know I've been attracted to him. But it's been two weeks since I finally gave in. Since the night we got off together on the computer, we've been texting nonstop. We text all throughout the day whenever neither of us is in class. At night we talk on the phone, most nights ending up in us getting off again.

I thought I would care more about him being my student, but I'm not. After my initial freak out, I don't think about it. This is the last day that he's officially my student and we'll finally be able to see each other in person. Or see what this is.

Closing my eyes, I think about what's happened the past couple weeks. Everything with Ronan is allowing me to find out about who I am as a person. He's giving me the confidence to figure out who I am and what I like. Before him, when I tried to use toys, I would freak out or get too nervous. Now, I have no shame using my toy. Especially in front of him. Even if it's through a screen.

And fuck, I love his praise. When he tells me how good I'm doing, it makes me want to do better and to be as good as I can. I never knew my body could respond so strongly to being told how good I am.

Looking up, I lock eyes with Ronan, who offers me a small smile. I grin back then glance around the room, making sure no one is watching me. Ronan shakes his head then winks before diving back into his final. My body is thrumming with excitement. Once he finishes this test, he'll no longer be my student and I can finally touch him.

I leave tomorrow to go back to Chicago for Christmas, so tonight is the first time we're going to get together. We've been talking about this for the past week, our conversations always going back to what's going to happen tonight. We've talked about being able to have conversations where we get to know each other better. And while we haven't said anything sexual will happen, I'm hoping it does.

I'm in a constant state of hardness. I've always thought I knew what it was like to be sexual, but I was wrong. Ronan has awakened something in me I know won't go away. Just seeing him arouses me. Which is usually in the classroom, the wrong place to be hard as stone.

Squirming in my seat, I try to ease some of the tension that's building behind my slacks. Being stiff in a room filled with students is not my definition of a good time.

Students start to file out once they finish their tests and once again, I'm grateful that their finals are being submitted and graded online. One less thing for me to worry about, especially when my mind is always focused on Ronan.

And fuck, does he look good today. He's wearing black jeans, with a tight black tee, meaning his small, muscular arms are on display. His hair is done perfectly and, of course, he's wearing his black combat boots. My eyes take him in as he walks up to the lectern.

My heart beats wildly at the thought of someone seeing me ogle him, but when I glance around the room, I notice we're alone.

"You okay?" he asks, as he sidles up beside me. His hand reaches out, but he swiftly snatches it back. "Sorry, you look worried."

Tossing my head back, I laugh hard, knowing my thoughts were nowhere near what he was thinking. "I was worried. But I don't think I was fretting about what you thought I was worrying about." He tilts his head at me, his lips lightly parting. "I was anxious that someone was going to see me checking you out. I can barely keep my eyes off you, and I'm nervous that someone is going to notice."

"Wow. Nope, that's not what I thought you were worried about."

"What did you think I was worried about then?" I ask, wanting to know where his head is and what he's thinking.

"I thought you were going to say something about ending whatever this is before it's even started."

I'm shaking my head before he even finishes his sentence. "No, I'm not doing that. I want to do this. With you."

I look around the room again, making sure everyone is gone. Once I'm sure there's no one else with us, I step closer to Ronan, but then hesitate. Fuck, I'm nervous again. I'm confident in every part of my life except this. Ronan must sense my hesitation because he closes the distance between us, wrapping his arm around my waist. He drags my body against his so we're flush together before he leans forward and claims my mouth with his.

We've only kissed a handful of times, but nothing has ever compared to this. His tongue finds its way into my mouth, and I grip onto his shirt, trying to get closer. He slowly pulls away, biting my bottom lip with his teeth, then chuckles, shaking his head.

"Why do I like kissing you so much?" he asks. I don't know if he's looking for an actual answer or if it's a rhetorical question, but I answer, anyway.

"I'm not sure, but same here. I don 't see myself getting tired of having your lips on mine."

"Fuck, Freckles. There's just something about you." He keeps one hand on my waist, while he lifts his other hand to my face, his thumb slowly caressing my lip, back and forth. "I was never much of a kisser, but kissing you is completely different. I'm obsessed. And I never want to stop."

He leans forward again, kissing me once more. A whimper leaves my mouth as Ronan fights for dominance. Dominance I easily give him. He takes control of the kiss and I'm just along for the ride. We stay that way for a few minutes, basking in each other, kissing nonstop. Eventually we finish, me pulling away when I remember where we are.

"Will I see you tonight?"

"Yes." There's no uncertainty in his voice; he's all confidence. "I'll see you tonight." He places one final kiss on my lips before lifting his backpack onto his shoulder. "I gotta go, but I'll see you later. Bye, Freckles."

"Bye, Ronan."

I spend the rest of the afternoon finishing up my classes and workload. We have a few weeks off for winter break, but I want to make sure I have everything ready to go for when we come back in January. It's weird to think it's already been an entire semester. It seems as though I had just moved here and now I'm getting ready for the next set of students to come in .

Sitting at my desk, I lean back and close my eyes, thinking about where I was only six months ago versus where I am now. It might not look like I've changed much, but I know I have. Moving here was the best decision I could have made.

I'm uploading my syllabus onto the university's website for my next classes when my phone vibrates on the desk. Opening my messages, my heart drops when I read the message on my screen.

Ronan: I am so sorry to do this, but something is going on with Noah and I need to be here for him.

"Fuck," I whisper to the empty room. I'm debating on what to say when my phone buzzes again.

Ronan: I hate doing this, but he's my best friend, and he needs me right now.

Oliver: I understand, and I would never stand in the way of that. I'm disappointed, but I'll see you when I get back.

Ronan: Get back?

Oliver: I leave tomorrow, remember?

Ronan: FUCK!

Ronan: Dammit, Freckles, I'm so sorry.

Oliver: Don't be. I hope everything is okay with Noah.

Ronan: Yeah, me too. I'll keep you updated.

I don't respond, tossing my phone back down onto my desk. Well, shit. I've kept my hands off him for the past few months. What's two more weeks?

These past two weeks have been hell. While I've been here in Chicago with my family, Ronan has dealt with the problems Noah was having and then he went with his parents to his hometown for Christmas before coming back to BU. As much as I hate that we weren't able to get together before I left, we've talked every day since then. I've been staying with my cousin Alexander, so while we haven't been able to do anything sexual, we still make sure to have nightly chats. I like being able to get to know him better, but fuck, do I want to get my hands on him, too.

Luckily, Nate has been able to go in and check in on Ember for me. He says he's not a cat person, but he's sent me multiple selfies of him and her. So, that's one less thing I've had to worry about. Which means my mind has constantly been on Ronan and Ronan only.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and I'm hoping to make it back to surprise him. I know he's already back with his roommates, so if everything goes well, I'll finally get to touch him.

But that's tomorrow. I still have one more night here and Alexander and his boyfriend, Elias, want to take me out. They've kept my vacation busy, as if I hadn't lived here before. Elias is such a spitfire and I love seeing him and Alexander together. I've spent some time with my parents, but the majority of my time has been spent with Alexander and Elias.

We've done all the touristy things I've done a million times, but it's been nice to get my mind off of Ronan and everything that's been going on with him. I haven't told anyone about him yet.

"Hey," a voice cuts through my thoughts and I jump into the air. "I'm so sorry," Elias laughs, hitting me on the shoulder. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Oh, fuck. It's okay, I must have just been lost in thought."

"It's okay. I wanted to see if you were ready to go."

"As ready as I'll ever be." I mutter, not too excited about going out. I'm not much of a club person, but it's hard to say no to Elias, and I know there's no way in hell Alexander will say no to him.

"Is that what you're wearing?" he asks, grimacing at my outfit. I gaze down at my body, not sure what's wrong with my outfit. I'm wearing blue jeans, a white button-up shirt, and gray Converse shoes. I thought I looked pretty good. Pushing my glasses up my nose, I glare at him.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.

"We're going out. You should dress like it."

"You mean I should dress like you?" I ask, knowing that's what he wants from me. Also knowing it will never happen. Elias is wearing tight white jeans with a matching fishnet top and a light jacket. He looks amazing, but it's not something I could pull off.

"No, you don't have to dress like me, but you're always so dressed up. Even in your comfortable clothes, you're wearing a button up."

"I like my button ups," I bristle, subtly pulling on the hem of my shirt.

"There's nothing wrong with your button ups," he rushes out. "I just thought maybe you would want to cut loose a little. But you still look good, I promise."

"Who looks good?" Alexander says as he strides into the room. I watch as he walks over to Elias, placing a gentle kiss on his neck. Elias melts into him and I turn my head, not wanting to intrude on their moment. I never thought Alexander would settle down, so seeing him with Elias is weird, but amazing. Elias has been so good for him and I love seeing him open up to someone else.

"I was telling Oliver he should dress up for tonight, but he's stuck in his button ups. Like someone else I know." Elias snickers, pointing at Alexander, who's also wearing a button up.

"Don't try to change the man, Elias."

"Yeah Elias. Don't try to change me," I say playfully, giggling when he looks over at me.

"Ugh. Fine. I guess I'll be the only best dressed one here."

"As it should be," Alexander chuckles before walking over to me. "Are you sure you want to go out? We don't have to. We can just stay here."

"No, it's fine. Let's go. Or else Elias might try to force me to change."

"I would never," Elias fake gasps, his hand flying up to his chest.

We laugh as Alexander starts guiding us out of the condo. "Come on, let's go. The sooner we leave, the sooner we get to come back."

"Now that is the best thing you've said yet," I say, snickering as I follow them out the door.

We head downtown toward a place called Club Rainbow. Apparently, this club means something to Alexander and Elias as they started giving each other heart eyes as soon as we walked in.

"Remember the night you took me home from here?" Elias asks Alexander as we walk up to the bar.

"How could I forget? It was the beginning of us."

"Oh, my god. Please stop," I say, signaling for the bartender to come down our way. I've never seen Alexander so mushy before and I don't know what to do with it.

"Sorry, but I'm going to go dance while you guys talk. Is that okay?"

Alexander nods his head as Elias takes off into the crowd. A girl rushes up to Elias and they both scream before hugging each other.

"That's Melanie, Elias' best friend. They'll be able to dance for hours nonstop so we can just hang out here and chat."

"Sounds good." The bartender comes down toward us and we both order a beer, each of us taking a seat on the stool we're standing by. "Elias is good for you."

"Yeah, I think so." A dreamy look crosses his face before he continues, "Are you excited to head back to California tomorrow?"

I take a sip of my drink, debating what to tell him. I haven't told anyone about Ronan, but I have so many questions about what to do and what happens next. And I know Alexander would never judge me or the situation, so I know I can trust him.

"I can't wait to get home. There's ah... There's something I haven't told you yet." I twirl the beer bottle in my hand, giving myself some time before looking up at Alexander. He smiles at me and I rush out, "I met someone."

"You did? Who?"

"His name is Ronan. He's a pretty amazing person. I'm excited to get back to him. I haven't been able to get to know him as much as I want to."

"And why's that?"

And here's when I admit the hardest part of this whole situation. "Okay, I need you to keep an open mind, please."

"Oliver, there's nothing you can say that would make me think differently of you. Well, there is, but I guarantee what you're going to say isn't that bad."

"Okay." Taking a deep breath, I get it off my chest. "Ronan was my student. He's not anymore. But he was. That was how we met. Well, actually we met beforehand, but that's neither here nor there. What matters is he was my student, but there was something about him that pulled me in, and I couldn't stay away. But nothing has really happened. I came out here before it could. But I'm so damn excited to get back home to see what could happen. And now I realize I'm babbling and fuck, Alexander. Did I fuck up?"

"First off, take a breath, Oliver. And second, he's your student? But aren't your students adults? So, what's the problem with that?"

"Isn't that the problem? That he's my student."

"I don't see a problem with it. If he's an adult and it's consensual, then you can do whatever you want. And you said it yourself, nothing happened while he was your student. So, I think you're good. Plus, the huge-ass smile you just had on your face was everything. He must be pretty damn special. That's all that matters. He's not your student anymore?" I shake my head no and he continues, "Then see what happens. Get to know him better. Do what's going to make you happy."

"You're right. Even though I already knew I wasn't going to walk away, you've helped me solidify my decision."

We each order another beer, our conversation changing from things such as work to our families to Alexander planning to visit me in a couple months. We watch Elias and his friend Melanie dance all around the dance floor. We end up joining in for a few songs before calling it a night.

Later that night, after getting into bed, I check the time, noting that in hopefully twenty-four hours, I'll be with Ronan.